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  1. #101
    Monterey Jack's Avatar
    Monterey Jack is offline Senior Member
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    From "All Singing, All Dancing":

    LISA: That was pretty bad, Bart / but it could have been worse

    You could have been carrying / a sequined purse!

    BART: I hate to dance / and prance and sing!

    That's really more / of a Milhouse thing!
    "First, ye rubs something furry t' build up a charge...then ye picks yer target!"

  2. #102
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    Robochao is offline Member
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    Moe: Hiya Homer!

    Homer: Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe.
    happy sig is happy

  3. #103
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    rizwan787 is offline Member
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    Little Vickey: "I'm ever so pissed!"
    "The eyes are the groin of the head."
    Dwight Shcrute

  4. #104
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    Robochao is offline Member
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    Milhouse: So this is what it's like when doves cry..
    -------------

    THRILLHO
    happy sig is happy

  5. #105
    chalmers's Avatar
    chalmers is offline Role Model
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    Since I just saw this in a preview for tomorrows syndicated episode, I'll post the funniest lines.

    Woman in funeral home: "Would you like to be a pallbearer?"
    Homer: "Of course."
    (outside carrying casket) Homer: "Aww, I thought she said 'Polar Bear'!"

    Later on at Dr. Hibbert's

    Homer: "You told me to eat more dirt!"
    Hibbert: "No, I told you to eat more vegetables."
    Homer: "Which grow in...?"
    Animation Revelation All the cool kids are doing it, why aren't you?

    "Oh shut up, you're wasting valuable smashing time!"- Sideshow Mel in "Bart After Dark"

  6. #106
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    From Radioactive Man:

    Lunchlady Doris: At last, the world is safe. Eh, Fallout Boy?
    Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?
    Producer: Next.
    Ralph: Chicken necks?

    ^ Perhaps the best Wiggum exchange ever. And another fave in the same episode:

    "Look behind you, Radioactive Man! The sun is exploding again!"
    "Bart, what are you talking about?"
    "Yeah, and who the hell are you talking to? Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive Men?"

    From Homer Alone:

    "Hello, guv'ner! Lube job while you wait?"
    "Don't touch me."

    ^ Classic double entendre.

    From Simpson Safari:

    "Start over! I want all the items in one bag."
    "Yes, ma'am."
    "But I don't want the bag to be heavy."
    "I don't think that's possible."
    "What are you, the Possible Police? Just do it!"

    ^ Even in the post-classic seasons, Agnes is usually pretty reliable for comedy. I love the way she says "Possible Police".

    From Lisa the Skeptic:

    "Your honor, over the coming weeks and months..."

    ^ I love how the lawyer openly admitted that the trial would waste months of everybody's time. It's not a joke that gets mentioned too much, but I love it.

    From Homer's Phobia:

    "So this is your sick mother?"
    "Don't do this to me, Waylon!"

    From Lisa Gets an "A":

    "Nasty business, that zero. Naturally, Harvard's doors are now closed to you. But we'll pass on your application to... (snickers) Brown."
    "Mmm, heck of a school. Weren't you at Brown, Otto?"
    "Yup. Almost got tenure, too!"

    From The Canine Mutiny:

    "Well crying isn't gonna bring him back. Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit here and eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food for your dog to come back, or you can go out there and find your dog!"

    ^ Classic Homer string.

    From Two Dozen and One Greyhounds:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end. This... is the end of dog racing."

    From The Last Temptation of Homer:

    "Homer... I have a wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble."
    "(worried) Oh, Mindy, we have to fight our temptations!"
    "No Homer, let's do it. LET'S CALL ROOM SERVICE!"
    "Oh."

    ^ A bit overexposed, since it also appeared in the second clip show, but still a great unexpected joke.

    From Mobile Homer:

    "Haw haw! People died in those shirts!"

    ^ One of my favorite Nelson "Haw haw"s.

    From Mountain of Madness:

    "Only who can prevent forest fires?" (Bart presses a button) You pressed "you," referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is "you"."

    ^ A similar joke appeared in season 12's "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"

    From Simpson Tide:

    "Milhouse, my mom wears earrings. Do you think she's cool?"
    "No. I THINK SHE'S HOT! Sorry, it just slipped out."

    From Realty Bites:

    "I'm tired of being cooped up in this house all the time."
    "Open a window!"

    ^ In fact, that whole exchange is amusing, such as Homer saying he already went to the azalea festival because Lenny really wanted to go, and his sarcastic "Friends of the Library".

    From The Haw-Hawed Couple:

    "Who will spot the playful abalone? The mighty winkle? I think it might be you, Sherri." (Sherri gasps in excitement)

    ^ Love how excited Sherri is about looking for fish.

  7. #107
    Radical Raven's Avatar
    Radical Raven is offline Bow bow bow, bow bow bow...
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    Last nights episode was pretty bad, but I liked this bit near the end:

    "If this movie had one flaw, it is that it was the WORST. MOVIE. EVER."
    Blogs were invented so that unfunny people could have places where they could be unfunny. Therefore they were invented for ME! See mine here.

    Hahaha just kidding I BELIEVE IN ME.

  8. #108
    Rocketboy's Avatar
    Rocketboy is offline It's party time
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    "Sorry, I'm not allowed to divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account. ... Oh crap, I shouldn't have said it was a customer. Oh crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! ... Oh, it's too hot today. "

  9. #109
    Jave's Avatar
    Jave is offline So Smashing... In Space!
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    Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was _I_ who wronged _you_. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
    Homer: You're...selling _what_, now?
    Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
    Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door]
    Apu: He's got me there.

    Another great "Homer says something smart" exchange.
    Jave's Support Gallery - My Tumblr Blog detailing my current run of Fire Emblem: Awakening.

    What a Cartoon Review Blog - My own project where the goal is to write a detailed review to the original 48 WAC shorts.

  10. #110
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    rizwan787 is offline Member
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    Homer goes to the sea captain's restaurant for his "all you can eat special." But Homer's stomach appearing to know no bounds, the sea captain has him thrown out before he could have all he can eat. So he goes to Lionel Hutz to sue the sea captain.

    Hutz: "This is the most fraudulent case of false advertising I’ve seen since my suit against the film 'The Never Ending Story.'"
    Homer: "Do you think I have a case?"
    Hutz: "Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' very often. But you... you are the greatest hero in American history."
    Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"
    "The eyes are the groin of the head."
    Dwight Shcrute

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