"Clerks" - Episode 4 - Talkback

**The Man in Black** · 02-24-2003, 10:27 PM

CLERKS! Awesome show......review this episode.......

Jay slips in the Quickstop and sues Dante for ten mil; Dante has Randal defend him.

"His friend Randell claims he suffers from cronic nocturnal emmisions in which he crys out the name of the heavyset women they always meet at the laundrymat"

Your Leonardo County Jury!

Dante: RST is where people are supposed to rent movies.
Randal: Tell that to Disco Granny.
Disco Granny: Dum-Dum!
Randal: That's my club name.

[over the telephone]
Voice: I'm going to burn this place to the ground and pee-pee on the ashes!
Dante: Oh my god, who's that?
Randal: That's... That's Regis.

Randal: How the hell can you sleep at night?

[NBA jury comes in]
Dante: Oh my god, they're all black. Where's Chris Mullen?

Reporter: Jay, don't you hate people who try to do Austin Powers impressions?
Jay: Yeah, baby, yeah!
Reporter: Oh, behave!

Randal: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you. He loves grape soda. He knows what it's like when the guy in the supermarket won't take your "food stamps." Or how it feels to wait all month for your welfare check. Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!

Randal: Show us on the doll where they touched you!
Dante: Nobody touched me!
Randal: Who was it? There's no more running from your past! Who touched you?
Dante: I hate you.

Lawyer: Here to question Mr. Hicks are two giggling girls.
Girl: Okay. Do you, like, have a girlfriend?
Dante: No, I don't have a girlfriend.
Girl: Omigod, I told you!

Randal: Do you think Phantom Menace is as good of a movie as Empire?
George Lucas: Well, certainly, I think it's the best movie I've made yet.
Randal: Permission to treat this witness as hostile. Mr. Lucas, how do you explain that in Star Wars Obi-Wan tells Luke when he met his father he was a great pilot, but in Menace he's just a little boy?
Lucas: Well, my kids thought...
Randal: And how come Obi-Wan tells Luke that Yoda is the Jedi that trains him, but in the movie Liam Neeson trains him?
Lucas: Um, well, the power of myth...
Randal: Isn't it true you knew this was a bad movie, that you wrote it over a weekend but told people you had it written for years?
Lawyer: Objection! The pod race was pretty cool.

Randal: Why the hell is he called Silent Bob, anyway?

Axel: Billy! I need your help!
Judge Reinhold: All right, Axel!

[during a dream sequence]
Commentator: Patrick Ewing actually makes the jump shot, and the Knicks win an important game!

Voice: Who is driving! Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be? Car full of midgets!

Voice: Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!

BEST CLERKS EPISODE! AND MORE SO CAUSE I LUV ANIME!

**Evil Dr. Reef** · 02-24-2003, 11:20 PM

Ahh, the infamous "Bear is driving!" ep. Probably my favorite out of the 6, but not just because of the (spectacular) anime-esque sequence at the end. The whole ep is great, and the director's commentary makes it better. To anyone who doesn't own the DVD set of eps, go plunk $15 down at your local Best Buy for it. You won't regret a cent of it. GRADE: A+++++.

"Man no sleep under counter!"

**Captin "Hank" Murphy** · 02-25-2003, 12:37 AM

I know, that anime ending was so freakin random and hillarious. lol

**Mynd Hed** · 02-25-2003, 12:50 AM

This is the only episode I managed to catch on TV as opposed to the DVD. I vaguely remember flipping through the channels and coming to this odd cartoon in a courtoom scene. I almost flipped away from it, but then they called George Lucas to the stand and I knew I had to keep watching. Sure enough, they skewered him like the dirty meat puppet he is, and without knowing the name of the show or that it was connected with Kevin Smith, I fell in love with it. When I saw the anime ending, I knew that this show was pure genius. I searched all over the TV Guide for when the next episode would air, but to no avail: it was gone. It wasn't until years later, when I saw a DVD marked "Clerks: Uncensored" that I finally learned the name of this beautiful show and got to see the first half of the episode along with its five brethren in all their uncut glory.

Overall Grade: A+

**The Drizzle** · 02-25-2003, 03:07 AM

Originally posted by Evil Dr. Reef
"Man no sleep under counter!"

Priceless. You've got to love DVD commentary.

**Scythemantis** · 02-25-2003, 11:39 AM

NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started to record this episode, but not much seemed to be going on and I didn't have much room left on the tape, so I stopped recording while I went out because I wanted to record futurama.

I heard so much about the "anime" ep and wanted to see it, but had no idea it was this one.

**Jade_GL** · 02-25-2003, 02:39 PM

Oh man, this is my second fave episode (the fifth being my absolute fave of all time) and I watched it on TV, even though I own the DVD and have seen it about a zillion times.

Love the ending. My favorite part was Tom Cruise jumping down and the line "Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!"

That was great.

Also, I loved every joke with the Jury and with Patrick Ewing. I wish this show was on TV right now with new episodes. Just seeing the genius of the jokes and the animation makes me wish for many more seasons. Sigh, too late for that..... Stupid ABC.....