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  1. #1
    TheVertigo's Avatar
    TheVertigo is offline The Dark Passion
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    A Thief's Honour

    Like This Thread!
    O.K! I think I'm gonna give this a shot and post my first story on this board (yay!) I hope you all like it, even though its currently a mere prologue to a much more... larger plot.

    I'm almost done Chapter One, but I'd like to see the intial reaction to the prologue before I start posting anything new. Plz give me your honest opinions if you do decide to reply.

    Thanks very much!

    -Okami

    ******


    A Thief’s Honour

    It was no wonder that the inking, black hellhole that was Gotham City’s gaping night sky often spilt its influence on its citizens. For one thing, the city’s anatomy itself was grotesque in design: fearsome and burlesque gargoyles perched protectively on the ledge of the Clock-tower, overseeing a multitude of run-down buildings that had seen betters days and structures that could have been pulled out from a Gothic England Design book. The enigma of streets and alleys were sleek and glistening from the late-evening fog that often settled Gotham’s polluted atmosphere, with the occasional taxicab or abandoned car parked along the curbs. The sidewalks themselves were blackened slabs of pavement acting as a stage to the shadows that often played near the feeble, yellow, circles of light clinging ever so fiercely to the lampposts- almost as if to escape the inner evil this city seemed to posses.

    From rooftop to rooftop, a slender figure glided across multi-storied buildings, long black cloak billowing out at each extended jump.

    Leap. Rapid footsteps upon concrete roof. Leap.

    At this altitude, the high cold winds that whispered through the upper currents and among the tops of city structures blew much more forcefully than at ground level. However, the sound it made as it blew past the figure’s ears was almost the sound of weeping.

    Anyone watching would never be able to identify how rapidly this agile figure was advancing towards the city’s core. Both the speed and the agility the nimble shadow displayed were remarkable- it moved with the wit and grace of a leopard, almost seemingly flying on the wind currents as it jumped from building to building.

    Then, bracing itself, the shadow leaped one final time and the soles of a pair heavy, black leather boots connected with concrete. Grasping a fold of its cloak with a gloved hand, the figure continued to walk calmly towards its destination before stopping abruptly near the edge of the rooftop. The chilly wind blew past and caught onto the figure’s cape and strands of silvery mane, slightly obscuring the vision of two, ice-blue pools glistening with determination.

    The next structure ahead was the Gotham City ‘Golden house’- the most prestigious resort for those who could afford its accommodations. Celebrities, Sports Icons, Politicians and Millionaires alike often called in for reservations. Anyone with real money and influence in Gotham had at least taken a night or weekend off to bask in the ‘Golden House’ exquisite spa and reckless casino. Due to the recent turn of events, the shadow secretly hoped that Mrs. Lavina Ramiko and her prized collection of rare, Egyptian artefacts had made accommodations to stay here on their short-lived visit to Gotham.

    Merely looking the building up and down, the eidolon made estimated calculations and measurements before deducing further action. The structure was not the most recent of building designs, but still in its own right, elegant in its classic gothic nature. Standing about seventeen stories high, the Golden House was fair in size, both vertically and width wise. Each floor and room had a separate balcony and windows, while the Penthouse itself was enriched with a garden, glass-enclosed patio and decked-in mini-spa and pool.

    However, the penthouse was not the shadow’s initial target. Setting its sights for the eleventh story balcony and window, the figure smiled thinly as it reached for its grapnel and rope strapped to its hips.

    With a mighty swing, it managed to hoist the end of the grapnel hook to the edge of the opposing rooftop and snap the rope taut. Then, tightening its grip on the ropes, the mysterious figure swung like a pendulum, cloak streaming out above it before landing with an even louder thump on the balcony of the eleventh floor.

    After making sure no one had seen its brief but impressive performance, the wraith retrieved its rope and grapnel and turned to the balcony entrance, working with nimble fingers on the security lock fashioned onto its sliding French doors.

    Five minutes later, the triumphant burglar made its way across the guest’s bedroom, stopping for a moment at the foot of the king-sized bedpost to silently mock the slumbering Mrs. Ramiko with wry amusement in its glacier eyes. The artefact collector moaned in her sleep before shifting to a more comfortable position, unaware of the dark shadow overlooking her resting form.

    Then, with a thin smile, the figure skipped passed the dresser, opened a drawer and pulled out a set of keys before calmly trotting forward to open the glass-case in the far corner of the room. Although inlayed with security laser-beams, the figure easily unlocked the glass-cube, and carefully withdrew two ebony-carved Jackal Statuettes and a golden, cobra-crown. Dropping them into an open pouch, not even bothering to do it silently, the thief grinned as it looked back at the resting Mrs. Ramiko, and tossed the bag over its shoulder before easily slipping out the balcony window and melting into the night.

    -End Prologue.
    "The furtile contents of the field of your mind are part of the most vast wasteland ever conceived..."

  2. #2
    Coran is offline Member
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    OK, you've got me curious. When I was first reading the description I was thinking it was probably Batgirl, but obviously it isn't. I'm interesting in reading you story. Hope you post soon.

  3. #3
    Panther's Avatar
    Panther is offline Elizabethan Spy
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    Cool!

    This is good. Great descriptions of the city, the hotel, and the little sneak thief. The loot sounds cool too. Have you read Batgirl's story 'Link to the past'? Scroll down and check it out - chock-a-block full of Egyptian stuff. I'm curious to see who this cocky thief is /and/ why the story is called 'A Theif's Honor'.

    Keep posting!

    later,
    >^_^<

    Panther

  4. #4
    Batgirl_2005's Avatar
    Batgirl_2005 is offline Don't I Wish...
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    This is a great story so far.. write more!
    "That's a riddle?"
    "Crap."
    "Looks like we're dealing with The Riddler."
    "Crap."
    "This is gonne be annoying..."
    "Crap..."

    Green Arrow #34

  5. #5
    witness's Avatar
    witness is offline I am always watching.....
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    nice prologue, wonderful attention to all the details. i like the whole aspect of this so far, and like Panther i am also waiting to see why you've chosen your title and if the thief gets away or not. as everyone knows, a thief must be careful in gotham city. too many heroes about.

    also, i'd like to welcome you to this particular board! we're a friendly bunch of people. we like to help out to make stories better, we love to give feedback ( and get it in return of course )
    and we like to read stories such as yours! so keep up the good work!
    Visit World's Finest Writer's Corner!
    Near Apocalypse of '09? Check out Going Green!
    Currently writing:Going Green (JLU) [J], The Ignorance Of Bliss (TNBA) [J]

  6. #6
    TheVertigo's Avatar
    TheVertigo is offline The Dark Passion
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    Awww...

    Thanks so much for all the feedback peeps! I appreciate it alot! I'm glad I caught some of your interests, as most ppl tend to read the fics by the more familiar posters on the board. The welcome was also a bonus!

    Anywho, I plan to post Chapter one of the story sometime tomorrow or by Monday at the latest. I'm kinda too lazy to do it on a Friday night, so we'll see how I get by this weekend (with exams comin' up and all)

    As for the curious Title? Well, you'll just have to seeeee!


    Till next post!
    "The furtile contents of the field of your mind are part of the most vast wasteland ever conceived..."

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