Sorta New: The Big Fanfic-y Show!

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Anthonynotes, May 6, 2001.

  1. Anthonynotes

    Anthonynotes Active Member

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    While I wait for "Spaced Out Warners" to get transferred over, thought I'd post this: stuff written via AOL IM over the months by me, James, & Romey. All in the format of our favorite departed cartoon chop-job show/title parody source: The Cat and Bunny Motor Speedway Indy 500 Big Easily Entertained Hoosiers Show...er...or whatever...enjoy! :)
    ---


    [We see rolling the opening credits to the Cat and Bunny AOL-y 486-PC Big Low Baud Modem Speed Show, complete with the usual stock footage of Brain being run down by a whizzing pinball, Pinky sitting around laughing, Yakko and Wakko holding crudely-spliced-in "cheese and pepperoni" pizzas, etc. Finally, we cut to the opening scene, featuring everyone's favorite TBCS hosts, Karen and Kirby, seated inside of a movie theater...]

    KAREN: Welcome, everyone, to this very special edition of the Big Cartoonie Show! Tonight, we'll be presenting a very special series of unused plot material for fanfic stories!

    KIRBY: Yes...you see, we were asked by the head honchos to make this special episode, to air during those dull, long summer months that'd ordinarily be filled with reruns, reality shows, Regis Philbin, and the like...and we're *not* doing this just because we *desperately* need the money, or because the head gurus need to make back the bucks they blew on that CGI pinball machine opening title sequence, *or* because our careers have burned out faster than Lou Bega's... (Karen jabs Kirby in the side, shutting him up)

    KAREN: (Sternly whispering) *Ix-nay on our areers-cay*... (In normal voice) And we'll be having very special guests during this episode of the Big Cartoonie Show....so sit back, relax, and *enjoy*! Our first clip centers around the "Pinky and the Brain" episode "Two Mice and a Baby"---namely, to resolve the issue of how Brain could've been using a personal computer if the Man of Steel landed on Earth around 30 years in the past, well before they were envisioned for home use... (shakes her head) Who *writes* this stuff?!

    KIRBY: (Muching on popcorn) Or for *that* matter, *who cares*?! I mean, this sounds like it's going to be *so nerdy*, I'd rather change the channel to something else instead of sit through this---(realizes what he's saying) er, what I mean is, "don't touch that dial"! Heh, heh...

    KAREN: (Slaps her face) Just roll the clip... (the theater darkens, and the clip's about to roll) May I have a *word* with you, Mr. Kirby? (Drags him off-screen as the clip begins...we see a title card read: "'PC or Not PC' by Romey & Brainatra")

    [We see a caption at the bottom of the screen reading "30 years ago", when this takes place, and fade in on ACME Labs, where we see Brain is excited about something---he's standing over something that resembles one of those old one piece PC's with a built-in keyboard...]

    BRAIN: Behold! The "Brain-iac 5000"! The most powerful computing tool, the likes of which the world has never *seen*...powered by the blazing might of over 2 *kilobytes* of RAM!

    PINKY: Oooooh!

    BILLIE: *Two* kilobytes?! (Breaks down laughing, laughing so hard that soon Pinky begins laughing as well, for no good reason; they both fall backwards. Brain looks at them sternly)

    BILLIE: (Finally getting up) Sorry, Eggy.... (giggles some more) It's just that----

    PINKY: *Two kilobytes*...HAHAHAHA! (Falls over laughing again, as does Billie....)

    BRAIN: *AHEM*?! (The two get back up)

    BILLIE: Sorry, Eggy...(wipes a tear from her eye) but, well, it's just that I could build a better computer than that...with at least a *billion* times the amount of RAM!

    BRAIN: Please Billie...no one needs *that* much computing power! This is all anyone would need!

    BILLIE: But it'd be hard to hook up to a worldwide network of computers and access all sorts of information and...and...um, Eggy, why are you staring at me like that?

    BRAIN: Nonsense! There's no future in networking, let alone global networking! Besides, what's would people do on such a network anyway?

    BILLIE: (Filing her nails) Uh...I dunno...waste time discussing TV programs?

    BRAIN: Ridiculous... next thing, you'll be saying they'd find a way to pirate music over it...

    BILLIE: Hmm...well, with the right program, perhaps music could be digitized, and stored on these computers, and....(begins scrawling on a piece of paper)

    BRAIN: Please...as if anything would replace the LP..and within our own *lifetimes* no less! (holds up an LP cover) As if the dulcet tones of Gladys Squire's soulful rendition of "Midday Bus to Macon" could ever be rendered into some cold, digitized format---(sees Billie's still scrawling) forget those infernal calculations... it would take at least 61,440 kilobytes per minute of data to store an accurate digital copy of a given song...

    BILLIE: *Please*...I could develop some way to, I dunno, compress it maybe to a smaller size...?

    BRAIN: Bah... even if you achieved a 10:1 compression ratio, you'd still be dealing with over 1024 kilobytes per minute... that kind of storage would require a computer bigger than this entire lab!

    BILLIE: Not with *my* computer designs...this "Brain-iac" of yours looks like it could barely operate as a simple...calculation device...

    BRAIN: A *calculator*?! Please...

    PINKY: Ooh, ooh I know! I know! What if you had a computer that could... umm... make its own reality, POIT!

    BRAIN: Don't make me hurt you, Pinky...

    BILLIE: A *virtual* sort of reality?

    BRAIN: No more realistic than the one *both* of you seem to exist in already...I mean, what intelligent person would want to spend their time discussing some insipid television program over a glorified *typewriter*?!

    BILLIE: Well, if they were really big fans, and had watched those episodes a lot...of course, it'd be easier to have some sort of device to rewatch old episodes on at will so one *could* make observations...hmm...

    BRAIN: I can't believe what I'm hearing... I create the most powerful computer a person could ever need, and you two are off dreaming up ridiculous uses for some device that could never physically exist...

    BILLIE: Well, television stations use video reel recording equipment...maybe if there was a way of getting it miniaturized, and into every home....

    BILLIE: And your "powerful computer" still looks like it's not even powerful enough to balance a checkbook...

    BRAIN: (Flatly) Never an ounce of appreciation or respect...

    BILLIE: Aw, don't take it personally, Eggy...I'm just offering a few suggestions...want me to help boost it in power a bit? If I could find some more memory for it...though it *is* rather expensive...and hard to find...

    BRAIN: Find more memory? Isn't it sufficient to hardwire it to the rest of the system?

    BILLIE: (Blankly stares before speaking) You're *kidding*, right? How could you boost its power without modular add-on memory units? Hardwiring it renders the whole *thing* unusable if you need more power...

    BRAIN: As I was saying... it already has more than enough power! No sane person could ever want or need more!

    PINKY: Oooh, well, it *could* use a bit more...I bet it could store recipes, NARF!

    BRAIN: As I was saying, no *sane* person...

    BILLIE: Hmph...well, if you don't need me to upgrade it, I'll just build my own...

    BRAIN: Fine...

    BILLIE: (Under her breath) Thinks he can take over the world in one night, but doesn't have the forsight to see beyond the next day...

    BRAIN: I *heard* that! And mark my words, the "Brain-iac" is powerful enough to appease the general public, and allow me to take over the *world*!

    BILLIE: Sure, Eggy...(off-screen) Now where did we put that extra electronics equipment?

    BRAIN: (Chuckles) Indeed... (turns to his "powerful" computer; types) Time for a test of this powerful, mighty tool... (types) "10: Hello World....20: GOTO 10....30 RUN" (Hits return; glares at screen) "SYNTAX ERROR"?!? What the---?!?

    BILLIE: (Walks over) Umm... is that supposed to happen, Eggy?

    BRAIN: (Glares at Billie) Um....of course! A handy, easy-to-understand error message! (Tries typing some more, then looks even more irate at the screen)

    BILLIE: Is "core dump" a handy, helpful message as well?

    BRAIN: (Sternly) Don't you have a computer of your *own* to build?!

    BILLIE: I'm workin', I'm workin'... have some patience.

    BRAIN: Indeed... (turns back to his machine) Hmm....(frowns) Hmph...(looks even more annoyed as he types, before growing frustrated) Perhaps it needs an additional external information input device..like a cassette recorder...

    (Sounds of Billie laughing from off-screen, followed by saying "a *cassette recorder*?!?")

    BRAIN: YES!!!

    BILLIE: Le'me guess... you'll call it a 'DAT' tape, and try to use it to beat me at the game of digital music?

    BRAIN: ER, no...I was going to use a tape player/recorder as a means to store information on, and input that into the mighty Brain-iac 5000!

    BILLIE: Kind of a slow means of recording information, isn't it? Sure, it'd store a lot of info, but accessing it would be a pain in the neck. Of course, since you're insistent on your (mocks Brain's voice/makes fingers into "quote marks") "powerful 2 K of RAM", I guess it's a moot point.

    BRAIN: (Silent for a moment, before responding) I believe some spare electornics parts are in that drawer over there....

    BILLIE: Thanks! (Exits; Brain goes back to his computer)

    BRAIN: (Thinking) Hmm... now that she mentions it... how would I access said data from the tape? (Out loud) I suppose I could yank out the keyboard and plug the tape player in place...

    BILLIE: (Off-screen) That thing only has *one* input port, and it's just for the keyboard?! *Tsk, tsk*....

    BRAIN: What does *that* mean?

    BILLIE: Oh, nothing...you'll have to see *my* computer when it's done! (Giggles; Brain shakes his head in disgust)

    BRAIN: Next she'll have Pinky designing the OS...

    PINKY: (Off-screen) Oooh, I think you should be able to use lots of little pictures to stand for things! NARF! And make the pictures look like folders and notepads and all our other stationery! HAHAHA!

    BILLIE: (Off-screen) Oh, good idea, Pinky! That, and an alternate option of a command-line interface thrown in ought to make this thing done in no time!

    BRAIN: It won't be *soon* enough, if she keeps bothering me...(types some more)

    PINKY: Oh, oh! And maybe you could have it so you hit the "START" button to shut it down! Ha ha, NARF!

    BRAIN: Aren't you done *yet*? With the speed at which you design these type of things....

    BILLIE: Patience, remember? Besides, this is kinda fun!

    BRAIN: Um, yes *fun*...and allowing the path to *world domination*! (Pan over to see Brain's growing annoyed) Hmph....

    (Fanfic Montage Sequence...shots of Pinky giggling at Billie's computer screen, Billie typing away at a mouse-sized keyboard, and Brain clawing his hair at his screen....finally, we cut back to Brain, who looks elated)

    BRAIN: YES! I've done it! (Proudly) Billie, Pinky...I've managed to make the screen change *colors* intermittently!

    PINKY: (Heard in the distance) Wha ha ha haaa! Get the rocket launcher! No wait, behind you! Run!

    BILLIE: I see him! I see him! Woo hoo, I got the quad-damage! Pinks, your health is running kinda low! ...oh, I love network gaming!

    BRAIN: *NETWORK* gaming?!? Who in the Sam Hill are you *playing* against?!

    BILLIE: These computer programmers at MIT! Just sent them a copy of this game I wrote by electronic mail, and they did the rest!

    BRAIN: "Electronic mail"?! What th---(walks over to see Billie's computer, and we see it resembles a typical modern-day PC, complete with a printer and scanner...a phone line leads out from the back of it)

    BILLIE: (Glances at Brain, pauses, blinks) What?

    BRAIN: Billie...this thing's...how...?

    BILLIE: (Shrugs) Once Pinky and I got the basic specs down, the rest was a snap! Um...so, how's your computer comin' along?

    BRAIN: Well, it... (Proudly) can display eight colors simultaneously! Just how many can yours display? Hmm?

    BILLIE: Umm... we gave up counting them once we hit 32-bit color.

    BRAIN: *32* bits just for *color*?! Why do you need *that* much horsepower?!?

    BILLIE: To play a digitized version of John Denver's latest single? (Clicks the mouse, and one of his songs begin playing)

    PINKY: To play really neat games with women with Big Futuristic-Type Guns? NARF! HAHAHAHA!

    BRAIN: You'd waste all that power on mere games?!

    BILLIE: Of course *not*...we also digitized the "Theme From Shaft", wrote a multiple page document on the rising price of gas, electronically mailed this game copy to those students at MIT, planned out the lab's budget for the next 10 years, *and* stored some recipes! Plus, we're gonna scan in some pictures of Pinky later on!

    BRAIN: (Flabbergasted) Wha..."scan"...the...?!? (Grows self-confident again) Well, I can assure you that my computer's *still* capable of...of...

    BILLIE: Collecting dust?

    BRAIN: (Annoyed) *No*...it does a task more *important* than such a stationary function...

    BILLIE: Calculating the vectors of every atom in a hurricane, to predict the weather and save lives?

    BRAIN: Er...(discretely jots what she said down on a piece of paper) Of course! In *time*....but it's main task will be to aid me *take over the world*!

    BILLIE: How? By giving people a seizure with changing screen colors? (Giggles)

    BRAIN: Noooo... although that does sound oddly familiar, somehow...

    BILLIE: Actually, it *does*....and rather *icky*, for some reason...still, I don't see how your computer can compete against *mine*....

    BRAIN: Hmph...you're *on*! My machine of might and power against your frivolous, glorified game-playing device!

    BILLIE: Which benchmark test would you like to try? I devised a handfull while programming this thing... I also took a peak at your hardware, and built a program which can emulate your entire machine at 100x it's original speed... would you like to test with that one?

    BRAIN: "Benchmark tests"?!? (Shakes his head) Wait---just *when* were you "taking a peek" at my hardware?!

    BILLIE: When you were trying to record your manifesto on that tape recorder to plug into your "Brain-iac 5000"...

    BRAIN: *Indeed*...very well, then, we'll have Pinky give us both a task and try to see whose computer does the best job in solving it! Name a task, Pinky....

    PINKY: Umm... render a pretty scene of hills and mountains, shrouded in mist, set in front of a lovely sunset with sparkly rays of light shining between the foothills? POIT?

    BRAIN: Ha! A simple enough task....

    BILLIE: I dunno...I've seen boxes of *crayons* with more color choices than your thing has...

    BRAIN: ENOUGH! I shall render a computerized piece of scenery lovely enough to put in a museum!

    BILLIE: Ah-ha... but at what resolution? 2 by 2? Ha ha, natch!

    BRAIN: Just you *wait*... let's go! (Fast forward 10 minutes)

    BILLIE: Done! And at a 1024x768 resolution, with *48*-bit color!

    PINKY: Oooh, you even drew a little baby deer! Aww...

    BILLIE: Got the image from those MIT engineers...they're experimenting with buiding one of those home video playback units I suggested in that same electronic mail message, and decided to use a copy of "Bumpee, the Dearest Deer"...once they inputted it into their computers, and sent me a copy, I just edited the image, and....hm...say, Eggy, how's *your* image coming along?

    BRAIN: Still waiting on the first pixel... but when it's done, it will surely out-do yours!

    BILLIE: The first *pixel*?!?

    PINKY: Um...do you need help?

    BRAIN: *No*...

    (Twenty minutes later...we see Brain's finally finished his image)

    PINKY: (Squinting) Umm... what is it a picture of, again?

    BRAIN: (Exasperated) It's a mountain scene! That's a waterfall...and that's a tree...

    BILLIE: Looks more like a big green rectangle next to a big blue rectangle...

    BRAIN: (Nervous) Er...it's... abstract art! *YES*!

    BILLIE: *Right*. Eggy, it can't even draw a picture befitting a *three* year old...how's it going to help you take over the world? There's no way to input anything without yanking out the keyboard, there's no way it can transmit anything without taking a power drill and punching a few holes in the back to run some cables into, there's no way to print images or anything....it couldn't even print that stupid "hello world" test message! What good is this thing?

    BRAIN: (Annoyed) Hmph... well can yours... can yours...

    BILLIE: (Slightly taunting) Anything yours can do... if it could do *anything* ...and better.

    PINKY: Brain, it's OK...besides, Billie's computer is really *nice*! Besides, we could always use your computer as...um...

    BILLIE: A *doorstop*? (Giggles)

    BRAIN: I don't get it... how can yours possibly do any of the things it's doing?!

    BILLIE: Um....more horsepower? Not using the power equivalent of a three-watt lightbulb? Though I'd say it most likely has something to do with the extra RAM it has. Face it, Eggy...LED displays have more power than the "Brain-iac 5000" has; 2 K just ain't cuttin' it.

    BRAIN: How much *do* you have?!

    BILLIE: Uhh... 256 megs, easy. And that's not counting the L1 and L2 caches, and high speed registers built into the processor.

    BRAIN: (Astonished) *Caches*?! *256*?!? Good *lord*, that's...

    PINKY: Um, a lot, POIT?

    BRAIN: (Pouts)

    BILLIE: C'mon, Eggy...just say it...it's OK..

    BRAIN: Oh..*FINE*! Your computer's actually....higher powered. (Cringes)

    BILLIE: Aw, thanks, Eggy! I'll even let you use it sometime....after I'm done! (Giggles)

    PINKY: Yeah, we're planning to upgrade, starting tomorrow! POIT!

    BRAIN: *UPGRADE*?!?

    BILLIE: What can I say? The technology goes outdated so *quickly*...

    BRAIN: (Shakes his head, he walks back to his computer, and glares at it....cut to moments later, as we see Billie and Pinky in front of their computer, laughing intermittently...we see Brain walk back over to the mice)

    BILLIE: Hey, Eggy....we're about to watch the recorded-off-the-TV-and-then-digitized version of last night's "Mary Tyler Moore" episode! Care to join us?

    BRAIN: (Sullen) *No*.

    PINKY: Say, having fun with your computer, Brain?

    BILLIE: Um...where *is* your computer, Eggy?

    BRAIN: (Nervous) Er, well...

    BILLIE: C'mon, you didn't get rid of it did you? It was a learning experience, wasn't it?

    BRAIN: *What* learning experience?! All I learned was that I've been humiliated by someone without world-domination desires yet again...

    PINKY: That, and how you should put more colors in your next computer, POIT!

    BILLIE: You could have swallowed your pride and joined us...

    BRAIN: Maybe, but I still think my efforts weren't *completely* ungrounded!

    BILLIE: No, but *ours* are....see the grounded cords? (Points at the computer's three-pronged cords)

    BRAIN: (Growls) Hrmph....I can see I'm not appreciated here....I have half a mind to get my "Brain-iac 5000" out of...er...um...

    BILLIE: Out of *where*, Eggy?

    BRAIN: Umm... never you mind. I'll be back shortly...

    [We see Brain race off...we hear what sounds like a garbage can lid being pushed off, followed by clanging noises]

    BILLIE: Um...Eggy?

    BRAIN: (Off-screen) Just a minute!

    PINKY: What do you suppose he's up to?

    BILLIE: Fishing out from the trash the remains of his computer, I suppose... hmm... do you think we maybe went too hard on him?

    PINKY: Well, he did seem kinda upset...(gasps) Maybe we could help him update it?

    BILLIE: "Upgrade", Pinky...but I dunno; he still seems full of pride over the whole thing....

    [Brain returns, with his computer...or what's left of it; wires are sprawling from the loosened back, with a few keys' springs popped up...Brain sheepishly grins]

    [The clip ends here...cut to the theater with Karen and Kirby, now looking decidedly bored...]

    KAREN: Kirby, I guess you were right---this *was* a waste of time. *And* *beyond* nerdy... I mean, "digital compression"?! I could've written more amusing dialogue than *that*!

    KIRBY: Yeah.... (reads a paper) And we'll be right back, after *this*...

    [Commercials pushing "reruns of reruns" of "Batman Beyond" and Pokemon: Whatever-the-current-batch-of-episodes'-are-subtitled play...then, cut back to the brief bumper for the Cat and Bunny "Louie Louie" Golden Oldie Big Bopper Show...]

    KAREN: Welcome back, all! The next clip features the mice again, in a contest of further intellectual contesting, also an "unfinished" story. Apparently Brain and Billie, after hearing about the Legion of Superheroes all owning rings allowing them to fly, decide to match wits and invent flight rings of their own! (Shakes her head) Who comes up with this stuff?!

    KIRBY: Not me...if it were me, I'd write a story with those mice *getting their groove on*! (Does disco dancing)

    KAREN: Um....didn't see "Saturday Morning Fever", did we?

    KIRBY: (Still dancing) Sorry, babe, I only fake bein' sick on weekdays to get outta school...

    KAREN: (Sighs) *Never mind*... just roll the cartoon...

    [The clip begins....as we open on ACME Labs, we see the mice are embroiled in an argument over whether an antigravity-generating "flight ring" is a technical feasibility]

    BILLIE: Well, Eggy, I'll prove to you it *is* possible and *invent* a "flight" ring! (Grabs a piece of paper and a small hunk of charcoal) OK, lessee...um...gee, this is gonna be tougher than makin' that hypervelocity suit...and *that* took only one dull Sunday evening full 'a reruns and sports highlights!

    BRAIN: *Sigh*...even *you* can't invent something like an antigravitational ring in a narrow span of time...though *I*, on the other hand....*ahem*... [raises an eyebrow]

    BILLIE: Knowing you, it would backfire and *triple* gravity for the person wearing it...

    BRAIN: HA! Please...any simpleton could ensure that increasing such gravitational effect in such a way could be easily avoided... [Glances at Pinky, who's banging his head with a spoon] Well, *almost* any simpleton...besides, I've made far more inventions than *you* have---surely creating such a ring should be child's play!

    BILLIE: You may have more inventions under your belt than myself, but so far 100% of mine have worked, and I've yet to see *one* invention of yours accomplish your goal of world conquest for you...

    BRAIN: [Winces at this remark] Don't start with me, Billie...besides, it's only a matter of *time* before such an invention achieves that goal...besides, all of my inventions *have* worked...it's just that *circumstances* conspire to their not having the desired world-conquering effect...

    PINKY: [Walking over, partially hearing Billie's "under your belt" remark] Um, actually, Brain, we don't *wear* belts...or *clothes*. HAHAHA! (Brain rolls his eyes)

    BILLIE: Just wait, Eggy... I'll have a fully functional anti-grav ring built in no time.

    BRAIN: Hmm...if you wish to match your brain against my mental brawn, very well...I, *too* shall attempt to construct such a ring...

    BILLIE: YEah, "attempt" is right...[Grabs the still-giggling Pinky] C'mon, Pinky...we've got a flight ring ta build!

    BRAIN: So do *I*..besides, I still have to formulate another plan to take over the world...this *may* prove to be quite valuable...[Glances over to the two other mice, seeing they're engrossed in "Legion of Super-Heroes" comics for "research"] This'll be child's play...

    [Cut to *much* later...we see both geniuses look *very* exhausted...as does Pinky...]

    BILLIE: Gee, this was harder than it *looks*...wonder how "Mr. Inventor"'s makin' out...

    BRAIN: Don't bother checking on me... the polarity seems to be reversed, but I'll have that fixed shortly!

    BILLIE: Ha!

    BILLIE: I *knew* this wasn't gonna be easy for you!

    BRAIN: [Wiping his brow] Oh, *really*? How are *you* making out?

    BILLIE: Oh, I'm...um...uh....doing....*fine*, really *fine*! Right, Pinky?

    [Pan over to see that Pinky's reading through an old Legion comic, and giggling...]

    PINKY: *WAHAHAHA*! This guy almost has the same name as Brain! *NARF*! (Points to a picture of Legionnaire member "Brainiac 5"]

    BRAIN: Oooh, yes, *lots* of progress *there*...

    BILLIE: Still, I doubt you'll beat me any time soon...

    [Billie runs back to her side of the lab, and gets back to work...]

    BRAIN: It'll take more than comic book pseudoscience to succeed...this is *reality*! And soon, this *flight ring* will be a reality! *YES*!

    [Cut to a Fanfic Montage....the usual stuff: Pinky laughing at old comics/TV, Billie wiping her brow, Brain drinking water, the clock's hands winding forward...soon,though, both mice shout "Eureka" at once...]

    BILLIE: Hey Eggy! I've got it! Take *that*!

    BRAIN: And you may promptly take it back! *I* have succeeded first!

    BILLIE: Have not, I finished first!

    BRAIN: Come over here, and we'll see about that!

    BILLIE: *Fine*!

    [We see Billie enter, wielding on her fist a gold-colored ring...]

    BILLIE: DiDn't have time to paint it silver, but here it is! *Ta-da*!

    BRAIN: And I, too, have such a ring! [Flashes his finger, showing his hand] Now, let's test it out!

    PINKY: [Walking over to Brain] Multiple choice?

    BRAIN: Normally I'd have to hurt you, Pinky...but no time! I have to show Billie what *my* genius is capable of!

    (Billie rests her hands behind her head, and hovers in circles around Brain, much to his annoyance)

    BILLIE: And what kind capability might *that* be, Eggy? Hmm...?

    BRAIN: [Briefly flashes a bit of surprise, then goes back to a smug look] *THIS*!

    [Brain leaps off the edge of the counter, and begins to hover...Brain shouts, "YES!]

    PINKY: See, Billie? It *didn't* start increasing its gravitational pull-thingy like you thought it would, *NARF*! Um, whatever *that* is...

    BILLIE: [Rolling her eyes] Well, I guess I gotta admit, Eggy *did* pull it off after all...

    BRAIN: Yes, but since my own genius behind it, mine is surely superior to yours...

    BILLIE: Is that so?! We'll just see...

    [Billie begins flying about the room, and zooms down on Brain like a dive bomber....Brain zips out of the way, and begins flying around the lab...we hear "dramatic" music a la Superman:TAS...pan over to see that Pinky's turned on this very show on the TV. He quickly turns it off, though...]

    BILLIE: Tell ya what, Eggy... how about we have a little competition? And we'll let *Pinky* decide on the challenge. What do ya say?

    BRAIN: {Glances over at Pinky, who's running around with his arms spread out like airplane wings, making propellor noises] Very well...what do you propose?

    PINKY: Oh, let's see who can hold their breath for the longest out in space! Narf!

    BILLIE: Um....try something a bit less *deadly*, Pinks...

    PINKY: OK! Um...uh...ooh, I've got it! First one to fly around the world *wins*! HAHAHA!

    BRAIN: Fly around the *world*? HA! With this ring of mine, I thee...*WIN*!

    BILLIE: And with *this* ring of mine...I'll beat the pants off ya! Ha!

    PINKY: HAHAHA..."I thee win"! NARF! That's really funny, Brain!

    BRAIN: Thank you, Pinky...now let's get this show on the road...or in the air, as it may be!

    BILLIE: See ya 'round Eggy! (Billie zips off)

    BRAIN: Eh-hem... we haven't begun yet.

    BILLIE: (Zipping back) "Oops! Sorry, natch!

    BRAIN: We'll need to make this as official as possible. We'll need some elaborate tracking system, with a reasonable degree of accuracy...

    BILLIE: Oh, c'mon! Let's just get goin'! Unless you want to waste time finding a stopwatch, or finding judges, or something...

    PINKY: Ooh, I know! How about wrist bands that can double as generators for some weather controlling thingie? Poit!

    BRAIN: Hmm... as loathe as I am to take up yet *another* Flash-related suggestion...very well! It won't take long at all for me to construct such armbands---

    BILLIE: [Walking over to the boys] Finished! Actually, I made 'em a long time ago...when me and Pinky tried racing around the kitchen sink a few weeks ago. [Hands one to Brain]

    BRAIN: [Slaps his face, then sighs heavily] Billie, I believe you---oh, never *mind*. Let's get going...

    BILLIE: Sure thing! [Walks over to the tracking device Brain built in "Two Mice and a Baby" and turns it on] This'll track the two of us while Pinky stays here and watches! Of course, this'll be over with so fast, it'll make your oversized head hurt, Eggy! Teehee!

    BRAIN: I wouldn't be too quick with the references to my cranial size just *yet*, Billie...let's roll!

    [Cut to an open window, where the two genius mice are about to take off...PInky waves a checkered flag around wildly...]

    PINKY: On your mark, get set---uh...um...oh,yes, yes: *GO*! *NARF*!

    [The two mice take off into the air, sending Pinky spiraling in a gust of wind...he falls on the sill, and giggles...pan over to see the tracking device is showing the mice heading eastward over New York City...we see various people look up in the sky, thinking they see something...]

    MAN: Look, up in the sky!

    MAN #2: It's a bird!

    WOMAN: It's a *plane*!

    A STARTLED, GLASSES-WEARING MAN WHO LOOKS A LOT LIKE A CERTAIN FORMER RESIDENT OF SMALLVILLE, KANSAS: Um...well, I can safely say it *isn't* the next line in that cliched catchphrase...

    [Cut to the mice, as they zoom across New York City's skyline...they buzz across the harbor, and over the Atlantic Ocean...]

    BILLIE: (Flying upside down, in a restful pose) "Relax, Eggy, you're trying too hard to keep up! Unless of course your model *requires* you to put every ounce of effort into this... it's so much more relaxing my way... ::yawn::"

    BRAIN: [Frowning] Just you *wait*! By the time we get to the end of this thing, you'll be *glad* you saved up every ounce of strength! [Brain zooms ahead, past Billie...Billie whirls a bit in the air, blinks rapidly, then takes off after Brain...]

    [Cut to much later, where we see the mice are zooming across the Pacific Ocean...despite the distance, they look quite determined...we see a killer whale breach the surface, in an oh-so-dramatic, breath-taking shot that would make Sharklady proud...]

    BILLIE: [Still looking relaxed] Pretty neat, eh, Eggy? Wish I'd brought my camera...

    BRAIN: [Looking a bit tired] Please, Billie...I have more important things to think about than sightseeing! Like *victory*! [Zooms ahead...as the clip ends....]
     
  2. Anthonynotes

    Anthonynotes Active Member

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    1
    Part Two

    KIRBY: (Blinking) Um....that's *it*?!

    KAREN: Give them a break...I'm sure the writers worked very hard to come up...with....that...uh....(shakes her head) Eh, you're right. That was *it*?! (Realizes she's still on-camera) Er...I mean....wasn't that great, everyone?! (Claps) And we'll be right back with *more*! (Fade out music plays) (Muttering) I hate my life....

    [Commericals. Pokemon. You know the drill.]

    KAREN: Welcome back to the Big Cartoonie Show!

    KIRBY: Um, don't you mean the Cat and Bunny....um...Garfield Odie...Jon and Nermal..er... Big-Fat-Hairy-Deal Show?

    KAREN: (Sighs) Just stick with the short version of the name, OK? Our *next* cartoon features the writers engaged in writing a parody of the current course of the "Simpsons", apparently believing that they could actually write such an episode. Well, not likely...I mean, how could they possibly top such great episodes like "Homer's Enemy", "Homerpalooza", and "HOMR"?!?

    KIRBY: Don't forget that telephone area code episode...boy, wasn't that "Homer choking Bart with a phone cord" bit *great*?

    KAREN: *Yeah*....and speaking of phone cords, let's watch *this*!

    KIRBY: Any chance the town blows up in a nuclear power plant-induced explosion?

    KAREN: We can only hope, Kirb...we can only *hope*.

    [The Simpsons parody begins to roll, with a slide card reading "EPISODE #AABFGH23456: 'YET ANOTHER HOMER EPISODE', by: James & Brainatra"]

    [Open on the Simpsons household kitchen table...we see Homer reading the paper, specifically the classifieds...]

    HOMER: Oooh, someone's selling magic beans in exchange for one badly-bent-up car!

    MARGE: Homer, please...don't fall for that scam. Remember when you sold the heater for "miracle hair grower"?

    HOMER: But Maaarrrge.. these beans are magic!

    LISA: Dad, it's likely a scam. I believe an article in _Utne Reader_ once pointed out that...

    HOMER: Lisa, honey...shut up. Daddy's words are more important.

    [Cut to much later...Homer comes home with the beans]

    MARGE : Homey, why didn't I hear the car drive in?

    HOMER: Um...because I flew?

    MARGE: (Looks out into the garage) Homer, did you sell the car for those beans?!

    HOMER: Uh....hey look over there! (Runs out the room, giggling)

    [Cut to even further later...we see he's sitting in front of the TV, looking full]

    HOMER: Ooooh, guess I shouldn't have eaten those beans..but they were *sooo* tasty....

    MARGE: (Murmuring) Mmmm...Homer, we need that extra car! Where are you going to get the money to replace it?!

    HOMER: Don't worry... I'll find a way...

    (Cut to Homer and Bart reading through "The Big Book of Wacky Schemes")

    BART: Whoa, so many scams! How about this one?

    HOMER: Ooooh, that's it! Perfect! C'mon, boy!

    (Homer and Bart make their way to Apu's Kwik-E-Mart)

    APU: May I be of assistance?

    HOMER: Yeah....uh...

    BART: We were wondering if we could have all your out of date meat?

    APU: But what would I be selling then?

    HOMER: Mmmm....meat.

    (Cut to Homer, selling meat at a lemonade-like stand...his sign reads "Meat 4 Sale, Rilly Rilly Fresh....$1 per pound". A scale is next to him.)

    (Mr Burns' limo pulls up outside the stand.. the window buzzes down)

    HOMER: (Shrieks) WAAAH!

    BURNS: Smithers....oh, never mind. I'll go check out the *other* meat racks. (Drives off)

    HOMER: That was close...

    (Much later...as even the wackier characters pass him by)

    HOMER: This sucks! Our wacky scheme isn't working! Time to get *wackier*---by ADVERTISING!

    BART: How, Dad? Ya want me to enter some extreme sports contest with my skateboard?

    HOMER: Hmm...that's crazy enough to work!

    (Cut back to inside the Simpsons house at dinner)

    LISA: I don't think this extreme sports contest is a ver safe idea Bart... even though we don't always get along, I wouldn't wish you'd appear on ESPN.

    HOMER: Honey, Bart's going to risk his neck, so I'd appreciate you keeping quiet.

    LISA: Like *Maggie*?

    HOMER: Who's Maggie?

    LISA: (Sighs) Never mind....

    MARGE: This isn't very safe, Homer....can't you raise money some other way?

    HOMER: Marge, I'm doing this for us...and a car....so I'd appreciate if you'd shut up, too.

    BART: Yeah.. it's not like I didn't offer to do it.

    HOMER: Yeah Marge... it's not like he didn't offer to do it, is it?

    MARGE: Well...oh, I can't let this happen! He'll be *killed*! For what---selling *meat*? or some other crazy scheme?!

    HOMER: Hey! (Raises his fist) Don't make me *divorce you*....

    BART: Like you did when you forged her name on those divorce papers before you got "remarried" back when Milhouse's parents got divorced?

    HOMER: Why you little---! (Grabs a phone cord, and proceeds to strangle Bart)

    LISA : Mom, may I be excused?

    HOMER: You're still here?

    MARGE: Mmmm....

    (Cut to the next day, at the big x-treme sports game...all the Simpsons [minus Maggie, natch] are present...along with the usual Springfield regulars. Homer's holding a pile of meat)

    HOMER: All right, boy, this time you *can't* lose! I've got a secret *plan*!

    COMIC BOOK GUY: This is the worst plan *ever*!

    HOMER: Hey, SHUT UP! (The crowd laughs at CBG for no particular reason)

    MARGE: Hmmm....this isn'ta good idea. I won't watch this! I'm going home in the station wagon!

    HOMER: Sorry, but I've taken care of that little escape route! (Holds up the keys to the car....and one of the tires)

    ANNOUNCER : Welcome, residents of Springfield and Shelbyville, to the first annual X-Treme Sports Competition....

    BART (chanting): I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win...

    HOMER: You'd *better* win.... (holds up a piece of phone cord; Bart gulps)

    LISA: (Sighs) I hope Bart isn't killed...

    RANDOM WACKY SPRINGFIELDER: Oh *I* do.... (Begins laughing maniacally, until all stare at him) (meekly) I'll be quiet now...

    HOMER: (Whispering into a cell phone) OK, guys, carry out---the PLAN!

    MARGE: When did you get a cell phone?

    HOMER: When *didn't* I get a cell phone? (giggles)

    MARGE: Mmmmm....

    ANNOUNCER: On your mark, get set---*GO*!

    (The skateboarders take off on a ramp...we see Bart's speeding towards a ramp to jump 17 flaming schooolbuses, a pool full of gators, some barbed wire, and a pile of meat)

    HOMER : Go boy! OR ELSE!

    (Bart gulps again)

    MARGE: Aren't you being a little bit too competitive with Bart?

    HOMER: Competitive like a fox!

    LISA: This is insane! (Stands up) PEOPLE OF SPRINGFIELD! This mindless nonsense is ludicrous! Cease it at once!

    GUY: *You* cease it!

    LISA: Well, I tried.

    HOMER: And you *failed*. Don't forget it.

    LISA: (Sighs) I wonder what Maggie's up to....

    HOMER: Who's Maggie? (Into his cell phone) OK, Obese Anthony, set the plan into action!

    MARGE: (Gasps) Homer, is that *Fat Tony* the *gangster*?!?

    HOMER: *D'OH*! (Angry) You didn't hear *that*! You didn't hear that!

    (We see Fat Tony's by the ramps; as Bart jumps off, he straps a rocket to the bottom of Bart's skateboard, and Bart soars over to the other side...all cheer. )

    HOMER: Woo-HOO! (Runs to the winner's stand, and takes the mike from Bart's congratulatory speech (and knocks the judge out the way)) Remember, everyone, I have the best *meat*!

    (Cut to car driving home minus one wheel)

    MARGE: How did we get any money for the old car from Bart's death-defying stunt?

    COMIC BOOK GUY: (From back seat, out of nowhere) Yes, and this ending was just *beyond* dumb! Worst ending *ever*!

    HOMER: Shut up! (Hurls him out of the car by turning a corner at high speed, hurling the CBG into oncoming traffic)

    HOMER: Anyway, since Fat Tony set everything up, we couldn't lose! We got the prize money, and now, we'll get our car back!

    (They stop in front of their house, only to find that the whole city is ensconsed in yet another full-blown riot....)

    HOMER: Awww, another riot *already*? Why didn't someone tell me?

    BART: I would've if you hadn't been choking me with Ma Bell's equipment there.... (Homer repeats choking Bart with the phone cord)

    LISA: And so it goes...

    HOMER: Lisa, go to your room!

    LISA: Fine...maybe Maggie's hiding in *there*...

    HOMER: (Still choking Bart) Grr...*who*...*is*...*MAGGIE*?!

    LISA: (Sighs)

    (Later that night, the family (sans Maggie) is at the center of town, with rioting still going on)

    MARGE: Why are we here?

    HOMER: For top bargains! Why bother stealing a gold watch and pawn it off, when I can steal a *car*?!

    MARGE: Sigh..how did this riot start anyway?

    BART: Well, when Fat Tony rigged the contest, he wanted to control the town's meat market...so, he blew up every other shop in town. Without meat, everyone went into a riot....

    COMIC BOOK GUY: (From out of nowhere, heavily bandaged/in a wheelchair) Oh *please*! I've seen better rioting done during "No Man's Land" in the Bat-books...

    HOMER: (Holds up his phone cord) Don't make me come over there...

    CBG: I'm out of here...(rolls off in his wheelchair)

    HOMER: Now where was I? (Pauses, blinks) Oh, yeah... (Chokes Bart with the phone cord again)

    MARGE: Mmmm....

    HOMER: (Stops choking and points to something) Look! Our new car! Let's swipe it and go!

    LISA: Don't you realise stealing and rioting go against every natural law on earth?

    HOMER: Do you want to walk home, Lisa?

    LISA: Beats being choked with telephone equipment...

    CHIEF WIGGUM: What's this about chokin' people?

    HOMER: Shut up, *SHUT UP*! (Waves fist) Don't make me divorce *you*....

    CHIEF WIGGUM: Uh...*yeah*. Anyway, after we ran Tony in, he spilt the beans on the whole thing. So, you're all under arrest.

    HOMER: Oh, what'll we do *now*?

    LISA: (Flatly) "We"?! (Sees something) Hey, look! Celebrities!

    BART: Maybe *they* can help us!

    (Pan over to see the celebs in question are Eminem and Puff Daddy, a.k.a. "P. Diddy"...)

    EMINEM: Hey kids! Looting's cool!

    PUFF DADDY: Just because you take guns to places, doesn't mean your girlfriend will stop loving you.

    LISA: (Makes a face) Yeurgh...who invited *these* losers here?

    HOMER: *Lisaaaaa*....they're *celebrities*....even if they are foul-mouthed jerks who go for cheap shock value in their lyrics.

    LISA: Wow, Dad, that was really smart. Guess that crayon in your brain must've dislodged slightly.

    MARGE: What crayon in his brain?

    LISA: *Sigh*....(to celebs) Anyway, can you help us out of this situation? Or stop the riots? Tell Wiggum we're innocent?

    PUFF DADDY: Unfortunately for you, no... I've already had far too many run-ins with police officers, both competent and incompetent, and don't have time for any more.

    EMINEM: Sorry, I'm too busy thinking about how many people I'll offend with my new record. It's gotta be more than the last one or I'm washed up.

    LISA: *Great*....can't we get some other celebs?

    (Pan over to, behind the singers, Gary Coleman, Britney Spears, Kid Rock, and Mickey Rooney)

    HOMER: Oooh, they're *all* helpful!

    MARGE: I don't think so, Homer....(sighs) Well, if they can't save us--then how will we get out of this one, Homer? (Sees he's missing) Um...*Homer*?

    LISA: Where'd he go? And Eminem? And Puff Daddy? (Flatly) And *Maggie*?!?

    (Cut to see that Maggie's alone, and at the nuclear power plant....she's pressing buttons at a control reactor station randomly....a voice says "Detonation of residential area of Springfield in 15 seconds...")

    (Cut to see that the town's gotten wind of this warning, and are panicking)

    LISA: *Not this again*...though at least those Warners aren't involved....

    (Cut to Homer, who's running on a road away from town/the scene-of-impending destruction, with Eminem and Puffy in tow)

    HOMER: You *stoopid* kids!

    (We see the residential area go BOOM! Pieces of houses go flying....Marge moans)

    MARGE: There goes the streetpost!

    WIGGUM: Aaaah, Marge, Homer asked me to hand you this paper...(Marge takes it) "Dear Marge, I'm divorcing you. Please find I've already forged your signature"---Mmmmmmm! Not *again*....

    [Maggie comes hurtling towards earth from the sky, and falls into Lisa's arms]

    LISA: (Ecstatic) MAGGIE! You're alive! We were wondering where you were! Guess we can call off that milk-carton "missing persons" ad, Mom...

    MAGGIE: (Sucks on her pacifier) *Suck-Suck*

    WIGGUM: Whoa...she must've been at the plant! I bet she's the one that saved us all from being destroyed by that blast!

    FRINK: (From out of nowhere) Nn-yeah. If someone hadn't been at the plant, the pressure we've determined that's been building up would've destroyed the *entire* town!

    BURNS: (Pulling up) Hmm....*the baby that shot me* saved us from destruction?! Hmph...what oaf would bring a baby to the plant?

    MARGE: (Smiling) Only *one*....my *Homey*.

    BURNS: Hmm... well this Homey person had best not brin more babies to the plant, understand?

    MARGE: (Smiling) I suppose..oh, Homey, please come back!

    HOMER: (Running back towards town) Must...get back to family....got to...get money...from Marge..for new...life!

    BART: So was this all worth it in the end?

    HOMER: (Finally arrives) Marge....need...money...too long....to run...with Eminem...to Vegas....to remarry!

    MARGE: Oh, Homer! (Grabs and hugs him) You saved us all!

    HOMER: Me do what now? (Feels being hugged) Awww, Marge, thanks for the hug....(They kiss)

    LISA: Trust me, Bart, this *wasn't* worth the time.....

    BART: You're telling me... I don't even have a trophy!

    HOMER: Now son, we sold it for even *more* money....to support my wacky meat scheme....to get a new car, remember?

    BART: We *stole* a car after it was all done! So, where's the cash, dad?

    MARGE: Good question, what did you do with all the money made from the meat and Bart's prize?

    HOMER (thinking):Don't tell them you ate it, don't tell them you ate it... (out loud): I ate it. D'oh!

    BART: (Shocked/annoyed, along with the rest of the family) What....the.......h(bleep)? You *ATE* *MONEY*?!?!

    HOMER: Awww, but I was hungry and it was so green...and you always told me I should eat more greens, Marge...

    MARGE: (Moans) Oh, *Homer*....

    CBG(wheels back): This is the stupidest Homer *ever*!

    HOMER: (Jumps CBG) I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE! (Chokes him, before kicking his wheelchair back into traffic; screeching tires are heard) Besides, I didn't eat *all* of it....

    (Cut to Eminem and Puff Daddy, ogling their newfound gains)

    PUFF DADDY: Whatcha gonna do with *your* share of this loot?

    EMINEM: (Angelic-sounding music playing) I'm going to donate some money to supporting the needs of downtrodden women and gay youth *everywhere*!

    PUFF: And *I'm* going to dedicate my share to supporting the protection of musicians' rights to their original work!

    (Both look at each other, before breaking down into laughter; cut back to Homer...)

    HOMER: Celebrities need money just as much as we do, Marge.

    LISA: No, they don'---

    (Sees Homer wielding his now-worn phone cord)

    LISA: Er, maybe they do....uh....who's up for ice cream?

    HOMER: Oooh! Me! Me! Come on, everyone---let's go home.

    BART: Hey, I thought we were supposed to be under arrest....and you and Mom divorced!

    HOMER: No Bart, that all changed. Can't you see how much I love your mother? I'm not strangling her with a phone cord, an obvious sign of love...

    BART: What about the arrest?

    HOMER: We won't haveta deal with that since we can run faster than Wiggum! Run everyone!

    (They do so....cut back to home, which is apparently not affected by the plant blast. They're eating in front of the tube)

    LISA: So, what was the point of all this?

    BART: Don't enter extreme sports contests?

    HOMER: Don't sell meat with gangsters?

    MARGE: Need I remind you that all this is *your* fault, Homer? If you hadn't sold the car, bought those magic beans, and so forth in the first place, none of thsi would've happened!

    HOMER: Oh Margie, I love you too....

    (Gives her a small peck on the cheek)

    MARGE: Didn't you hear what I just said? *This*...is....all...your....*FAULT*!

    LISA: Yeah, dad....all your fault!

    (Homer waves phone cord; all gulp and quiet down)

    HOMER: I'm glad we could reach this... understanding.

    LISA: Er....I guess so. (Grins, laughs nervously)

    BART: (Feeling neck) Um...yeah.

    HOMER: (Sets it aside) *Good*! Now let's all relax in front of TV's warm glowing glow....

    MARGE: Um...sure, Homey. (they kiss)

    LISA: Um....where's Maggie?

    HOMER: Who's Maggie?

    LISA: *Daaad*...

    (Cut to the TV program, which is the evening news...)

    KENT BROCKMAN: Good evening Springfield! In tonight's news, a baby blows up all but the Simpsons residence... coincidence? You decide.The baby's current whereabouts are *unknown*....

    (Cut to Maggie, on a road outside of Springfield...the same road that Homer was racing away from town on earlier on. She gives a few sad pacifier sucks at the town behind her, as dramatic, sad music plays...she begins sticking her thumb out, trying to hitch a ride...)

    BROCKMAN:In other news, rappers Eminem and Puff Daddy were both seen in Springfield this afternoon, fueling speculation of upcoming "turf wars"....

    HOMER: (Seeing the Puff Daddy news) *Bo-ring*....

    BART: But dad, they're celebrities you *like*...

    HOMER: (Reaches towards phone cord)

    BART: Er...uh.... "Aye caramba!"

    HOMER: That's *better*. Enough of this...(changes channel to the Bumblebee Guy....all begin laughing....)

    (Exec producer credits come up as a small sample of theme plays.)

    (Cut to the closing credits, squeezed to corner of screen to promote "When Politicians Attack!" and "World's Deadliest Cartoon All-Stars"....then cut back to a commercial, filled with more Poke-promos. Then, cut back to the Cat and Bunny Gilbert Gottfried Iago Mxy Big Screeching-Voiced "Hollywood Squares" Regular Show...Karen and Kirby are now standing on their usual blank-background set...)

    KIRBY: (Applauding loudly) Woo-hoo! Wasn't that a *great* "Simpsons" episode?

    KAREN: *Kirby*, it was just a *parody* of one...if it *was* a real episode, we'd have seen something much wackier than what was shown.

    KIRBY: Oh, *yeah*... so, what now?

    KAREN: Now, we get to introduce our *special guests*....making their first in-person BCS appearance, the heroes of our fanfic stories!

    [We see walk on the stage none other than the Warners, the lab mice, and Axel Foley---however, all look less-animated-than-usual...yep, you guessed it kiddies, it's none other than recycled stock footage of said characters, in a shrewd cost-cutting KWB measure, no doubt.]

    KAREN: Welcome, guys!

    "YAKKO": (Dialogue spliced together in words and pieces from old fanfics/episodes and actually sounds smooth-talking) Hey, there, Karen and Kirby---great show!

    KAREN: Thank you...

    "YAKKO": (Jerkily gesturing/speaking) It's guys like you that made this network what it is...with the way you selectively and carefully reused our old cartoons and repackaged them into this great, innovative, and convenient show format such as the Big Cartoonie Show, you've done the viewing public a *great* service! Let's give brilliant execs like Thaddeus Plotz a hand! (Recycled footage of him clapping)

    KAREN: (Blushes) Awww, geez, thanks, Yakko...

    KIRBY: (Chuckles) "Hello, general practictioner"...love that line....how's it goin', Pinky?

    "PINKY": (Recycled footage of him laughing) HAHAHAHAHA!

    "BRAIN": (Recycled footage/dialogue) Shut up, imbecile. (Footage of him whapping Pinky on the head)

    KAREN: So, Billie, do you think you might want to see more of such great compilations of your old episodes like what the "Big Cartoonie Show" provides?

    "BILLIE": (Recycled dialogue/footage of her fawning over Pinky and sighing)

    KIRBY: You *really* sure?

    "BILLIE": (Recycled footage/dialogue of her filing her nails) Um, I dunno...

    KAREN: Well, guys, what do you say? Do you think the "Big Cartoonie Show" oughta be brought back with *more* "carefully reedited and reused" old cartoons of yours?

    "YAKKO": (Holding perfectly still in a "freeze frame"-like pose, with dialogue spoken despite him not moving even his lips; recycled dialogue) I like it!

    "WAKKO": (Same frozen still-shot) Me, too!

    "DOT": (Ditto) Yeah!

    "AXEL": (Et. al.) (Bleep)!

    "PINKY": (Recycled laughing)

    KAREN: Looks like it's nearly unanimous----so, Brain, any word on what you think the *new and improved* version of this show's gonna be like? (A bit tauntingly) You probably won't think it'll be very good...and Pinky will probably want to watch somethin' else...

    "BRAIN": (Dialogue/footage lifted from "The Mouseyville Horror"): Don’t argue with me! If you must spend your time watching cartoons, at least watch cartoons which display some iota of substance....

    KIRBY: Oh, like, the Big Cartoonie Show?

    "BRAIN": (Recycled footage of him clasping his fist) *YES*!

    KAREN: Then it's unanimous! All we need is your signatures right here, and we'll get started...Kirby, get the old "Animaniacs" videos and scissors! I'll get these guys started on making a few promos! (Whips out contracts) Sign here, please...

    "YAKKO": (Jerkily moving) No problem! (Moves to sign the document, but we suddenly see instead the faux-Yakko whip out a remote control, and press a button; instantly, we see two ACME safes drop down on both Karen and Kirby each; muffled sounds eminate from underneath.)

    DIRECTOR'S VOICE: (From off-screen) *CUT*! (Walks on the set) What the heck happened?! (Examines the stock footage) That shouldn't even be... wonder what could've gone wrong?! (to off-stage crew) Check the wiring on the stock footage control matrix! Must've been a miswired circuit or something....

    [Cut to the control room, where we see sitting at the controls are the Warners...]

    YAKKO: "Miswired circuit", aaaaaaaahhhh, or maybe *not*. (Kisses at the camera) *Good night, everybody*!

    [The sibs wave, as the closing music plays, before Ralph enters, chasing them off....]

    [Closing TBCS credits, compressed to the corner of the screen for promos pushing the recycled-stock-footage-laden "Static Shaq" weekend...]

    ---
    "Simpsons" portion written by James and Brainatra.

    "Brain-iac 5000" portion written by Romey and Brainatra.

    "Flight Rings" portion by Romey and Brainatra.

    "The Mouseyville Horror" written by Sharklady.

    Remaining TBCS scenes written by Brainatra.

    Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Pinky, Brain, Billie, ACME Labs, Ralph, Karen, Kirby, related elements, and their respective shows © 2001 Warner Bros., used without permission.

    The Simpsons and all related indica/characters © 2001 20th Century Fox, used without permission.

    Axel Foley © Paramount Studios, used without permission.
     
  3. robert

    robert Member

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    Another nice outing. The really nitpicking critics would say that Internet satire, superhero satire, and terrible Simpsons satire is too easy to do and has been overdone, but you're still able to make it funny. Best segment, the Simpsons stuff, you could very easily say this was a transcript of any current Simpsons ep. I especially like the perfect portrayal of Lisa as the overbearing moral crusader she usually is. But as I said earlier, it's too bad next weeks ep is premering next week, or I'd suspect you'd have lots more material to work with. Followed close behind by the computer segment, and the rings bit in third by a neck...oops, the Kentucky Derby was two days ago, my mistake.
     
  4. Anthonynotes

    Anthonynotes Active Member

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    >>Another nice outing. The really nitpicking critics would say that Internet satire, superhero satire, and terrible Simpsons satire is too easy to do and has been overdone, but you're still able to make it funny.


    Thanks...though you'd have to thank Romey and James as well!

    >> Best segment, the Simpsons stuff, you could very easily say this was a transcript of any current Simpsons ep. I especially like the perfect portrayal of Lisa as the overbearing moral crusader she usually is.


    Well, Lisa when written well *isn't* a "whiny Marxist PC Thug" (as the unfair, cliched Usenet description of her goes), but someone who speaks her mind when something she feels is truly amiss. Though with the tone of the show these days, I guess I could see why one'd feel that way....

    >>But as I said earlier, it's too bad next weeks ep is premering next week, or I'd suspect you'd have lots more material to work with.

    Well, since I haven't been watching the show at all in the past season or two, I guess I'd leave it to James (whenever the ep gets to Australia) to analyze, um, whatever the episode that's airing next week involves (and I suspect I don't even want to know...).

    >> Followed close behind by the computer segment,

    There was more (where Brain tries hooking up a record player to download some files into the "Brain-iac 5000", IIRC), but I forgot to include it in the above story...

    >>and the rings bit in third by a neck...oops, the Kentucky Derby was two days ago, my mistake.

    -B.
     

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