Trusting in the power of laughter I suggest we bring back the challenge fic! It was going pretty good this summer, so lets see if we can get the ball rolling again.
As for winners… Hmmm…. Maybe one of the moderators could pick? Or they could decide as a panel?
1-It must be 500 words or less
2-It must be in 1st person
3-It must be no higher than a PG-13 rating
4-It must use the phrase, “stormy knight”
5-It must have all four of the crime fighters inn there - Bruce/Batman, Babs/Batgirl, Tim/Robin, & Dick/Nightwing
6-IT MUST BE FUNNY!
Entries must be in by Sept. 28th.
Oh, and BTW – I offer this as a PERSONAL challenge to Batgirl and SilverKnight.
Here's my humble offering to the muses:
A green bug crawled onto my desk and regarded me with big, well, bug eyes.
“Gosh golly gee, what you written there?” she addressed me in a high voice.
“Samantha Centipede! Good to see you!” I regarded her; she still bore a few bruises from the last time I battled with my conscience, but was now relatively clean.
“Whatcha been doing?” she asked.
“Well, Sam, I just wrote a story.”
“I guess I better take a look at it.” She rolled up sleeves. [Interlude – you know how many arms a centipede has?]
She put on pair of glasses, cleared her throat and began to read out loud. “ ‘It was a dark and stormy knight-’ … uhhh, are you sure that’s not a misspelling?”
“Oh no Sam, it’s a play on words, get it? Keep reading.”
“Okey dokey. ‘-stormy knight that burst into the bedroom and demanded an explanation from Barbara-…’ …err, dearest, I don’t think you can write that.”
“Why not? Its funny.”
“Yes, but the moderators might find that particular description of Barbara inappropriate.”
“But it’s important to the plot!”
“We’ll see. ‘And so he grabbed-’ erm…agh… darling, how ‘bout you just have him say ‘gosh darn it’ right there. Much better choice of words than that expression you used.
“Fine,” I grumbled sullenly.
“Okay, continuing,” she adjusted her reading glasses. “ ‘He tossed the carton aside and…!!!!’” She couldn’t read the rest out loud. “Is that even possible?!?!?!?”
“I think so. I’m not sure. But I don’t see why not. After all, anything’s possible if you try.”
“Get real! Tim’s not tall enough to do those two things simultaneously!”
“Maybe he’s wearing heels?” I suggested timidly.
“...Anyway...” she continued to read. “Oh!” she suddenly groaned, “Too many double entendres!”
A few moments later: “Hmmm, that is too graphic; insert ‘knife’ here instead of ‘sharp shiny fingernail of Death’ and ‘blood’ instead of ‘waterfall of magenta fluid, scarlet coffee of the body’.”
“Okay,” I mumbled reluctantly.
“Good girl.” She read to herself a little but longer, but then – “ ‘Nightwing scoured the city looking for a goat, 3 rubber chickens, a dozen sugar cookies, 2 pounds of peanut butter and a wallaby’!?!!?!?!?” She leaped on my arm and beat me with several of her limbs. “You sick, SICK child!!!”
“No! It’s not what you think! Keep reading!”
She eventually settled down and kept reading. There were no more outbursts until she got to the ending twist. “Nooo way. Ain’t gonna happen! This is soooo censored! Did you honestly think you could get away with that? You sick, warped, twisted, perverted, vial, sick-sick-sick, gross, depraved …TEENAGER!! Totally ridiculous! Like this bit,” she waved an arm at the last paragraph and read the punch line:“ ‘and the house blew up’. Even the Joker wouldn’t stoop so low as a dumb fart joke!”
“He might,” I said defensively.
“Well it doesn’t matter, I’m shutting you down.” And before I could stop her she grabbed the mouse and deleted the entire file.
"What'll we do with ourselves this afternoon? And the day after that, and the next thirty years?"-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Maybe we need a war...it may be the last of the tonics."-- Norman Mailer, 1966
'Why of the sheep do you not learn peace?'
'Because I don't want you to shear my fleece.'-- An Answer To The Parson, William Blake
Your Not the Only One
To Kitty - in case you weren't here then this sumer some of tehboard members started a challenge were with rules exactly the same as above just changing the pharse. The results were hilaroius.
To Catwoman and anyone else, very sory if you're confused. I tried several tiems to write a humerous fic and failed miserbaly. In genral i stink at humur. So I tried the angle of humur throuh leting it be up to the readers imagination what was omited. I thought it would be funny if I personified my conscince and had her read an attempted funny fic and then censored it.
Oh well, I thought it was funny. Guess this didn't work either. Maybe I should have stuck with....but anyway. No matter.
C'est la vie
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