EDITORIAL
(by
Robyn "Incorrigible" Johnson)
(aka "Harvette D. Robyn, II")
THAT GOOD OL' CONROY CRUSH!
The previous week had been hectic. So hectic, in fact,
that I hadn't packed a single thing! I snatched my overnight bag and
one suitcase from the closet and hurriedly began filling each piece of
luggage with the items I'd need for an overnight trip to Atlanta. Kevin
Conroy was scheduled to appear at the Warner Brothers store in Lenox Square
Mall, and yours truly was determined to be there when he came through those
doors. My heart hammered in my chest with excitement.
Picking up the phone, I called a friend of mine who would be
making the three and a half hour drive to Atlanta with me. She'd be
ready by the time I got to her house, so I checked my "provisions" one last
time: camera, tape recorder (to record that wonderful Batman voice), and smelling salts, just in case.
Having made an online reservation at a hotel near Lenox Square
Mall the very day that I'd learned of Mr. Conroy's scheduled appearance
there, my friend and I drove straight into the parking garage of a very nice
hotel and went inside. Very posh, this place. And so up-to-date that we didn't even have to interact with real people! A welcoming
kiosk in the foyer allowed me to register and even "program" two plastic
cards that would act as keys to the room. The computer spit out a
confirmation page and a room map from the tiny slit on its mechanical face, and we were across the lobby and riding the elevator up to our room in the
blink of an eye. This was really cool!
Once inside the room, we checked everything out and
unpacked. I was stoked! We had a few hours before the seven o'clock
appearance of Kevin at the WB store, but I thought we might want to get to
the mall and FIND the store before-hand. Besides, it was my understanding
that Conroy was signing items that were purchased from the gallery section
of the store, and I wanted some time to browse the store to decide what I
wanted to buy.
Once at the mall, we made a bee-line for the Warner Brothers
Studio Store. There were a few people milling around up front, but
towards the back of the store, we encountered a few more die-hard
fans. A small buffet table covered with fresh fruits and cheeses and
ice-cold soda and bottled water crouched in one corner of the room.
And against one wall flooded with light was a cloth-covered table and a
single black chair. A ceramic Batmobile stood sentinel at one corner
of the table....otherwise it was pristine. As a fitting back-drop, an Alex
Ross Batman print hung high on the wall behind the lone chair.
I felt my heart jump into my throat and chanced a glance at my
watch. It was 6:15 p.m., and Conroy was scheduled to appear at
seven. Wow! I'd better find something from the gallery section
and make a purchase! Wandering through the beautiful selection of
production cels and limited edition prints, I found myself panicking....I
wanted it all! But I found an animation cel of Batman standing on a
rooftop with the batsignal blazing behind him and decided that this was the
piece I wanted. After purchasing it, I dug into my purse for my camera and
asked my friend to snap pictures when my time came to get the cel
autographed. Things were coming together!
A short time later, those of us who'd bought items to be
signed were asked to line up against one wall. It was almost time for
Kevin Conroy to arrive! I was fortunate enough to be fourth in line, and as
the time grew nearer, I felt my heart pounding against my chest again. And then I heard the quiet applause that ushered Kevin into the room, and I
strained around thetaller man in front of my to get a glimpse of the man I
knew so well from the many pictures I'd seen of him. My friend was
taking pictures as promised, but the flash wasn't going off! Ack! I tried in vain to get her attention, but she was as mesmerized by Kevin's
warm smile as everyone else, and my friend was paying no attention to me
whatsoever. Not that I blame her. I'd rather look at Kevin
Conroy too!
Kevin was dressed in black jeans and a black shirt with the
sleeves rolled up past his wrists. His tall, lean silhouette and light
reddish/blonde/brown hair belied the deep, resonant voice that rumbled out
from somewhere in that lanky body. Blue eyes twinkled with a mixture of amusement and mischief and sincerity, and I felt an entire flock of
goosebumps race down my back. Wow!
I was almost there....almost at the table behind which sat the
"voice of Batman"...and my knees were knocking together. And then I
heard it. That familiar, wonderful phrase that sent shivers down my
spine:
"I am vengeance.....I am the
night....I...AM....BATMAN!"
The crowd went wild! Kevin had intoned those magic words
in that gravely Batman voice, and everyone in the store had stopped to
listen. A small child in a stroller was right in front of the table
where Kevin sat, and suddenly this little boy's face screwed up into a mask of terror, and the little boy began to wail at the top of his lungs from the
sheer intensity of Kevin's voice. The boy's mother picked him up and
squeezed him tight, and everyone chuckled at the child's reaction to Kevin's
booming voice. Kevin looked momentarily mortified, and he leaned over
the table with a strange little grin curling the corners of his mouth and apologized to the boy's mother. She smiled back at him and assured him
that everything was okay, and the crowd chuckled collectively at the
scene.
And fortunately, my friend had finally figured out that the
flash would be a good thing!
In a heartbeat, it was my turn, and I willed myself to
move. My legs felt like they had just turned to jelly, but I somehow
managed to shuffle up to the table and hand the cel to Kevin himself.
He looked up at me with those incredibly blue eyes and smiled such a broad smile
that I thought surely I was drowning in light. Then he extended his
hand and told me that he was pleased to meet me. I shook his large
hand and mumbled something inane. He looked up at me again and
laughed, and I felt like a nine year old with a crush on my science
teacher.
I watched in dumbfounded awe as Kevin signed his name on the
front of the glass-covered cel, and then he turned it over and tried to find
a way to get the certificate of authenticity out of the frame so he could
sign it too. It was a slow procedure because of the hanging wire being
in the way, but I wasn't complaining in the least. The more time it took
him to remove the COA, the more time I got to stand there in front of him
and gawk. *SMILE*
Finally, Kevin removed the COA and signed his name with a
flourish.
"I'm gonna let you put this back," he told me in his warm,
mesmerizing voice.
"I can do that," I assured him in a voice that sounded like
Minnie Mouse.
He looked up and smiled again. Has the sun ever been
that bright? If so, I'd never noticed. As I moved away, my
friend took the cel from my hands and practically pushed me back towards Kevin. Not understanding at first, I scowled at her. But then it
hit me....she wanted to get a picture of me with Kevin Conroy!
Alright!
Kevin had already gotten to his feet and now stood waiting for
me to step beside him. I jumped into place at his right, and he put
his arm around my shoulders. Not one to pass up an opportunity like
this, I wrapped my arm around his waist and grinned into the camera like Mistah J on Prozac. Although Kevin towered above me by at least ten inches,
I was thankful for my 5'5" frame, and I snuggled under his protective wing
gladly. And even as I stepped away to claim my cel from my friend, she
took the opportunity to get a picture of Kevin by himself staring right into
the camera.
A few minutes later, I moved away from the table where Kevin
sat and did an impromptu dance. Yeehaw, but I was happy! My
friend and I found an inconspicuous spot just in front of the table and
parked ourselves there to relish watching Conroy interact with the other
fans. I couldn't stop smiling!
A more gracious, accommodating, friendly man you will never
meet than Kevin Conroy. He listened to every word that was spoken to
him, signed dozens of gallery items, and generously posed for picture after
picture as the evening wore on. Having finally remembered that I had my small tape recorder, I'd started recording several minutes before and
just let it run. I caught Kevin laughing with fans several times, his
voice rich and full of life, and then I asked one of the WB store employees
if she could ask him to say something else in his Batman voice.
"Like what?" she inquired as she smiled at me.
"I don't know. Anything with the name Robin in it," I
told her.
If you happened to read the heading to this article, you would
have realized that my first name IS Robyn, and I wanted desperately to get a
recording of Kevin saying that name. Hey, it made perfect sense to
me! Thinking back to the cheesy, 1960s Adam West version of Batman, one phrase kept rolling through my mind:
"Robin, to the Batcave!"
Corny? Definitely. But it worked for me! The
WB employee went to the table and bent down to speak to Kevin. He
smiled and nodded his head. I stepped closer and held the tape recorder in Kevin's direction. Watching his face, I saw this amazing
transformation take place. Kevin's eyebrows knitted together over his
pale eyes, a serious look passed over his face, his chin dropped towards his
chest, and then he bellowed, "Robin! To the Batcave!"
And without thinking and without a moment's hesitation, I
shouted out, "You got it!!"
Kevin and I stared at each other for the span of a heartbeat,
and then the entire store erupted in laughter. My response had been
automatic and completely spontaneous, and I felt my face redden in
embarrassment. Kevin and I still stared at each other, and as the laughter
died away, I put my palm against my chest and whispered in a little girl's
voice, "That's me." The smile that crossed Kevin's face was
heart-warming, and it served to ease the surprised chagrin I
felt.
My friend and I hung around the store until almost nine, and I
got several more pictures of Kevin as he interacted with fans and employees
alike. With my tape recorder and camera safely tucked away into my
purse, I wrestled my autographed cel under my arm and made my way into the mall itself. Realizing that we hadn't eaten since breakfast, we
decided to call for the shuttle and go back to the hotel.
Chattering like two magpies on a live wire, my friend and I
relived the evening's events over and over again, and she seemed to take
great delight in my verbal outburst in the store. I couldn't help but
grin myself. Hey, when "Batman" orders you to the Batcave, you respond instantly! :-)
My lasting impression of Kevin Conroy is that he is a true
gentleman...courteous and polite, friendly and good-natured...and a joy to
be around. If the opportunity arises for you to meet the man, I say
go! Who knows? He might yell at you too! :-)
-Robyn
(uh
huh)
___________________________________________________________________
NO
MAN'S ISLAND
(the SURVIVOR rip-off...erm...homage)
(by Tim "TWO-FACE"
Leighton)
My GAWD, was the formatting SHOT last issue? I'm sorry to
everyone that was trying to figure out who we even had IN contention. Anyhow,
here ya go! Enjoy! And keep those votes rolling in!
* * * *
It's been just FIVE MINTUES since the bridges have been blown,
and only the most venerable and the most vile of all Gothamites have opted
to stay. "Why are we going through this whole ordeal again???",
Scarface asks angrily. "'99 was hellish enough for us,
dummy!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Scarface, sir."
"Damn
straight. Now get your hand outa there. I've gotta wedgie."
Everyone has scrambled off to their own corners of the city. No real teams or
cliques have been made, though it's assumed that the Bat-squad and the GCPD
are hanging out with their
respective groups. Not a peep out of the
villains, though.
When asked for an interview, philanthropist
Bruce Wayne was quoted, "Well, come on! When Mayor Hill suggested to level
the city a second time for the purpose of this popular 'reality TV' fad
right now, I was all for it! It sounds like a blast to me! I just
wish that Bambi...no, Barbi...or was it Bobbi?...oh forget it...I just wish
that whomever that girl was wanted to stay with me." He blushed and quickly
left for Wayne Manor to pack his things. Lucius Fox, Wayne's assistant
and right-hand man at Wayne Enterprises, was unavailable for
comment - but
was said to be appalled at the idea.
Meanwhile, there
have been rumblings that Mayor Hill has already struck a deal with LexCorp to rebuild the city when the game is through. Humble reporter Clark
Kent said the following: "Believe me, you don't want him to do that.
Again. Just trust me on that one."
Others have stepped
forward with their comments:
Robin: "It'll be cool! That, and I
get to skip school. I can't argue with that!"
Alfred: "I
most definately CAN argue with that, Master Robin."
Creeper:
"Maybe if Napier's voted off soon, Quinzel and I will FINALLY have some time alone! Heh heh heh!"
Thorne: "I only agreed to this awful
idea because it counts as community service. I didn't realize performing and
entertaining counted towards that. Maybe Robert Downey, Jr., should give it
a try."
Catwoman: "I personally hate the idea. After everything
I did to aid Batman in bringing Gotham back to life, we just level the city
again? Just for a GAME SHOW? Geez!"
Bane: "I will beat you
all. And then, I will break you."
ROUND ONE OF VOTING HAS BEEN COMPLETED.
After two weeks stranded on the isolated urban
island known as Gotham City, some of our contenders are already feeling the
burn. There is a growing animosity between the "middle-weight
villains" (Joker, Two-Face, Catwoman, Harley, Ivy, Scarecrow) and the physically incompetent villains (Riddler, Mad Hatter, Ventriloquist, Baby-Doll). The
lightweight crew have been growing increasingly apprehensive of a total
take-over by the middle-weights; the Riddler had the bright idea to
eavesdrop on their plans.
Meanwhile, the Penguin tried to set
up a deal between the two to prevent any possible warfare between these two
cliques, but was shot in the forearm by ex-D.A. Harvey Dent who was taking
aim at former accomplice Eddie Nygma. Quoth Dent, "We SWORE he would bleed
green, we did. He was sent by the wimpy bunch to infiltrate our camp
and steal our plans and war strategies! We didn't expect Cobblepot to
interfere. Not like we care." Calendar Girl, aka Posh Spice, sat
on the sidelines, not daring to get involved; she didn't want to scuff her heels or mess her hair. The Joker was unavailable for comment; he just
laughed, as per usual.
Now, the Riddler is in shock, and the
Ventriloquist has proclaimed Scarface as the leader of their
clique.
However, the Penguin managed to crawl away from the
scene in the direction of where the Bat-camp is presumed to be, where he was
intercepted by Leslie Thompkins and healed. "I suppose the Bat IS of
some use," Cobblepot said while puffing on a KOOL menthol cigarette. He
currently bed-ridden in the Iceburg Lounge.
No members of
the Bat-squad have been seen as of yet, though Detective Harvey Bullock has been seen prowling the streets; legend has it that there is a secret vault
hidden on Commercial Drive filled to the brim with Homer's
D'Oh-nuts.
The heavies, Bane, Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze, and
Clayface, haven't been spotted yet. "I miss him," former child-actress
Mary Dahl said, with Mr. Happy-Head in tow. "My Cwocky-Wocco. I haven't seen him at ALL since this game began. I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME! I
WANT MY MOMMY!" She threw a fit and accidentally tore off the arm of her
band-leader, Scarface. Arnold Wesker freaked, and the dying Scarface
immediately ORDERED his crew to do away with her. "I didn't mean to..." Dahl
sniffled. She promptly started crying so loudly that she was unanimously voted OFF of the island by all players - no one wanted to listen to her incesant
crying.
Soonafter Baby-Doll was given the heave-ho, Calendar
Girl was tossed into the river; the middleweight clan didn't want to have
anything to do with someone that wasn't open to fighting dirty to stay
alive. She couldn't care less; the day before, she had just ran out of hair spray. "Sucks to be you," said ex-model/actress Paige Monroe, "YOU'RE going
to be the ones envying ME when this game is through. You hear me, ladies?
SPLIT ENDS! CHIPPED NAILS! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!" Yeah,
Paige. Whatever. Mary Dahl instantly attached herself to Paige and begged
her to be her mommy.
Here's how the voting broke down:
Kicked Off:
BABY-DOLL (18.5%)
CALENDAR GIRL
(12.5%)
Those who you DID vote for, but they're still here:
ROLAND
DAGGET (10%)
THE PENGUIN (7.5%)
SUMMER GLEASON (7.5%)
LESLIE THOMPKINS
(7.5%)
THE PHANTASM (5%)
BANE (5%)
ROXY ROCKETT (5%)
HARLEY QUINN
(2.5%)
TALIA (2.5%)
THE MAD HATTER (2.5%)
RENE MONTOYA (2.5%)
THE
HUNTRESS (2.5%)
THE VENTRILOQUIST/SCARFACE (2.5%)
FIREFLY (2.5%)
THE
DEMON (2.5%)
THE CREEPER (2.5%)
And now, here's our up-to-date list of
contenders.
BATMAN
ROBIN
BATGIRL
NIGHTWING
ALFRED
COMMISSIONER
GORDON
DET. HARVEY BULLOCK
RENE MONTOYA
DR. LESLIE THOMPKINS
THE
CREEPER
THE DEMON
THE HUNTRESS
ZATANNA
SUMMER GLEASON
THE
JOKER
THE PENGUIN
CATWOMAN
THE RIDDLER
TWO-FACE
POISON IVY
THE
SCARECROW
MR. FREEZE
THE MAD HATTER
BANE
KILLER CROC
THE
VENTRILOQUIST/SCARFACE
HARLEY QUINN
CLAYFACE
FIREFLY
RA'S AL
GHUL
TALIA
THE PHANTASM
LOCK-UP
MAN-BAT
ROXY ROCKETT
RUPERT
THORNE
ROLAND
DAGGET
E-mail
juno@dccnet.com with your votes of the TWO
you'd like to see cast off. Remember, we need TWO choices! (I stress that
again. TWO!)
PS - Voting for this issue closes at midnight on October 13,
2000.
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