NO
MAN'S ISLAND
(the SURVIVOR rip-off...erm...homage)
(by Tim "TWO-FACE"
Leighton)
Brought to you by WGBS correspondent, Summer
Gleason.
...A WALTZ DOWN MEMORY LANE...
A WORD FROM THE CAST-AWAYS:
Well, we would've
gotten some quotes from Roxy Rockett and Roland Dagget, but, unfortunately, they were not only eliminated from the game last issue, they were KILLED.
All we can tell you is that Dagget died without dignity and Rockett's last
words were "yes...YES...YEESSSSSS!" No, Roxy, we're far from the climax of
our game. Very far from it.
AND WHAT'S HAPPENED SINCE:
A large neon green sinkhole has opened up a few
blocks in from the waterfront on the Upper East Side of Gotham near the
corner of Adams and O'Neil. Several buildings have imploded. Everyone has
quickly evacuated this area, and no one we've seen thus far dares to venture in
- though one large hulking mass has been seen silhouetted against the
ghastly green glow, watching the activity. More as we hear it.
The Ventriloquist and Scarface still hang onto
their position of power over the Riddler and Mad Hatter - barely. The newest
addition to their group, Firefly, seems to have mellowed the group down
some. Maybe they were merely paranoid of being wiped out this early and now feel
more secure having someone in their ranks with - excuse the pun - severe
firepower. That'll keep those two brainiacs in check for the time
being.
The Scarecrow has mentioned that his group of
castaways, now simply known as "Supa-Freakz", seems to be lessening in
numbers over the past week. "Yeah, it's starting to get lonely around here.
I figured hanging out with this clique would've been a gas - and, damn it, as
much as I love watching Joker and Two-Face continually trying to one-up each
other, something's...missing." He then remerged into the shadows
continued to speak. "You should've seen it, yesterday. Y'see, the
Clown had to do some calculations for this 'chemical warfare' project he's
been working on, but Harv reset his calculator so it only worked in BINARY
format. That was sweet - J just FREAKED! God, I love his mood swings.
So this morning, to get him back, he face-painted Harv's face with clown
make-up before he woke up. I don't quite understand what that means, but
Harv wasn't pleased. Oooohhh, this is going to be interesting..."
Harley Quinn was also watching the action, but
seemed distraught. "Every night when I roll over in bed, Red's nowhere to be
found. Where is she? She's here through the day - so where does she keep
running off to?" Good point, Harley. Poison Ivy hasn't been seen after
curfew for the past three days.
Still no word on where the dead body of Roland
Dagget has been taken to. After seeing what happened to him, no one dares
visit Rupert Thorne's office building - and who can blame them?
Leslie Thompkins has a strong will and a heart of
gold. Who else but her could put up with the endless, mindless rantings of
the Penguin? He must be the weakest man alive; you'd think that someone who
proclaims himself as "dashing" and "daring" and "debonaire" would have more
class than to complain about the pain of his gunshot wound over a month
after it happened!
Batman has finally made an appearance. I overheard
he and Commissioner Gordon having a private conversation through my bedroom
window last night; I couldn't hear any details, but I saw the silhouette. I
heard the tone in Gordon's voice. I knew whom he was talking to. I
questioned him this morning about what was going on, but Gordon only said
that Batman has acquired a new member to his costumed "Batsquad", and as
long as he doesn't enter GCPD territory, to let him do as he pleases.
Interesting...
Later this morning, I also met Alfred Pennyworth,
butler to Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne, out in front of Police
Headquarters, where I am currently living. We had a lovely chat, but it was
obvious that he was in a rush; I wonder where he was going. Why was he heading
straight into downtown? That's where the "Supa-Freakz" are stationed. Gordon
insisted that he go alone; won't he get killed?
And why is Pennyworth here in the first place? Who
is going to dress Bruce up every morning back on the mainland? Lucious
refused to do so, at least last time Bruce asked...
And as a summary, let's just go over those we
haven't seen in action yet, aside from the omnipresent Batsquad: Mr. Freeze,
Bane, Lock-Up, Clayface, Ra's Al Ghul, his daughter, the Demon, Zatanna, the
Phantasm, and...well, I suppose Catwoman would be in this group now,
too.
This is GWBS reporter Summer Gleason, signing
off.
* * * * * * * * * *
AND AFTER A THIRD ROUND OF VOTING...
THE GCPD HEADQUARTERS IS UNDER ATTACK!!!!
Overnight, Killer Croc and Man-Bat have snuck up on our camp and have been
throwing large boulders, mailboxes, and even crunched cars at each and every
one of our windows! Man-Bat's continuously circling the building, with no
sign of leaving. Why are they targetting US? Perhaps Croc figured out
that I'm stationed here during NO MAN'S ISLAND, and is still a
little...miffed about our failed relationship two years back. Where's
Baby-Doll when you need her?
Gordon, Bullock, and Montoya haven't had time to
comment; they've had their hands full trying to keep the building standing.
Gordon's ordered Montoya to escort me to a safer district of town - though I
don't know where. I've heard Bullock rumbling and mumbling about evicting the building and moving to the Fashion District; that's a good point. We'd be
able to keep a closer eye on the Penguin AND avoid Croc's barbaric styles of
war for the time being.
Speaking of which, word has it that the Penguin is
back in action again. His six weeks of bed rest are over, and he's back in
business. How exactly, I'm not sure. He also complained some more about the
wacky man with yellow skin harassing him once again. As much as I hate to
think it, I'm starting to believe him. Penguin may be sinister, but he's not
crazy. But could he be hallucinating?? "My dear, please. If I
were hallucinating, it would definately be about something much more elitist
and refined than THAT." That's what he said. I don't know...if it is true, I
wouldn't feel very safe about bunking with Cobblepot until Gordon and his crew
get over here.
I mean, honestly, who comes up with these ideas,
anyway?
Last night there was an explosion. I ran to the top
of the Iceburg Lounge to see if I could see anything and...whoa. Remember
the green sinkhole? It was growing, and growing, and GROWING; a large
hulking figure was jumping and flipping and fighting hand-to-hand with another
figure that had just risen out of the pit...I couldn't make it out any
clearer from here. I saw lots of flashes of multicoloured light, though -
coming from his eyes, it looked like. In the morning I cautiously walked the
ten blocks to the edge of the pit, and found the body of a yellowish figure
in a red and black costume and cape, lying flat on his back with smoke rising from his body. What the hell was THAT? It didn't even look
human...almost demonic. Could this be the Demon that was on the list
of SURVIVOR applicants? Dead leaves and vines covered the area, too - funny,
considering there wasn't a park OR tree around for blocks.
So yellow skinned, huh? Was this the guy that was
bothering the Penguin?
...evidently, no. On my way back to the Iceburg
Lounge, someone grabbed me. "Aha!!!!" he hollered as he burst out from
nowhere. I cried out for help, but no one heard me! I just kept screaming,
screaming, screaming, but he just clamped his hand over my mouth and said, "the Creeper doesn't like this, Summer." He just kept running back downtown,
giggling gleefully, telling me about how perfect I was for his plan.
Plan? What plan?
About an hour later we arrived out in front of city
hall where the Supa-Freakz reside. I didn't like this one bit. The Joker?
Two-Face? The Scarecrow? Poison Ivy? I've never run into any of them before,
and I don't intend to now.
"A-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEM!!!!" the man calling himself
the Creeeep-urrrr said gaily. Nothing. "HARRRRRR-LEEEYYYYY!!!!" he
yelled out; he was dangling me off the side of the building. "GET OUT HERE!
I HAVE A SURPRISE POUR VOUS!!!!" She actually came out in tears - and his
presence only enraged her further; oh well, at least if I had to meet one of
these freaks, it was the least threatening of the bunch. I kind of
dazed in and out of the ensuing conversation, but it was evident that this
Creeper guy was trying to woo her with me as the gift. Yeah. That's great.
Like it even makes sense.
BLAM!!!
The Creeper quickly turned around, still clutching
me under his arm. Two-Face stood there, a gun in his hand, the Scarecrow at
his side for back-up. A bullet-hole was in the roof of the building, smoke
rising through the morning air. He spoke quickly and precisely. "Ryder. Gleeson. You're both equally unwanted here." Ryder? JACK RYDER? This
yellow-skinned wacky-man was my old co-anchor and college buddy JACK
RYDER??? "You've violated the sanctity of our lair. Drop the girl and
don't move." He wouldn't move the gun off of the Creeper; I guess he supposed I'd cooperate. Duh, I will.
"HARLEY!!! Get up here. Bring the canon," Two-Face
said. CANON? Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy climbed up the stairs
carrying a large circus-like bazooka and quickly erected it on the
roof.
"I told you once, I told you a million times
already, freak," Harley said, still sniffling. What WAS bothering her? And
why wasn't Ivy consoling her? I always thought these two had a "special"
bond. "I don't want you around me ever again. You'll just get in the way of me and...Mistah...J...." and with that, she just broke down and
cried.
"We've all heard that the Demon was dead. Ivy
reported this to us this morning. So that means we have one more to
eliminate." Two-Face held up his coin and showed it to us. "Heads, Gleeson goes. Tails, Creeper." And so he flipped; you know, I've heard about this
being done a million times before, but you never realize just how
frightening it really is until it happens to you. The coin landed in his
hand and he flipped it over onto his opposite wrist. "Tails. Get that yellow
jack-ass out of here." I watched in horror as the Scarecrow and Poison Ivy
grabbed the Creeper, loaded him into the bazooka, and promptly shot him into
the sky; he made a loud Goofy- esque "Yahhhh-hoooo-hweeeeee!!!!!" scream as
he soared through the noon day air before crashing down on the mainland with
a loud thud.
Two-Face then approached me as his band of freaks
disbanded. "Let this be a lesson to you, Gleeson. Never enter our territory
again. We have enough on our minds as it is at the moment; you're just canon
fodder. Understand? Now you have ten minutes to get ten blocks from here or we'll hunt you down, too. Ciao." He escorted Harley back down into city hall
and closed the door behind them. "Nothing can cheer me up, Haw-vey," I heard
her say before the door slammed shut, "nuthin', especially her, especially
now. She's a sucky present."
Phew, that was close. I didn't tarry; I quickly
scampered down the fire escape and ran as quickly as I could back to the
Iceburg Lounge. Sucky present, huh? I'm still confused...supervillain
love really confuses me sometimes.
I've never come that close to death before. Worse
yet, I didn't even meet the Joker while I was with the Supa-Freakz, so I
have no idea where he is. All I want is to be near Gordon again; bunking
with the Penguin makes me feel very uneasy.
Other rumblings I've caught this week are as
follows:
-Killer Croc and Man-Bat are still camped outside
of the GCPD headquarters. Apparently they're not doing anything. They're
just biding their time.
-Apparently Mr. Freeze, in hopes of winning the game,
has frozen over the Gotham resevoir so no one can safely drink the water (or
lack thereof) from herein. Apparently he doesn't need water to survive.
That's an interesting idea...but my faucet still works, so I doubt this is
true.
-Catwoman killed the Joker, but no body has been found, as
always.
-Rupert Thorne has been quite quiet since last week, too. No sign on
the dead body of Roland Dagget, too.
-The "lightweights" gang of
Ventriloquist, Riddler, Mad Hatter, and Firefly seems to be very silent at
the moment.
-Batman and his crew have been appearing more often. I've seen
Robin and Nightwing have a chat with the Penguin on a few occasions with my
bare eyes. No word on what it's about, though. The Penguin just looks pretty
pissed off after they leave each time. That's gotta be good for me, then.
Anyhow, this is WGBS reporter Summer Gleason,
signing off. I'm going to sleep...though I'm still
shaking.
* * * * * * * * * *
ROUND THREE
Kicked Off:
THE DEMON (13%)
THE CREEPER
(10.8%)
NOTE: Both the Creeper and Summer Gleason got the
exact same amount of votes, so I did exactly as my namesake did in the story
above: I flipped a coin to see who would stay and who would leave. Thus, the
Creeper got the boot but Gleason remains.
Those whom you DID vote for, but they're still
hanging around:
SUMMER GLEASON (10.8%)
RUPERT THORNE (8.7%)
FIREFLY
(8.7%)
LESLIE THOMPKINS (6.5%)
THE PENGUIN (6.5%)
THE HUNTRESS
(4.3%)
MAN-BAT (4.3%)
THE PHANTASM (4.3%)
CLAYFACE (2.2%)
LOCK-UP
(2.2%)
RENE MONTOYA (2.2%)
BATGIRL (2.2%)
ZATANNA (2.2%)
CATWOMAN
(2.2%)
THE SCARECROW (2.2%)
BATMAN (2.2%)
KILLER CROC (2.2%)
THE
RIDDLER (2.2%)
And now, here's our up-to-date list of
contenders.
BATMAN
ROBIN
BATGIRL
NIGHTWING
ALFRED
COMMISSIONER
GORDON
DET. HARVEY BULLOCK
RENE MONTOYA
DR. LESLIE THOMPKINS
THE
HUNTRESS
ZATANNA
SUMMER GLEASON
THE JOKER
THE
PENGUIN
CATWOMAN
THE RIDDLER
TWO-FACE
POISON IVY
THE
SCARECROW
MR. FREEZE
THE MAD HATTER
BANE
KILLER CROC
THE
VENTRILOQUIST/SCARFACE
HARLEY QUINN
CLAYFACE
FIREFLY
RA'S AL
GHUL
TALIA
THE PHANTASM
LOCK-UP
MAN-BAT
RUPERT
THORNE
* * * * *
*
E-mail
juno@dccnet.com with your votes of the
TWO you'd like to see cast off. Remember, we need TWO choices! (I stress
that again. TWO!)
PS - Voting for this issue closes at midnight on
November 3,
2000.
___________________________________________________________________
BATMAN:
THE ANIMATED TRIVIA
(by Tim "TWO-FACE" Leighton)
This is one of my favourite sections, where
I get to boggle the minds of all our readers!
*EVIL LAUGH* This trivia
is all animated-related in some form, and can deal with ANY aspect of the
show or comics based on the show. Remember, answer the questions WITHIN THE
CONTEXT OF THE ANIMATED CONTINUITY. Now have fun - let's see how well you
do! Answers are provided below.
POTPURRI, BABY!!!
411. "Anthony" is a part of the gang that follows
what villain?
Answer: _____________
412. "Dee Dee" is a part of the gang that follows
what villain?
Answer: _____________
413. What was the name of the man that desired a
romantic encounter with Inque?
Answer: _____________
414. Complete this recurring chant in a BATMAN
BEYOND episode: "Paxton Powers _______"
Answer: _____________
415. Name the three people Lock-Up kidnapped in his
only BTAS appearance:
Answer: _____________
416. "Befowled by a couple of fledgelings!" In what
episode does the Penguin say this quote?
Answer: _____________
417. Who provides the voice of Robert Vance (the
guy in the computer) in the BEYOND episode LOST SOUL?
Answer: _____________
418. What other Bat-villain has he provided a voice
for?
Answer: _____________
419. What is the only BTAS episode that features
subtitles?
Answer: _____________
420. In what month of 2001 will BATMAN: GOTHAM
ADVENTURES officially become the longest-running animated Bat-book in
history thus far?
Answer:
_____________
_____________________________________________________________________
