When reality goes mad (Archie & friends fan-fiction)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by hobbyfan, Sep 29, 2017.

  1. hobbyfan

    hobbyfan Well-Known Member

    Jun 9, 2002
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    Preamble: Our next "Tales of Riverdale" takes a good natured poke at the deconstruction of Archie Comics history under creative director Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who has ignored his commitments as a comics writer in favor of pursuing his Hollywood aspirations. Even though he's been successful to this point, this may cost Archie Comics in the long term. Just sayin'.
    All characters in this story, except for new creations of mine, are copyright Archie Comics.
    Chapter 1:

    Forsythe "Jughead" Jones had dropped out of college for a myriad of reasons, the biggest of which was the fact that his parents couldn't afford the tuition fees, no matter if it was Riverdale City College, New York University, or Boston University. And, so, Jughead was back at work as a cook at Pop's Place, working six days a week to help make ends meet.

    As the school year started, Jughead waited on a customer who was peddling magazines.

    "I need to speak to the owner of this establishment.", Conrad Appleby said as he placed his order.

    "One moment.", Jug replied. He walked toward the kitchen and handed Appleby's order to Mike, a short order cook, then motioned for Pop Tate to come up front.

    "May I help you, sir?", Tate asked.

    Appleby showed him the magazines he was looking to display in the restaurant.

    "I realize, Mr. Tate, that this normally wouldn't be the place to sell magazines, but since this is a central meeting place for the city's youth, I can't see how they can't, ah, kill two birds with one stone, shall we say?", he said.

    "The kids have a state of the art jukebox to keep them occupied while waiting for their orders, Mr. Appleby. They don't come here to read magazines. If they wanted to, they'd go to the library or buy the magazines at regular outlets. I appreciate your offer, Mr. Appleby, but I'll pass for now."

    Appleby took his order, paid, and departed, 20 minutes later.
    At New Dimensions Fashions, owner Barbara Schubert-Pierce, who'd married her beau of three years, police lieutenant Nelson Pierce, earlier in the year, was making plans to leave Riverdale, as Nelson had accepted a job in San Diego. Assistant manager Debbie Sawyer was named manager, and Brittany Young, Sabrina Spellman, & Betty Cooper were named assistant managers. Due to their college commitments, Sabrina & Betty, of course, would only be available on weekends unless there was an emergency. Brittany was a year removed from graduating from Riverdale High herself, and was taking a year off from Riverdale City College due to her promotion.

    Just prior to closing time on September 7, Brittany was left alone in the store when a strange customer came in. With 5 minutes to closing, Brittany waited on the customer.

    "May I help you?", she asked innocently.

    "Actually, you're the one that will need help."

    The stranger turned, and hurled some gold dust in Brittany's face. She instinctively covered her eyes to avoid being blinded, but that was the least of her worries. The dust formed an array of golden light that enveloped the teenager until it dissolved, leaving Brittany transformed into a golden mannequin.

    "This will send a message to your friend, Sabrina.", the stranger said. "All the world will change and bend to my will, and there's nothing she can do to stop it!"
    Brittany's been turned into a mannequin, and she may not be the last victim.....
  2. hobbyfan

    hobbyfan Well-Known Member

    Jun 9, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Chapter 2:

    It was just before midnight when Hilda & Zelda Spellman, Sabrina's aunts, and the owners of the Victory Garden vegetarian restaurant, were heading home from work after a long, busy day and night. As they passed DeCarlo Square, Hilda noticed a bright golden light in the center of the square. Upon closer examination, they found the newly transformed Brittany, replacing the statue of General Andrew DeCarlo, the great grandfather of former Mayor Matthew DeCarlo. Brittany's attire had changed, her New Dimensions uniform replaced with a toga that barely covered her breasts.

    "Oh, my stars!", Hilda exclaimed. "You said you heard a psionic cry for help, Zelda?"

    "I did, two hours ago.", Zelda replied. "Now we know why."

    The sisters concentrated their combined magical energies on Brittany, and reversed the spell, restoring the teenager to her human form. Zelda even found the missing statue and Brittany's uniform, hidden under a veil of invisibility.

    "Now, who would do something like this?", she wondered.

    The sisters drove Brittany home, and found out from Brittany's mother that there had been a commotion at the square an hour earlier, and the police were going to see what they could do.

    "At that time, my face had been rendered, well, blank, as you saw.", Brittany said. "That strange man said that this was just the beginning of a makeover for the entire town."

    "What exactly did he look like?", Zelda asked.

    "Would you believe, Rumplestiltskin?"
    The next day, after Betty & Sabrina reported for work, Hilda stopped in to deliver dinner for the two girls, and briefed Sabrina on what had happened, since Brittany had the day off.

    "It's getting worse.", she said. "Your cousin Olga's old novelty shop was turned into a gingerbread house earlier this morning, and I thought that it was just for a college stunt, but I didn't see anyone in the area of the building."

    "That's not all.", Debbie put in. "There was a report on the news this noon about the Three Little Pigs coming to life at Pop's Place, and trying to ravage the place. Luckily, Captain Hero showed up and straightened that mess out."

    "Oh, right.", Hilda said. "Pop's is closed for the rest of the day because Pop Tate suffered a heart attack as a result of this odd incident."

    "Rumplestiltskin wasn't actually evil after all, just malevolent and covetous.", Sabrina recalled. "Sounds to me like someone's messing with some classic stories and using them to play some heinous pranks on the town."

    "Pranks?", Jughead asked as he joined the conversation. "Oh, I'm afraid it's worse than that."

    "How so, Jug?", Betty asked.

    "Turn on the news, and see for yourselves."

    In the break room, Debbie turned on the TV. There, she saw, of all people, Little Red Riding Hood and Snow White pulling a bank robbery. They escaped before the police arrived, but.....

    "The cops are still searching for them.", Debbie said.

    "They won't find them.", Sabrina replied. "I think I have a handle on who's behind this."

    "So do I.", Jughead put in. He excused himself and departed.

    A couple of hours later, Captain Hero appeared, and found Mr. Appleby at the wishing well at the edge of town.

    "Something I can help you with, sir?", Hero asked.

    "Oh, no, not really.", Appleby replied. "You, on the other hand, could use a little aid."

    That said, he tugged on Captain Hero's cape, and, with a surprisingly strong toss, sent the Captain plunging down the well to seemingly nowhere. Appleby left, and never noticed a sudden rush of wind behind him, as Mystyk flew in to save her teammate. But, then, he must've known what was going to happen, because as the masked youths emerged from the well, Captain Hero was no more. Mystyk was instead carrying Jughead.

    "This is more than a little embarrassing.", he mused as he settled onto a park bench. Mystyk flew off, only to return a couple of hours later as Sabrina. By then, Jughead had gone home, and left a note on the side of the bench for Sabrina to find. She drove to the Jones house, and found Jug in the garage, cleaning his car. Seeing the young sorceress, Jug motioned her in, turned on the light, and closed the garage door.

    "Do you want to talk about it?", Sabrina asked.

    "Might as well.", Jug replied. "I've lost my powers, and I'm afraid you may be next."

    "Doubt it. My powers manifested when I turned 16, they're a part of me. You said you thought you knew who was behind this."

    "I do. It's Mr. Appleby, the magazine salesman. He's got some weird mad skills for a mere salesman."

    The two compared notes about Appleby. Jug cited his strength, and both guessed he was also a shape changer, which would explain his appearing to Brittany as Rumplestiltskin.

    "If you don't mind my saying so, Sabrina," Jughead said, "I'd think Mr. Appleby may actually be a personification of the Devil himself."

    "You may be right, Jughead. I was going in a different direction, thinking that my cousin Hexter might be behind this."

    "And you'd be right after all, Sabrina!!"

    The two turned, and found Hexter standing in the now-open doorway to the garage.

    "In fact, the Devil has nothing to do with any of this.", Hexter continued. "This is all me, all grown up, and no longer beholden to my Aunt Della, the Queen."

    "Well, I'll say I'm impressed by what's happened so far, Hexter.", Jughead said. "You must have spent a lot of time practicing shape-shifting, among other things, since I saw you last."

    "Practice? HA!", Hexter sneered. "You want a shape-shifter? Ask Sabrina to change herself into something."

    Sabrina took that as a challenge, but, try as she might, she discovered, to her horror, that she couldn't change form if she wanted to. Hexter reverted to his Appleby disguise, then back to his normal self.

    "I siphoned off your shape-shifting powers the minute I arrived in town.", Hexter said. "If I wanted to, I'd make you nothing more than an ordinary mortal, but where's the fun in that?"

    "Then, how to explain warping the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, and Little Red Riding Hood into crooks?", Sabrina asked.

    "You think you're a detective, Sabrina, you figure it out.", Hexter sneered as he teleported away.

    "I don't think this is going to stop with just the two of us.", Jughead said.

    "No, it won't. Hexter's only just begun."
    Next, we'll see what happens to the rest of the gang.
  3. hobbyfan

    hobbyfan Well-Known Member

    Jun 9, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Chapter 3:

    Marmaduke "Moose" Mason and his wife, Midge, had stayed far, far away from the fray.

    You see, the Masons decided to settle in Albany after getting married following their freshman seasons in college. Moose had his 2 year degree from Hudson Valley Community College, and now was working on moving up to a bachelor's degree in sports medicine, which was why he had moved to the University at Albany, which also had a outstanding football program. Midge transferred from Russell Sage to UAlbany to join her husband for their junior seasons, and was now a cheerleader again. But, if they thought they were safe..........

    Three weeks after Hexter resurfaced in Riverdale, the Masons were getting ready to head home after a home game when Moose's car broke down in the student parking lot. Midge went in to use a phone to call AAA, since both had left their cell phones at home. Moose waited patiently until Connor Nelson, an engineering major, came by offering to help.

    "Yo, Moose! Something wrong with the car?", he asked.

    "Yep. Transmission broke down unexpectedly. It was fine when I got here this morning for practice.", Moose replied.

    "Let me take a look."

    Nelson checked the car, then effected the necessary repairs. Suddenly, the two men heard Midge screaming, and ran into the lobby. There, they found Midge lying in a pool of her own blood, dead.

    "Midge! Noooooooooo!", Moose cried. The killer, attired like the Headless Horseman, hadn't gone very far when the bereaved Moose gave chase. Connor, meanwhile, dialed 911 on his cell phone. Moose returned, having lost the Horseman. An ambulance arrived 10 minutes later to take Midge to the morgue.

    Upon returning home, Moose called Sabrina, long distance, and gave her the bad news.

    "This can't be happening, Sabrina!", he sobbed. "We've done nothing wrong to have this happen."

    "No, you didn't do anything wrong, Moose.", came the reply. "Midge will be avenged."

    Sabrina had barely replaced the phone when she got even more bad news. Jason Blossom, the bane of everyone's existence in Riverdale, was reported killed in his cell at state prison, where he was serving a sentence for his involvement in a counterfeiting scheme three years earlier. Cheryl, his twin sister, was crying, as well.

    "This is weird.", Sabrina thought to herself. "First, Jughead loses his Captain Hero persona and powers, I lose my shape-shifting powers, and now Midge & Jason are dead, or so it'd appear. Hexter's definitely not doing this by himself. He's got help, or helping someone else."
    Meanwhile, the Horseman had resurfaced in an abandoned movie theatre, where Hexter and another party waited.

    "It is done.", he hissed. "Midge Klump-Mason is no more."

    "What of her husband?", asked the other party.

    "I didn't see him until he gave chase. I lost him."

    "This will not do. He has to be erased, as well."

    "I want the honor, mistress, of, ah, erasing Sabrina's mortal consort.", Hexter put in.

    "And you shall have it, Hexter."

    The "mistress" removed her hood to reveal Enchantra, the deposed queen of the other realm, who had been overthrown by Sabrina some time earlier. Her son, Sunji, was under the mask of the Horseman.

    "No, mother, the honor of killing that gnat Kinkle is mine!", he argued. "Sabrina will be prepared for her bumbling cousin to strike again!"

    "I have plans for Harvey Kinkle that will further torture Sabrina.", Enchantra replied, laughing. "Sabrina will never see it coming."
    Jason Blossom was laid to rest on October 1, as was Midge. Moose still could not contain his anger, and withdrew from the university, mostly as a cautionary tactic.

    Meanwhile, back at Northeastern University, Sabrina took advantage of an opportunity to use the vacant--for now--gymnasium--to do some, ah, experimenting, with Betty supervising.

    "I don't see the need for us to wear masks for this.", Betty said quietly, adjusting her cowl, as Sabrina had decided the girls would wear the masks to protect their identities. She'd magically turned off the security cameras in the gym for the duration.

    "I understand that.", Sabrina replied. "If we're caught, they'll think we're intruders instead of students. However, I can't risk anyone seeing this."

    She concentrated, and, focusing on a stray housefly buzzing in the area, transformed into a replica of the fly, then back again.

    "Hexter lied about stealing my powers.", she concluded. "Jug may have been right about Hexter learning how to use those powers himself."

    "But he couldn't have gone to Albany and killed Midge, could he?"

    "No, meaning that someone else is involved, but who it is, I don't know."

    Abruptly, Sabrina's cell phone rang. She picked it up on the second ring. It was Hilda.

    "Sabrina, I think you need to come home.", she said. "Harvey and his family were just here, and some demon tried to kill Harvey right in front of witnesses."

    "A demon, aunt Hilda?"

    "He was dressed like the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow."

    "The same one who killed Midge. That clinches it. Hexter is working with someone. I'm on my way."

    Sabrina replaced the phone, then changed to Mystyk.

    "As soon as we're clear of the campus, roomie, I'll reactivate the cameras. We'd better take our clothes with us, and send the cars back to the apartment house.", she said.
    So Sunji has arrived in Riverdale, bent on killing Harvey, but what does Enchantra have in mind? Chapter 4 will tell us.
  4. hobbyfan

    hobbyfan Well-Known Member

    Jun 9, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Chapter 4:

    Within an hour of receiving her aunt's call, Sabrina returned home and went straight to the Victory Garden. Hilda ushered her into the office.

    "Is Harvey okay?", Sabrina asked.

    "Yes, just fine. The Horseman was chased out by security, as he didn't expect any resistance.", Hilda replied. "Harvey's understandably shaken, but his mother said he'd be headed back to school himself later tonight."

    "I'd better ride with him then."

    "Oh. You flew here? I don't see your broom."

    "I didn't use it. I flew---as Mystyk---at super speed, and changed as soon as I landed."

    "Maybe it is better that way. From what I can tell, the Horseman was confused by the security detail, as if he believed no one saw him."

    "Hmmmmm. Sounds like our old friend Sunji's in town, and that means his mother, Enchantra, isn't far behind. Odds are they got to Hexter and turned him against the Queen."

    "I think you may be right. Better head for home. Harvey will need you."
    Later that night, Sabrina paid a call on Harvey at his home near Boston College, where he transferred from St. Louis a year earlier.

    "Sure, he creeped me out, but I tried defending myself.", he said when Sabrina asked about the Horseman. "Security came and he fled like a thief in the night. He was too big to be your cousin, Hexter, though."

    "That's all I needed, honey. That covetous pig, Sunji, is in town. He and his mother are working with Hexter."

    "Oh, man! Just what we don't need!"

    At that precise moment, Sunji, unaware of Harvey's current home, headed for the Kinkles' house in Riverdale. He stopped, however, when he received a message from Enchantra.

    "Change of plans, my son. Your target is now in Boston. My scrying glass tells me he is not with his parents at the moment.", she said.

    "Then I'm on my way to Boston. I suspect Sabrina will be waiting for me there."

    "You don't know that for sure."

    "Trust me. She knows I'm here."
    Just before midnight, Sunji and Hexter had found their way to the Chestnut Hill section of Boston. Hexter had his warped reimagining of the "Three Little Pigs" on his lap, ready to release the carnivorous swine once more.

    "One thing we can count on, Sunji", he said, "we won't see any masked interlopers here."

    "Are you sure about that? Take a look through the windshield.", Sunji replied.

    At that moment, Captain Hero & Pureheart the Powerful hovered above the house. Abruptly, Mighty Moose raised the car over his head, and shook Sunji & Hexter out. Hexter dropped his book, which turned out to be a big mistake. Before he could reach it, the tome was dissolved in a beam of golden light, thanks to a psi-bolt from........

    "Sabrina!!", Hexter cried. "This isn't fair!"

    "Once the pieces came together, cousin, I knew you weren't working alone. Now, your twisted fairy tales are no more!"

    "Oh, really?", Sunji sneered. "Mother has waited a long time for this moment, and she shan't be denied!"

    Sunji raised his wand, but, unfortunately for him, Captain Hero swooped in and snatched it. He pried loose the black ruby atop the wand, and hurled it into the night sky. Sabrina then fired another psi-bolt, which destroyed the ruby on impact. All at once, everything seemed to change. For the better. Mighty Moose felt the ground shaking, thinking it was an earthquake. Realizing Sunji was the one who had slain Midge, he charged, but Pureheart held him back.

    "No, old friend.", he said. "Sabrina knows what she's doing."

    "The shaking ground, Sunji, means that everything you and Hexter have done has been undone, and the fabric of reality has been restored.", Sabrina said. "Your mother's revenge plot is over."

    "No!!", Sunji cried, defiant. "I did not come here to leave empty handed!!"

    He raised his arms, expecting to cast one big spell. Sabrina simply marched up to Sunji, and punched him right in the face, knocking him out. Hexter fell on his knees, crying, begging for forgiveness.

    "You should be pleading with your Aunt, the Queen, for mercy and forgiveness, Hexter.", Sabrina said. "You, above all else, were deceived, just like she was."

    "I'll take it from here, Sabrina."

    Queen Della appeared with a half dozen royal guards to take Sunji prisoner, and to take Hexter home.

    "You're right about Hexter.", she said. "He'd been lied to, and then lied to me and to everyone else, falling for the delusions of grandeur that Enchantra planted in his mind. She's been dealt with, and will be reunited with her son in the royal dungeons. Hexter will be disciplined separately."

    "Thank you, your majesty.", Sabrina said, kneeling.

    "You have nothing to fear, Sabrina.", Della said. "You saved both realms today."
    "This is most peculiar, Moose."

    Robert Hundley, dean of students at UAlbany, met with Moose the next day, and everything seemed as though it was normal.

    "How so, sir?", Moose asked.

    "According to the psych profile I pulled the other day, you supposedly were bi-sexual, but seeing you with your wife on campus convinced me that maybe the profile was all wrong. Then, I pulled it out today for this meeting, and there's no mention of your sexual preferences."

    "Maybe your conscience was right after all, sir."

    At that moment, Midge, hale, hearty, and alive, entered the room.

    "I hope I'm not disturbing anything, Mr. Hundley.", she said.

    "No, Mrs. Mason. Everything's fine. Your husband was just leaving."

    As the couple departed, Midge shared her thoughts with Moose.

    "I had the strangest dream.", she said. "That I'd been killed, buried, and resurrected. How weird is that?"

    "I don't think you want to know, honey."
    Jason Blossom had the same dream, and woke up in his cell at state prison. Cheryl was happy to see her brother again, but feared that this miracle wouldn't last.

    "You really need to see this for what it is, brother. A sign from Heaven to change your ways.", she said.

    "Since when did you find religion?", Jason asked.

    "It's just an expression."
    But there was one issue that wasn't a product of Sunji's black magic. More than a few people noticed that Betty was no longer wearing the engagement ring she'd gotten from Archie after their sophomore season in college. The engagement was off, and even Sabrina was shocked.

    "It's not that Archie & I have completely split.", Betty said, "Because we haven't. We just felt the engagement was too soon. He's back to splitting his affections between Veronica and I, and now I'm doing the same."

    "Oh? So who's the other guy? Reggie?"

    "Nope. Jughead."


    "Now that he's working for a living, Jug can afford to take me out to the movies or dinner at least once a week. Dinner at Pop's is always on the house, thanks more to Pop than Jug, really. I honestly have some serious thinking to do before I become engaged again."

    "At least now, Betts, you're seeing this as I do. This is why Harvey and I haven't rushed things. We're waiting at least another year or two before there's any engagement."

    "Should've listened to you right at the start, 'Bree."
    And with that, we take leave of our friends in Riverdale for a while.

    The end.

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