HUMOR: Halloween Safety Tips!

[Anthonynotes]

Halloween once again is here, and so here's a few tips for enjoying the day with utmost safety in mind ("borrowed" from the Los Angeles Fire Department's page: http://www.lafd.org/hween.htm), courtesy of our own favorite KWB stars!:

1. Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that costumes are short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with flame.

[See: the Warners wearing "shiny pants and shirts", with mirrors strapped to their heads, and with mirrored sunglasses. They make the mistake of stopping off at a tanning salon, with various patrons all but blinded....]

2. Think twice before using simulated knives, guns or swords. If such props must be used, be certain they do not appear authentic and are soft and flexible to prevent injury.

[WAKKO: Does it say anything about "simulated" mallets?

DOT: How can mallets be "simulated"?

WAKKO: Well, they take old stock footage of me using a mallet, and---

DOT: *Never mind*....]

3. Plan ahead to use only battery powered lanterns or chemical lightsticks in place of candles in decorations and costumes.

[Cut to the Warners trying to yank Green Lantern's power ring and lantern away from him....]

4. Openly discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior at Halloween time.

[BRAIN: For the last time, renting a U-Haul for trick-or-treating is *not* appropriate....

BILLIE: Aw, come on....I can't very well simply teleport all the goods Pinky and I will be gettin' back to the lab. (Pauses) Unless... (runs off to try to draw up plans for a transporter)]

5. Consider purchasing individually packaged healthy food alternatives (or safe non-food treats) for those who visit your home.

[WARNERS: (make various noises expressing disgust)

WAKKO: But Halloween's about *sugar*, and *milk chocolate*, and *FD&C Red #40*.....]

6. Consider safe party guidelines when hosting an Adult or Office Party.

[DOT: Which means hands off the female temp help, Yakko....

YAKKO: Hmph. I thought this was a *party*...]

7. A good meal prior to parties and trick-or-treating will discourage youngsters from filling up on Halloween treats.

[DOT: (Eying Wakko swallow the refrigerator whole, then look around hungrily for more). Uh....huh]

8. A Parent or responsible Adult should always accompany young children on their neighborhood rounds.

[Dot eyes various candidates for "responsible adults", including a vampire, a werewolf, some deranged lunatic, Axel Foley, and the guy who was responsible for allowing "Battlefield: Earth" to get produced. She decides to go with the werewolf, to the dismay of the others....]

9. Only go to homes with a porch light on.

[Cut to the H! cast of kids, pounding on the doors and windows of someone's house who *doesn't* have a porch light on, with Toast yelling "c'mon, dude, we know you're home! Give us the goods!"]


10. No treats are to be eaten until they are thoroughly checked by an Adult at home.

[Cut to a shot of Superman sitting at a card table, scanning various bags of holiday goods with his x-ray vision....he looks fairly bored...

SUPERMAN: Good...good...good.... "best if eaten by October 1974".... good...good...."tastes great, less filling".... good....good...]

11. Finally: Try to apportion treats for the days following Halloween.

[WAKKO: (Eyeing an entire side of the water tower stuffed with bags) Um, *days*? As in, more than *one*?]

Happy Halloween, all....

-B.
Who notes candy's already at 50% off at the drugstore near his house....woohoo!

[Singin' Stray Cat]

Hehe, I like it! That's even better than the "20 Ways to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters" I was going to post - and it's a lot more original, too.

[DanniB]

That was LOL it's always funny to see people try to tell us stuff we already know from our parents and tv and common sense and paranoia etc.

[Anthonynotes]

Originally posted by DanniB
That was LOL it's always funny to see people try to tell us stuff we already know from our parents and tv and common sense and paranoia etc.

You're welcome...and though technically supposed to be Thanksgiving-related, I wrote a "Monster Mash" song parody (with Brain in the "Boris" singing-role) for the chainlink "A Very Wakko Thanksgiving" story (in the newest post) on the Story Board...

-B.

[Sharklady]

Aw, Brainatra, *you* ought to be writing those public service spots- you're better at it than 95% of the clowns that are doing it now.

[Danielle]

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii think it's more than 95%.

[BourgeoisBuffoon]

Man...why couldn't I get this version of Halloween safety tips when *I* could still go trick-or-treat? This was a pretty good read, Brainatra. Keep up the good work!

[Anthonynotes]

Originally posted by BourgeoisBuffoon
Man...why couldn't I get this version of Halloween safety tips when *I* could still go trick-or-treat? This was a pretty good read, Brainatra. Keep up the good work!

I'd hold off on the "good work" compliment until you've seen my (weak) parody of the song "Get Your Kicks on Route 66" on the Story Board... :-)

-B.
Heard the song sung at a local cabaret theater production, and thought it was pretty catchy...even if a bit dated (with Interstates and flying and all)