Innamorata (PG to PG-13) and Mixed Emotions, part 1

[Kali]

I'm posting these two fics together. Since Mixed Emotions is a sequel to Innamorata.

Innamorata
by Kali

Author's forward: My first voray into super hero comics was with Doug Moench's Pre-Crisis Batman. I was a huge fan of the Catwoman/Batman pairing, and was sorely disappointed in the retconning of that romance. As always, feedback is appreciated.

"Bruce, it's me. Let me in. Please. I know you're in there," Selina pleaded through the oak door of Bruce Wayne's master bedroom.

He opened the door looking a bit bedraggled and bewildered. "Anything wrong?" he asked. Genuine concern mirrored in his eyes.

"Honey, I.... I wanted to talk to you....."

"Selina..." He started to shut the door back on her. "I told you, later."

"When will that be? I came to see you because...I ...I love you," she commented softly then drew him into a kiss. For a moment he eagerly returns it, but then wistfully withdraws. Selina still hadn't completely recovered from her ordeal, and he did not want to impede that in any way.

"Selina, now's not a good time..." He's silenced by another kiss. Deeper and more probing than the last.

"Given our... no scratch that, your line of work, there may never be a 'good time'."

"Selina," he started in protest.

"No Bruce," she said, pushing him back into his bedroom, and shutting the door behind them. "We both want this." With that she untied her robe and let it fall into a puddle at her feet. She slinked forward to kiss him again. "I know it.  You know it. So why fight it?"

"Why indeed?  I just hope we don't live to regret this."

"What's to regret?"

****************************************************

Selina woke up in an otherwise empty bed. The covers pulled up to her shoulders. Moving them back, she realized she was wearing her previously discarded robe. A breakfast tray sat neatly next to her. Over easy eggs, sausage, and corned beef hash. With a cup of raspberry tea to wash it down. Alfred remembered.

She hadn't meant for this to happen. She had intended to talk to him, to get him to open up to her. But instead it had devolved into the physical. She prayed that there was more between them than just the heat. On her part, she believed there was. But his?

Pulling off the covers she headed out in search of him As she left the room, she saw Alfred dusting some paintings in the hallway. If he had any feelings what so ever about her renewed relationship with Bruce, he didn't show it. "Where is he?"

"Master Bruce, is in the cave, Miss Selina. Toiling with a case."

"Thanks," Selina commented, as she determinedly headed off to the Grandfather clock. One way or another they were going to have it out today.

After she had left his view. "No, thank you, Miss Kyle. Perhaps, now, the master can have the kind of life he deserves."

As Selina descended into the cave, a sense of awe came over her. Despite the fact that she had been in the cave a few times before, it still intimidated her. And probably always would.

"Bruce, we need to talk." He was hunched over his microscope looking at evidence. At first she thought he didn't hear her, but then.

"Later, ...... please."

"Great, just great! Is this how it will always be between us? With you willing to share the vigilante shtick and your bed, but never your heart?"

"It's not like that."

"Isn't it?"

"After *he* brainwashed you, I wanted to kill him. To beat him to a pulp for all the crimes he had committed. But Jason stopped me. He *stopped* me! And look what that cost him!"

"There was no way you could have known."

"I knew he would kill again. I knew it! And I have let him live!"

"I fired Dick as Robin, because the Joker shot him. I saw him lying in his bed. And all I could see, was him as a little boy. My boy. I couldn't bear the thought of him dying on me, like my parents had. It *seemed* like a good idea at the time. Dick's rage and contempt of me were a fair price to pay for his life. But, I had trained him too well. He went off on his own and became Nightwing. My 'sacrifice' had been for naught. And worse, we would barely ever talk to each other for months on end. At best, it was civil. At worst, it was a slugfest. And the hard truth of the matter was, it was my fault. My doing. My damned pride kept me from apologizing. And then I let my loneliness get the better of me. We had separated, Vicki was using my face as dart board, I felt..... alone."

"What about Alfred and Dr. Thompkins?"

"Alfred was angry about my treatment of Dick. Oh, he kept it under wraps. But I could tell. Believe me, I could tell. And Leslie, nothing would make her happier than to see the Batman permanently retired. As such, spending time with her, is difficult at best. Knowing that someone you... care about disapproves of your actions....."

"Hurts. I know that feeling all to well."

"This is different. You were on the opposite side of the law."

"Apples and oranges. Being a vigilante isn't exactly legal."

"It's the violence she opposes of. The only thing.... act of Batman that she has ever completely approved of, was my firing Dick."

"She probably read you the riot act about taking on a kid sidekick. Huh?"

He nodded grimly. "It was the first time she had ever raised her voice to me. Told me 'How dare you endanger a helpless child!' 'How dare I' indeed. If I had listened to her, how differently things might have turned out."

"Dick made his choice. He obviously loves what he does. Otherwise he wouldn't be team leader of the Titans and working the beat of his own city. You didn't force him to do either of those things. He's a natural born hero. If there is such a thing."

"Maybe. But Jason. I wanted to correct the mistakes I had made with Dick. I wanted to be a better father to him. Provide him with a loving home."

"Not so easy though, is it? What is that saying? 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.'"

"When Nocturna and I battled over custody, I could see that defiant streak in him."

"He loved her. And so did you."

"No, I thought I did, but I didn't. I loved you."

"Bruce, please. Must we really rehash this? I could see it in your eyes when you looked at her. I could see it while we were watching her hot air balloon drift in that damned scarlet storm."

"And when you fell off the cliff, I felt as if my soul had been torn out of me. It wasn't Nocturna I was thinking of, she wasn't even an afterthought. All that mattered to me was you."

Selina smiled. Perhaps he did love her after all.

"If I matter that much to you, friend, let me help you."

"You're welcome back into 'the club', Selina. You always were. The others might not agree, but *I* want you there with us."

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it," she stated. She walked over to the enshrined Robin costume. The one dedicated in memory to the late Jason Todd. "Dick told me about how you behaved after Jason's death. How you shut everyone out. Pushed them away. I want to make it clear buster, that I will not accept that from you. We've been through too much together. If you love me, you'll share yourself with me. It's that simple. Letting me know how you're feeling, and not giving me that damned icy bravado your so infamous for."

"You want me to be honest? Very well, I'll tell you something that I have only told one other person. I wanted to kill Joker for what he did."

"You said that already."

"No, this was different. This time there was no one to remind me of the 'good' I had accomplished. No one to stop me. After I found Jason, and held his cold, lifeless body in my arms. All I could think about was shoving a gun down that laughing bastard's mouth, and pulling the trigger. A gun! A weapon I have always been loathe to touch, much less use!"

"It's perfectly understandable. I doubt anyone would accuse you of hypocrisy, given the situation. I would've probably felt the same way if it had been you he had killed."

"Can you appreciate the irony, Selina? Can you? I fired one Robin, because he was wounded by the Joker. And yet out of some sentimental idiocy I allowed another boy to don the cape and mask. And that boy I lost permanently to the Joker's madness. No second chances." He touches the glass case gingerly. "He never had a chance at life. My fault, all my fault."

Selina puts her arms around him, embracing him. "No, it wasn't. The only person that blames you for Jason's death, is yourself. Don't, please. He wouldn't have wanted you to punish yourself like this! Don't shut us out. Don't retreat into yourself. It's not you against the world, bucko! You have people who care about you, despite your efforts to the contrary."

"It's hard being open with them. With Dick and Tim. Even with Alfred at times. They all have this image of me as cool, collected, always in control."

"News flash, honey. They already know you have 'feet of clay.' You've demonstrated that quite often apparently while I was off in la la land. All I want.... All *we* want is for you to stop bottling everything up inside."

"I don't know if I can. But for you, I'll try."


Disclaimer: Bat-family characters belong to DC Comics. This fan fiction is meant as pure, harmless fun, and as such, no profit is being made from it.

[Kali]

Mixed Emotions
part 1
By Kali

Author's Forward: This is a sequel to "Innamorata."


"You're back early. Why? The nutcases decided to give you a holiday?"

"I was concerned about how you were feeling. Did you see Leslie?"

"Yep. She gave me a clean bill of health."

"Then, your nausea?"

Selina winced. He suspected the truth. But when you're living with one of the world's greatest detectives, it's hard to keep anything a secret.

"Well, as the old saying goes, the rabbit died. Of course, I've always thought that was a strange saying. I mean, really! Where did it come from? What does it have to do with a pregnancy test?" Selina stopped, she was rambling and she knew it. She had been very nervous about this, about telling Bruce that she was carrying their baby. And, not knowing why that was, either. Why she felt so uneasy about the whole thing. "Are you,....... are you happy about that?"

"Very," Bruce commented as he swept her into his arms, and kissed her.

"Hmmmm...... How very?"

"Let me show you."

"Intriguing," Selina teased, as she backed away from him.

"But first, Selina, I've been meaning to talk to you about something, but, I've never been able to get the words out...... We've been living together for months, and now........."

Here it came, the inevitable question Selina knew Bruce would ask. The one she wasn't ready to commit to.

"Will you," Bruce started. But then gently pushed her down onto the nearest chair, and knelt before her. Still dressed in his Batman get up, he looked every bit, the dark knight.

"Bruce......... before you say another word, please listen to me. I can't, not right now."

"You love me, but you won't marry me? Why? What's wrong? What is it, that you want, Selina?"

"What do I want? That's a good question. One, to be frank, I don't know the answer to, right now. I used to dream about having a happy little family, when I was little. The hubby, the house, the 2.5 kids, and a house full of four-legged fur balls weaving their way under all of our feet. But now?"

"What's so different now?"

"My career. My career as Catwoman. I have wanted us to work together from the very get go. But something always came between us."

"Yes, the law."

"Touché. I dreamed of how it would be like. Fighting the bad guys during the evening, and being a perfectly normal family during the daytime. But the reality wouldn't be anything like that, would it?"

"No."

"Thought so. We'd be risking death nightly. Not something that would be fair to our babies."

"'Babies?' Did the tests indicate twins?"

"No. I meant the little one in here, and any future tykes we might create later on. Although,..... the thought of twins wouldn't be too bad, would it?"

"No," Bruce answered, pulling her closer to him.

"I'm just confused, Bruce. I spent so much time wanting kids, that now that I'm having one, I'm not sure just why I'm so conflicted about it. Does that make any sense? Or am I just rambling on like a mad woman?"

"Selina, you are many things. But mad? Never."

"You......," Selina murmured softly. "I just feel like this is all happening so fast. I need it to slow down, so I can think for awhile. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I just......."

"Don't worry, leaving you, isn't in the equation."

"And the baby? You don't regret......?"

"No, she is very precious to me, as are you."

"'She?'"

"Yeah, mother's prerogative. Might be wrong, but hey, that's life. The worse that will happen is that we have to repaint the nursery blue, instead of pink."

"True. Although, that wouldn't be necessary if we checked the ultrasound before hand."

"Hmmmm...... I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. A little suspense is good for the soul. What I do know, is that I want this to be a natural birth. You know what that will mean, don't you?"

"I believe so."

"And if you dare to miss even one Lamaze class, so help me buster, I'll ........ But that's just it, isn't it? We need to make decisions about our nightly activities, and how it affects our future as a family."

"So your answer is maybe?"

"Yes, 'maybe' in regards to the marriage aspect. But as a family, the answer is very much, yes, my darling."

"Selina, if you have no doubts about us as a family, then why......."

"With my history as Catwoman being public knowledge, the amount of bad publicity would be astronomical. We'd have paparazzi camping out on our driveway for months. Years even. They'd never let us hear the end of it."

"An annoyance, which can be tolerated. No reason for us, not to marry."

"But your secret identity is. People know about our feelings for each other. As Batman, and Catwoman. My God, even Joker somehow latched onto it in a brief moment of lucidity. If we've been that obvious, how long will it be before everybody puts two and two together, and realize that Bruce Wayne is Batman?"

"It doesn't matter. I can deal with that, if need be, when the time comes."

"But it does matter, and I don't believe we'll be able to sweep it under the rug that easily. Even if you had Dick masquerade as Batman for months, there would still be doubters. They'd see a difference between you and him."

"They haven't in the past. There is no reason to believe that it won't work again. The best way to throw off the scent, is to show them proof that contradicts their beliefs."

"Did all your acting, and all your fill-ins, manage to fool Gordon? You don't honestly know for sure that he doesn't already know exactly who you are. And the truth is, he probably has known from the very beginning of your alliance. Is it to much to believe that others might as well?"

"................."

"Ask Gordon, please?"

"Selina, I......"

They were interrupted by the sight of the reflection of the bat-signal, shimmering in the moonlit sky.

"Speak of the devil."

"It can wait."

"But it could be important, and you need to talk to Gordon."

"I'll be back soon."

"Be careful."

"I will," Bruce promised, giving her another quick kiss, before heading off towards the bat cave entrance.


****************************************************


Selina sat, reclined on their bed, contemplating everything from baby names to potential colleges. Trying as best she could, not to think of the danger the child's father was in. It was a losing battle. "I want your Daddy to be here, night in, and night out. Safe in bed, with me. Am I selfish for wanting that?" She questioned, as she rubbed her belly.

"Hmmmmmm......... Is it too early for cravings? Guess not. Hope there's some mint chocolate fudge around here somewhere. Poor grandpa Alfred's probably just going to despise me, for keeping him slaving over a hot stove all the time. Maybe I should? Yeah, Alfred deserves a break."

Selina spent the good part of a half-an-hour rifling through the massive pantry annexed next to the kitchen. Finding nothing she particularly had a craving for, she next targeted the refrigerator. Locating a half gallon container of Blue Bunny butter pecan ice cream, she happily grabbed herself a spoon, and dug in.

"Miss Selina?"

"Um, oh, hi, Alfred. Just had a craving for ice cream, and ....... other things........ You know, midnight cravings, and all that....... Hope I didn't make too much noise?" Selina asked, the spoon in her mouth slightly muffling her voice.

"No, not at all. Would you like me to cook something for you, madam?"

'Madam' Selina winced for the second time that night. She felt a bit ill at ease, at the thought of being anybody's 'madam'. "I was looking for some mint chocolate fudge, earlier. Do you have any left on hand?"

"No, but I can bake some for you, if you would like?"

"You really don't need to go to any trouble, on my account."

"It is no trouble, Miss Selina. I would rather be held prisoner by one of the master's infamous Rogue's gallery, than be neglectful in my duty to you and Master Bruce."

"But......"

"Miss Selina......"

"I really don't want to be a burden."

"The mistress of the manor a burden? Never."

"I'm hardly to the manor born. We're equals, I'd like us to be on equal footing. None of this 'mistress' stuff."

Alfred gave her a stern look, and chastised, "Miss Selina, it would not look proper to outsiders, if I started to act too familial with you. It might make several members of Gotham's social elite suspicious."

"True, we don't want that. Okay, you win. For now." Selina could tell by the reserved expression of relief, just how much proper etiquette mattered to the valet. She decided to let him have his way for now. But she'd be damned, if she let him get away with calling his grandchild 'miss' or 'master'.


****************************************************

"Jim, I have to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"I know you didn't want me to reveal myself to you. But circumstances have changed. I need to know what you know about me, in order to protect the people I care about."

"Why? Don't you trust me? I thought we resolved this?"

"Yes, we did, and I do trust you.. With my life. But my concern is with my enemies. I .... we, fear that if you were able to figure it out......"

"That other's may as well?"

"A few already have, in a few special cases. But, she's concerned that we've been to obvious."


****************************************************

Having acquired her caffeine fix, Barbara returned to her computer terminal for her nightly monitoring duties. The faint sound of voices, caught her attention.


****************************************************


"Catwoman, I assume?"

"She's pregnant."

****************************************************

Barbara Gordon nearly choked on her sip of coffee at that remark. As it was, her computer screen ended up soaked with the brown muck. Bruce had apparently forgotten all about her active communication link to him. Frazzled, she cut the link before she could overhear any more of their private conversation.

****************************************************

"Oh? Guess it was only a matter of time. My congratulations!"

"I know how you feel about her."

"That doesn't matter. You know her better than most everyone, so I trust your judgment. Just cherish what you have with her. Don't let time slip away from you. Don't regret any missed opportunities, like I did with Sarah."

"Jim..........."

"I do know, but that was only due to extensive background checking, after meeting you in your civilian identity. Can't imagine too many who would go to that much trouble to investigate you, in that identity, without any proof of a connection between 'you' and 'Batman'. You've covered your tracks very well, keeping most everybody at arms length."

"You never doubted your research was wrong?"

"Occasionally. But after the incident with Bane, I knew there was no doubt."

"Thanks, you have given me something to consider."

"We can handle it from here, for tonight."

"You're sure?"

"Quite."

"Good night, Jim."

"Good night."

****************************************************

"Pizza delivery! We got your pepperoni, your black olives, your......" Dick announced, waving a slice of pizza below Barbara's nose.

"Oh, hi, Dick. Didn't see you come in."

"Babs?" Dick questioned. She seemed very distracted to him, very distant.

"You need to talk to Bruce. Trust me, you need to talk to him."

"All right, if you say so," Dick said, placing the pizza box down on the end table, and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Bruce."

"Um, not tonight. Tonight, would be bad. Really, really bad. Tomorrow would be better."

"Oookkkaaaayyy."

"Trust me on this," Barbara commented. She assumed Bruce and Selina would want to be alone tonight, and tell everyone together, tomorrow. But just in case, it wouldn't hurt to encourage a conversation between Bruce and Dick. Then they could get on with the festivities, as it were. She even had ideas for a locale, for the baby shower. Oh my God, I'm planning a baby shower for Catwoman! I don't believe this! Okay, she's seemed to have reformed. And that *is* what is most important. But ........... Well, one things for sure, 'family' get togethers from now on, definitively won't be boring.


Disclaimer: All Batman characters are the property of DC Comics. This little fan fiction is meant as pure, harmless fun, and as such, no profit is being made from it.

[Panther]

Oh my God, I'm planning a baby shower for Catwoman!

LOL! That was funny how Babs responded to the news. Any chance this time Selina and Bruce will work things out? I'll be interested to see. Good luck.

later,

[Kali]

Hi Panther,

Thanks for the feedback. I started Mixed Emotions some time ago. I temporarily 'abandoned' it for awhile, but, am now working on part 2, finally. My plans for Selina and the baby haven't changed all that much since I started on it back in 2000.