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  1. #1
    The Man in Black's Avatar
    The Man in Black is online now I have 5 of broats
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    "Clerks" - Episode 4 - Talkback

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    CLERKS! Awesome show......review this episode.......

    Jay slips in the Quickstop and sues Dante for ten mil; Dante has Randal defend him.

    "His friend Randell claims he suffers from cronic nocturnal emmisions in which he crys out the name of the heavyset women they always meet at the laundrymat"

    Your Leonardo County Jury!

    Dante: RST is where people are supposed to rent movies.
    Randal: Tell that to Disco Granny.
    Disco Granny: Dum-Dum!
    Randal: That's my club name.

    [over the telephone]
    Voice: I'm going to burn this place to the ground and pee-pee on the ashes!
    Dante: Oh my god, who's that?
    Randal: That's... That's Regis.

    Randal: How the hell can you sleep at night?

    [NBA jury comes in]
    Dante: Oh my god, they're all black. Where's Chris Mullen?

    Reporter: Jay, don't you hate people who try to do Austin Powers impressions?
    Jay: Yeah, baby, yeah!
    Reporter: Oh, behave!

    Randal: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you. He loves grape soda. He knows what it's like when the guy in the supermarket won't take your "food stamps." Or how it feels to wait all month for your welfare check. Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!

    Randal: Show us on the doll where they touched you!
    Dante: Nobody touched me!
    Randal: Who was it? There's no more running from your past! Who touched you?
    Dante: I hate you.

    Lawyer: Here to question Mr. Hicks are two giggling girls.
    Girl: Okay. Do you, like, have a girlfriend?
    Dante: No, I don't have a girlfriend.
    Girl: Omigod, I told you!

    Randal: Do you think Phantom Menace is as good of a movie as Empire?
    George Lucas: Well, certainly, I think it's the best movie I've made yet.
    Randal: Permission to treat this witness as hostile. Mr. Lucas, how do you explain that in Star Wars Obi-Wan tells Luke when he met his father he was a great pilot, but in Menace he's just a little boy?
    Lucas: Well, my kids thought...
    Randal: And how come Obi-Wan tells Luke that Yoda is the Jedi that trains him, but in the movie Liam Neeson trains him?
    Lucas: Um, well, the power of myth...
    Randal: Isn't it true you knew this was a bad movie, that you wrote it over a weekend but told people you had it written for years?
    Lawyer: Objection! The pod race was pretty cool.

    Randal: Why the hell is he called Silent Bob, anyway?

    Axel: Billy! I need your help!
    Judge Reinhold: All right, Axel!

    [during a dream sequence]
    Commentator: Patrick Ewing actually makes the jump shot, and the Knicks win an important game!

    Voice: Who is driving! Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be? Car full of midgets!

    Voice: Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!

    BEST CLERKS EPISODE! AND MORE SO CAUSE I LUV ANIME!
    Last edited by The Man in Black; 02-24-2003 at 11:38 PM.


  2. #2
    Evil Dr. Reef's Avatar
    Evil Dr. Reef is offline The King of Braves
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    Ahh, the infamous "Bear is driving!" ep. Probably my favorite out of the 6, but not just because of the (spectacular) anime-esque sequence at the end. The whole ep is great, and the director's commentary makes it better. To anyone who doesn't own the DVD set of eps, go plunk $15 down at your local Best Buy for it. You won't regret a cent of it. GRADE: A+++++.

    "Man no sleep under counter!"

  3. #3
    Captin "Hank" Murphy's Avatar
    Captin "Hank" Murphy is offline Free Labotamies for Apes.
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    I know, that anime ending was so freakin random and hillarious. lol
    Click here to see my work.

    And yes, I know I spelled Captain wrong.

  4. #4
    Mynd Hed's Avatar
    Mynd Hed is offline Holy blue on a popo!
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    This is the only episode I managed to catch on TV as opposed to the DVD. I vaguely remember flipping through the channels and coming to this odd cartoon in a courtoom scene. I almost flipped away from it, but then they called George Lucas to the stand and I knew I had to keep watching. Sure enough, they skewered him like the dirty meat puppet he is, and without knowing the name of the show or that it was connected with Kevin Smith, I fell in love with it. When I saw the anime ending, I knew that this show was pure genius. I searched all over the TV Guide for when the next episode would air, but to no avail: it was gone. It wasn't until years later, when I saw a DVD marked "Clerks: Uncensored" that I finally learned the name of this beautiful show and got to see the first half of the episode along with its five brethren in all their uncut glory.

    Overall Grade: A+

  5. #5
    The Drizzle's Avatar
    The Drizzle is offline BARRY! =(
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    Originally posted by Evil Dr. Reef
    "Man no sleep under counter!"
    Priceless. You've got to love DVD commentary.
    "I'd like to be a race car passenger, just the guy that bugs the driver. 'Can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide.'"
    - Mitch Hedberg

    __________________

  6. #6
    Scythemantis's Avatar
    Scythemantis is offline With Soar-Throat Ghost
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    NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I started to record this episode, but not much seemed to be going on and I didn't have much room left on the tape, so I stopped recording while I went out because I wanted to record futurama.

    I heard so much about the "anime" ep and wanted to see it, but had no idea it was this one.
    Webmaster of Bogleech.com

  7. #7
    Jade_GL's Avatar
    Jade_GL is offline An Aperture Science Original
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    Oh man, this is my second fave episode (the fifth being my absolute fave of all time) and I watched it on TV, even though I own the DVD and have seen it about a zillion times.

    Love the ending. My favorite part was Tom Cruise jumping down and the line "Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!"

    That was great.

    Also, I loved every joke with the Jury and with Patrick Ewing. I wish this show was on TV right now with new episodes. Just seeing the genius of the jokes and the animation makes me wish for many more seasons. Sigh, too late for that..... Stupid ABC.....
    If you dig games, movies and other interesting topics, come and listen to the Happy Pineapple.com Podcasts, hosted by Scott and Erin. Be gentle, we're still learning...

  8. #8
    Auggie Doggie's Avatar
    Auggie Doggie is offline Timmy Turner
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    Hilarious ep! I was laughing uncontrollably during the end sequence! LOL
    I think Scooby-Doo is knida over-rated and all of the HB Dogs should be praised.
    Wouldn't it be great if their could be more Peanuts specials on DVD?
    It was just what my career needed - I was at the top and now I'm at the bottom.
    -Halle Berry, after "winning" the Razzie Award for Worst Actress

  9. #9
    Floydian Slip's Avatar
    Floydian Slip is offline ASTRONOMY DOMINE
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    the soda can is back in his hand!!!!!
    best ep ever!!!! A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++(x infinity)
    And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
    You shout and no one seems to hear
    And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
    I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

  10. #10
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    I love this show. This episode was one of my favorites (especially the verdict). My only regret was that it's only six episodes long.
    OK, back to lurking...

  11. #11
    turbomog007's Avatar
    turbomog007 is offline Sexy Randal The Pharaoh Wizard
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    I love the ending of this episode and Randal trying to act black was hilarious .
    BIG O
    GO

    Snootch To The Noonch!

  12. #12
    The Man in Black's Avatar
    The Man in Black is online now I have 5 of broats
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    for those who wish to view it once more or if you haven't seen it yet the reprise is tonight at 2 AM apparently (still has to watch)


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