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THE JETSIBS

by Brainatra


[We fade into a flying Jetsons-style car, with Yakko at the helm, wearing clothing similar to George Jetson's. An A! version of the "Jetsons" theme music is heard in the background. Yakko flies over what looks like a "futuristic" version of the WB Studio, with all the buildings on supports similar to the "Jetsons" cities. We see Yakko's heading towards the water tower, the base of which rests on a concrete space supported by the same support poles as all the other buildings. Yakko lands the car on the concrete near the water tower's base, and enters a pneumatic tube attached in the center of the tower's base. Yakko goes up into the tower, where we see the inside done in a "futuristic" looking decor. Wakko and Dot enter, dressed like Elroy Jetson and Jane Jetson, respectively.]

YAKKO: Greetings, Jetsibs! How's my favorite "space age" family today?

DOT: Pleased to not have to be voiced by 1980's pop singer Tiffany?

WAKKO: Starving! [Wakko walks over to a food dispenser device, and presses a few buttons; instantly, a 7-course meal materializes in front of him]

WAKKO: [grinning broadly] I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm already starting to like this story! [Wakko begins chowing down on a turkey]

DOT: Oh-kaay...well, I guess Wakko's gonna be busy for awhile. What do you want to do, Yakko?

YAKKO: Let's see what's on TV here; maybe they actually carry the Cartoon Network *here*!

DOT: OK!

YAKKO: [flips through a TV guide, which has on the cover a picture of the cast of "Futurama"] Let's see what's on..."Space Jam", "Space: 1999", "Lost in Space",  "Deep Space Nine"...guys, I sense a whole lotta lame "space" references and puns coming down the pike in this story...

DOT: [annoyed] Imagine my joy...

[Yakko walks over to a couch, and sits down. He presses a button on a remote, and up comes a holographic image from the screen of Minerva Mink, engaged in her usual hair-brushing routine...]

YAKKO:  [going into the usual hysterics] *Hellooooo, 3-D Nurse!* [begins drooling; his tongue hits the floor...]

[Wakko, wandering over to see what's made Yakko so excited, begins behaving in a similar manner at the holographic projection of Minerva; Wakko whips out his mallet, and begins hitting himself on the head repeatedly...]

DOT: [quite annoyed] *Hmph*...*boys*!

YAKKO: I think *I* definitely like this story, too! [Dot snatches the remote from the drooling duo, and switches it off, startling Yakko and Wakko.]

YAKKO: Hey, why'd you do that for?!

DOT: [annoyed sounding] So this story can actually progress beyond focusing on the two of you's hormones, that's why! [muttering to herself] I wonder if that holographic TV picks up "E.R." reruns...helloooo, 3-D George Clooney nurse!

WAKKO: Awwww...well, back to eating! [Wakko heads back to the pile of food, only to find standing there is Slappy. Slappy's wearing a maid's bonnet, an apron, and has two antennae sticking out of her neck. She also has a Hoosier™ vacuum cleaner strapped to her back]

SLAPPY: Geez louise, I can't believe this! This vacuum cleaner doohickey here's killin' my back! My agent's gonna get a *double*-helpin' of dynamite by the time I'm done...

WAKKO: Who're *you* supposed to be?

SLAPPY: I'm Slappy, the Robot Maid! Or somethin' resemblin' a lifeless automation besides this plot, *heh*!

DOT: Well, Slappy, could you clean up this mess Wakko made, *pleeeease*?

SLAPPY: Yeah, yeah, comin' right up, already....[Slappy starts vacuuming up Wakko's mess, but starts to feel the strain of carrying the vacuum cleaner]

YAKKO: Aaaaah, shouldn't you have a bunch of hoses or some scrubbers or something attached to you along with that vacuum, being the "robot maid of tomorrow" or something?

SLAPPY: Yeah, right---it's bad enough I'm walkin' around with this vacuum-doohickey on my back as it is, let alone--- aah, ferget this, I'm sittin' down...[Slappy sets down the vacuum cleaner, walks over to sit down on the couch, and turns on the holographic TV] Aah, this feels more like it...maybe I can watch that  Kitty...Birdy...Egg McMuffin....KFC....Pepsi...Big Honkin' Cartoonie Show" thing....[pauses a moment]

*Naaaaah*. [flips to some action movie with a car chase scene in it]

[the Warners turn to each other]

DOT: Well, that was *very* pointless.

SLAPPY: [from off-screen] I heard that!

WAKKO: So now what do we do? This thing's already run on farther than that "Flintwarners" story ever did!

YAKKO: Yeah, but we actually *like* it here with all these neat gadgets of ours, remember?

WAKKO: Oh, yeah...let's have some fun, then!

Y&D: OK!

[with that "zany" trumpet music as heard in the title scene of "The Big Candy Store" playing, the Warners begin careening wildly about their futuristic living quarters. Wakko continues to dispense and ingest mass quantities of food from the food dispenser, Dot starts punching an assortment of buttons on various consoles randomly, and Yakko's managed to wrangle control of the holographic TV remote control away from Slappy and is channel surfing at about Warp Factor 5 while jumping up and down on the couch; Slappy, greatly annoyed, decides to go off to a neighboring room to ride out the rest of this scene away from the Warners...]

[suddenly, a beeping noise emanates from a digital clock on the wall, causing all 3 Warners to stop what they're doing]

YAKKO: Hey, what's that sound mean?

WAKKO: [mouth half-full with pumpkin pie] Uh...time to order another round of dessert? [Wakko pushes some more buttons, and out comes more pumpkin pie]

*BURRP*! [grins sheepishly] Pardon me...

SLAPPY: [off-screen, but quite loudly] *No*, it means that it's time for you Warner kids to get ta work! And let *me* have some peace and quiet...

YAKKO: Oh, yeah! Work! We've gotta pay for our neat-o "space age" gadgets *somehow*!

WAKKO: Faboo! [Wakko pushes some more buttons on the food dispenser, pulls out his "gag bag", and fills it up with various foodstuffs] I'm ready! Let's go!

[the Warners leave the tower in the pneumatic tube, head down to their car, and take off for work, with shouts of "it's *my* turn!" and "I never get to drive!" being heard]

[Slappy enters the now-empty main room, seeing what a mess the Warners' pandemonium has left it]

SLAPPY: Can't believe they expect *me* to play "robot maid" and clean this---ah, ferget it! [Slappy plops back down in front of the holographic TV, and tunes in a soap opera; Slappy then presses a button on the couch, and out pops up a diet walnut soda and a bowl of popcorn; another button press, and an automatic foot massager pops out of the floor, and begins masseusing Slappy's feet...]

SLAPPY: [relaxed sounding] Aaaaah....*definitely* much better than that "Pokemon" chainlink thingamajig...I may not even have to waste that extra TNT on my agent, heh...

[cut to a building labeled "Spacey's Widgets", with the Warner's car parked out front. Fade into the interior of the building, with the Warners arriving into an office with consoles and monitors everywhere; sounds similar to the original series' U.S.S. Enterprise's bridge can be heard.]

WAKKO: So, just what are we supposed to be doing here, anyway?

DOT: [pulls out script, scans through it] I think we're supposed to look busy until the boss, "Mr. Spacey", starts yelling at us for no apparent reason.

Y&W: Okay!

[the Warners start rapidly pressing various buttons randomly, as similar to before, with the same music as before, only faster-paced. Suddenly, a loudspeaker comes on...]

VOICE: [ear-splittingly loud] *JET-SIIIIBS*!!

[the sound of this makes the Warners freeze in mid-button-pressing frenzy, and cover their ears]

YAKKO: *Man*, Pepper Mills has *nothing* on this guy's voice!

DOT: I'll say!

VOICE: This is Mr. Spacey, your boss; I need you three in *my office*, within the next 3 seconds! *NOW*!

WAKKO: Only 3 seconds? Oh, well...

[Yakko does the "new background scenery pulldown" bit, and gets an office with Mr. Spacey behind the desk, who's actually Mr. Plotz with a "Mr. Spacely" hair dye/style job (utilizing what hair Plotz has left, anyway). The Warners immediately jump into "Mr. Spacey"'s lap]

YAKKO: Boy, *there*'s type-casting....trying to expand into acting, Plotzie?

SPACEY: [whispering] Hush, you; I'm trying to stay in character here...besides, I find this role rather interesting...and get out of my lap!

DOT: [whispering to Yakko] Like you said...

[the "Jetsibs" climb out of Mr. Spacey's lap]

SPACEY: [normal voice] Anyway, you Jetsibs were 0.7 seconds late getting here! I'm afraid I'm going to have to dock your pay for the rest of the day!

YAKKO: Hey, we got here as fast as we could! We even pulled a lame cartoon gag to get here in time!

DOT: *I'll* say...I thought Slappy was going to teach us some new gags!

YAKKO: She told me that she'd do it "whenever it was that she found the time"!

DOT: Yeah, which means that like most people, she'll probably put off doing *that* until the last minute...

YAKKO: Procrastination...the great roadblock of life.

[All in the office, including Spacey, nod in agreement.]

SPACEY: Still, that's no *excuse* for your tardiness! Now, I have very important assignments for you three...I need you to retype our annual sales report, refile the entire computer stock inventory, meet with our clients in Space-stralia and Mars Angeles, and come up with a new product to place on the market! *And* you'll all be working double overtime with no extra pay to get it done! So, get to work or *else*!!

DOT: [sounding quite annoyed] Great...we've gone from animal abuse and "rock" jokes in that "Flintwarners" thing to *employee* abuse and "space" jokes...I mean, *"Space-stralia"*?!?

YAKKO: But--that's not *fair*! Why should we work overtime to get all of this done *without* extra pay?

DOT: Yeah, I mean, don't the employees here have *some* rights?

WAKKO: Or a union?

SPACEY: [gasp] How *dare* you mention the "u" and "r" words! Just for that little outburst, Mr. Hoffa, I'm going to have to cut your pay for the entire *month* *and* take away your 10-minute lunch break!

YAKKO: Aaaaaaah, so let me get this straight: we get treated like we're worthless serfs, spend all our time doing pointless busy work, and get yelled at by some guy with a Homer Simpson haircut for asking a few simple questions? [flips through the script] *And* according to this, we're supposed to be on our knees groveling and behaving cowardly the whole time?

SPACEY: *Exactly*! Just like that minion of mine over there! [pan over to a red-haired, anxious-looking guy on his knees who bears a *very* close resemblance to George Jetson]

*STETSON*! I thought I told you to not bother me with another pay raise request!

STETSON: B-but, s-sir, I only asked you for a pay raise just 17 *years* ago! My family needs the money *badly*...we're tired of living off frozen waffles, and---

SPACEY: Don't bother me with your family's tribulations anymore! First, that request for *new* office supplies last *decade*, and now this! *STETSON, YOUUUU'RE FIRED!*

[Upon hearing this, Stetson walks out of the office, looking dejected...the Warners face Spacey angrily]

YAKKO: OK, that's it! We've seen enough! We don't care *if* the script says we're supposed to act like a bunch of subservient wimps! We *quit*!

DOT: Yeah! Besides, what's the worst you can do to us? *Fire us*?!

SPACEY: Oh, give me a break, you Jetsibs! Take a look at *this*! [Spacey pulls out a book labeled "Cartoon and TV Sitcom Cliches", turns to a chapter entitled "Workplace/Employment Cliches", and shows it to the Warners]

YAKKO: [reading] "Cliche #1: All bosses shall have supreme rule over their employees' lives, including when they have time to sleep, eat, breathe, think, go to the movies, and even "go potty". Cliche #2: All workers must speak in a sniveling, groveling manner towards their superiors at all times. Cliche #3: If a worker quits, they shall be guaranteed to return to the employer that they quit from, whining and begging for their old job back, within the same episode..." *What*?! This is ridiculous! Just because most other cartoons and sitcoms seem to subscribe to *Ebenezer Scrooge*'s idea of what workplaces are supposed to be like, doesn't mean that we have to!

DOT: Yeah! And besides, even if we're fired, it's not like we couldn't just find another job!

SPACEY: Oh, *really*? That's *it*! *JETSIIIIIIBS, YOUUUU'RE----wait, *get another job*?! [slightly worried/confused sounding] But--but--that goes against all cartoon and sitcom employment logic! You *can't* do that!  You *have* to come back here begging for your old job back by the time this thing's through!

WAKKO:  [sounding annoyed] Oh, yeah?! [Wakko pulls out a remote, and presses a button. A large anvil smashes Mr. Spacey *and* his entire desk]

YAKKO: Aaaaaah, I think that was our "two-second notice"! Come, sibs, let's go home and look for a new, less abusive "space age" job!

DOT: Yeah! I'll bet McDonald's is still in business in this future!

WAKKO: Faboo!

YAKKO: Well come on, then, let's go home! [turns to their anvilled now-ex-boss] So long, Mr. Spacey! Don't worry, we won't ask to use you as a previous-employer reference!

[muffled, pained sounds can be heard from under the anvil]

[the Warners head for their space car, and take off for home, with more arguments over who should drive all the while]

[fade back to the Jetsibs' apartment, where we see Slappy asleep on the couch]

SLAPPY: [waking up] *Yawn*....eeh, great, you kids are back! How was work?

WAKKO:  Great! We quit!

SLAPPY: *WHAT*?! But--that goes against all cartoon and TV sitcom worker tradition! You *can't* quit, ya stupid kids! How will this show continue if the characters are allowed to break away from the same static, forced, hackneyed situations and actually *change* and *develop*?!

YAKKO: I know that, but that Mr. Spacey guy was a complete jerk! He kept threatening to make us slave away for no pay or [imitating Spacey] *WEEE'RE FIRED!* [sarcastically] Ooh, I'm *so scared* [normal voice] ...besides, anyplace else would probably be better than working for that guy...

DOT: Yeah, like handling toxic waste!

YAKKO: Actually, I glanced at his itinerary for things for us to do, and that was on the list after "sorting spent nuclear control rods"...

DOT: [flatly] Natch...

SLAPPY: Don't worry, you kids, I'll find you some jobs! Gotta keep *my* salary coming in, anyway...

YAKKO: Aaaaaah, OK. We'll be waiting here, then!

SLAPPY: All right, I'm off! [SLAPPY grabs her purse, and leaves]

YAKKO: So, what do you guys wanna do now?

[the Warners look at each other, and grin broadly; several moments later, their apartment is in complete chaos: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot are flinging food at each other in a massive food fight, with the food dispenser providing the "ammo"...]

YAKKO: Hey, at least it beats doing a bunch of lame "space" puns!

WAKKO: [munching on a flying zucchini] Yeah, like going to "Space-cago" to play "space-basketball" in a "Space Jam" movie with "space"-Michael---

DOT: [annoyed] *WAKKO*!

WAKKO: Oh, yeah, sorry, heh...[grins sheepishly]

[suddenly, a video phone rings, and the Warners answer it, to find Slappy on the other end]

SLAPPY: Hey, you puppy-kids! I found you guys jobs *and* kept the natural TV order 'a things goin', heh! Just come on down to Spacey's Widgets!

WAKKO: You mean, we're going back to work for Mr. Spacey?

[the Warners start to swell up with sad looks on their faces]

SLAPPY: Aw, jeez, not the "cryin' " thing again...look, just come on down here, all right?

YAKKO: Weeeell, OK...

[a short time later, at Spacey's]

SLAPPY: "Jetsibs", I'd like to introduce you to the *new* owner...[she points to a chair at the other end of the room; seated on a pile of "space" phone directories, sits the Brain and Pinky]

BRAIN: Y-e-e-s! With all of this corporation's advanced technology at my disposal, world conquest will soon be mine!

PINKY: [seated near Brain] *Wahahaha!* "Space-stralia"! That's even funnier than that "Chipcago" pun! *TROZ*!

[Brain whaps Pinky on the head with a "Jetsons"-design pencil]

YAKKO: So, just how did *you* guys manage to buy this place?

BRAIN: Who did you think *invented* all of these "space age" gadgets that you've been enjoying for the duration of this entire story? With the proceeds the Lab has earned from the patent rights to all of these ultramodern aids, I was able to purchase this entire facility, as part of my latest scheme for global  domination! Fortunately, we ran into Slappy while en route to our *original* destination, which was to purchase Microso---

SLAPPY: [cutting Brain off] Yeah, and I managed to talk these little fuzzballs inta buyin' *this* dump!

BRAIN: And I also managed to assure Ms. Squirrel that you three will be treated better than you were being treated under Mr. Spacey; I should *know* about being exploited for pointless, degrading endeavors from being a laboratory mouse...[muttering to himself] like that infernal *maze*...

YAKKO: Aaaaah, though I'm glad we've got work again for someone more tolerable than our *previous* boss, just one question: what about Mr. Spacey?

BRAIN: Mr. Spacey's currently enjoying a relaxing retirement, engaging in his own, *ahem*, "indulgences"...

[zip pan to a beach in "Acapluto", with Mr. Spacey lying out on a beach, looking *very* content; a large satchel with wads of bills sticking out of the top is seen lying next to him...]

SPACEY: Ah, this is the life! And with the amount of money that that short, large-headed fellow gave me for that factory, I'll never have to put up with those annoying serf employees of mine again! [sips a  margarita] Yessiree, this is the *life*!.... [he sees a passing waiter] *WAI-TERRRRR*! ANOTHER SANDWICH, *NOW*!

[zip pan back to our protagonists...]

DOT: [heavily sighs] *"Acapluto"*?! That'd *better* be the last "space" pun in this stupid thing, or I'm gonna...

WAKKO: Hey, what's a protagonist?

DOT: [snapping out of her annoyed mood] Um, it means "the lead character", Wakko, namely all of us here in this room...

WAKKO: Oh...thanks!

DOT: [smiling] Just trying to help...

YAKKO: Well, sibs, it looks like everyone's finally satisfied---

SLAPPY: A-*hem*!

YAKKO: Oh, all right...aaaaaah, I know! Since you helped us get new and better jobs, you can have a raise...

SLAPPY: Thanks, baggy-pants!

YAKKO: [does a slight double-take at that remark] Um, yeah. Well, I guess there's nothing else to do now....but say...

ALL: *GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY*!

[everyone waves at the camera, as the final orchestra chords strike up, and we fade out to a black background...suddenly, Slappy walks into view, still wearing her "robot" gear]

SLAPPY: There's no end joke, OK? This thing's already gone on long enough! It's over...go away!

[Slappy walks off, as we *finally* fade out to...]

THE END

---

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Pinky, the Brain, Slappy, Mr. Plotz, "Space Jam", and Minverva Mink are all by Warner Bros. The Flintstones and Jetsons are by Hanna-Barbara. Futurama by Matt Groening. "Star Trek" elements by Paramount. Anything that's left 1999 by Brainatra.

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