I hate people, volume 5, article 2: Di$ney (pt. 3)

[Zorakfan]

Ok, this is the final straw.

It's been bad enough that lately disney's been churning out more bad sequels than Rocky (after 3) and Megaman. (After...hell, I lost count)

This was bad, it upset me...hell, spurned a little bloodlust. The plots were horrid, they were crushing my beloved childhood cinema, and I did nothing but hope the films failed horribly.

I've also had to sit through a bunch of their other, non-animated crap, and that's made me angry too.

Snow Dogs, Lizzy Mc guire, various others.

All pale in comparison to this.


You see, one of the few pleasures I find incredibly....pleasureful on this mortal coil include that of the wonderous world of video games. Ah, yes. Pixellated bliss first originating from the late 70's and early 80's, from pong, to pacman, to donkey kong, to mario, etc, before reaching what is, in my mind, the pinnacle of video gaming.

Yes, The RPG. One RPG series to be exact. Undisputed king of RPG series in the modern world, Final Fantasy.

"What does this have to do with disney?" You ask. Well, as any gamer 'in the know' is aware, Disney has teamed up with the creators of FF to create 'Kingdom Hearts', basically Final fantasy...only disney. Yes, that's right, everything's cutsy and whatnot, the plot involves a super villain which captures mickey, the hero looks exactly like zidane and/or zell, and it's just a kiddie's RPG. Hell, I didn't really mind it at all. Cute little kiddy game. Get em hooked on RPGS.


How wrong I was.

(p.s. non-FF veterans please leave now, the rant becomes confusing and stupid...even MORE so if you haven't played any FFs)
You see, Disney took whatever I have that can be considered a soul, ripped it from my body, then put it in a blender of spite analogous to that of a certain baby from "Home Movies". How did they commit this horrible deed? Well, they used a little 5 letter word known to be the greatest blessing, and greatest curse of the entertainment industry.

CAMEO.


Et tu, Yuffie?

This was a freaking omni-slash to my SOUL

Cameo-S, to be exact. Apparently, and I'm going to wager a guess here, Disney wanted to add a draw for FF veterans into the mix, so during your crusade to save everyone's favorite, over-exploited mouse, you can meet Wakka from FFX, or Selphie from FF8. Hell, I guess I can even let that slide a little. Now, knowing that that isn't what upset me, I'll let you guess what did. Anyone who's played the recent Final Fantasies will know. Disney commited the most heinous thing they could to the series. Go ahead, guess.

Still haven't figured it out?







...please kill me.

Wow, they've shattered my gaming unreality. Aeris was the coolest final fantasy character ever. I could write a whole freaking page about it, as most rabid FF fans like I could, but I'll skip the pleasantries. They just might desecrate her. It's not final yet, like the other cameos, but chances are looking good she'll be in there. I mean, WHY? She's dead! She died a heroic, yet unbearably sad death! Don't bring her back! It'll be too sad for all us fanboys! Just disney trying to appeal to a broader audience and sell more copies of this stupid game. I beseech you, write to squaresoft. Tell them NOT to put Aeris in Kingdom hearts. I know I am. Personally, this is a more pleasing concept:



Ok, I've bored you long enough. Get crackin on those letters!

--Das angry zorakfan

GIR! RELEASE THE GAMERS!

Here's just one site with said news if ye don't believe me

[Zorakfan]

Put up an online petition for those of you too lazy to use the ole' pony express.

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_pe...-sign.cgi?akh7

[Squall]

What are you worrying about? I think you're worrying about nothing here...

Kingdom Hearts doesn't have anything to do with the official Final Fantasy storylines. It's alternate reality. It's not like Batman and Robin appearing on Scooby Doo links Scooby Doo to Batman: The Animated Series! Those two shows have nothing to do with each other, and the guest appeance of Batman and Robin was "just for the fun of it."

Now, if Scooby Doo appeared on Batman: The Animated Series... THEN I'd start ranting and complaining!

Believe it or not, I think Disney is taking steps in the right direction with their franchises. I hated it when Disney had a "holier than thou" attitude with all their franchises. And yes, some of the sequels to Disney movies have been bad, but a few have been good too. I liked Toy Story 2, the two Aladdin sequels, and The Lion King's sequel!

So I say, give Kingdom Hearts a chance! Have faith in Squaresoft -- they have the best track record in the video game business.

I understand your frustration, though. When you really love something, threats to that which you love can freak you out. I was really freaked out last week over the whole "Timm & Co. may quit Justice League in its prime to make a Teen Titans series" issue, until Timm confirmed that he WOULD give Justice League a 3rd Season (or more), if the ratings allow it. (Whew!)

Just remember, that you vote with your wallet! If no one rents or buys Disney's movies and video games, then Disney will change its strategy. It's the free market working in its simplicity and full beauty -- if people don't buy it, then the problem will take care of itself.

[The Mad Hatter]

Disney has nothing to do with the fact that FF characters are in Kingdom Hearts... that's a Square call. And since Square made both the FF series and Kingdom Hearts... well, I'd say the series is in good hands.

Go into it with an open mind... it could be fun! In fact, I'm looking forward to it. I'll give any game a try that's weird enough to mix FF characters, Winnie the Pooh, and Jack Skellington (among many others).

[Zorakfan]

Oh, I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad game, I'm saying it's bad because of the Aeris cameo. It's like bringing back Bambi's mother, or altering casablanca so that humphrey gets on that plane too, and ends up killing his lover's husband because he's a nazi or something. You just owe it to the fans to not do it.

[Evil Dr. Reef]

Well, here's my take on this (prompted by death threats from Zorakfan):

AERIS!!!!! SUMMON THE MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Squall]

Well, it would be one thing if Squaresoft made a direct sequel to Final Fantasy VII, and brought Aeris back to life. Yes, I agree, in that case that would be blasphemy!

But Kingdom Hearts has nothing whatsoever to do with the "Universe" of Final Fantasy VII. It's such an alternate reality, in fact, that you might as well bring in anyone and everyone you want!

I think that, in the entertainment industry, there are two 'types' of "Universes": ones meant to be taken seriously (like the "Universes" of the Final Fantasy games, Dini/Timm DC Universe cartoons, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc.) -- and ones meant to be taken lightly (like Scooby Doo, and the Cartoon Cartoon cartoons on the Cartoon Network (that's a tounge twister! ) for example).

People want the serious Universes to be taken seriously (count me among them!), and people enjoy the not-so-serious Universes to be as wacky as possible (count me among them too!).

To repeat my example that illustrates this: Batman and Robin appearing on Scooby Doo is funny (and cool!) , but Scooby Doo appearing on Batman: The Animated Series would be blasphemy!

So, with all that analysis done, I can say it'll be nice to see Aeris again, and I look forward to using her character again!

[Zorakfan]

I'm still iffy about it. Everyone should know by now I stand adamant when I say something, to the bitter, screaming, blender-jamming end.

[Web Head]

I'm pretty much of the opinion that as long as Square keeps making Final Fantasies (odd phrase, ain't it?) that live up to past standards, I'm happy. And like you said, let's get the kids hooked on RPGs early, like I was with the original FF.

Oh, and Zorakfan...

It's like bringing back Bambi's mother, or altering casablanca so that humphrey gets on that plane too

There WAS a version of Casablanca with a happy ending. Bart and Lisa Simpson found it, and the former studio president paid them to destroy it, so rest easy. Although I would have liked to see the alternate version of It's A Wonderful Life with the killing spree ending.

[JL Man]

Eh, I don't think it'll be so bad. I mean when we start to get Jack Skellington it kinda throws the lameness outta there. However, who is that cameo from FFVIII? Is it Laguna?