POKJJ: "The Fire-ing Squad"
Ash and company meet up with some old friends when they enter a Pokemon firefighting competition: Capt. Aiden and Team Wartortle. Aiden pulls a few strings and gets Ash entered, although technically he only has one water Pokemon, Squirtle. He borrows Starmie and that anchor with a beak, Psyduck (Misty, of course, left her best water Pokemon with those three bimbos she calls sisters back in "Misty Mermaid"), and rounds out his team with Pikachu--a decidedly odd choice in a competition for *water* Pokemon, junior.
Needless to say the boy doesn't do well. Starmie performs admirably, and so does Squirtle--but he gets distracted bailing Psyduck out of the fire before his tailfeathers get roasted. And mighty Pikachu, he...kicks...dirt...on...the flames. (sigh) All right. As any good scientist knows, fires, particularly those ignited by violatile chemicals that may respond badly when expoxed to water, can be extinquished by the use of small, controlled explosions. They rob the fire of needed oxygen and snuff them out. Ash could have ordered an electric attack to trigger an explosion and quell the flames that way...if he were a little brighter. But he's not. Needless to say, the Wartortles finish the job first.
Enter some old friends from season one--the ubiquitous Officer Jenny and the Squirtle Squad. The little shellbacks are powerful, but they lack focus and a leader, so they basically come off like four drunks relieving themselves on a campfire...until Ash's Squrtle steps in, barks orders at them, and turns them from a bunch of ragtag terrapins into an elite fire-fighting force.
Enter Team Rocket, smashing up through the stadium floor in a giant fire extinguisher which, ironically, shoots fire, not foam. Not the most intelligent choice for a battle weapon, because basically after the Squirtles spit a stream of water which hits the boilers, or whatever powers the device, the rapid cooling blows it up and sends TR blasting off again. Still, they do make a go of it, even netting themselves Pikachu and a mess of water Pokemon, which thet're forced to relinquish. I still couldn't help but notice that (a) none of the other trainers had the cojones to try and fight back before their Pokemon were nabbed and (b) the device shoots fire directly into the crowd, yet no one appeared to be burned or require medical attention. Not even so much as a bunch of scared people running for the exits, trampling each other fatally in the process.
The Squirtles win the match, and Ash consents to let his Squirtle return to lead them.It's always a bittersweet thing to see Ash give up a Pokemon, and this makes number six, if my count is correct. He's already had to replace Charizard with a fire-flatulating mole, and soon, if I understand right, the turtle will be replaced with a baby alligator similar to the one who fell in love with Jessy's hair in "Don't Touch That 'Dile". If that one is anything like the one from New Barktown, poor Jessy's going to have to do a lot of touching up split ends.

MIB: "The Hots for Jay Syndrome"
First there was a little pug named Frank who ate things he shouldn't and, on three seperate occassions, caused the MIB no end of grief.
Now it's J's turn. He consumes a mouthful of alien salsa, which turns his guts into a potentially deadly inferno. Now I don't mean to be snide, but if the dip is so all-fired deadly (so to speak), why would Zed permit it to be set out at the MIB monthly buffet luncheon where anybody could get their hands or lips on it?
The luncheon is being held in honor of some alien terrorists who have given up their ways and want to play nice, and they even give Zed a huge statue of himself. Weak stomachs beware: the moment the agents leave, a glob of green gunk comes oozing out of the statue's right ear. Want a Q-Tip, Zed?
Agent Z doesn't trust the former terrorists, and rightly so--their gunk is spreading like a fungus, taking over MIB from the inside. Meantime, J discovers that alien food can do more than give you gas. K mentions a certain Q that gorged himself at a Geedangian dinner. "There's no Agent Q," J replies, puzzled. "Exactly," K comes back with.
J is now a human torch, thanks to the salsa, and delights in his new talent--broiling baddies, making coffee, giving hotfoots (no, wait, that's what *I* would do if I had fire power, never mind). Bad news: his new talent is causing his guts to bloat like dumpling dough in boiling water, and if he isn't careful, he'll die.
Couple of great bits: Zaltor puts an alien device, telling him it's only a tongue depressor; it proceeds to scrape his tastebuds off. Good line missed: "Yeah, that really depressed my tongue, all right!" Then the worms, heartbroken over a malfunctioning coffeepot, ponder the bleakness of existence a la a cologne commercial.
When the alien goo taps into the MI security system and traps the team in an energy cage, J takes it upon himself to play hero, despite his boiling guts, and flame on. He flies into space and takes on the terrorists, defeating them and knocking out the brain that controlls the goo. The vaccum of space helps to quench J's spark and return him to normal; the bad news is, he can no longer sustain himself in the void of space without his Johnny Storm talents. He ends up crashing down to earth, butt-bare to the world and clinging to a bouy off Ellis Island, much to the delight of some boating tourists. "And to your left is a naked pig."

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