Belch's Brief Reviews--May 24, 2001

[DR. BELCH]

POK JJ#348: "Love, Totodile Style"
The title sounds like it might have been taken from the latest effort by Cleavon Schpielbunk, his first foray into the seamy word of Pokemon adult films.
As Team Twerp picnics down by a river, Totodile performs some amusing feats of juggling...until he's distracted by the sight of a female Azumerrill on the other bank. Instantly he is seized by a red-hot feeling of interspecies lust reminiscent of the love of Snubull for Meowth (though I was hoping to see her in this one as well, she never appeared). Totodile appraoches the evolved water mouse and grunts a few sweet nothings in her big ear, but she is decidedly unwooed. Ash seems befuddled by Totodile's behavior, but misty tells him he'll understand when he's older--code words for, "In a couple of years I'll give you some personal tutoring in the ways of womanhood, big boy."
When Misty spots a Golduck, she immediately prepares to catch it...but it turns out its the property of a girl who looks like a young redheaded Julie Newmar...complete with what I thought was a set of blue cat ears, but it was just an oversided hairbow. Now it's Brock's turn to go gaga. He must have really wanted this one, as he spells out his name for her...then ofers to give her his last name--which he's never done in nearly 350 shows!
After a polite refusal from the young Ms. Newmar, whose name we learn is Trixie, and a vicious ear-yank from the other redhead in Brock's life, Misty, we learn that the Golduck and Azumerrill are hers and she's in showbiz. She runs a Pokemon circus, and Miss Mousie is her prize attraction...but lately it's been slacking off and not obeying (shades of "Mr. Mime Time").
While Totodile shows off by crashing Azumerrill's act and juggling paper streamers and fruit the audience throws, Team Rocket, ever the showmen, scheme to swipe Trixie's whole act. They make off with the mouse, Totodile, and Pikachu and take them to a deserted cabin in the woods.
Here, a couple of points: Meowth complains he doesn't want Totodile to bite him on the tail again--but when did he do it before? Totodiles seem to go for Jessy's hair more than anything. Tail-biting's Snubull's job (and, again, sadly, she wasn't in this script.) Secondly, DYN that Jessy is very good with a whip? I'll refrain from speculating on the nature of her proficiency....
When aggression doesn't work, Jessy and James try killing their "guest" with kindness, but the ungrateful little water rat turns up its nose at the grub. Team Twerp shows up, and the Rocketeers put up a fight, but end up blasting off again.
Azumerrill seems overjoyed to see Totodlile--but wait, she runs into the arms of Golduck! The little croc is heartbroken...but not for long; soon it's making a pass at one of those little dolphin-things from "Once in a Blue Moon"! Misty then says what we've all been thinking all through the show--Totodile is a little Brock!
I suppose Ash should train Chikorita to drag Totodile away by the ear when he starts getting too hot under the collar.

MIB: The Zero to Hero Superhero Syndrome
When an electricity-eating parasite invades the downtown area, J and K are in hot pursuit. When two schoolchildren are endangered by the shock bug's antics, a meek crossing guard...flies to the rescue?
It turns out he's actually an alien, and thanks to a casual remark made by one of the boys, he now wants to be a superhero. Problem: he's an illegal immigrant, and if MIB catches him playing dresssup and flying about, he'll have his alien butt deported. Not listening to his wife, he dons spandex and a mask and becomes...Cosmosis, defender of justice and stuff like that there!
As a hero, he's a bust...and it's up to MIB to put the kibosh on him to keep other aliens in line--after all, can't have every Tom, Dick, and Venutian putting on tights and acting foolish.
Here's where it gets weird. J has to go undercover as a supervillian and is supposed to be infused with a computer chip containing information on various alien species and their talents...but Zeeltor frigs up and drops a Swiss army knife into the transformation chamber. If this guy is the best mind the alien scientific community has to offer its a wonder our planet hasn't been fragged by some Lobo-like joker by now.
Speaking of ugly mugs, there's a dude who looks like an alien pig with a little alien growing out his back, and he wants a piece of Cosmosis after seeing him on the news. More on him later.
The newly-dubbed Swiss Army Man goes into action and meets up with Cosmosis. They struggle, and S.A.M. defeats the wanna-be hero. Meanwhile K has to finish mopping up the shock bug. Good joke missed--J with all that metal in his body acting like a lighting rod to attract Sparky and winding up getting his circuits fried. Plus there's a go-round with a news chopper that's been tailing the MIB and Cosmosis the whole time.
After besting Cosmo, J has to deal with Pig-Boy ("Wood against lasers," he murmurs disgustedly as one of his hands turns into a toothpick.). Oddly enough, it's Cosmosis who helps deal with the overgrown hamhock. Though on this planet illegally, he's scored a few points with MIB and can apply for a citizenship visa in a few months...and his wife is only too happy to return to their home planet with him to wait while it comes through.
I wonder why MIB didn't think to use the gadget from "Super-Men in Black" to boost J's natural talents...they may not have had it on hand but surely they could make a couple of phone calls--? At one point I thought this script was just a vehicle for a sight gag featuring a dude in leiderhosen with forks for fingers, and there were too many villians popping up. Still, it was a hoot. Sort of reminded me of something on The Tick...or, better, Gizmoduck on Duck Tales (the bit where J kept malfunctioning and drilling his feet into the ground). It could have been worse--the worms could have spilled coffee into Zeeltor's new toy.
Nit: if Cosmo is married to a citizen, wouldn't that automatically make him one as well? Or are alien immigration laws different than human ones?
Listen for the E.T.--like music score during the bicycle sequence.
Another ep where Jeebs doesn't get his head blown off. Great line: "Normally something like this'd run ya $100...but for you--$99.95!"

[Nftnat]

Originally posted by DR. BELCH
Nit: if Cosmo is married to a citizen, wouldn't that automatically make him one as well? Or are alien immigration laws different than human ones?

Remember "I Married an Alien"? Altho they were more lax with that one. But then, was he in hiding? It's been awhile since I've seen it; better go back & look @ it again.