Craig's Future

**Colin** · 05-15-2001, 04:49 PM

It has come to light that Craig was recently involved in a heinous plot involving an Egg McMuffin back in the month of April...

Since we at Toon Zone like to be democratic about things... we decided we'd let YOU, the wonderful patrons of these boards, decide Craig's fate! Using the three options he has provided us, we will decide what should be done with him.. Please keep in mind that he has 9 kids, 7 wives, and watches the Dog on Frasier.

Now... to the voting....

**The Mad Hatter** · 05-15-2001, 05:13 PM

I propose a fourth option: That he keep his position, yet must have the same sort of Egg McMuffin desecration be done to him as he did to Harley.

**Craig Marinaro** · 05-15-2001, 06:51 PM

Shoot...I accidentally hit the "starve to death" option instead of the "hefty bonus" one. Can I have a do-over?

**DR. BELCH** · 05-15-2001, 06:57 PM

--have a heart. Or a liver, or a spleen, or perhaps a pancreas with some slight wear-and-tear. Could the Egg McMuffin incident be that bad? Just be grateful it wasn't a hashbrown (they're somewhat greasy and can stain) or a hot cup of joe in the lap. Need I tell you the horror stories of my kid brother and ketchup packets?

**Jack** · 05-15-2001, 07:03 PM

Such behavior now, if not stopped, could lead to larger crimes against humanity, today an Egg McMuffin, tomorrow, a hashbrown, then a hotcake, then (dare I say!) coffee. All leading up to the apocalypse. So if we really want to help Craig better himself, then we have to tough.

Jack

**Colin** · 05-15-2001, 07:30 PM

Originally posted by Jack
Such behavior now, if not stopped, could lead to larger crimes against humanity, today an Egg McMuffin, tomorrow, a hashbrown, then a hotcake, then (dare I say!) coffee. All leading up to the apocalypse. So if we really want to help Craig better himself, then we have to tough.

I wholeheartedly agree... afterall... if he keeps up his evil ways no Happy Meal, Mighty Kids Meal or Extra Value meal will be safe... it could be the end of Civilization as we know it!!

**Roman Legion** · 05-15-2001, 07:52 PM

Aww... c'mon, folks! Have some mercy on the poor guy. He has a weakness for breakfast foods and anything commonly consumed with coffee. It's a love-hate relationship between coffee and food... The food goes so well with coffee, but it takes up space that could instead be filled with the caffinated liquid.

Sure, the Egg McMuffin may have been saturated with an unspecified chemical manufactured by our lab departments, but that's hardly reason to dismiss poor Craig from what he did... umm, what did he do again? I just hope he didn't let anyone eat it.

Romey
--Remembers the time someone ate that mind altering bacon grease. ::shudder::

**Danielle** · 05-15-2001, 10:20 PM

Current poll results: Sorry, Craig. No one wants you to get a hefty bonus. Though I don't see why; a really really big bonus would be better. (Question: What does 'hefty' mean?)

So far, it's a tie between keeping the current position and starving to whatever, I don't have a copy of the poll here.

Originally posted by...um...that guy.
Remembers the time someone ate that mind altering bacon grease. ::shudder::

No, no, it was mind altering 'sausage' grease! Honestly, how can you people forget things like that?!

**Sharklady** · 05-15-2001, 10:30 PM

> Need I tell you the horror stories of my kid brother and ketchup packets? <

Uh-oh. I have a nasty suspicion that your kid brother and mine have a certain tendency in common.
In my brother's case, it usually manifested itself whenever Dad was down to his last clean shirt...

**Inque** · 05-18-2001, 11:34 PM

i'm a little clueless about this whole "incident" oh well. speaking of mcdonalds, here's a semi-useless fact. they put meat products in their french fries. that's why some people sued mc donalds. if you need proff, write to the company asking about the ingreidents and the cooking methods. it's there. my friend did a project and she's a vegetarian and was angry at mcdonalds.

**Colin** · 05-21-2001, 01:51 AM

From the looks of it our dear friend Craig is going to starve to death..... poor Craig.... whatever will his kids do without a father... and what about that poor dog from Frasier??

**Danielle** · 05-23-2001, 08:02 PM

Not Eddie! Please not Eddie! EDDIE!!!!!

**Narfpinky** · 05-23-2001, 09:09 PM

Ummm, a week ago I voted on this, but I can't remember how I voted, poit.

**Craig Marinaro** · 05-26-2001, 11:17 AM

Narfpinky sez:

Ummm, a week ago I voted on this, but I can't remember how I voted, poit.

I know how you voted!

By clicking the cute little button thingee and hitting "submit," silly!

As for me, I'm about done for, thanks to the verdict reached here...feeling woozy from...malnutrition...starving slowly....whoooooa....*plop*

I...I'm floating! Where am I going? Wait...I see a light! What does that sign say? Oh my God, I'm in....NEAVEH!

No, wait...I was floating upside down...it's....HEAVEN! I'm in HEAVEN! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the cares that hung around me through the weeeek! Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak...when we're out together dancin' cheek to cheek! Oh, I love to go out fishin'...in a river or a creek...but it doesn't thrill me half as much as... Wait...what's that St. Peter is pushing there? Oh, no, St. Peter! Don't do that! I'm sorry! I'll stop singing! I promise! Just don't send me to--

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, heck.

-C
Official ToonZone Communicator From Beeeyond the Graaaave!

**Jack** · 05-26-2001, 01:02 PM

Can you send me a post card from beyond the grave?

Jack

**Sharklady** · 05-26-2001, 10:34 PM

Or even one-up Carrie Fisher by sending Postcards From *Over* The Edge.

**Danielle** · 05-27-2001, 12:15 AM

Originally posted by the dearly departed Craig
As for me, I'm about done for, thanks to the verdict reached here...feeling woozy from...malnutrition...starving slowly....whoooooa....*plop*

I...I'm floating! Where am I going? Wait...I see a light! What does that sign say? Oh my God, I'm in....NEAVEH!

No, wait...I was floating upside down...it's....HEAVEN! I'm in HEAVEN! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the cares that hung around me through the weeeek! Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak...when we're out together dancin' cheek to cheek! Oh, I love to go out fishin'...in a river or a creek...but it doesn't thrill me half as much as... Wait...what's that St. Peter is pushing there? Oh, no, St. Peter! Don't do that! I'm sorry! I'll stop singing! I promise! Just don't send me to--

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, heck.

Heck.......heck.........oh, I get it!

How did you get a computer down there? Knowing that place (which I don't, in case you were asking), they'd probably give you an ultra-slow Microsoft computer that cannot block spam from your inbox. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, that reminds me of that joke....

Oh, but I'm so terrible at telling jokes......Sharklady, you tell it......oh, c'mon, you tell it so well.....whaddya mean you do't know which one I'm talking about? Y'know, the one with Bill Gates?.....Of course you know........oh, all right.

Well, anyway, I heard this from Rudie Fischer. You all know Rudie Fischer? She was the one who married Sam Mintzer's brother. You all know Sam? The one in the cloth business? His father was Max Mintzer....the real estate agent....you all know Max? Good.

Okay, so Bill Gates dies and is deciding between heaven and he-um, the other place. So anyway, he goes there and, upon seeing the devils with pitchforks poking people in the tushies, he asks his guide, St. Peter, what the he-um, the other place was going on. "Oh," he replies. "That was the demo."

(pause)

Oh, did I mention that before, St. Peter took him through a tour? And he said-

(longer pause)

No, wait, I forgot to mention that when he saw he-um, the other place, he saw people gambling and having a good time, so he decided to go there. And when he saw the devils with pitchforks, he asked St. Peter why it wasn't like how it was before, so St. Peter says, "Oh, that was just the demo."

(pause. frown)

Oh, I don't think I told it right. Sharklady, you tell it.

**Dante Bunny** · 05-27-2001, 12:26 AM

If he does something wrong, can he go to HFIL for me (Home for Infinte Losers). Cell, Frezia and the Ginyu Force are causing trouble down there.

**Jack** · 05-27-2001, 12:49 AM

Danielle, I heard that joke, only, it had a salesman, not Bill Gates.

A salesman dies and is greeted by St. Peter, who tells him he has a choice, he can either go to Heaven or Hell. So St. Peter opens the gates of Heaven and the salesman sees everyone being bored, in clouds, doing nothing. Then he showed the salesman Hell, which showed everyone gambling, dancing, and having loads of fun. So, St Peter asked the salesman where he wanted to spend eternity, and the salesman says he wants to go to Hell, so off he went, but when he got there, he met with images of people burning, being poked with pitchforks, and screaming in pain. So the salesman asked the devil why everyone was having such fun when he first visited, but now everything was different, and the devil said "Oh, that was just the demo".

Jack

**Narfpinky** · 05-27-2001, 01:14 AM

Originally posted by (late?) Craig
I know how you voted!

Really? Then what did I vote for? Starve, Bonus, or Continue?

And if you know how I voted, what else do you know about me? Would that mean you know what I did last summer?

Narfpinky