Belch's Brief Reviews--Nov 3, 2001

[DR. BELCH]

POKJLC: "The Trouble With Snubbull"
The pretty-in-pink bulldog finds her one true love again--Meowth's hindquarters. Unfortunately the Scratch-Cat tells her bitterly that he despises her and violently spurns her affections. Snubbull is broken-hearted, and it doesn't help matters that she, filled with amorous delusions, bites a Mankey's tail and gets belted for it. "The only good Snubbull," Meowth declares, "is a lost one." I wonder if the dubbers edited out "dead" because that'd disturb kids?
Meanwhile, Snubbull's mistress, along with her butler, has been searching hither and yon for her dog, and on the course of the journey bulked up. There's a rather disturbing scene where she flexes for Ash and Brock and Misty like a middle-aged Nicole Bass.
Jessy and James figure that Snubbull is worth money if they return the little nipper to her owner and cozy up to the dame. What they don't know is that Snubbull, using the power of hurt feelings and her tussle with the pig-monkey, has evolved into Granbull, a hideous grey tusked thing that looks like it should adorn University of Georgia sweatshirts.
Team Rocket schemes to get Uga--I mean, Granbull--to bite down on the tail of a giant Meowth-bot and dump it in acage, but after Ash calls out Cyndaquil to heat it up, Meowth is disoriented and ends up shooting off the tail missile, blasting the big ugly into the woods. Granbull and her owner proceed to make short work of Team Rocket, and afterward embark on a vigorous training schedule. Presunmably the synthetic realistic artificial genuine pseudoforest environment model the old lady's having built on her place will have to be modified...maybe with a weight bench, an exercise bike and a juice bar.
Though I'm going to miss that little pink moppet fawning unrequitedly over the Scratch Cat. Evolution is always a bittersweet thing....

"The Grass Route"
Ash enters a grass Pokemon competition on the way to Ecrateak (however you spell it) City, and is extremely overconfident and vulgarly proud. He is very quickly humiliated, however, when a boy named Ephiram beats him with a Skippip, which is an evolved Hoppip (which I'm presuming evolves again into a Jumpip. Some of these dub names are a hoot.)
Ephiram's parents are the lazzeis-faire outcome-based education-favoring "success-isn't-important-no-one-loses-just have-fun" hippie types one often sees in the left-leaning academic universe...the type that very quickly become harshly disillusioned about two minutes into the real world. I almost pitied the feeble way they rooted for their son, by cheering for him and then, so no one's feelings get hurt, cheering for Ash too. Man, will that Ephiram be one buggered-up adult, with that sort of parenting.
Pokemon battle-centered episodes are actually fairly routine, but Team Rocket was the high point! James (dressed like something out of the Arabian Nights) competes with Victoreebell, which surprisinly behaves itself and doesn't try to eat his head off ,which'd give them away. Then Jessy (dressed in her peekaboo Barbara Eden number from the ep just before the Indigo League) appears with Meowth dressed in his Sunflora suit ("Grin to Win"). The bit with Ash confounded as to how a Sunflora knows Meowth attacks is priceless. But after the ruse is discovered, sadly the Rockets blast off again pretty fast. I blinked and missed it.
long story short, Ash learns a hard lesson about getting to uppity for one's own darn good, and Ephiram's parents learn that people in the real world do care about success. Which makes me wonder: if someone who doesn't think winning is important and wealth doesn't matter suddenly becomes successful and rich, do their brains aneurism from the cognitive dissonance?

I didn't watch much Cubix, as I retired to the kitchen to make breakfast, but it was about a robot who had been slapped together by Dr. K from scrap parts and several different CPUs, creating the Sybil of 'bots. Couldn't help but note Rachel Lillis does a great Jewish grandmother voice....

JCA: "Queen of the Shadowkhan"
Jackie acquires an old book from some archive that was written by one of the evil sorcerers that Uncle believes may contain information about how to defeat the demons and seal the portals forever. The things some people write in their diaries....
Envious over some boy in her class bragging about his tattoo, Jade wants to get one...and, despite Jackie's orders, does so by inking a copy of the raised demon head on the book jacket and pressing it to her ankle. What she doesn't realize--besides the existance of 99-cent peel-off tats--is that the demon's head is an arcane symbol of evil, and irremovable.
When Finn disguises himself as an art dealer and distracts Uncle, while the little mug with the glasses tunnels under the shop towards the library, the Dark Hand acquires the book. Jade spies them and tries to stop the goons, but gets cornered. Her cry for help is answered by the Shadowkhan (which leads to a great scene of Hok Fu being thoroughly pummeled by the ninja demons). Jade later realizes--after a troupe of the demons bring her breakfast--that she can control the Shadowkhan just like Chandu.
Meantime Chandu realizes that he can no longer control his shadow minions. He believes Jackie is using the demon book against him, is even angrier to find that a mere child has one-upped him.
Jade is being corrupted by the dark magic (incidentally, when her skin turned greenish and her eyes went red, did anyone think she looked a little like a female Invader Zim?) and orders her Shadowkhan to take over Section 13 ("A queen must have a palace!") and kidnap someone who can read ancient Chinese spells--which I thought would be Uncle, but the shadow warriors went right for their old master Chandu (who is pleased at this development, scheming to work it to his advantage, though Valmont is furious).
Once in Section 13 Valmont demands the talismans, but Chandu takes over and tries to persuade the corrupted Jade into helping him. However, a minion (Tohru in disguise) steps forward and pours the antidote over Jade's ankle, causing her tattoo and her control over the demons to vanish. With her last bit of power Jade destroys the demon book and banishes Valmont/Chandu from Section 13.
Nit: When Jade inked, wet, and pressed the demon head to her leg, the image should have been reversed. I'm not sure if the artists properly depicted that, or whether displaying the demon head that way would affect its magic.
I knew black was slimming, but a big guy like Tohru should've been more evident in a Shadowkhan robe.
Does Valmont know the location of Section 13 now? I know the Shadowkhan made it dark when he passed from his hideout to the base, but he knows where the exit is. Couldn't he mark it, sneak in, and follow the passage in reverse later? Then again he isn't always himself these days....
Uncle doesn't seem too mad over the book's destruction...though I guess either he's happy Jade's safe, or he realized it's too dangerous to have around and burning it up was a good thing....

XMEN: "Adrift"
Scott and Alex end up marooned off the coast of Hawaii after the kid insists on surfing waves during a hurricane, and Scott has to save him after he wipes out. The boat capsizes and leaves them at the mercy of the storm.
This was meant to be dramatic, but the bit where lightning hit the propeller of the rescue copter and sunk it came off a bit contrived. It also became up to the mutants to save their friends using their powers. I think it'd have been a better story all around if the reverse were true--the mutants were unable to do anything and in the end, it took human muscle and guts and sweat to bring the boys in safe. Note also that Xavier didn't take any pains to save the rescue workers (though I guess he'd just have to mind-wipe them later, which is too-oft used here and so against his moral code; maybe it was better to leave them to their fate. Presumably someone sent a ship out for them later.)
There's a cameo by a kid they call "Bobby", who makes a snowball with his hands--presumably the original Iceman, Bobby Drake, who is at least the right age (same as Jean and Scott). Beast is there as well...and I'll never get why he's a teacher rather than a fellow student, as in the original stories, or the redesign. I thought thin was in with the X-Teens, but the artists went the other way with Hank McCoy--fatter face, limp hair...and I don't recall him having monkey feet before.
And Kurt is diddling with his hologram projector to impress Kitty (who is still inexplicably mooning over Lance/"Avalanche"). He makes himself appear buff, but then it goes on the fritz and leaves him in the lurch (notable moment--The Blob impersonation). Since his mother is a shape-shifter, why does he need technology to begin with? Although I suppose mutant genes are just as random and erratic as blue eyes or blonde hair in humans.
And yes, Kurt does look disturbingly nice as his female alter-ego, "Katrina"....

VIEWER ALERT!
Tomorrow Cartoon Network is running a 3-hr. Samurai Jack Marothon starting at noon...and for those who recieve WPIX New York, Star Wars is on at 3 p.m.

[Lonestarr]

Originally posted by DR. BELCH

XMEN: "Adrift"
And yes, Kurt does look disturbingly nice as his female alter-ego, "Katrina"....

Phew, and here I thought I was the only one who thought that. Thanks.

The episode of "The Nightmare Room" that aired yesterday was the one that led me to believe that (if his books are anything like this) R.L. Stine is the biggest hack in the history of the written word. "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" kills this show in just about every way.

[Jowy Blight]

And yes, Kurt does look disturbingly nice as his female alter-ego, "Katrina"....

I oddly thought the very same thing.........

[oranthal]

how many episodes of JCA are there? they have new shows on saturday and on monday.