MX STL #206: "Best Friend"
Josh makes a new friend, and Jo, his number one fan, feels neglected. However, there's something suspicious about him: he suffers frequent fugues that seem to coincide with teroristic acts. Jo turns up evidence that he's not who he seems to be--fake name, fake hometown, and no explanation for his blackouts. It seems he's the puppet of a disgruntled contractor who seeks to destroy the reputation of a man who, as his rival years ago on a project, muscled him out of a big contract and ruined him.
This ep sounds a lot like something that was written for "Batman Beyond"--I wonder if these two shows employ the same writing staff?
The hypnotic glasses were interesting because I just completed and sent off my own story to publishers about cursed eyewear that commands a college student to murder in exchange for visions of the future and promises of godhood...though one must wonder how effective electronic hypno-specs would be at night (since presumably he'd remove them to sleep).

POK JJ #306: "Good 'Quil Hunting"
I looked for Robin Williams in this one, but didn't see him.
Ash and co., after innumerable detours, are within a harlot's hair of Azalea Town--sure, Ash's philanthropic bent lends him character, but it makes him simply *terrible* at keeping deadlines--and are lost in the ubiquitous woods.
Then Matt Damon (well, it *does* look a bit like a young him, but with a darker hair rinse, and he's got that surly attitude from "Good Will Hunting"--though his voice reminds me of an angry Tracey) shows up, looking for a Cyndaquil. Ash immediately protests that he who sees first, catches first, and immediately seems to regress, running about calling "Cyndaquil" as idffhe expects one to pop up and say howdy. Immediately he gets lost.
Enter Team Rocket with their newest toy, a giant Meowth bot, which they have--*gasp*--saved for by becoming blue-collar drones. See, folks, they're not just one-dimensioanl baddies. They can do an honest day's work if they want to. They simply don't want to. I don't know what's funnier--Jessy surreptitiously gorging on double cheeseburgers by the deep-fat fryer (she must have a lower jaw like a python), or James dressed up like the construction worker from the Village People.
Ash, meanwhile, realizes he's lost, but emerges into a clearing and spots Cyndaquil the fire-flatulating Pokemon high overhead on a cliff ledge. It soon becomes a fight to save the squinty-eyed little devil from Little Matt Damon and his Sandslash *and* fend off the Meowthinator Impersonator.
Watch James' manic gyrations inside the robot. Either he's dancing YMCA or he thinks he's one of the Power Rangers. Maybe he's still sulking over being rejected for the role of the Pink Ranger, and this is his way of taking a dig at Saban and Levy. Jessy puts things in perspective, however, by doing what I've wanted to do to S&L and the little muticolored monstrosities for years--clocks him with a mallet. [lol]
Ash captures Cyndaquil in a Pokeball right after he toasts the M.I. robot, in a smooth move honed by years of handling his balls, not even thinking of it. Young Matt Damon, however, challenges his claim in a one-on-one battle, winner take the fire-farting beastie.
Ash knows natural talent when he sees it, not even worried about Misty's warning about sending an untained Pokemon into a fight. Still, Cyndy gets off to a slow start--it falls asleep, blowing a humungus booger bubble out of its nose. Deeeeeeeeee-sgusting.
Still, once it wakes up, it proves that Ash knows what he's doing by dodging Sandslash's attacks as nimbly as a beagle. It takes a few hits, but defeats the Freddy Krueger of Pokemon by causing it to sink its claws too deep into a tree to extricate, then body-slams it, knocking it out.
Cyndy takes a few minutes to warm up, but when it does, it lets Lil' Matt have it with a bout of fiery flatulence. Ash performs admirably in a battle, but he lacks common sense--never try to hug your pet when he's got a pillar of flame blowing out his bum.
The Rocketeers, in the end, prove they have the souls of poets as they rhapsodize about the star that gave them hope during their darkest hours. Of course, their boss squelches their creative talent by telling them to get back to work digging that ditch or they'll be out on their cans. Thwarted ambitions, crushed creativity--isn't that what led to Jessy, James, and Meowth *becoming* villains to begin with? I think if they found a job that encouraged them to blossom, they'd hand in their resignation at Giovanni's office and give up the villain schtick. But no, it all comes down to menial labor and improbable, borderline illegal/immoral schemes for our three. Es la manera del mundo.

X-MEN: "Survival of the Fittest"
This episode was basically a promising concept--the advent of the Juggernaut--marred by poor execution and a subplot with the X-Teens that feels like a bad episode of "Road Rules".
Why can't the Teens of the Atom do *anything* without Mystique's misfits around? They go to school with them,and that's bad enough (I'm surprised they didn't put in for a transfer after "Turn of the Rogue"; there must be about ten million high schools in the New York and New Jersey area to go to that hopefully are mutie-free)--but why are they so willing to endure survival camp with them *knowing* that they're cheaters and borderline homicidal?
Mystique frees Juggernaut from a maximum security prison and a special chemical bath that keeps his murderous rampages at bay. Now here we see a leaner, meaner Jugs that looks a lot taller and more muscular than the short, squat Jugs of the Fox series. He's literally ten feet tall and bulletproof.
She instructs him to go forth and get Cerebro from Xavier's mansion, a move which will henceforth be made as Mistake Numero Uno. Imagine this tiny blue ant telling The Unstoppable One what to do and expecting him to take orders. One cannot cal forth the Devil and expect him to do trick for you like a French poodle.
Basically, Jugs goes tramping across the countryside heading for the X Institute. Query: Storm mists the road so the cops won't spot him, try to arrest him, and get hurt. How did Jugs see through the fog?
The Fox version had a lot more backstory on the dispute between Charles and Cain as boys, including a flashback(note: Charles looks adorable with those yellow curls as a boy) that mad eup for an otherwise mediocre script; here we don't get more than a little badly-done ten-second exposition crammed in the last five minutes of the show.
Cain brought forth his dormant X-gene through *mysticism*? As in crystal-ball-sacrifice-a-goat-on-the-altar-bubble-bubble-toil-and-trouble-necromancer-tarot-card-eye-of-newt-and-tounge-of-dog magic? Can that be done?
In the subplot, we see Mr. Straight-Arrow Scott, seeing the other muties cheat, willing to bend the rules and let his teammates use their powers to grab the flag off the peak of Mt. Humiliation--and Jean discourages it strongly. He acqiesces. [whip-cracking sound effect]
The X-Teens and Mystique's goons working together to grab the flag and then defeat jugs? I may be ill. Does this mean they'll be playing nicey-nicey from now on? (Note Mystique's snide remark about a "slumber party". Ha.) Or that Mystique and Charles will set aside their differences and become lovers? Double ill. I'm all for character growth, but still, when there's a line drawn in the sand, I by all means honor it.
Charles is forced to use his powers to mentally cripple Juggernaut. This isn't the first time I've seen him do it: in the comics, as a younger man, he forced a woman who was about to walk out on him when she discovered his secret to change her mind, and spent years feeling guilty about that mental rape. Later, after Magneto's last murderous rampage, in which, during a funeral, he renders the X-Men immobile by magnetizing the iron fibers in their blood, strangles one mutant to death with the metal coils on his armor, and then rips the adamantium from Logan's bones and nearly kills him, Charles regretfully brain-fries his old friend. Aggghadda. Maybe Maggie should have just stayed with passively attacking people with paperclips, maybe eventually move up to staples and the occassional letter-opener.

#336 POK JJ: "A Shadow of A Drought"
Team Twerp are baking like hams in the sun, during a plant withering dry spell that recalls "Wake Up, Snorlax."
Misty instructs Starmie to make with the moisture, and instantly she and Brock drop trou (relax, they're in swimwear) and dance for joy in a refeshing rain. Ash tries it with Squirtle--and the effect is akin to trying to get a drink from a fire hose.
Team Rocket gets a lot more screen time in this one, and we're treated to some wonderfully dodgy moments hat include (a) an extreme close-up of Jessy's delicious mouth that begs to be freeze-framed [a series of low, libidinous moaning follows], (b) Meowth hand-manipulating a *pink flesh-colored* pump (!!!) while Jesse and James kneel before it, mouths open expectantly--only to get a faceful of sand, and (c) the decidedly Fruedian Diglett Drill (note James within, waiting to do his Pink Power Ranger poses for us).
Like the ball-grabbing Quagsire of Cherry Grove City, the Slowpoke of Azalea Town have an urban legend built around them: when they yawn, it rains. I'm scared to ask what weather conditions result when one passes gas.
Ash steps on a Slowpoke's tail in the city, and it takes several minutes to feel the pain. Instantly half the town rushes out to string them up, like a scene from a spaghetti western. Team Twerp does the only thing they can do--run.
A talking Slowpoke (actually, a man in a costume; maybe he's a realtive of Bill the Kabutophile) meets them in the woods and instructs them to put on three Slowpoke suits. Which they do, sin pregunta. There's something a tad dodgy about that.
Misty gets onto Ash contantamente for not thinking things out--but she leaves Togepi clearly visible in her lap when the townsfolk pas by looking for a necktie party, and no one gets onto her for that lapse in judgement. How many mother Slowpokes carry baby Togepis? Fortunately they're not too perceptive, or our kids'd be a-swingin' on the gallows in act two.
Ash wants to go to the Azalea gym. Misty insists that they have to get the GS ball to Kurt the Pokeball maker. A lover's spat insues. Turns out the gym is closed due to the drought. Rule #1, Ash--never argue with a dame, you'll always lose.
Team Rocket, meantime, is having a ball in the underground caves, trying to grab Slowpoke. Team Twerp shows up, looking for Kirk, on a tip from his granddaughter that he's there. They find their funny-costumed benefactor there (though they don't put two and two together just yet; he and Kurt are one and the same).
Ash sics Heracross the Perpetually-Nursing Pokemon on the Rocketeers, who sends them going underground. The Slowpoke open their mouths, yawn, and bring the rain, TR gets washed down the drain, and Marlon Brando--I mean, Kurt, unmasks. The horror...the horror...on thekids' faces.

"Static Shck" was preempted for baseball on KTLA, but I think it's on tomorrow morning. Accoding to the previews, it'sa standard "evil twin" plot. Batman has Man-Bat, Superman has Bizarro, Green Lantern has that red-faced ex-Lantern devil guy, and Flash has--well, I don't know if Flash has an evil doppelganger. Though wouldn't the exact opposite of the fastest man alive be a big evil slug, or something?

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