The Disney Adventures Archive

Discussion in 'Platypus Comix' started by J. B. Warner, Dec 30, 2008.

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  1. J. B. Warner

    J. B. Warner Increasing my wordiness

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    Here's the first of (hopefully) many articles I plan to write about my extensive "Disney Adventures" collection. It spans from approximately 1993 to around 2002, with a couple of gaps here and there, but still a lot of stuff worth talking about. Like this issue...

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    This one comes from the era when I was still buying the magazine off the newsstand, as you can tell by the lack of a subscription sticker (I don't think my subscription began until later in 1994). These magazines are neat little time capsules of the month in which they were published, as they cover virtually every aspect of popular culture, not just Disney. Fifteen years later, what kid knows who Dean Cain is? (By the way, the Beagle Boy on the right looks to be a little too happy to be tied up.)

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    Advertisement for the French Toast clothing line, which I'm pretty sure doesn't exist anymore. Judging by her profile, I believe this girl grew up to be Paris Hilton.

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    "Marsupilami" fan art? I didn't think such a thing existed!
    Note the cyber slang in the lower left. 1994 was when the Internet was just beginning to be used by people other than MIT scientists. Hard to believe there was once a time when people didn't know what an emoticon was.

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    What's really laughable is just how much of the stuff in DA Buzz is completely irrelevant today. We all know what happened to the Sega Channel, don't we? (Also, did those brimless baseball caps ever catch on? I never saw anyone wearing one.)

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    Not only was "Bonkers" still on the air, it was still in syndication. Sigh...

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    For the ultimate in pop culture irrelevance, we have Ticket. What I like about this section is that the editors always made it look like one big advertisement. I can't imagine anyone honestly getting enthusiastic over a movie where Luke Perry rides bulls for a living.

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    Look how optimistic they are over Shaquille O'Neal's acting career. Keep in mind that Kazaam didn't come along until two years later. Also, I can verify that Inner Circle were not around for very la la la la long.
    Can you imagine what the casting call for My Girl 2 was like? "Well, we can't bring Macaulay Culkin back! Get that kid from The Last Action Hero! He's box office boffo, I tell ya!" (And what kind of name is Anna Chlumsky? As Tom Servo once said, "That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand.")

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    Even though Dean Cain was on the cover, the actual interview with him is only two pages long. There's a metaphor here, I'm sure.

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    However, the superhero theme continues into the winners of the 1994 Disney Adventures Superhero Contest. What criteria did they use to select the winner? A random number generator? Games, Scorch, and Anya all seem like they'd be ten times cooler than Metamorphon.

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    And this proves it.

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    The real draw in this issue is the super-secret White House tour, which spans an amazing 12 pages (and was way too much for me to scan). It concludes with this letter to the DA readers, written by Bill Clinton himself. Nice headshot, by the way.

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    Here's your guide to the 1994 Winter Olympics - oh wait, they happened in February. Never mind. Looks like Michelle Kwan's career was already taking off, but I'm more interested in the exploits of Lloyd Eisle and Isabelle Brasseur. Dear God, what's he doing to that poor woman?

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    The White House festivities extend into the Comics Zone this month, as cartoonist Russ Cooper does a couple of one-page gags about Bill Clinton's cat Socks. For some reason, Socks jokes were everywhere in late '93/early '94 - I remember Nickelodeon Magazine loved them too.

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    There's a Darkwing Duck comic in here too, but it's the second half of a two-parter and I don't have the February 1994 issue, so I'm completely lost. This wasn't the only comic appearance of Fluffy, though I'm pretty sure he never appeared on the show itself.

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    Maybe if I'd read part one, this part would make more sense. Oh, and we never see how the Liquidator becomes de-clouded - the story ends with only Megavolt and Bushroot being captured, while Fluffy turns himself in because he's bored with being the king to a fleet of cats that don't listen to him.

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    This was one of several of William Van Horn's Nervous Rex stories that was included in DA around this time. All I remember is that I thought Rex was a Disney property and wondered why I couldn't find his show on TV.

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    I'll admit it - that bee scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.

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    As you can see from the back cover, Aladdin was still profitable enough by 1994 that they could release a video game for the Super Nintendo, even though the movie came out two years prior. Of course, this was all a warm-up for The Return of Jafar, which came a few months later, and we all know what became of that.
     
    #1 J. B. Warner, Dec 30, 2008
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  2. Peter Paltridge

    Peter Paltridge Knows about rock people
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    What struck me about that issue's "Ins and Outs" page was that the kids listed "The Boxcar Children" as uncool and they were from Greenfield, Massachusetts -- the same area the series took place in.

    That "Metamorphon" comic was embarrassing, even more so since they hired famous "Superman" artist Curt Swan to draw it (and I guess they could only afford 3 pages on his terms). I at least thought it was interesting Metamorphon starts out happily married. Usually superheroes begin single and their true love is established through years of plotlines and fan demand. Of course this is just some kid's creation that was going nowhere and I'm thinking too much about it.

    I really, really home that kid didn't come up with the name "Danievis the Destroyer."

    William Van Horn is best known for his Donald Duck comics. He first published a "Nervous Rex" comic in the early 80's, and he resurrected the character for DA.

    Culkin wasn't available for the second "My Girl" because he DIED in the first one. Oops!
     
  3. Mini Garbonzo

    Mini Garbonzo Do you like my eyes?!?!

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    "...A Barrel of Abu's"?

    "Groovy" article J. B. Warner, who knew that looking back into old magazines could be so entertaining. I see that Disney was trying to rule out the competition with that "out" side, sure it was an interview for 5th graders, but I don't think they ever put a Disney movie or TV show on that "dreaded" side of the list.

    "Gravityman, A real Heavyweight Hero" :shrug: . Even the kids back then gave terrible puns for their superheroes...
     
  4. All Star Blitz

    All Star Blitz What the heck am I doing?

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    "Marsupilami" fan art? I've seen Rule 34 of him. :p Somehow I knew that spotted yellow — whatever the heck he is — would show up in a thread like this. And to that I say, "Houba!".

    Seriously, though, nice work all around. I've seen Russ Cooper's name in Mad a lot, but 99% of the time it's a writer's credit. Interesting to see him with a drawing credit.

    I'd like to take over for March 1995 if you don't mind. That issue's right in front of me, I just snapped it up at St. Vincent dePaul.
     
  5. Mini Garbonzo

    Mini Garbonzo Do you like my eyes?!?!

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    I don't think it was that, they could have easily resurected him, maybe Culkin was just busy spending time with his ex-convict Dad, becoming the richest kid ever, or reading a book.........ALL AT THE SAME TIME. :eek:
     
  6. ToOn~g@l

    ToOn~g@l Just singin' the blues

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    Wow I totally remember this issue. I used to have a lot of issues of this magazine just sitting in the closet, and I would read them whenever I was bored. Mom felt they were taking too much space though when we had to move and threw them away. :(
     
  7. J. B. Warner

    J. B. Warner Increasing my wordiness

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    Oh yeah. Dur-hey... (And I saw the Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Saddest Moments, so you'd think I'd remember that.)

    Actually, that was going to be my next one (the one with Shaquille O'Neal and Goofy on the cover), but you can take it if you want. I've got tons of these things.
     
  8. Mini Garbonzo

    Mini Garbonzo Do you like my eyes?!?!

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    I'm looking forward to that issue, anything with Shaq in it ought to be entertaining (except for every movie he's acted in, his music, and the dreadful Shaq Fu).
     
  9. All Star Blitz

    All Star Blitz What the heck am I doing?

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    The Disney Adventures Archive — March 1995

    Okay, here we go. March 1995 DA. Because it was handy and JB said I could. (Note: For some reason, this seems to be choking on the Photobucket links and not putting the image in the article itself, even though it showed up fine in preview mode. Can someone fix?)

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    This is the cover. I don't like peeling stickers, so you can see how much I paid for this (20% of the original cover price, not bad). My scanner hated this cover, too; that sticker is actually orange.

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    DA Buzz page. I've never even heard of the TV show "Martin", nor do I remember Nautica ever being popular. Starter, definitely. I hated sports and I still had a Starter jacket. Charlotte Hornets was especially popular… or at least in northern Michigan.

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    I've said it before. Anything with a marsupial or monotreme is full of win, and the DA 'roo is no exception. (Please tell me this girl still draws.) They so should've used him more, never mind that he's clearly a hermahprodite. Furthermore, I wonder if that DS9 part was actually won?

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    My birthday is March 10, and so is Shannon Miller's. Wait, who's she? Oh, a gymnast. No wonder. (It's also Carrie Underwood's birthday. And Osama bin Laden's.) For what it's worth, I always loved these trippy calendars in DA.

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    Please tell me someone's seen this. It sounds so very, very bad in a laughable way.

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    Left: I see blurb mentioning Gordy, yet somehow ignoring the lead role played by singer Doug Stone. But then again, in 1995, I was probably the only person in DA's demographic who knew who Doug Stone even was.

    Right: I love Simba's expression here.

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    Another double shot.

    Left: Nathan who, now? Camp what? There were tween-pop singers before the boy band craze? This I did not know

    Right: The other half of the Lion King ad you just saw a page back (it took up two right-side pages). I seem to remember skipping over this ad in other DAs just because I hated "Hakuna Matata" (still do).

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    Part of the main article, a very, very long interview with Shaq. That cut & paste art of him is ugly with a capital U, and that's all I'll say since I don't care much for basketball.

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    I never understood the whole "AOL Keyword" thing. But back then, the Internet was new, see, and people actually needed instructions on how to get there.

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    Weird Yet True: It's like those little factoids they print at the bottom of Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. In fact, I think I've seen all of these in a Bathroom Reader. You don't suppose Uncle John grew up on DA?

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    Start of a Bonkers comic (which I'll scan the rest of if you ask nicely). This follows a great looking but otherwise unremarkable Evan Dorkin comic, and a TL;DR Aladdin comic. For some reason, I just like tongue gags.

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    Darkwing Duck quickie. Honest to God, I haven't seen one second of Darkwing Duck in my life. Disney was just never a priority for me, and I'm still hating myself for that big time.

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    Oh, please. It took two writers to come up with a comic based on that old saw?

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    Weird, I don't remember Garfield having a ravioli line. And I've been a Garfield fanatic since I could read.

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    This may be the hardest puzzle I've ever seen in DA. I've looked at this until my eyes bled and still can't figure it out even with the answer key. Other than that, yes, that signature is Bob Staake, whose work I've seen in other DA issues, as well as in Mad, and I'm pretty sure he did some work on Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, etc.

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    Wow, Skittles has been using "Taste the rainbow" that long now, eh? And they once made tropical and wild berry flavors? This I did not know.
     
  10. Mini Garbonzo

    Mini Garbonzo Do you like my eyes?!?!

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    All I know about that special is that it was a remake of a Disney film made in 1969 of the same name, and that The Simpsons made a refrence to it in one of their episode titles.

    Pretty good overlook on the magazine, turns out Shaq wasn't as intresting as I thought he was going to be, oh well, I'm pretty sure those "kids" that were "rapping" with Shaq will reappear in my nightmares.
     
  11. Peter Paltridge

    Peter Paltridge Knows about rock people
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    Never heard of Martin? How young are you?

    Not only did it take two writers to come up with that old joke, they used it TWICE. This same thing, only redrawn, appeared in Marvel's "The Disney Afternoon" comic book.

    I remember the ad for it. Jon and Odie were going to surprise Garfield with a year's supply of the product, but Garfield ate the whole batch while their backs were turned. He's fast.

    I'll try not to spoil the ending too much, but it's a little confusing. I eventually figured out it was spoofing the scene where the Nazis open the Lost Ark, but it wasn't organized very well.

    What does TL;DR stand for? This is the one where Aladdin retrieves a monkey statue for some guy, right?

    I also merged the two DA threads; from now on anyone can contribute a DA to this one topic. That sounds more fun and less cluttered.
     
  12. All Star Blitz

    All Star Blitz What the heck am I doing?

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    21. (22 on 3/10.) I totally gave up on FOX by 1993 (stupid, stupid, stupid) and just never came back. Also, TL;DR means "Too long; didn't read". Yes, you're right about the Aladdin comic.

    Oh, and guess who's not seen any of the Indiana Jones movies?
     
    #12 All Star Blitz, Dec 30, 2008
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  13. Mini Garbonzo

    Mini Garbonzo Do you like my eyes?!?!

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    Sadly, I never really collected magazines, and even if I could find one, it's probably too current for me to enter it into this thread. :sad: Oh well, it'll still be fun to read all of the overviews from everyone else.
     
  14. J. B. Warner

    J. B. Warner Increasing my wordiness

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    To be honest, the Aladdin comics never really interested me either, especially since they usually went for the dramatic route (when they didn't focus on Genie or Iago, anyway).

    What surprised me about the March '95 issue is that they announced the winner of the mascot contest...and then never used the winning character again. Which is a shame, 'cause Pockets is actually really cool.

    I agree that the cut-and-paste illustrations are ugly, but there's nothing you could do about 'em - DA used that style for most of 1995, and I always hated it.

    That Negaduck gag was one of my favorite Comics Zone quickies ever. I remember another decent one from June or July of 1994 where he's in a never-ending game of Go Fish with Tuskernini, and he splutters "If we're ever gonna finish this stupid game, one of us has got to stop cheating!"

    There's one other thing in the March '95 issue that I think is worth mentioning - the final part of the Kid Blastoff trilogy. I wasn't all that captivated by the story, but the artwork really wowed me. Also, at the time, I thought Lucy was kind of cute.
     
  15. Peter Paltridge

    Peter Paltridge Knows about rock people
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    Well, I'm the opposite.....I thought the dramatic ones were great and the funny ones didn't work. "Junior Disaster," the one where Genie gets sent back in time and his original owner enslaves him again, was so good I'm still convinced it was intended for the TV show but didn't make it.

    Part one ends with the guy making Genie completely forget about his life and believe he is his slave. He then finds Aladdin and Jasmine watching him, points at them and yells to Genie "DESTROY THEM!!"

    That was the "Mr. Worf, fire" event of DA.
     
  16. All Star Blitz

    All Star Blitz What the heck am I doing?

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    I don't get the gag. Maybe I need to familiarize myself with Darkwing Duck?

    I didn't mention it much because the faces creeped me out, and the story was meh.
     
  17. Darklordavaitor

    Darklordavaitor Moderator
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    Oh no, please tell me that they didn't remake a Kurt Rusell classic with Kirk Cameron. Nothing against him, but the original IMO is one of Disney's better post-Walt releases.

    And now I have to look that up...

    Great articles, guys. I have a couple of older mags around here even before my subscription period from 1999-2002, but I have no camera. Can't wait to see what else you have to say.
     
  18. All Star Blitz

    All Star Blitz What the heck am I doing?

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    Kurt who? Kirk who?

    Seriously, though, I've got one somewhere from 1997ish that lists a bunch of cartoons that came out that year or thereabouts, ranging from Disney stuff like Pepper Ann and Brand Spankin' New Doug: It's Like the Original, Only Not Funny or Charming in Any Way, as well as CatDog and… a bunch of stuff I never heard of because I didn't get Disney Channel or Cartoon Network until about 7 years ago, and even then I largely ignored Disney Channel.
     
  19. HomeMoviesFan

    HomeMoviesFan I have a nemesis!

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    The Nickelodeon cartoon?! Huh.

    These are incredibly entertaining bits of nostalgia. The DA collectors should band together and make them articles for TGWTG.com...
     
  20. Peter Paltridge

    Peter Paltridge Knows about rock people
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    You know what I, myself, REALLY need to scan? The Bobby Hill School Survival Guide. I think it was written by the people who wrote the series, because it was just as clever.

    No one take that one yet.
     
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