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TOONS AND DOOM

by Robert Dougherty

{Opens in a crowded auditorium. A cheery announcer then speaks}

Announcer: And now, fanfiction fans, please welcome the author of the latest story in the growing list of stories in the WBC Bulletin Board, Robert Dougherty!

{The curtain rises and Robert walks in, wearing a suit and tie. The crowd claps until he raises his hands in silence. They then clap no more}

Robert: Ahem. Good day, ladies and gentlemen. As you know, a movie recently came out based on the beloved 1960's cartoon "Rocky and Bullwinkle" a film that combines live action with animation. But no film that combines those two elements can ever escape comparasions to the film that did it best of all, the 1988 classic film, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

{A TV is wheeled in back of Robert and he goes toward it}

Robert: To set up things for my story, I'm about to show you the climactic scene of that movie. I advise anyone who hasn't seen the film to leave now so I don't spoil things for you. Anyone who hasn't seen the film, again you may go.

{No one leaves and crickets chirp, since everyone has obviously seen the film}

Robert: Okay, it's been one minute and already the first dumb question of this thing has been asked. Very well then, here is the Final Confrontation[T.M] from that film between Bob Hoskins' Eddie Valiant and Christopher Lloyd's evil human/toon, Judge Doom. Roll film!

{The TV turns on and said climactic scene airs, starting with the evil Judge Doom walking towards Eddie Valiant with a buzzsaw for a hand. Eddie then dives away and gets out a toon mallet, which shoots a boxing glove that turns a gun filled with Doom's toon killing Dip right at him, and he is drenched with it. The scene ends with him parodying the "I'm melting" scene from the Wizard of Oz as he melts to his death. The TV then goes off}

Robert: As I said, that film has been called a classic. And now comes a story that will probably be called anything but a classic. But judge for yourselves. Enjoy!

{We now fade to the WB lot. A caption reads "July 2000" After seeing the usual hustle and bustle of stars for a few moments, we go inside Mr Plotz's office. He is hard at work writing something. At that point Sammy Melman comes walking in}

Sammy: Well, if it isn't Thaddeus Plotz, and it is! Thaddy! The Thaddinator! Thadalada-dingdong! Thadalicious! Thad-

Plotz: You can stop trying to impersonate that Sob Scheinder guy from Sunday Night Live, Mr Melman. I'm too busy to even try to tolerate those kind of things today.

Sammy: Oh, okay. So what is it you're so busy doing?

Plotz: I'm writing the advertisements for the new Pokemon movie coming out soon. Once we air those things all over the globe ad nauseum, every kid in the world will see the film and make us a new high in the money making department!

Sammy: Oh, that old Pokemon obssesion. Well, after the things I've been in lately, with that whole marathon and that near takeover of the country thing, a guy can forget about how much you just love those Japanese creatures, but you always come through to remind me.

Plotz: Did you come here only to look back at your problems, because I can't be disturbed!

Sammy: You can be for this.{Low}They're having a meeting of all the WB executives in a few minutes and as execs, we have to be there. Mr You Know Who told me this meeting is very, very important to our future.

Plotz: Who's Mr "You know who"?

Sammy: You know who it is, Jamie Kellner! Your boss, the guy that made us millions by letting Pokemon take over Kids WB but made us mocked and despised by every WB fan in the country for his taking off their other favorite shows, that guy?

Plotz: Oh, right, him! But you could have just told me who it was instead of using that whole you know stuff.

Sammy: Hey, what's a big dramatic meeting without some suspense and mystery like that to make it more dramatic, I always say. Now let's go to the meeting and see if it lives up to that hype unlike so many of our other summer movies.

{Fade to a very dark room as people in black suits and ties are sitting around a large rectangular table along with Plotz and Sammy, with only a light bulb above them for light, not unlike The Circle meeting room. A dark figure is standing next to some blinds, and he then shuts them off. Strains of the Imperial March from the Star Wars films plays as he then comes into the light to reveal himself as Jamie Kellner}

Kellner: Thank you all for coming to this meeting. It concerns the thing that has stretched our wallets to a new high in waist length, and it begins with a P.

Plotz: This isn't about the promos, is it? I swear I'm almost done, and you've barely given me time to finish.

Kellner: Silence Plotz, and maintain your dignity!

Plotz:{Meek}Yes sir.

Kellner: But this is about the other thing that starts with a P that's given us money, Pokemon. Once the new film opens we shall quell any rumors about a slump in merchandising and ridiculous claims that the fad has peaked by going all out in our advertising, and with the glorious money we'll make, another step will be taken in making our cash cow last forever!{Laughs madly, then stops when Sammy joins him}

Sammy: Sorry, I couldn't help myself, moments like that demand that kind of reaction.

Kellner: True, but I do it better and have more experience, so no more of that for you.{Serious}But there may be a fly in the ointment.

Exec: Thanks for reminding me, I forgot to check my ointment for flies today.{Gets out a barrel of ointment}

Kellner: Silence, I always have to tell you to stop making puns like that, real executives wouldn't be caught dead doing that!

Exec: But I've only been one for a short time, so I wouldn't know that like you do.

Sammy: Good point Allen, you have to admit that is true, um sir.

Kellner: Can we get back to the topic at hand, our potential problem?! And now I shall show you what that is.

{He opens the blinds to reveal the Warners outside causing their usual havoc}

Kellner: The Warner Brothers and the Warner sister Dot!

Dot: Well, what do you know, Mr destroyer of all real entertainment on our network actually remembered my name. Remind me to anvil him twice instead of four times the next time we get the idea.{Kellner closes the blinds}

Kellner: See, she practically echoed my worries! Do you know why that radio station run by those kids, the mice, that squirrel, and the foul mouthed cop a while back was made in the first place? Because they were protesting over our endless promotion of Pokemon and all our dubbed in ads of them promoting it! What's to stop them from revolting again after we unleash our newest series of ads? 

Sammy: So you're worried that if we go through with our promos, they could protest against them, cause a revolt and ruin our chances for big bucks, right? 

Kellner: Yes, but please don't take the words out of mouth before I can say them in that way. 

Sammy: Well the solution is easy, why not cut back on the ads and don't have their cut and pasted images in them? I mean, every kid in the world will see this movie even without our ads, so why give ourselves the extra work? 

{Everyone gasps in disbelief at this suggestion. Kellner walks up to Sammy ominously}

Kellner: Blasphemy! You dare call yourself a Warner Brothers executive?! No real one would dare make a suggestion that illogical! You skated on thin ice once after that marathon, Mr Melman, I advise you to be quiet before it breaks.

Sammy: Okay, but even if we do go through with the ads, what harm could it do? It's not like the Warners could cause that much trouble to ruin us, right?

Kellner: Plotz, please bring this man to his senses and tell him the kind of damage they can do from personal experience.

Plotz: If I explained all the reasons, wouldn't that take up all the time of this meeting?

Kellner: See, that's perfect proof! No, I can't let them interfere and I can't cut back on my ads! So now we come to the meat of the meeting.{To Allen}And if you make any cracks about real meat, I swear I will cover your mouth with duct tape!

Allen: Okay then, I sure wouldn't want to have that stinging sensation after you take the tape off my mouth.

Kellner: And to make sure we don't feel the stinging sensation in our wallets, me and my Japanese investors have come up with an invention.{Kellner and two previously unseen Japanese men come towards something covered by a large white sheet}Now, prepare to see the answer to all our future problems before they are born!

{The three men take the sheet off to reveal a device shaped exactly like a teleporter next to a small control console}

Sammy: It's fabulous, it's amazing! Um, what is it?

Japanese man 1:{Badly dubbed in of course}It's called, um, well, it has no name and it's hard to explain, but when activated, something will come out of that machine that will be the answer to Mr Jamie's paranoid worries.

Japanese man 2: Yes, we don't know what's going to come out of there, it could be a person or a device, but whatever it is, it will make sure that the puppies don't interfere with promotions for our beloved cartoon.

Kellner: It took me more than a month to build this thing, and now we've decided to see if we did a good job by presenting it and activating it in front of you guys so you could see the solution to our problems, whatever it may be.

Plotz: So what are we waiting for, this really is a great plan sir, and for once I won't have to be the one out of here that has to deal with the Warners havoc!

Kellner: Yes, you dealt with them enough by joining that medal mogul society with that Laura person and in that brilliant plot to steal all of Santa's toys to our benifit, but now if you'll stand back, you shall witness your replacement in the department of blundering lackeys!

{The machine is then turned on. Noise hums out, and a monitor on the console reads that the machine is 5% done. However that number increases very slowly, and the noise begins to disappear. The number now on there, 10% done, doesn't increase for some time}

Plotz: Hurry up, why is this thing going so slow?!

Japanese man 1: Well, I suppose this should be expected, this was made with parts used to go onto the Internet, and you know how slow that can be.

Plotz: Exactly why I don't use it, darn computers take away all your hard work in an instant and also take away your sanity. That's also why I'm going to do this!{He kicks the machine}Faster, darn you, go faster!

Sammy: Please stop that, in every movie there are horrible mistakes out of these experiments by that kind of behavior, let's not make this another statistic in that category.

Japanese man 2: He's right, you're hurting it, stop it.

Plotz: Number one, you all knew I had this temper when you hired me. Number two, why should I listen to the Japanese guy?

Japanese man 1: I don't know, maybe because we created a show that you have milked for all it's worth and have made zillions of dollars with in ads and promotions, that's why.

Plotz: Boy, that is a good reason.{The machine makes a harsh noise}

Japanese man 2: And now it may be too late! Your kicking it may have changed it for the worse, for some reason this thing is very sensitive and can go wrong in unpredictable ways at the slightest kick. And don't bother to explain your behavior in the old excuse "You should have told me before I did that"

Sammy: What did I tell you, this always happens in movies, it never fails to not fail.

Kellner: I hate to tell you this, but this is real life, so let's get back while we still have one!

{Everyone dives below the table. On the monitor, the harsh nosies are getting louder, and on the monitor, it reads that the machine is 100% done. Just then tons of smoke and fog come out of the teleporter-esque device, covering the entire room. Nothing can be seen for a few moments, until a pair of crazy red eyes come through the smoke. They look around for a few seconds until a fan pops out and blows most of the smoke away}

{Now we see the fan was connected to an arm, a live action arm at that. A human hand comes into view and puts a glove over that fan to make it a hand. Now we see the hands putting two eyeballs on the red eyes to make them now human, then glasses and a hat are put on. Whoever's doing this now walks into view...to reveal himself as Judge Doom, the evil human/toon villain of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" He looks around at the shocked execs for a few minutes, then speaks}

Doom: For my first statement since apparently coming back from the dead, I shall ask this. Who are you, and what part of Toontown am I in?

Plotz: T-Toontown? You're not in Toontown, whoever and whatever you are.

Doom: Then what other explanation is there that you are all toons and the scenery outside is animated?

Sammy: I can explain that. You're in the cartoon world in the year 2000, Mr Doom.

Doom: How do you know my name?

Sammy: Well, remember when you framed Roger Rabbit for Marvin Acme's murder then tried to destroy Toontown to build the freeway? Heh, of course you do, that's how you bit it in the first place. Well anyway, those events were made into a movie in 1988, and everyone regards it as a classic. So you're blessed with being a villain in a very popular movie where everyone would recognize you.

Doom: Interesting. And now I'm here about 53 years after my death? Who are you that apparently brought me back, power hungry developers obssesed with making money?

Allen: Something very close to that. We're executives for the Warner Brothers network, and we were trying to bring back something that would make sure our crass overpromotion of our Japanese cartoon, Pokemon, wouldn't be interfered with. And you were that something, or someone as it turns out.

Japanese man 1: Yes, and please don't make any jokes about Japan and W-W-I-I, Mr Doom, or we'll show you our country's expertise in kung fu very personally.

Doom: Kung fu? Well, whatever that is, does it stand any chance against my defense for it?{Pulls off the glove on his right hand to reveal it as a cartoon ax}

Japanese man 2:{Scared}No, I highly doubt that.

Allen: Enough with the bothering of the foreign men, Mr Doom, you have 53 years of history to catch up on. With your permission, I'd like to give you a tour of the lot to show you what you missed.

Kellner: Did you ever watch that rabbit movie, Allen?! Aren't you the least bit worried that he'll dip you to make sure his skills as a villain aren't rusty?!

Allen: I think he'll be too thrilled with 53 years of progress to even think about it. Mr Doom, if you'll come with me so I can try to prove myself right.

{Allen and Doom leave. Fade to a while later as the two return}

Doom: Well, that was a very educational experience, now I'm up to date on almost everything that's happened since the end of my first life, and I know fully why and how I was brought back by you people.

Kellner: Actually we had no idea what was going to come out of that, we didn't intend it to be you.

Doom:{Ignoring Kellner}And I'm well aware of what the purpose of such an experiment was, to make sure your promotion of your Japanese cartoon wasn't disturbed by these Warner siblings. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so I've made a decision. I'm going to fulfill your mission for you. And I may just expand it to make sure other former employees of yours don't get in the way.

Kellner: No, absolutely not! We may want them out of the way, but we know how you'd go about eliminating that threat, and we're not that heartless to let you kill them!

Sammy: Actually, didn't that little Christmas adventure where Plotz tried to get rid of them so often prove that you can be?

Kellner: Don't contradict me, Mr Melman. I'm sorry Mr Doom, we can't accept your help. We'll just find another way to deal with them.

Doom: All right then, I accept your decision, and I'm reacting in two ways, one carried out in the past and present. First, my present reaction.

{His left hand is now shown as a cartoon chainsaw, and he uses it to destroy the machine and its console}

Doom: First, I have made sure you won't be able to send me back to where I came from. Second, I have studied the advancements of technology in the last half century, and used one of its elements all over the studio. I have, as you would say, bugged this lot.

Kellner: Why would you want to spy on us and listen to everything the guys who brought you back say?

Doom:{Sharp}So I can see if it's a good time to punish you if you disobey my next order! Now, I'm going to acquire some new allies to replace those idiotic weasels. You are not going to tell anyone outside this room about what happened here, and keep this whole thing to yourselves. If you do not, I shall show my skills as a villain by doing the evilest thing possible for you.

Kellner:{Panicked}You're going to dip my Pokemon if we tell anyone?

Doom: Well, apparently you're not as idiotic as everyone says you are after all.

Kellner: You wouldn't do that, you couldn't! Would you?

Doom: Just tell someone else what happened here today and you'll find out.{He leaves}

Kellner: Well Plotz, I hope you're happy, thanks to you our time of joy has turned into something completely different than that!

Plotz: The machine brought him back, not me! What kind of screwed up machine can bring back people from the dead with one little kick, how is that possible?!

Sammy: That actually is a good question, how'd it do that?

Allen: It is quite a puzzlement. Excuse me a moment.

{He walks out of the room and goes into a nearby closet. Once he closes the door, he pulls out a wristwatch with a small monitor on it, showing a dark and unrecognizable figure}

Allen: It worked sir, your plan to have me alter that machine so Judge Doom would be brought back from the dead worked! Like you said, he's going to try to get all the former Kids WB stars, and he's going right now to get new allies, with your credentials he'll certainly pick you guys.

Figure: Brilliant Allen, not to brag, but this plan and your doings have been very well thought out. As you know, after we sent you to spy on the WB execs because of their connections to our foes and you found out about that machine, we immediately thought of bringing the judge back, because he's very dangerous and although he may not have said it, he'll likely want revenge on the rabbits and detective who sent him to his first death, and he'll be going after all the former Kids WB stars to draw his enemies out into the open because they'd certainly help him after hearing his plot.

Allen: Yes, and because your old enemies associate with all those former stars so much, they'd be included as part of that group he'd go after, and because you have such strong ties to them, he'd pick you to help him.

Figure: Exactly. And you have perfectly followed the calculations we spent a month making sure that with one little kick, it would bring the judge back. We of course didn't have any worries that such a kick would be made, because we knew Plotz would get impatient with it's slowness and give it that kick.

Allen: And I am certainly proud to be the one you chose to give you such information by posing as an executive to get close enough to alter that machine.

Figure: Yes, you've done a wonderful job. And it'll be your victory when we agree to help Doom in return for the demands we make which will eventually lead to our departure from this place and our arrival into someplace much more powerful.

Allen: Perfect, well I should go now and hide the evidence of my doings to continue to make sure I deserve such praise from you.

{The scene cuts to the black area that the figure is in, he too is holding a wrist watch}

Allen: Carry on and good luck when Doom arrives...Mr Faust.

{We now see that the figure is in fact Wally Faust, and two others are with him, the remaining members of The Circle, the Big Guy and Dr Shale. They grin menacingly as we see that the area they are in is prison. Back on the WB lot, Doom is walking away. He looks back on it for a moment, then springs come out below his shoes like in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and he lifts up to let the springs walk him away}

{Fade to that same spot as a caption reads "1 1/2 Months Later" and we see Doom coming back. He stops right in front of the water tower, the springs still on his feet. With them, he lifts up to the railing of the tower, grabs it, then the springs go away, and he flips over to land in front of the WB logo. He then rings a doorbell nearby. Inside the tower, we see the Warners are riding a train on a toy railroad. Once they hear the doorbell, they make it slow down, impersonating the sounds of a train like they did in "The Big Candy Store" until the train stops}

Yakko: One of these days we're gonna have to apply as replacements for that obsolete whistle that does those sounds.{The doorbell rings again}

All Warners: I'LL GET IT!{They rush towards the door}

Yakko: I'll get it!

Dot: Let me get it!

Wakko: I never get to get it!

Dot: Well someone's got to get it! It's been only 10 seconds and we've already reused two old gags.

Yakko: You know, complaining about using old gags over and over like you do can cost you. This is one of those times.{He proves his point by showing that he is at the door and opens it...then closes it immediately}Um, maybe you should get it this time, Dot.

Dot: Okay.{She opens the door and then she closes it a second later}Then again, maybe we should let Wakko get it, he always complains that he never does, so let's give him a reason to stop.

Wakko:{Joyful}At last, at last I get to get it!{Pause}Wait a minute, you both closed the door after you opened it, who's out there? Baloney? Pip? Mr Director?{Scared}That, that clown?!

Dot: Open it and see instead of spending the day running down our list of old enemies.{Wakko opens the door and sees Doom}

Wakko: Hello, could you leave now? We never answer the door to non beautiful or non potential new special friend strangers.

Doom: And if I decline, what will you do?

Wakko: Stand perfectly still and I'll show you.

{He pulls out a mallet and prepares to hit him with it, but Doom grabs his arm before he does, takes the mallet, and throws it away. He then comes in}

Yakko: Ahhhh...haven't I seen you somewhere else before?

Dot: That's the bad guy from the Roger Rabbit movie, a.k.a that film where you wore out the tape so you could see Jessica Rabbit's every scene 2 zillion times over and over again.

Wakko: Hey, it's the animators fault for drawing her so darn well.

Doom: I knew that would be the only reason you'd watch that movie, because I've researched you three and I know all about you, all your history, all your old gags, I know everything about you and nothing you try to do to me will work because of that.

Yakko: Oh really? Well, maybe we should put your knowledge to the test in something other than a game show for once.{He pulls out a set of cards}Pick a card.

Dot: Ha, one of our new gags from our radio adventure, he'll never get this.

{Doom picks the Ace of Hearts from the set, but before it explodes, he throws it back at Yakko the second he picks it out, so it explodes on him and not Doom}

Yakko:{A bit dazed}Okay, maybe that one was a bit too recently created for you not to hear about it, so in that case let's reuse an old old favorite.{He gets out a rack of polka dot clothes}

Dot:{With a forced smile}I'm going to hurt my brother and Mr Doom badly if this goes according to formula.

Yakko: Now, I think we really need to get rid of that drab black fashion statement you have there and make you more colorful. These clothes are our latest selection.

Doom: May I see them, please?

Yakko: Hey, that's not how it goes, you're supposed to ask "Polka Dot?" and Dot would do the polka. I guess you don't know about us after all if you don't know how that goes.

{Doom takes the rack of clothes and throws them out the open door harshly}

Doom: I do know how that works, Mr Yakko, but as I said, since I know everything there is to know about you, I can't be fooled by that trick.

Dot: Thank you, thank you, thank you, at least for that foiled gag!

Doom: Now as much fun as this has been, I must leave, for I have other toons to visit today.

Yakko: Well then, I guess we'll have to get you with the oldest trick in our book!{Dot sighs, knowing what this trick is}

Doom: Save it for the next time I come here.

{Doom turns from the Warners and walks away, and of course once he does they are now right in front of him, but instead of screaming and panicking like everyone else, he jumps over them and lands out the door}

Doom: See, if you had saved that for later it would have spared you the agony for a little while longer. But then again, why pile agony on for later when so much more of it is to come for you three? I'll see you then.{He closes the door and walks away}

Yakko: Now if that wasn't a setup for our next adventure I don't know what is.

Dot: Great, now the usual formulaic story can begin, with so many overused gags, so many characters that the amount of people that watch the Super Bowl pale in comparasion, and the trademark ninjas and thugs to fight. We probably won't see him again until the very last moment and he'll be in shadows like everyone else.

Wakko: I don't know, that guy actually didn't get driven insane by our gags like everyone else. Do you think we've finally met a formidable villain that can actually give us a challenge?{They ponder for a moment}

Yakko: Nah, the guy killed people and tried to destroy Toontown to build a freeway, for heaven's sake, so how smart can he be? He'll have to prove himself a bumbling fool like the others.

Dot: And since he's a villain from an 80's film, I can assume Captain Caps will have a field day writing 80's style situations like always.

Wakko: Um, I checked and he's not writing this.

Yakko: Well, which of our "esteemed" writers is? Craig? Brainatra? Romey? I find the last one unlikely since Billie hasn't arrived yet.

Wakko: It's none of them, it's one of those less famous writers, Robert.

Dot: Ugh, not that guy who wrote those only halfway funny but halfway dark and dramatic stories about Histeria! He'll probably make us get all sappy and close to death. I'd better not be placed in that death part, I had the "honor" of being ill in our movie, and it's not a role I want to reprise!

{Cut to Robert typing on a computer}

Robert: Come on, at least don't be that critical, I'm actually a very funny guy, I just thought dramatic tension was needed to fulfill my vision in those other stories. But this one's going to shed any possible image of me being an entirely serious guy, so let's move on to continue proving that.{A harsh sound comes out of the computer}Blast this darn computer, I can't go one day without it freezing up on me! We'd better go on to the next scene cause the one here won't be pretty to hear for little kids.

{Back in our story, Doom is walking down the lot until he sees three familar mice walking by}

Billie: I gotta admit Eggy, this latest plan is more likely to work than most of the others you come up with.

Pinky: Ooh, I can't wait to see the happy looks on everyone's faces when you bring back all their favorite canceled shows on the WB, narf!

Brain: Yes! After I convince that dunderhead they call a network boss to let me run the network, I shall end the Pokemon craze and bring back everyone's favorite shows from the doldrums of cancelation! The popularity I'll get for this kind and merciful act from the fans of old shows will surely enable me to rule the world!

Doom:{V.O}Interesting plan. Do you think you'll be around long enough to carry it out?{The mice turns and see Doom right behind them}

Brain: I knew it, I knew I couldn't go one world domination plan without it being interefered with by some other villain!

Doom: I guess that means you know who I am then.

Brain: Sadly yes, Mr Doom. The only thing worse than being placed in another by the numbers adventure is that I'm doing so against someone that actually has a chance to kill us!

Doom: And would that be really a bad thing? I know about all the harsh things you've been through, all the pain and suffering night after night, plans failing miserably, that recent stint you had with that annoying red haired girl, being chased by an evil government organization, all those alternate universe problems, and did I mention all the pain and suffering? That can all end if I have my way with you. True, if I do you won't get to rule the world, but you'll go to a place where you'll never experience the horror you've been through ever again.

Brain: You said it yourself, I won't get to rule the world if you do get your way.

Doom: Very well then, for your sake I hope you carry out your plan quickly, for it may be your...

Brain: Don't finish that statement, I've heard enough of those idiotic end lines for 5 lifetimes!

Doom: Fine, now I shall go and visit other toons who won't be as objective. Good day.{He leaves}

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so Brain but I liked him better as the good guy in "Back To The Future" than as the bad guy in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

Billie: Yeah, me too, I also liked him better in that show with the taxis that also had that guy from the moon movie.

Brain:{Sarcastically}As much as I like being in these debates, we have many battles with him to prepare for, so let's go to our temporary home and do that.

{Inside a studio on the lot, Daffy Duck is none too happy}

Daffy: CUT!! STOP THE CAMERA NOW!!{He rushes over to Mr Director, sitting in a director's chair of course}

Mr Director:{Zany voice}Hoyle, what was that for, you crazy duckie, with the yelling and the stopping of the camera and the delaying of the big anvil on the head scene, flamiel!

Daffy: The anvil on the head scene is what that was for, my public is getting sick and tired of seeing their beloved star being creamed all the time by that rabbit!{Points to Bugs Bunny nearby} I say it's high time we changed around the old formula, let's clobber the rabbit with the anvil this time!

Mr Director:{Serious voice} I cannot do it. He is the star, the big guy, the sole representation of what makes animated cartoons great, with the exception of the mouse in that other studio. To cream him is to spit on the glory of Looney Tunes and everything else in cartoons, do you want to be responsible for that?

Daffy: Hey, I just want to avoid having an excuse not to use up my little bit of health insurance left, is that so much to ask?! Don't get all philosophical on me!{Doom creeps up behind him}

Bugs: Uh, Daffy?

Daffy: Not now Bugsy, I'm trying to give you lumps on the head for once.

Bugs: But Daffy...

Daffy: Quiet, you're not going to distract me with one of your old gags this time, I'm not letting anything get to me until I get him to please my zillions of fans by sparing me!

Doom: Not letting anything get to you, what about me?{Daffy finally notices Doom}

Bugs: That's what I've been trying to tell you Daf, our old "friend" is here.

Daffy: J-J-Judge Doom! Heh, what, what are you doing here, I thought you kicked the bucket a half century ago!

Doom: I did, but thanks to what I've found out is the trademark incompetence of the WB executives, I'm back.

Bugs:{Nervous} Well, we're certainly glad you're here, I tell you things have been pretty lawless for toons since you went away.

Daffy: Have you lost your overrated mind, we should be not glad he's here!

Doom: I know you should, and I know he was only trying to suck up to me. I see that nothing between you two has changed, except for the fact you got to star in a crass, overhyped movie a few years back. Enjoy your endless battles, while you can.{He leaves}

Mr Director: Fronglavin, who was that with the creepiness and the evil and the threatening, cliched lines?

Bugs: Someone very dangerous and deadly, that's who.

Daffy: Hey, why should he get to say the dramatic end line?!

Mr Director:{Serious}Because although he rarely does it, he is so famous and revered that..

Daffy: Never mind, one serving of your answers that make no sense is enough!

{Fade to a beautiful sunset in an equally beautiful area of the woods. Two rabbits are seen in the middle of this scene apparently having a picnic, and now we see that those rabbits are Buster and Babs}

Babs: Isn't this just perfect, Buster?{Suggestively} And I know another word for this to describe it, it begins with an R. Know what it is?

Buster: You got me Babsy, I can't think of anything off the top of my head to describe this that begins with an R.

Babs: I hope you're joking, I mean look at this, the sun is shining, the animals are cheery, the villain from Roger Rabbit is headed towards us...wait, what was that last one?{Doom walks towards them}

Doom: Buster and Babs Bunny, I presume? No relation, of course.

Buster: Shouldn't you have let us say that?

Doom: No, because I've had a field day ruining old running gags like that today. So, I take it since the show was canceled you two have become a couple, right?

Buster:{Nervous}Um, well, uh...

Doom: No need to answer. I know Babs here has had her fun flirting with you almost all the time. I suggest that you turn it up a notch, for you may have only a few days left to do it.{He leaves} 

Babs: That would be a good suggestion if I wasn't so confused about what the heck he meant at the end. 

Buster:{Still nervous}Yep, that is something to think about, so let's go home and think about that end part full time, yes. 

{Later on, it's raining outside as Doom walks down a sidewalk. He takes out a list which has names of many former KWB and Looney Tunes stars names, most of them crossed off. He then looks at a name that isn't, which is Loud Kiddington, and we see that he's not far away from his house. He then sees Charity Bazaar, in a raincoat, running towards the house, and Doom smiles, since her name is right below Loud's. At the house, Charity comes inside and is greeted by Loud}

Loud:{Gentlemanly voice}May I take your soaking wet coat, young lady?

Charity: Oh, it's that old game again, very well then. And yes, you may take my coat since you asked so nicely.{He does}

Loud: So, what brings you to my humble abode?

Charity: Well it's pouring rain outside and I had nothing to do, so I thought that I should pass the time with someone very dear to me.

Loud: Interesting. Does this someone happen to have brown hair, a green shirt, high top sneakers, as well as a complete recovery from the events of November 1999 through Febuary 2000 thanks in part to you and is in fact, me?

Charity:{Playfully}Hmm, I don't know, the description is exactly right, but I could be mistaken.

Loud: Well, with your permission maybe I could try something that might refresh your memory.

Charity: I see, and what might this something be?

Loud: Let me show you.{He leans over to kiss her, but before he does, a doorbell is heard ringing} I shall continue this romantic interlude after I answer the door.{He goes to the door and opens it to reveal Doom}

Doom: Hello, infamous little boy.

Loud: Um, do I know you?

Doom: Not yet, but soon enough you will. But before I get to that, I'd like to ask you a question. Ever since those two incidents with that crazy scientist that tried to kill you because of your vocal talents, how have things been for you?

Loud: At the risk of setting things up for the opposite of what I'm going to say, they've been great, except for one little problem at the end of an awards show. I've finally found peace after months of anything but, I'm rarely reminded of what happened by the public anymore, and I have terrific friends and an even greater girlfriend in Charity here to spend my time with.

Doom: That is rather peaceful. Enjoy this peace and remember my face, because once it ends, my face will be around quite often. A pleasure meeting you, Mr Kiddington, and Ms Bazaar, of course.{He leaves}

Loud: Well, I knew it couldn't last forever, I just knew there had to be someone still bitter.

Charity: But that was a movie character, Judge Doom from the Roger Rabbit movie. He's been, or apparently was, dead for over 50 years, and I doubt he came back to life before or during our adventures, so he wouldn't have seen what happened in person to be bitter over those events.

Loud: Oh that's a relief...but if that's true, why did he still threaten us?

Charity: I'm not happy to say that we'll probably find out soon.

{The next day at the WB lot, the Warners are running around as usual, and then stop. They see a large group of former KWB and LT stars, comprised of the people we already saw visited by Doom, but many others: from A! Slappy, Skippy, and Mr Director, Pinky, Billie, and Brain of course, from TTA, Plucky, Shirley, Fifi, and Elmyra, from Looney Tunes, Speedy, Sylvester and Tweety, from H!, Father Time, Miss Information and Pepper Mills, and even Axel Foley is in this group too}

Wakko: Boy, that's some expo of all our former co-stars. Say, I guess we won't be going around picking up our usual length of characters during the story, because with these guys, we already have our trademark amount!

Dot: Never be sure with these writers, or writer in this case. Let's go see how they went with their meetings with Doom.{They walk towards the group}

Axel: Well [bleeping] well, so the group of former [bleep] has been cartoon stars visited by that [bleep] judge is complete.

Yakko: He visited you too?

Axel: And why he did, I have no [bleeping] idea, cause I'm not a cartoon! Maybe it's because with all my misadventures with you guys over this last year, he must have thought that I was, [bleep] misinformed bad guy!

Father Time: He's also been dead for 50 years, so unless he watched your films, but then again after returning from the underworld, why would he place that as a priority, he doesn't know about your original fame.

Axel: After a whole year of being around you people, he wouldn't be the only one, that's for [bleep] sure.

Slappy:{Bitter}Big deal, so you have a excuse for seeing him, good for you!

Skippy: Gee, Aunt Slappy, you're more bitter that usual today.

Slappy: What do you expect after what he did to me?! When I tried to blow him up like I do to any non handsome man who comes up, he put on 5 layers of armor and didn't get blown to kingdom come, he said he knew me too well to be blown up! Some way to end a half century winning streak.

Plucky: So you didn't get to blow someone up for once, you were stopped by a crazy nut! He said that I wasn't great and I was one of the few that think I am, now how logical is that?!

Shirley:{Sarcastically}Right, it's crazy to think you're not great, because we all know you couldn't be greater if you tried.

Plucky: Thanks for realizing that, maybe I could pay you back later tonight at a fancy resterant.{Shirley zaps him at that pass}

Shirley: Egotistical and unable to detect sarcasm, I see.

Pepper: Ah ha ha, that Doom guy's a grouch! He wouldn't even sign my autograph book, he said he was tired of being mistaken for Christopher Lloyd.

Speedy: He put a brick wall in front of me to make me stop running so I could speak to him.

Sylvester: A brick wall, why didn't I ever think of that? It would have saved me time and a lot of hospital bills.

Daffy: You and me both, brother.

Elmyra: I like him, he said I'd get to see my beloved mousies again! They must be so lonely after leaving me to go to Washington, I have to save them! Where are they?

Brain:{V.O and louder than usual}Oh, Elmyra?!

Elmyra: Gasp, cranky big head mousie! Where are you?

Brain:{V.O} I'm right in front of the studio and not in this gaggle of former cartoon icons.

Elmyra: That is him, I'd recognize those big words anywhere! Don't worry mousies, I'm coming!{She runs away and we now see that the mice are hiding in Buster's shirt pocket and Brain is holding a mouse size megaphone}

Brain: Again, my greatest of thanks Mr Bunny for hiding us so we could get her out of here.

Buster: My pleasure, I myself know the pains of living with her.

Pinky: Aw, couldn't we at least have said hi to her, Brain?

Brain: Absolutely not, any animal that says hello to her is in even more trouble than you are if you say hello to that Walken fellow. And now that's she's gone I can join into this conversation. Now, we need to figure out one important question, just how did the judge get here to visit us all yesterday?

Miss Info: Maybe he took the bus, there are bus stops to this place so he could get here, or maybe he took a cab.

Slappy: No, he didn't mean how he got to our houses, he meant how could he even be here because he's been dead for 53 years! Geez, how mixed up can you get?

Miss Info: Well that doesn't really count as being mixed up because I didn't even know who he was until he visited me, so how could I have known he was dead for that long if I never heard of him?

Slappy: Hmm, that actually is a good point there.

Loud: Not too surprising for someone who truly knows her like me.

Brain: If we're finished with this comic relief, I shall move on. Maybe something strange happened recently that explains why he's here. Have any of you seen or heard anything unusual lately, there might be a connection between that and Doom's revival.

Dot: Wait a minute, the executives didn't come to us about any new Pokemon previews for the new movie, and they didn't promote it as much as they usually do, that's very very unusual.

Pinky: I was wondering why I didn't see more of those neat ads we used to be in, narf!

Brain: For the last time, don't remind of those awful ads we were made to do! But that point is rather strange.

Yakko: Yeah, they also haven't been speaking to us and when they do, they're really nervous about it. Then again, that's what they always are towards us because they know their usual imcomptance will make them our new special friends, but they've been even more so than usual lately.

Fifi: Could zhis strange behavior be connected with zhe judge's return? Shirlee, could you answer zhat question for me?

Shirley:{Looking into her crystal ball}I already knew you would, like, ask me that, so I already started asking my ball that, or some junk. Okay ball, are the idiotic WB execs connected with Doom's totally strange appearances lately?

Voice:{From the ball and like the AOL voice}You've got answers!{The ball reads, "Bet, like, big time on it"}

Daffy: So it is their fault! We gave them the best years of our comedic talent, some bigger than others, and they pay us back like this, those ingrates! Notice I didn't say you're despicable, I'm working on expanding my horizons.

Yakko: In any case, I think we should have a talk with a certain network boss.

{Cut to inside Kellner's office as Kellner is pacing around}

Kellner: Thank goodness it looks like he finally came back, now I just have to hold out a few moments longer. It's almost shocking that I could hide it this long from them.

Brain:{V.O}Ah ha, thank you for that confession!{The group of toons comes in}

Kellner: W-w-what are are all you g-g-guys doing here?

Bugs: Please don't add plagiarizing from Porky as another of your evil deeds.

Kellner: Evil deeds?! Hey, I didn't include you in my Pokemon promotions like I always do so you shouldn't be this angry at me! I have nothing to hide.

Yakko: I guess it's time for the old trademark interrogation scene to prove that you are. I'll need a light and a detective's uniform.

{The lights go off and a overhead light is placed over Kellner as Yakko makes him sit down on a chair, wearing a detective uniform, the scene is now like the trademark interrogation atmosphere}

Kellner: You're making fools of yourselves with this, but when is that new?

Yakko: We'll let your answers be the judge of that. Speaking of judges, what do you know about Judge Doom?

Kellner:{Nervous}Him? Ha ha, well he was a very nasty and evil man, I mean what else can I really say about him, he killed toons and people and plotted to overun Toontown! I'm certainly glad he's not around today to continue his terror laden existence.

Yakko: Then prepare to be unhappy, how do you explain the fact that all of us were visited yesterday by someone who looked and sounded exactly like him and is probably the Judge Doom himself?!

Kellner: Um, they must be shooting a sequel to that movie and Mr Lloyd probably wanted to warm up to make sure he wasn't rusty in the role of the judge.

Yakko: That's funny, I don't recall seeing Mr Lloyd have cartoon weapons for hands like he showed to these people yesterday.

Kellner: It must be a new movie technique, you know they come up with so many new revolutionary special effects. Did you know that..

Yakko: Did you know that you're lying? You don't know what we can do to you to make you talk.

Kellner:{Laughs}You actually think I, your former boss, don't know what you can do to me? Ha ha, go ahead, I know all your tricks, I can't be fooled by any of your old gags, nor can I be fooled by Bugs' wit, Slappy's explosions, the Mexican mouse's speed, the skunk's smell or the kid's yelling, because I know them all!{The ones Kellner mentioned groan because they were just about to try those gags}

Slappy: Geez, did the whole world get smarter overnight?

Billie: Trust me and Eggy, that question isn't unworkable.

Axel: Step aside, you crazy [bleeps], I'll handle this.{To Kellner}You know, as a network boss you see a lot of God awful movie scripts, but as the one that has to work from them, I know more so how awful they are. Let me show you some of the terrible scripts I had to work with.{He pulls out several scripts}

Kellner:{In shock}Beverly Hills Cop 2 and 3?! Metro?! Another 48 Hours?! Holy Man?! Gasp, no, not The Golden Child too!

Axel: That's right, read all of my trashy movies, and I have lots more awful ones from other [bleep] studios that I won't have to show you if you talk.

Yakko:{impersonating Brando}The horror, the horror.

Kellner: Get those things away from me!

Axel: Not before you read a script that your own company approved, for some reason they thought it'd be a good movie but now read what turned into the [bleepingest] movie of the new millenium!{He pulls out another script}

Kellner: B-Battlefield:Earth?! No, stop, anything but that!! Okay, I confess, I'm guilty, just no more awful scripts! We were planning to bring back something that would make sure you people didn't interfere with our advertising for the Pokemon movie, and Doom turned out to be it! Now he's probably going to dip all the Pokemon because I told you about it!{He cries}

Babs: For someone like you, it would almost be a logical reason. But why didn't you tell us in secret so Doom wouldn't know?

Kellner: He has the entire lot bugged so he'd know everything I told you, he's adapted to technology well. And he's probably on his way to dip my Pokemon now.

{Just then a knock on Kellner's door is heard}

Kellner: Who's there? If it's my colleagues, don't kill me for confessing, you would too at the horror they showed me!

{The door knocks again, and this time, it's to the first 5 notes of "Shave and a Haircut" Outside, we see a cane tapping those 5 notes again on the door. The toons are shocked}

Mr Director: No, anything but that tune with the shaving and haircuts and the end part no toon can resist saying, and that goes for directors too!

Buster: Quick, cover your ears so you can't hear it!{They all do, except for Kellner. but it's no good since the tapping is now louder}

Tweety: Wuckly I can stop hearing that by fwying away! So wong!{He starts to fly out the window but can still hear the tapping and he comes back}Wats, it is true, no one can wesist that music!

Billie: Let's just think thoughts other than this so we won't be able to pay attention to the sound! Happy thoughts!{Looks at Pinky}There's a happy thought right there.{Everyone starts saying their happy thoughts}

Yakko/Wakko: Hello Nurse, Hello Nurse!

Dot: Mel, oh you can be my patriot any day of the week.

Brain: A huge crowd worshipping me, a huge crowd worshipping me!

Daffy: Zillions of dollars and fame all to myself, and this time there'll be no greedy ghost benefactors to take it away like last time!

Plucky: Hey, except for the ghost benefactor stuff, that was my happy thought entirely!{The toons can now barely resist the tapping, and now we can see Doom tapping his cane on a wall}

Doom: Shave, and a haircut.{At this, everyone comes out of the room}

Everyone: TWO BITS!!{Doom then grabs a hose and sprays a green liquid on all of them}

Pepper: AHH! We're being dipped!!

Dot: Quick, try to get some off so there might be half of us left!{Everyone panics, trying to get the Dip off except for Axel}

Axel: There goes another reason why I'm glad I'm not a cartoon, at least I can die with some dignity.

Pinky: Oh, we're probably dead by now! Hmm, did you notice that heaven is a lot like Earth and has the exact same scenery? Gasp, we must be in another alternate universe, where are our alternate selfs?

Brain: Thankfully this isn't another universe, we aren't even dead! This isn't Dip at all!

Doom: Good for you, I just thought I'd give you a scare by spraying you with this green water I found in that polluted lake.

Slappy: You mean you sprayed us with icky water?! Ick! Not even I'm that nasty!{To Plucky}And don't interrupt me by bringing up the pollution issue with that "Toxic Revenger" character thingie again.

Plucky: Don't worry, as if you actually think I wanted to follow Mr Spielberg's orders to do that hooey.

Slappy:{To Doom}Anyway, you'd better tell us why you're threating us like this and doing this stuff when we didn't do anything to you, or else you'll need a million layers of armor to protect you from the dynamite I'll make you meet!

Doom: You're right, you aren't the ones I want. But you can bring me the ones I do want. You recall that I was originally sent out of here by Eddie Valiant and Roger and Jessica Rabbit, I'd really like to repay them for that. I want you all to bring them here to me so I can get my revenge on them, if you do I will leave you all alone and never bother you again, but if you don't I will dip you all for real.

Kellner: What about my Pokemon?!

Doom: If they succeed in my order I'll leave them alone too, but if not they will join you in the next life. By the way, you should know now that you worried for nothing, I never had your lot bugged at all, the technology was too confusing. But still, I advise you not to cross me, I've acquired powerful allies, state of the art technology, and gallon after gallon of real Dip. If you don't want to meet these things up close on your last moments in life, I suggest you do as I say.

Sylvester: Wait just a flower picking minute, why are you asking us to do this, can't you hire those guys from the other studio, they deserve it more.

Doom: The answer will come all in good time, my hungry, lisp speaking friend, all in good time. Speaking of good time, you'd better make it in getting them here, I won't be waiting for very long.

Yakko: Hold it, you must be joking, I mean do you really think we can get the rabbits here from Toontown that quickly as well as get your detective friend who is probably somewhere very different than here?

Doom: I didn't say I cared how you got them, just do it! Otherwise I hope you all have wills handy, but what good will they be if they're left to people who'll be sharing your fate? Do what I ask and you won't have to answer that question. I'll see you then.{He leaves}

Loud: WHAT A GROUCH!

Babs: You forgot nut and maniac.{impersonating Bogart}So, it 's quite fitting that we face a villain from a murder mystery film and have to face a mystery ourselves, and that is, how do we fulfill his task before we take the big sleep?

Bugs: We can at least get two out of three easily. Remember I lived in Toontown with Roger and Jessica and know them very well. I can call them and ask them to come here, they'll have to accept my help being a friend of theirs.

Daffy: Wait a minute, why can't I ask them, they'd accept my help more than yours!

Bugs: After the way you ogled Jessica everytime you saw her, I really doubt that.

Daffy: Hey, if she didn't want males going gaga over her, she should never have let them make her so beautiful!

Wakko: I hope you didn't rip off that one from me and Yakko's list of excuses.

Bugs:{Holding a cell phone}Okay, I just called them and they'll meet us outside in a few minutes.

Kellner: Wait! Before you go, you'll need Plotz.

Yakko: We know, but with the writers' insanity and obssesion with our old gags, who has time to remember the plot?{Rim shot}

Kellner: No, Mr Plotz! I want him to come with you so I'll know what's going on.{Plotz comes in}

Plotz: Why do I have to do this, can't you send Mr Melman or Allen instead?!

Kellner: Mr Melman, in his own words, has had enough of these adventures, and Allen said he was too busy working on something, besides you're more experienced with these people, and I need to know if our Japanese friends are safe, or if I should have them sent away before Doom gets them.

Plotz: I certainly agree that that's a big priority. Well, I suppose we all have mutual interests here, and we'll have to put our differences aside for now if we're all going to be safe. Truce?

Slappy: Oh, for the love of the Bushes! All right, but don't think we're gonna enjoy this.

Plotz: I couldn't be feeling the same way more if I tried. All right, let's go and meet the Rabbits and get this over with quickly.

{Outside the lot a little later on, the group is standing and waiting for the rabbits}

Charity: Did we give them the right directions on how to get here, because otherwise I don't know why they haven't arrived yet.

Buster: Don't worry, as a rabbit I know that we tend to use dramatic entrances to introduce ourselves, so they're probably getting ready for theirs.

Voice:{V.O from above}How right you are! In fact, look up and see what kind of entrance I hastly thought up!

{They look up in the air, then see that a trampoline has fallen onto the ground. Then they see a plane flying above them, and then see something falling out. That something turns out to be Roger Rabbit, screaming uncontrollably as he falls above the trampoline, but then he lands on it and makes a dignified jump onto the ground}

Roger: Ta da! Please, no applause, although not to brag, but my previous attempts to get crowds to do that after that trick didn't work too well.

Bugs: Hello Roger, we're all very happy to see that you got here.

Roger: Well, anything for a friend, and after you told me that that vile villain Doom had come back, then threatened to dip you all if we didn't show up{Angry}which is a nasty trick fitting for a cruel, evil, demented, psychotic, and ruthless villain like Doom...{calm}that was just the icing on the carrot cake.

Bugs: Well, let me introduce you to the others that you'll be saving.

Roger: No need, because first I know that running down the list of all of you would take hours, and that I know who all of you are already. We watched you a lot and we too aren't happy about the treatment those mean black suited executive people gave you.

Plotz: When I agreed to a truce, I didn't say you could continue to insult us! And I'm blue suited, not black!

Brain: Technically you agreed to it before the new rabbit got here, so he wouldn't know. And frankly I can't think of an end joke about you to end that statement like everyone else.

Plucky: Speaking of "we" Rog, where exactly is your wife?

Babs: Well, I guess it's time for our usual annoyed reactions to their chauvinistic behavior.

Dot: I'm getting a little tired of that, let's just read some girlie magazines while they slobber so we can't pay attention to them and can't get annoyed.

Shirley: That is such a good idea and, like, is so different from the usual formula, or some junk.

Dot: I try, I try.

Roger: Well, since you probably won't be satisfied until she does get here, I may as well get it over with. Jessica, could you come and meet my new friends now?

Sultry Voice: All right Roger darling, we may as well get it out of the way now than later.

{Jessica Rabbit then walks in in her usual seductive way. While all the girls are reading magazines like Dot said and don't pay attention to her, all the men of course go crazy, except for the four mice, Skippy and Sylvester because they're of a different species{though that doesn't stop Daffy}Bugs because he's likely used to seeing Jessica, Father Time because he's too old, and Loud because he's too young and is already taken}

Jessica: I'm just glad I've seen this scene so many times that I've developed an immunity towards getting mad over it, thankfully for them.

Roger: And as always, that's exactly the reason why I haven't made up for your lack of anger by creating my own over this.

Mr Director: Hello, nice and lovely lady! You know, when this is all over I could have a spot for you in one of my movies with the acting and hours of makeup and the gunning for Academy Awards, fronglavin!

Jessica: Let me guess, I'd be in the role of the barely clothed, defenseless "heroine", right?

Mr Director:{Serious}Well, in all seriousness if I cast you in a movie and didn't put you in that role, millions of male moviegoers would tear me limb from limb. Besides, didn't you have experience in that role in your film 12 years ago?

Plotz: Hey, I have more power than you, so I should get to talk to her!

Mr Director: But it's my movie, and I make the casting calls, Mr not so nice exec type guy!

Plotz: But I finance your films and I have the authority to replace you, so you can spare yourself an example of that authority by letting me near her!

Brain: Enough of this embarrassing and demeaning behavior! Now, as happy as we are that you two are here, you're only 2/3'rds of what the judge wants.

Roger: Oh, you're talking about Eddie! Well, that would be harder to get, wouldn't it, not unless you figured out a way to travel to the big place upstairs as well as travel to other universes.

Miss Info:{Sad}So you're saying that that poor detective who finally got a sense of humor after beating Doom the first time and also avenged his brother's death is now with him up there?

Roger: Well, even if he wasn't, I don't think Doom would be happy with having to get revenge on a very old guy, but then again old guys do succeed in these adventures through their incompetence, so maybe if he was alive we'd still have a chance! But, we won't be able to find that out, will we? Now let's never mention it again before my eyes turn into a mini Niagara Falls.

Brain: We have to figure out something, if we don't he'll dip us all. I must ponder harder than ever before if I'm to figure a way out of this pickle.{Ponders hard for a moment and then brightens up}That's it! Billie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Billie:{Gasps in panic}What happened to Pinky?! You always ask him that question, so if you're asking me now something must be wrong with him! Please tell me what!

Brain: Nothing wrong, it's just that he's over there with Mr Roger raving about his movie, and I don't think he'll be stopping for a while. Therefore since you're the closest one here I must ask you, so are you pondering what I'm pondering? At least there's a good chance that you actually are.

Billie: I might have, but after worrying about Pinky I probably forget anything I was thinking about before then.

Brain: Then I suggest you hear this. Everybody, please listen. Since Mr Valiant can't be here in the present, we'll have to get him from the past, specifically the real world in 1947 LA.

Slappy: Not another time travel trip thing, I thought you'd be sick even mentioning those words after those zillions of other misadventures.

Brain: Very true, but we have to go on one more before we take our last bath.{Pause}Drat, those stupid end liners Doom says have rubbed off on me!

Pinky: Egad Brain, brilliant! Oh, no, wait a minute, I don't know if Doc Brown would let us borrow the DeLorean after what Mr Foley did with it last time.

Axel: One [bleeping] mistake of temporary insanity and no one lets you forget about it.

Brain: We're not using that car this time, not if my hunch is right. Plotz, do you still have that time machine used to bring back all those dead celeberties in the Harley Awards?

Plotz: Why yes, Mr Melman insisted that we keep it, he said that after the awards become as big as the Oscars, people are going to want to see a piece of the ceremony that started it all.

Brain: Yes! Can you take us to it?

Roger: Yes, Mr P-P-Plotz, p-p-p-please?

Yakko: I must be psychic, because I knew he was gonna say that!

Shirley: That's not looking into the future, all that was just predictability and a reuse of an infamous catch phrase. Leave the pyschic stuff to the professionals, k?

{The group of toons then leaves to find the time machine, and now we see Elmyra still looking around the lot}

Elmyra: Hee hee, this game of hide and seek is fun, mousies! It'll be even more fun once I finally find you and take you back home, though I haven't heard you since we began this game. Oh well, it'll be well worth the wait!

{We now see Elmyra's antics on a monitor somewhere else. Now we also see that Doom is looking at it}

Doom: Heh, so now they're going on another time travel escapade. I guess now's the time to plan a little welcome back to the 21'st century surprise.

{Doom walks from the monitor and we see he's in a very strange and large room, filled with gadgets, strange devices, it's basically the trademark villains hideout. We also see that there are several gallons of Dip too}

Doom: But before that I'll need to see if my henchmen are prepared for such a task. And for that answer I'll need to talk to the woman who brought them to me, Oh Laura!{Dr Laura herself comes into view}

Dr Laura: What is it, Judge?

Doom: Are your legions of ninja thugs ready for action?

Dr Laura: They're as ready as they'll ever be, and they actually have better aim than most of my other legions with those new weapons of yours.

Doom: Terrific, because this is the time when we find out if my choices in allies were good ones, as you know you were hired because you dealt with those toons before and have your many legions of ninja thugs to offer.

Dr Laura: And I'm very happy you chose me also for the first reason. Do you know how long it takes to heal from the countless explosions they use in their Final Confrontations, and it's even more painful to wait for the right chance to get revenge! I'm certainly glad you gave me the opportunity to help get rid of those immoral toons once and for all! Plus, if this fails I can always go back to my original plan for that top secret vllains society.

Doom: I'm sure you'll make my choice a stroke of genius for me.{He takes out a wristwatch with a monitor just like Allen's and talks to it}And I hope your devices will help make the decision to include you three in this equally brilliant!

{We now see that he's talking to the three Circle members on the monitor and in a different jail cell}

Wally: Don't worry, Mr Doom, we're not the kind of guys that build malfunctioning devices that fail in idiotic slapstick ways.

Big Guy: Yes, although we tried so hard to capture the Brain so he could build stuff for us, we're not so dumb that we can't build workable things ourselves.

Doom: I hope not, though with the demands you made and my work in fulfilling them, tranferring you to a Burbank jail from Washington and having you put in an isolated cell where no one can see the work you're doing, as well as promising that I'll have you released from jail if everything works well, I don't doubt that your devices are less than great.

Dr Shale: You've got that right, I guess we should get off now to continue to make sure that that other scientist you hired has a very boring job. See you later, Judge.{The monitor on the wristwatch is turned
off}

Big Guy: This had better work, Mr Faust. Although we're isolated from the other prisoners and 95% of the guards like we asked him to do, I'm still shocked we've managed to keep our work a secret this long.

Wally: If anyone could do it, it's us. But it's a bit regretful that after we spent all this time trying to capture Brain, we're now going to help get rid of him, which makes our year long search for him really pointless.

Dr Shale: I'm just glad you finally realized my advice to get rid of him was the right thing to do, although it's sad that it took us being imprisoned for over a year to do it. But this plan is working great so far, Mr Faust's friend has done a terrific job in helping this happen.

Wally: Yes, it's because of him that we've gotten to this point, and after our help aids Doom in his complex plan, once we tell him that it's because of us that he's even here, it'll give him more reason to help us take over the world!{He laughs maniacally until a guard rushes over and taps his nightstick on the bars}

Guard: Hey Faust, how many times do I have to warn you and your friends about laughing like that?!

{Back at Doom's hideout, he is talking to the two FCC agents from "Radio Free Warners"}

FCC Agent 1:{In his usual bland voice}You know that the FCC is behind you in this operation after what those toons did to us the last time we met them, Mr Doom, but again we must warn you not to go too far in doing it.

FCC Agent 2:{In his bland voice}Yes, as you know we're very strict in our association with cartoons, and our association with your plan will be no different. These ominious devices certainly don't help.

Voice:{Sounding like Vincent Price}Don't be paranoid about them, that's the good guys' job.{We now see the voice belongs to the Evil Scientist from "Water Water Every Hare"}All these things are is vehicles to shoot out the very thing you approved him to use, so there's no need to worry.

Doom: That's right, and that's why I hired you, to build the stuff I can't wait a few days for The Circle to deliver to me, and for nostagic purposes since you first appeared in the same era I came from.

Scientist: And I joined you on your word that you'd let a few of your enemies be taken by me so I can use their brains for all new creations. Gossamer could use some competition after almost 50 years.

Agent 1: Please, don't mention that red monster again, he still gives me the chilly-willies.

Doom: In any case you'll get your wish, Scientist, and so will everyone in this room and in Burbank Maximum Security Prison Cell 17-A. And once those toons finish their trip to the real world in 1947, they'll see how determined we are to making sure our wishes come true.{Laughs evily along with everyone else}

{Inside a studio, the toons are now nearby the Histeria time machine used in the Harley Awards}

Roger: Wow, very impressive, although with all the overbearing special effects in summer movies like mine, this is tame by comparision.

Brain: True, although with my schedule I don't have time to prove the special effects part, but this is still going to be the thing we need to bring back Mr Valiant and get us off the hook.

Speedy: But it's going to be muy loco to figure out how to work this thing because none of use have seen this in action before.

Dot: Don't worry, if bumbling villains like Moe, Mikey, and Sheryl can work this thing to bring back a deadly robot, there's no reason we can't make it work to go back in time.{To Loud}No offense in mentioning the robot.

Brain: She's right, this seems easy enough to figure out. The Rabbits should get inside the machine right now, then Billie and I will activate it and send them to the real world in 1947. We should go with them too to help convince Mr Valiant we're from the future.

Pinky: We're from the future? Why didn't anyone tell me all this time that we come from the future, that's fun fun fun! What year did we start out in?

Brain: I won't dignify that with another bop to the head, so let's just start the machine.

{The mice go to the controls as Roger and Jessica go inside. Soon enough the machine activates and a monitor nearby reads "Sending back to 1947 Los Angeles" At reading that, the mice jump inside with the Rabbits and soon disappear. Fade to an alley in the real world, which soon is no longer unpopulated because the rabbits and mice fall onto the ground there. After they recover from the fall they look around}

Brain: So this is the real world, it's just like I always thought it was. At least here there probably isn't any of the insanity and disorder there is in the toon world, a place of peace and order.

Roger: That's not entirely correct, look!{We see that they are right near the Maroon Cartoon Studio, where toons are running about}My old home away from home, and as I recall, the me from 1947 wasn't here at this time, so I can talk to my friends without altering the time continu-whazzit!{He runs towards the studio}

Brain: He has a very one track mind, doesn't he?

Jessica: Yes, but that's him in a nutshell, he just wants to have fun and be with toons that help make his fun more fun. He's crazy, and that's why I love him.

Billie: I thought you loved him because he makes you laugh.

Jessica: That's just one of the reasons, but I'm sure Brain will say now, "There's no time to hear them now, we have a job to do", right?

Brain: You know me pretty well, I must admit. But that is a good idea.

Pinky: Come on Brain, I wanna meet all the lovely people here, can't our job wait a little while, its not like we have to do it right this second.

Brain:{Sacrastic}Sure, we'll have our fun, and then since we'll wind up being with them for hours with their craziness, in our world Doom will get impatient and when we come back we'll see all our friends in puddles of Dip containing their only remains. But then again, it was all for fun, so why complain?

Pinky: Um, then again a little work before play never hurt anyone except Jack Nicholson.{Roger comes back}

Roger: Well, I just made sure you didn't have any extra work to do by coming back myself instead of you pulling me away from there. Now, as I remember, ourselves from 1947 visited Eddie an hour ago, so we can go right now to his office and not have to worry about all that stuff you've been talking about.

Brain: Good, but I certainly hope that when we get there he doesn't mistake us mice for D*sney creations. Let's go and see if that worry comes true, among other things we came here to do.

{Cut to an obvious detective's office, filled with pictures and many other things a detective would have. We then see a desk in the center of the office, and sitting in front of it is Eddie Valiant. He's looking much less world weary and serious than when we last saw him. A knock is then heard on the front door and he gets up}

Eddie: All right, keep your pants on, though if you're a toon you probably don't have pants and therefore can ignore that, I'm coming!{He opens the door and sees Roger standing on his ears}

Roger: Eddie, thank goodness I caught up with you, something's gone horribly wrong! I ran into one of those evil scientists in our cartoons and he used me as a test subject, now my legs don't work and I have to stand on my ears! Now how am I gonna unlock myself from cages and stuff if I have to stand on my instrument of release?!

Eddie: Ha, good going Roger, I will admit you're getting better with these fake problems, though you could stand to be a bit more logical.

Roger:{Now standing on his feet again}But I'm a toon, logic rarely serves any purpose for us.

Eddie: Oh, don't I know it. So, are you here for any others reasons than these jokes?

Jessica:{Walking in}Actually we are, and unfortunately you'll likely laugh at why we're here, which isn't meant to be funny unlike my husband's joke. We're not the Roger and Jessica you know, we're the Roger and Jessica from the year 2000 and we need your help!

Eddie:{Laughing}Hah, you couldn't be more right on that first part!

Roger: I guess that's what you get for giving a guy his sense of humor back, he laughs even at the stuff you don't mean to be funny.

Eddie: Well, let me play along for a while. If you're from the year 2000, why don't you look older?

Roger: Everyone knows toons only age when the laughter stops and we become forgotten. We almost dealt with that in the 80's until they made a movie about our exploits a month ago in 1988. After that we stayed healthy and that was the end of my first flirting with something other than my wife.

Eddie: A movie about us, heh, you are getting more original.

Jessica: All right then, how would you explain the new friends we have with us?{Eddie sees the mice}

Eddie: Hmm, what studio recently created you little people? 

Brain: Warner Brothers, though that was in 1993. I am The Brain, a genetically altered lab mouse trying to take over the world, though now I too need your help to make sure I live to plan another day. These are my associates, Pinky and Billie. 

Pinky: Oh, it's great to meet you, Mr Hoskins, you were great in that..{Brain covers his mouth} 

Brain: Heh, he is quite insane, so it's easy to see why he'd mistake you for someone else.  

Eddie: I can't think of any other reason because I don't know a Mr Hoskins.

Pinky: But he was the guy who played you in..{Brain covers his mouth again}

Billie: Heh, don't worry Mr Valiant, his sense of humor grows on you, trust me. But it's not a joke that we are from the year 2000.

Eddie: I do credit you for thinking of a good joke like saying you're from the future, did you get it from those Buck Rogers movies?

Brain: Well, I suppose you'll have to see it for yourself to prove it to you. Stand right near us please.{He does and Brain then pulls out a mouse sized walkie talkie}You can bring us back now.

Axel:{From the talkie}It's about [bleep] time, you [bleepers] have no idea what it's like to wait like this only imagining what's going on with you in a strange world like the real one. 

Billie: I'd personally deny that conclusion.{A light appears below them} 

Roger: Eddie, in the words of Bette Davis, fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride. 

Eddie: I don't recall hearing her say th-

{He's cut off as he and the others disappear. All kinds of scenery surrounds them as they head back to the present, making Eddie scream in panic. Soon enough they wind up back in the time machine. Eddie is dazed from the trip and then he sees the others}

Eddie: Whoh, I didn't think anything could be made that's faster than the train, but you proved me wrong. Who are you toons and where in Toontown am I?

Yakko: Eddie, I don't think you're in Toontown anymore.

Eddie: Technically that's the wrong statement to say because I never lived there, so that would defeat the purpose of that quote because that's not where I live.

Yakko: You know, these foilings of our jokes is getting a little old.

Bugs: Disregarding that little Wizard of Oz crack, I still may as well introduce you to the toons here that you don't know, unlike me and my other friends.

Eddie: Okay, but don't try any funny stuff like you did with that "spare parachute" a month ago.

Bugs: Make that 53 years ago. But despite my bag of tricks, no one has more of it full than the Warners here.

Eddie:{To the Warners}What kind of toons are you supposed to be, dogs, cats, really tall mice? 

Yakko: Nope. I'm Yakko.

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm cute, but other than that people call me Dot.

Yakko: Well well well, she who complains so often about old jokes willingly does one herself.

Dot: Hey, there are some old gags less objectionable than others, that was one of them.

Eddie: Wow, I wonder how Jack Warner and his guys got the idea for those toons.

Bugs: I wouldn't know because he didn't create them, and he didn't create the Tiny Toons gang either, who first brought back the WB from its animation doldrums after me and the others got the boot. And boy, let me tell you the pain from that boot literally didn't go away for weeks.

Eddie:{To the TTA gang}Why do you look like younger versions of the Looney Tunes guys?

Buster: Cause that was the vision of the great Mr Spielberg, who had a hand in creating all of us, except for the former stars of Histeria! over there.{The H! stars politely say hello at once, except for Pepper, who rushes over to Eddie}

Pepper: Ah ha ha, it's you, I can't believe they succeeded in bringing you here!

Eddie: Well a hyperactive teenager is hardly someone I don't see everyday, futher proving this whole future joke was certainly good, but not quite succesful.

Plotz: Okay, then how do you explain the shape and design of the Warner Brothers studio lot we're now in, smart guy?{Eddie goes outside and looks at the lot, then comes back}

Eddie: Good job with the paint job and redesigning also.

Plotz:{Growling}Then I suppose there's little choice left but to show you something that will prove what year we're in. Follow me into my office where I will show you the cartoon series beloved by everyone except them over there.

Yakko: No, don't go Eddie, you'll be subjected to first class horror all the way if you see that, believe me, we know all too well!

Plotz: Hey, this is going to help you for once by convincing him where he is, so call off your dogs! And no jokes about real dogs either!

Wakko:{Holding real dogs by the leashes}Aw, this story isn't that fun anymore!{Eddie leaves with Plotz}

Pepper: Wait, come back, Mr J.J. Gittes! You haven't signed my book and told me amusing stories about Faye Dunaway yet!

{Later on, Eddie and Plotz come back, Eddie is far more uneasy than when he left} 

Slappy: Well, they tried to warn you about all the terror you just witnessed, so don't take it out on us.

Eddie: I witnessed horror before I saw that cartoon. I always though that radio box with pictures wouldn't last long, but now it's even more horrfiying to see I was wrong, after all those things I saw like "pay per view" 200 channels, and sports channels everywhere, and 5 under that strange "FSPM" name. Oh, and the actual show he showed me was pretty bad too, but not as much as the thing it was on. Plotz here was happy when I said that about that show.

Roger: Good, but I just hope that whole thing didn't turn you off to the future, it's fun once you get used to it. Unfortunately we brought you here for something that wasn't fun at all for once.

Eddie: Which is what?

Wakko: Well, you know that guy Judge Doom that killed your brother and whom you got rid of all those years ago? The thing is, he's not dead anymore, but he'll make us that same way if we don't bring you and the Rabbits to him.

Eddie: Have toons gotten meaner in the future, because you must be to make up something like that.

Mr Director: Hoyle, that's just perfect, now we gotta spend even more time convincing him he's here without it being proven to him by seeing Doom send us to the big cut, print, that's a wrap place, flamiel!

Voice: Before you do that, it'd be kind of you to come out here please.{The group comes outside to see two men holding a small package}

Man: This is a package deal to the former WB toons, sign here please.

Fifi: Would it be too much trouble to ask what we're signing for?

Man 2: Hey, it's a surprise, and if we told you, it would ruin it, so sign on this paper, please?{He gets out a piece of paper and they sign it}Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Thank you.

{They leave behind the package and go away, and then we see that the men were really the FCC agents in disguise}

Agent 1:{Talking blandly again}Phew, thank goodness, I'm surprised the helium we inhailed held out for that long.

Agent 2: It'll all be worth it though once they find out what that package is and the boss's plan can begin. Ha ha ha ha.

{We now see that the toons and human have found out that the package is a tape recorder, with a tape in it. They then press play and hear Doom's voice, acompanied by the original Mission:Impossible theme music}

Doom: Good afternoon toons. If you are listening to this you have succeeded in my order, and now the time has come to make it official. You shall all travel to the studio which that director turned into an Apocalypse Now-esque jungle a while back, and Mr Valiant is excused if he hasn't yet found out what that movie is.

Eddie:{In shock}That really is Doom, no one could impersonate him that accuratly.

Doom: Once you get to the studio, I shall meet my three enemies, and you will never be bothered by me again. This message will self destruct in 4 seconds..whoops, I meant 2 seconds.{The recorder explodes}

Yakko: Well, that spares us a lot of breath explaining why you're here.{Eddie does not pay attention, he only looks angry}Um, Edster, did you hear me?

Roger: Nope, it's the usual situation once you find out your old enemy is back from the dead, you stare like that, then scream your rage out in a memorable catch phrase. That should take place...now!

Eddie: Doom...Doom, you son of a [bleep]!

Axel: Ooh, pretty [bleep] impressive.

Jessica: Now now, there's no reason to pour out your rage now when you can follow his orders and show it to him in person.

Plotz: And what better way to do so than to defeat him so our lives will be spared, as well as the ones you just saw also.

Eddie: Well, that last part is less of a motivation, but still it's a good point. Okay, the judge made a mistake in coming back, threating you and making me come here to this terrible place to have the peace I acquired after my first defeat of Doom destroyed. Let's go make him realize what a mistake that was.

Loud: TO MR DIRECTOR'S FORMER APOCALYPTIC STUDIO!


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