Belch's
Brief Reviews (4-7-01)
DR. BELCH
Sat., Apr. 7, 2001 14:13:25
BAT BEY #52: "COUNTDOWN"
Everyone's favorite borderline sociopath, Mad Stan, is back, this
time wreaking havoc at a Gotham technology expo. The scary thing
is, there are a-holes like this guy actually out there (cf. The
Unabomber), which makes Stan all the more compelling as a villain.
Batman is forced to quash Stan's latest wild rant ("Technology is
making us soft!")
Meanwhile, Zeta and Ro show up in Gotham looking for one of Zeta's
"fathers" who is scheduled to be at the expo, and the tin man decides
to get in touch with his pointy-eared old friend. No sooner do they
step off the train than Bennett and his goon squad show up. ("Lousy
Feds," mutters Stan as they cross his path, and oddly enough, he's
right for once). A skirmish ensues and Zeta is knocked unconscious
by one of the Feds' scrambling devices...whereupon he's picked up
by an unwitting Stan who mistakes Zeta for a political prisoner.
Now here's the strange part. We see the inside of Stan's lair, and
for a guy who hates technology so much, he certainly has plenty
of it on his houseboat. I expected him to be living in a tarpaper
shack, eating Spam in a can, and writing looney manifestoes on a
typewriter--something like that hairy fat guy in "Sentries of the
Last Cosmos". He also has a dog, a butt-ugly Chihuahua with an attitude
problem.
When Stan discovers Zeta isn't human, he believes the government
is plotting against him and decides to teach them a lesson. He straps
a bomb on the tin man's back and sends him out into the city to
blow up a specified target. Then...well, here's the part I don't
get. Instead of retreating to the woods or something, Stan leaves
a videotape manifesto, then swallows a sedative and knocks himself
out for 24 hours. For a guy who's so rabidly anti-government, he
doesn't put up a lot of fight, and he has no qualms about making
it easy for them to drag him off to the slammer.
It turns out that Stan's target was the Department of Human Health,
and his motivation was...to punish the government for upping the
fee for dog licences? Holy frig--talk about much ado about nothing!
Blowing up several city blocks over a few extra bucks. For his next
trick, Mad Stan will kill a mosquito with a napalm bomb.
Bennett is a compassionate sort, isn't he? As long as Zeta blows
up, his problem is over. To blazes with the dozens of innocents
who go up because of Stan's little firecracker.
I have to admit that Ro looks good with a little shadow on her,
and she does show a bit of edge when the Jokerz start harassing
her. The ending, however, was predictable enough--Zeta disguised
as Batman slips away, and Batman/Terry dresses down as a janitor
to fool Benett and his squad. Though it was amusing enough to see
Ro chide Zeta for his childlike trust: "Heelo? Could you be any
more clueless? You'd think the word 'Mad' in his name would be a
dead giveaway!" (Though I don't think Stan ever *gave* his name
to Zeta--still, there's a motto: don't hitch rides with strangers,
esp. those with explosive-laden kevlar vests and radiation symbolls
tattooed on their necks.)
POK JJ #344: "Tunnel Vision"
On their way to Goldenrod City, Ash and company must pass through
the Onyx Tunnel...a landmark that draws its name from the Onyx that
live within. Team Rocket also wishes to pass through the tunnel.
Now: Onyx are weak against water Pokemon, but Jessy and James don't
own any. So they decide to steal Misty's. Now call me mad, but I'm
sure if they asked nicely, Misty wouldn't mind sharing hers...but
then again, TR didn't earn their nasty reputation by employing either
manners or logic.
Ash mentions he no longer has Squirtle. WTF? Did I somehow sleep
through an episode, or is somebody showing them out-of-sequence?
Now here's where it gets good: Jigglypuff is following Team Twerp,
and right behind it is Snubull, looking to sink its teeth into Meowth's
delectible hindquarters. Ash, Misty and Brock spot Snubull first
(seemingly forgetting spotting her in "Grin to Win", as do Jessy
and James), but she runs off. Before they can follow her Jigglypuff
shows up and performs its somnambulent song. Everyone, including
Snubull (mere inches from her paramour), falls asleep.
On awakening, the little bulldog realizes what happened, pouts,
and finds Jigglypuff decorating a Pidgey. The two tussle and, Snubull
grabs its...microphone. Okay, am I the only one confused by this
translation? Jigglypuff has been singing into a felt-tip marker
for the last two seasons, and losing that shouldn't keep it from
vocalizing. Which sort of makes this whole plot a little odd--give
it another microphone surrogate and send it on its merry way.
Snubull finds Meowth and promptly bites him on the butt in her typical
loving manner. Here Jessy gets all doe-eyed and decides to adopt
Snubull as a pet--becasue she figures everybody loves Misty due
to her mothering of Togepi, and she wants some of that adoration
for herself. Hence Jessy's primary character motivation: she craves
acceptance, but her rudeness and lack of social graces impede her.
Pity the poor lassie, born to poverty, orphaned young, nursing school
dropout.
Anyway, Meowth offers an ultimatim: Snubull or him. Adios, Meowth.
Meowth strikes out on his own and, being deep down a friendly sort
who craves love and acceptance as much as Jessy, strikles up a friendship
with Jigglypuff, morose over the loss of its "microphone". Snubull
shows up, and the three Pokemon get into a girly slapfight over
it. Team Twerp shows up, then Team Rocket, and a battle royal ensues.
Wobbafett steps on Mewoth's line in the Team Rocket motto, to his
great consternation. Team Rocket blasts off again, and lustful little
Snubull goes chasing after Meowth's tail.
Jigglypuff's song puts Ash and company to sleep...as well as the
Onyx. They pass throught he tunnel unhindered. As do Team Rocket--almost.
Jessy trips on a rock, stumbles, makes noise, and awakens the behemoths.
She's beautiful, yes, but not too graceful.
ZETA #8: "SHADOWS"
Zeta's new nemesis, the evil synthoid drone from "The Next Gen",
is trailing Zeta. He catches up to the tin man in an arcade. Now
for a girl who is supposed to be on the lam and in hiding, Ro does
a lot of loud whooping and drawing attention to herself when she
wins at a "Donkey Kong" video game. Z, ditch the jailbait--she's
a blonde anchor strapped to your a**!
While Zeta indulges his inner child on the space-age equivalent
of the carnival bouncy chamber thingy, the synth disguises itself
as Zeta and slips into the arcade. Ro figures something is odd when
he nearly guts a pizza counter clerk with a buzzsaw, but dismisses
it. She then realizes that she has the wrong robot when Child Zeta
shows up.The synth trashes the joint, and Ro gets struck by some
fallen plaster.
Enter Batman, midway through act two. The lighter artwork looks
okay on the Batsuit (although there's a weird purpley tinge to the
shadow that seems a tad off), but Bruce looks far less dark and
wrinkled than he should. Bruce is obseving footage of "Zeta" wreaking
havoc and dispatches Terry to deal with him. Zeta has taken Ro to
the hospital, and Bruce is able to tap into the computers and read
the admission records (Zeta apparantly has no idea how to register
in public places under a fake name).
Zeta learns about MRI machines and their strong magnetic pull. This
will be important later.
Batman meets up with Zeta and goes ballistic--fight first, ask later.I'm
not sure I liked Terry acting like such a hothead in this scene--he
seemed no better than Bennett .I'm not sure whether to chalk it
up to an innate character flaw or poor writing.
Ro seems to recover quickly from her minor concussion; she's up
and walking fairly fast in the opening of act three. I'm no expert
on cranial trauma, but it seems she should be either in bed drugged
up and asleep, or at least more lethargic and staggering if she's
on her feet so fast.
The evil synth shows up as if he's been cued, crashing through the
wall and knocking Batman out. Zeta turns up the MRI and leads the
evil tin man into the machine--ready to be ripped to scrap metal
along with it. Call me cynical, but I was rooting, "Yes! Yes!" at
this point. Batman--trying desperately not to look like he was just
tacked on to this script to patch the plot holes--saves him just
before the evil synth goes all to pieces. I was half-hoping Zeta
would look teary-eyed (well, whatever the robotic equivalent of
tears are) and demand, "Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?
Why didn't you let me die, you [expletive deleted]?"
Zeta *does* realize, in the end, the trouble he causes Ro...but
her attitude is she knew the risks when she went along for the ride.
She says she's having fun. To quote Jim Stafford, "Y'know, you got
an all together different idea 'bout a real good time!"
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