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Teen Titans Fan Fiction Winds of Fate: The X Factor (Teen Titans)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Destiny_Smasher, Sep 20, 2004.

  1. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    Oh, I see how it is. I make the 666th post on this thread, and it falls to 3rd page, with no signs of life in a weeks. Dandy.

    Well, I'm in college now, and getting no feedback at all doesn't motivate me much.

    But here's the next scene, for those still around.

    ----------



    “Ohhhh…This isn’t riiiiight…”



    An incredibly frustrated huff spilled from the little girl’s mouth as she pouted in spite of herself. This wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. She’d been wandering around for hours, tirelessly trudging from dimension to dimension. It got quite exhausting after a while, and she was getting REALLY hungry. Of course, when you were little, being hungry was a matter of life and death. The world screeched to a halt when you couldn’t do exactly what you wanted to do, and five minutes felt like a week.



    The girl was tempted to throw a tantrum, but somehow managed to dig up some self-control from within her tiny (and empty) gut, but it was burned up pretty quickly. She had to get to this place really soon…Hm…Maybe that buck-toothed kid with the cape could help her out?



    He was a chubby, short fellow with big eyes, a bulbous head, and large, goofy front teeth that poked out of his mouth. He wore a cape of yellow and black, and was dressed altogether to the likeness of a certain Teen Titan—not that Sideris could recognize this. His legs were hardly noticeable, and his arms were tiny, too, but, at the time, his right index finger was, to be put bluntly, freaking huge. Sideris could overlook the teeth, and the other things, but the FINGER…It kinda SCARED her. The boy was waving his finger around in the air—well, actually, it wasn’t air, but could be better described as time-space, or something to that extent. After observing the boy for a moment, Sideris was enthralled to see a small puppy scribbled into existence. Then again, maybe it wasn’t really a puppy. It was so sketchy and deformed, one would have some difficulty describing what, precisely, it was. As far as Sideris was concerned, it was a puppy—a green-lined, clear puppy with black, crayon-esque eyes. It was cute.



    A childish laugh that border-lined maniacal boomed from the boy as he twirled through the air, celebrating the ‘birth’ of his new creation. Suddenly, he noticed the girl that was watching him with confused eyes of emerald. He froze in mid flip, staring at her puzzled expression with one to match, hanging upside down. There was a calm, curious silence between them, until Sideris mumbled out a question, her face flushed red.



    “Umm…Could you help me…?”



    “Nosyarg Kcid helps everyone!” Declared the boy with confidence that was as bright and bold as the sun itself. He rapidly spun his body like a top, then bolted to the girl’s side, smiling a goofy smile mere inches from her face. Her neck craned back a little, and she couldn’t help but grin at his humorous attitude.



    “Nozzyerr…what?” she mumbled, clogging her laughs with a cork of solemnity.



    “NOZZ-YAHRG-KIHD!” the bizarre boy pressed, slamming the girl with slow, harsh syllables.



    The girl twirled her bitty finger through her springy, crimson ponytail for a moment as she mumbled, “I’m Sideris…”



    Nosyarg, with more enthusiasm than was healthy, perhaps, grabbed Sideris’ left arm, which was otherwise unoccupied, and jolted it up and down in quick, pumping motions, a piston of merriment.



    “Great!” he squealed. “So, what’s the problem? Nosyarg can help!”



    “Nozz…yer…” Sideris’ brain fizzled out at the mere thought of pronouncing the title of this being beyond her mind, which was already stretched thin, carrying weights beyond its normal limit. “Can I…just call you…Yoshi, or something…?”



    Nosyarg chuckled and lifted his gargantuan index finger to the small ‘R’ printed on his chest, changing the stitched emblem to a ‘Y.’



    “Sure! Yoshi it is!” Another giddy, overexerted laugh poured into Sideris’ ears, though one may wonder how sound was traveling when there was no air to be vibrated. Nosyarg, under his new alias, began to prance about in all manner of random celebration, proclaiming his new nickname to all who would listen—‘all’ being one little girl, of course.



    However, Sideris wasn’t in the mood to put up with what she anticipated would be a long, drawn out babble of pointlessness. Being of the same nature as Nosyarg, she had a VERY thin patience, and by the time the third ‘Yoshi’ had battered her eardrums, she was bored and irritated.



    She groaned and lifted her arms, trying to settle ‘Yoshi’ down, who was bounding around like a pinball, smacking into everything around in chaotic fashion. The multi-colored doors that littered this strange place were smashed by his rubbery body, and the poor little ‘dog’ that he had drawn earlier was shattered as he rolled through it like a grinning bowling ball. What little it had for a body was ripped to shreds that were forced outward, but continued to drift, onward and outward, as if no gravity held them down.



    Sideris’ arms dropped in a slouchy fit to her sides, and she pouted irritably, crossing the arms over her chest. Just when she didn’t expect it, her body was slammed from behind, causing her to go tumbling forward onto her face, her arms unable to react quickly enough to save her. She whimpered out in melodramatic agony for a few moments, lifting her short, thin body from the ‘ground,’ a slow and painful process.



    “What was that for?!” she growled out with blunt indignity.



    “Oops,” Nosyarg (‘Yoshi’) mumbled meekly, rubbing the back of his neck in shy regret.



    Sideris noticed his nonverbal apology was genuine, and felt foolish for inflating the mishap. She had places to go, things to do…She didn’t have time to play with this guy.



    “Um…Anyway, could you help me, please? I’m in a hurry.” The mumbled words slipped from her mouth with a grease-like quality.



    “What’s wrong?” the recently ‘re-named’ boy pondered.



    “I need to find the Teen Titans…” Sideris murmured with doubt, glanced at the multitude of doors around her, all of varying colors, sizes, and textures.



    Yoshi chuckled and slapped his knee. “Which ONES?” he asked incredulously, bouncing about on his bottom, which seemed to act like pair of rubber cheeks.



    “Um…” Sideris felt her intestines constrict her kidneys at the remark. A worst-case scenario popped into her brain: ‘I won’t be able to find them now.’



    “I gotta know more about which ones we’re lookin’ for,” Yoshi explained, waving his mystical finger through the air to draw a small rectangle. The shape took the form of a clipboard, and Yoshi summoned a purple crayon from his wrist like before. He prepared to scribble down an outline, and Sideris proceeded to fumble for details.



    “Mmm…There are…12 of them…Aaaand…one of them is named Mario…”



    Yoshi nodded quickly, jotting his scrawled notes down in haphazard form. Anyone else attempting to comprehend what he wrote would find no sense in his doodling, but he could understand it perfectly, apparently.



    “Mario, huh?” he muttered, amused. After staring at what little he had to go by thus far, he nodded in agreement with his own hunch and carelessly chucked the board and the crayon off. Instead of falling, they continued to float off. “Ohhh! I know what YOU’RE lookin’ for!” he slyly snickered, drifting into the air as casually as one stands up. “I saw it around here…” He ominously floated through the seizure-inducing avenue of portals to a small green door with a yellow ‘R’ painted on it. Yoshi paused before it and contemplated for a moment. Sideris jogged in pursuit, and came to a halt as abruptly as he had. Puzzled and inquisitive as to the location of her destination, she waited patiently.



    Yoshi nodded to himself and lunged out at the door, but, to Sideris’ surprise, he fly AROUND it. Wait, what? Where was he going?



    With a grunt, the young girl blew her bright red bangs up and sprinted off between the green door and one of its neighbors. She skidded to a screeching halt when she realized that Yoshi had stopped just behind the portal and was staring it from behind—there was another door. Only, this other door…WAS the door. But on this side, the letter ‘X’ was painted in a sloppy red.



    “It’s here, it’s here!” Yoshi exclaimed with joy, clapping his hands together repeatedly. “Come on!” He dashed to Sideris and snatched her by her fragile arm, tugging at her to follow him. Before she knew it, he’d swung the door open and had flung them both into it.



    ----------
     
  2. Robin96

    Robin96 Guest

    Lol! you're adding Larry! Well, larry-yoshi. I can't wait to find out why Sideris wants to find the titans. i can't wait for the next update!!:anime:
     
  3. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

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    Hmmm.......

    Ahh, Larry the Titan. Also known as Dick Grayson spelled backwards...:p ....

    This story is verrrrrrrrrrrry interesting....
     
  4. Rae

    Rae Insert amusing comment

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    That was great!

    I Love Nosyarg Kcid! He's great! And you wrote him really well!

    Rae
     
  5. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    :sad:

    Um...Right. So, in case ya haven't noticed, I haven't been all too motivated to write this so much, since I hardly ever hear from anyone even when I DO post an update.

    Edit:
    I've redone this scene and am posting it down below.
     
    #325 Destiny_Smasher, Oct 4, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2006
  6. Rae

    Rae Insert amusing comment

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    That was good! The bresakfast scene was entertaining, and i loved the interaction between Mario and Amy

    Hope you write more soon!

    Rae
     
  7. Robin96

    Robin96 Guest

    lalaala

    That was good! The bresakfast scene was entertaining, and i loved the interaction between Mario and Amy

    Hope you write more soon!

    sorry for the lack of originality, but i couldn't agree more.

    Link suddenly wondered why the hell all of this cooking was going on when they didn’t seem to have much to eat. Come to think of it, why hadn’t anyone done the grocery shopping in so long? Some superheroes—couldn’t even stay on top of the groceries…

    i absolutely loved that line. it made me laugh.
    __________________________________________________
    sorry. i don't know how to make it so it shows up as someone else saying it.:sweat:
     
    #327 Robin96, Oct 8, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2005
  8. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

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    Geez.....i havent replied in a long time (SSSSSSSOOOORRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:crying: )

    I have been reading it tho. And I have been saying "WOW!" through all these chapters.

    As for the last one....yeah, i found that pretty funny!!
     
  9. Funkatron

    Funkatron Active Member

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    Same here. Nice to catch up to this kickass story. Great work as always, Destiny Smasher
     
  10. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    Oh, wow...There's still people reading this. That's good, then. Haven't really heard from any fans anyWHERE in months, sooo...

    Yea. I'm in college now, meaning I don't quite so much have the time to do this stuff. I mean, I WILL finish this sooner or later.

    For right now, I'm gonna try and write a Naruto One-Shot to get my creative juices flowin', and see how that pans out first. Not having any writing classes this semester does NOT help, and neither does my desperate need for social interaction that can't seem to be craved.

    ---

    But I promise you, I WILL get back to this, sooner or later.

    I don't go back on my word--that's my way of the ninja.

    'Til then, see you on Mario Kart:DS, or something.
     
  11. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    Bumpety bump bump BUMP, eh?

    Well, after taking about 6 months of hiatus, I'm back in college again for my 2nd semester, and I'm trying to scrape up what fans I have left (assuming there ARE any left) as I attempt to go back and continue my work.

    I will be honest and say I'm now doubting whether or not the Destinia Saga will ever meet its end, but this story WILL, because it's my best work thus far.

    Anyway, I've been doing some...remodeling to the last scene, so I'm gonna post that up now.

    (By the way, for any Naruto fans out there, I'm still working on my one shot, and I could use beta readers, so PM me if you're interested!)
    Naruto? No, he is not going to be in this story. Matter of fact, as much as I love him, I have no plans of ever putting him in any of my fics connected to the Destinia Saga.
    I don't like him because he's cute, I like him because he is a dork, and a knucklehead, and a moron--just like real people--but he doesn't let that stop him from trying to be the best he can be. And I think that if someone can blend Ratchet and Clank with TT, or Mario/Sonic/Link/whatever I have with TT, people can blend Naruto with TT. But that's my opinion. I like Naruto as a series because it is the classic example of what makes a good anime series. Yes, it has it's stupidity like DBZ, but it has things DBZ will never have, like, say, heart. Anyway, sorry for that little burst there, just a little offended by the Naruto slam in the rules section, I guess. If you're gonna pick on him, pick on everybody too, please.

    ---

    “Come ON!” Beastboy groaned with insipid disgust. “Why SAUSAGE?” He glared at the steaming, hot, juicy cylinders of meat undergoing the process he often referred to as ‘cookification.’ Discouraged by Tenochtitlan’s glowing eyes, he sighed at the expression, her hunger portrayed in a burning yellow.

    “It smells so good…” Tenochtitlan murmured with anticipation, practically drooling over Luigi’s shoulder.

    “Thanks,” the green-garbed chef replied with a grin, probing at them with care. “Just wait ‘til you TASTE ‘em…”

    “I dunno, Bro.,” Mario disagreed in good humor, tipping his cap up as he flipped a pancake with ninja-like skill—it twirled through the air like a ballerina, landing perfectly on the opposite side. “I’m thinkin’ these pancakes are gonna rock the house.”

    “No way!” Cyborg protested, pouring his custom-made mix into a waffling iron. “They’ll be talkin’ about my waffles all day, man!”

    “Oh, really?” Luigi quipped, his voice spiced with doubt.

    “That so?” Mario countered alongside his unusually confident sibling.

    “You bet!” Cyborg jeered, slapping the iron closed. The kitchen was alive with the sizzling of sausages on the frying pan, the fizzling of pancakes on the grittle, and the hissing of waffles being steamed into creation.

    Dairy, dairy, dairy. Beastboy KNEW it. There wouldn’t be a single thing there that was non-dairy. Or, well, meat. What the heck, dude? Did anyone ever take into account his diet? He shrugged it off as he noticed the hungry delight in Tenochtitlan’s demeanor. At least she was happy, scavenger though she was.

    A dull-eyed Link came strolling into the room with methodical movements, his hands nestled in the roomy pockets of his large pants. He didn’t even seem to notice the cook-off going on around him, but it was clear he was here for food, as he headed straight to the fridge—no greetings, no gestures…Very typical.

    Terra, who entered right beside him, beamed with excitement at the prospect of having a full-bodied meal. She grinned at the three Titan chefs, her hands on her hips, and she complimented on each one as she passed them by.

    “Oh, man, those look so good!” she whispered in awe at the fleshy, darkened sausages, much to Luigi’s satisfaction.

    Link slowly opened up the fridge, ignoring the bustling morning sounds around him, and pulled a quart of milk out. He stared at it with dismay for a moment, disgusted at its genre of pasteurized goodness. Skim milk? What the hell? He double-checked the fridge, which was relatively empty. It was a very sad and gloomy fridge, with only a plastic container of week-old potato salad, a few cherry tomatoes, a nearly empty bottle of Dyspepsi Cola, and that half-filled quart of skim milk to keep it company. Oh, wait—there was a full carton of fresh eggs in the back. What a miracle THAT was…

    “I can’t wait to try those out,” Terra told Mario with a giddy smile, her voice a bit distant.

    Link suddenly wondered why the hell all of this cooking was going on when they didn’t seem to have much to eat. Come to think of it, why hadn’t anyone done the grocery shopping in so long? Some superheroes—couldn’t even stay on top of the groceries…

    In the background, Terra said to Cyborg, “Oh, I remember the last time you made THESE…” The fond memories crept into her taste buds, as if her brain willed her to taste them again.

    With an insipid sigh that oozed apathy, Link dragged a glass from a cupboard nearby and tilted the carton of skim a bit, giving himself a glass half empty. With minimal effort, he slipped the carton back into the depressingly empty refrigerator and took a swig of the skim, its slim, tasteless texture scratching his tongue like claws on a chalkboard.

    The room grew slightly quieter when Robin seemed to sneak in, his pace quick and eager. He waved the chefs good morning as he passed quietly by, and headed straight for the fridge. He was in a bigger rush than Link, and just by looking at their polar opposite faces, one could deduce that he was a in a very solemn mood. He retrieved the eggs that had been stored in the back, and made haste to the stove beside Luigi. Luigi had left a couple of the six burners free, and Robin placed a pan on each in a mechanical fashion.

    “Good morning, Robin,” Tenochtitlan greeted, her bright voice slightly shaken by his lack of emotion.

    “Good morning,” he replied, his voice as dry and rough as sandpaper.

    Tenochtitlan grimaced and gave Beastboy a puzzled glance, but the green one gulped and answered her with a shrug. They sat down at the island near the counter where Link stood. As they planted their bottoms onto the red stools, Robin began cracking eggs and letting their contents drip into the teflon pans before him. The sizzling of the room turned up another small notch.

    Terra almost greeted her leader, but decided not to on a gut choice, so she sat beside Beastboy’s right at the island. She leaned over casually, her elbows supporting her.

    “So, uh, you guys sleep well?”

    A few minutes of dismally bland conversation commenced, and soon enough, Luigi began dropping his cooked meat upon plates, serving it up. Link passed the offer with a raised palm, and Luigi sighed the matter off. His loss.

    Just as Link set his glass into the sink—he was amazed he had managed to down it—Mario went around the island, sliding pancakes onto the three plates available. After receiving words of thanks, he set the rest in the middle of the counter for the others. The immense stack he left was a tremendous sight to behold—there had to be a good twenty cakes atop one another, and they were large cakes, to boot.

    Luigi had gone back to his cooking, but Mario had decided to head off for a small morning workout. He bid his fellows ‘farewell,’ and slowly disappeared down the hall, his fingers locked behind his neck, his elbows pointed out over his shoulders like a lazy but anxious kid.

    After a few minutes, Mario entered the weight room, expecting it to be uninhabited. He was surprised, however, when he saw a thin-framed girl on her back doing bench presses. As he approached, he smiled in amusement, watching her struggle to lift the weights up with her skinny arms. Her face was oily, and sweat dripped from her slicked bangs of disheveled pink. In such a position, the fresh scar on her neck was easily noticeable. She grunted and groaned, forcing as much strength into her arms as she could, pushing and pushing upward. Her emerald eyes burned with determination—a determination that was distinctly reminiscent of the night before. When her arms were finally stretched out, she bared the pain, her entire body trembling. With an exasperated gasp, she let the barbells come crashing down onto the supporters above her, landing safely above her chest. With that ‘clang,’ she was done, and moaned out, rubbing her aching arms as she panted from the exertion.

    “Ya let it come down slow—better for your arms.” Mario chuckled at her and shook his head, which received a frustrated growl from below—like a child huffing at her parent.

    Mario took a seat on a bench near the wall to Amy’s right and scooped up a sturdy barbell, working out his biceps as he began his mechanical work. His arm moved like a slow piston—up, down, up, down—and Amy stared for a few moments in silence, almost hypnotized by the steady motion. She shook it off like a cat clinging to her back and slowly raised her body up from the padded bench. A slow, tired movement of her arm shifted over her forehead, collecting sweat and removing it. She shook some drops off of her wrist and took a deep sigh, glaring at Mario with rebellious discomfort. She couldn’t see his eyes, though, as his head was tilted down, and his cap’s brim cast a shadow over his brilliant eyes of blue.

    Up…down…up…down.

    His arm pumped with rhythmic force, and Amy watched the muscles in his arm contract and loosen. That cat was still clinging to her back, its claws stuck in her. Instead of shaking it off this time, she gently removed it.

    “I’m sorry.”

    The words did not spill from her lips with ease like water from a bucket, but were released like molasses from a colander. The tensed arm that had been lifting weights froze for a moment, then slowly unwound, resting the barbell in its owner’s lap. The opposite arm tipped the red cap up slightly, and Mario’s sapphire eyes received Amy’s hard, prickly glare.

    “I should’ve thought things through before I acted like a dumb-****…”

    A nonchalant “heh” slipped into Amy’s ears, and she watched that sly smirk form on his face.

    “But you didn’t think first,” Mario concluded, his head tilting to the side in acknowledgement to his own comment.

    Amy felt her insides bubble up with crude frustration, and she felt like digging her nails into a chalkboard. What the hell? Why the **** did she even bother apologizing in the first place? She shouldn’t have even—

    “You didn’t think because you can’t control your anger, just as you can’t right now.”

    This swift smack in her head paralyzed Amy, releasing her body from its tightened state. Her arms loosened, her clenched fists unwound, and her grit teeth were relieved. Something about those words had grabbed her brain and given it a good throw down. She couldn’t place exactly why, but they had. Mario delivered a bit more prattling, shifting his weight to the other arm and repeating the pumping process with the left.

    “You can’t explain it, but you get pissed off really easily. Inside, you’re angry all the time, at everything, and you don’t know why.”

    The pink-haired girl couldn’t look him straight in the eye as he said these words, averting her gaze to her red boots—they were loose boots of red with a white stripe running down the center. As she admired the white stripe, tapping the boots together with anxious impatience, Mario finished, amused by the reaction. He wasn’t surprised, of course, but amused, nonetheless.

    “Don’t worry too much about it—it’s no shocker, given your condition. But you’ve gotta learn to control it better. If you let that anger out at the right time, you’re golden.” He rolled his eyes as he struggled to look her in the face, but was only able to see slick bangs. “Hey—chin up.”

    Amy’s face jolted up just enough so that her fierce gaze met his icy calm expression.

    “It’s no big, Rose. We’ve all got our problems, ya know.” Mario finished his brief arm exercise and stretched his limbs out over his shoulders. In mid-groan, he added with nonchalance, “Maybe if you stopped looking so pissy all the time, you’d be a step ahead…You’re cute when you’re pissed, but you’re cuter when you’re kind.”

    Stupid ass-wipe. He thinks I’m pissy? Ohhh, I’m show him pissy. I’ll shatter his jaw—

    “It’s all about attitude. If you dwell on your anger, that’ll only make it worse.”

    Amy had been so lost in her own irate mind that she hadn’t noticed how the capped one was now on his back on the floor, feet pinched beneath the bench he had been sitting on. With his arms tucked over his shoulders, he executed a smooth series of sit-ups, continuing the conversation with no thought of it.

    “See, problem is, you have more natural anger in you right now than you’re used to; that’s ok. As long as you can harness it, like I said, it’s all good. So get to work on it, eh?”

    Amy forced back her pouting frown, maintaining a neutral—and very blank—stare. Was he telling her to go through anger management? Psh, whatever. What the hell did HE know, anyway? He acted all high and mighty, like he knew everything about her, but he didn’t know ****. She oughtta kick his ass, and—

    OK. Deep breath…all right. I’m NOT angry. I’m not angry. I can do this. I can DO this. ‘More natural anger?’ What did he mean by that? I mean, I DO feel like I’m more pissed off than I SHOULD be, but…Why is that? Damnit! He knows, doesn’t he? Why isn’t he telling me? Why is he being such an ass about it?

    “Because it’s what you need right now.” That’s what he’d tell her. Wait…isn’t that what he just said? Like, out of the blue, just now? Her piercing eyes of green glared at him, emitting waves of doubt and suspicion.

    Can you read my mind?

    “When I want to…Sort of,” he corrected in a mumble. “Kinda.”

    Why?

    “Wish I knew. Been creepin’ me the hell out lately.”

    Amy paused, her brain stirring the mush of ideas and thoughts around like mashed potatoes. They didn’t turn out too fluffy when she was done—still plenty of chunkiness to it.

    Do you know why we’re here?

    Mario, still as casual as ever, jumped to his feet and carelessly pumped out some jumping jacks. “I do,” he replied to Amy’s pondering, leaving it to dry like a raisin.

    “WHY?” Amy growled out impatiently.

    Mario’s routine sputtered to a halt, a wind up toy whose key was reaching the end of its cycle. When he finally was still, his rough thumb flicked the brim of his cap up an inch, and like a man of the ol’ west, he leaned against the wall behind him, arms thoughtfully crossed over his chest.

    “You really wanna know, huh?” he murmured, his left brow creaking up a couple centimeters. His eyes twinkled with mystery, alluring Amy’s head to nod. She bobbed her head with care, however, almost afraid at what answers may await her.

    The tension in Mario’s smirk sealed it for her, and nagged at her patience all the more, reeling her in. How did he know about all of this? Once she got an answer about the cause of this whole mess, she could finally get down to—

    “Don’t feel like tellin’ you just yet.”

    Amy’s mind was shattered, and shrapnel was careening out in all directions.

    “…Excuse me?” she hissed out, eyes narrowing. Oh, hell no. He wasn’t gonna get off that easy. If he didn’t explain to her what he knew, she was gonna castrate him, and then—

    “See what I mean?” Mario calmly pointed out, tapping his index finger at her forehead while she snarled. “Gotta work on that anger issue. We don’t want another situation like last night, now, do we?” A condescending glance was all Amy needed to calm down. She ran her fingers across the inch-long scar on her neck and was drawn back to that moment the night before.

    “A true warrior fights with his mind, heart, and body—not just his fists or his sword,” Mario muttered with a pensive nod, shoving his hands into his gaping pockets.

    “Yea…” Amy admitted in a forced grumble.

    Damnit! I’m getting showed up by a loony dressed up like a plumber…Then again…maybe I’m the loony…

    Her self-doubt was interrupted by a slap on her back that eased her to her feet.

    “You got two of those three aced,” he commented. “Now you need to work on the third one.” He grinned as he jabbed his finger into her head. She shoved it away, a small smile sliding into her expression.

    “You eaten breakfast yet?”

    “No.”

    “Well you should, ‘cuz you need to make sure the guys know my pancakes are the best.”

    ---

    I know, I know, I've been neglecting my duties as a writer-in-progress, but now that I have more...well, THOUGHT inducing classes this semester, as well as some self-motivation, I'm gonna try to get back into things and see how it goes.

    So if anyone's with me, let me know, for God's sake. :sweat:
    And by the way, I am not going to be taking the episode 'Go!' into account as background story, as I am pretty much ignoring Season 5's existence. :mad: Stupid lack of enthusiasm...Poor developers....You can just tell they ran out of steam after Season 4...

    Lastly, how do I move this to the Titan fiction forum?
    Oh, my bad. It WAS moved. Very good.
    (Heheh. I KNEW it'd get its own section sooner or later! ;) )

    Oh, yea, regarding the whole 'can't stay on top of the groceries' thing--that's actually important, believe it or not. The next scene should make that clear.

    Wow. I still have that Frankie Foster scene from Q4D! in my sig. That's 4w3s0m3. I need to write in that story some more...

    --

    ...

    Pookey got banned? o_O'
     
    #331 Destiny_Smasher, Jan 8, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2006
  12. SilverKnight

    SilverKnight Sigh.

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    Wow, I wouldn't have pegged Mario for an arrogant ass. Guess you learn something new every day.

    I can't say I've had the pleasure of meeting you before, DS. Nor can I say that I've had the chance to catch up on all of this, however, your writing style is fluid and nicely detailed. I'd like to take a moment to say, though, that you might want to watch the language in the story some, or at least properly denote the rating of this story from the get-go. I may not have read the entire story, but I did read the first post.

    Not bad. Keep it up.

    Edit: Oh, and just to let you know, you might want to acquaint yourself with the new rules of this board. Things may be a little...stricter than what you remember from six months ago. :)
     
  13. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    I read the rules.

    Thanks for the tip on rating. I forgot that I didn't rate it accordingly. I'll get to that, because I am NOT taking out language. I put the f-word in there, I want it in there. Not for the sake of swearing, but to express the characters' thoughts and dialogues.

    Mario, arrogant? I'm not sure that's quite the right word. He's the leader, remember. And in that particular scene, he's acting that way on purpose to piss Amy off. Why? Because he wants to Amy to realize just how angry she really is. Amy's anger is very important, so put that to mind. It'll all make sense in a little while, after the main mystery of the story is unraveled.

    Mario acts arrogant in a good-mannered way. At least, that's what I'm going for. He doesn't really think his cooking is that great. He just tries to lighten the mood. After all, we actually saw him ANGRY last night, for the first time in this whole story. And that's because Mario knows his responsibility: to get his allies back to where they're supposed to be.

    Wait...you haven't read all of this, have you...? :sweat: Maybe I'm explaining something that doesn't need to be explained...

    Well, I'll try to have more up when I can, but I've actually been working on what I've already written of this Chapter. I'll start work on the next scene tonight. Can't say when it'll be DONE, but...
     
  14. SilverKnight

    SilverKnight Sigh.

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    Just wanted to make sure. Can't be too careful. :D

    He did a good job of it, then. :)

    Arrogant is still arrogant, no matter the nature of it. :p Never the less, since I was reading an apparently exaggerated version of it, I suppose I shouldn't be so quick to judge.

    Perhaps not. But if it's worth explaining, and since you want me to continue reading, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind, no? ;)

    And since we're on this subject, might I ask who all of these characters are, since they share no relation to the characters I grew up with? I'm certain it was explained somewhere along the way, however, I've back-tracked a few posts and still, no dice. I can't say classic Mario has any real character whatsoever, but whatever that character is doesn't exactly jive with the one you're showing. Link, nuh-uh. Can't say I recognize him, either. Maybe you could bring the newbie up to speed? :D
     
  15. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    Um...-_-'

    Maybe, if you had read from the BEGINNING, things might make a little more sense. Funny how that works out sometimes, right? Not trying to be mean about it, but the writing speaks for itself. I shouldn't have to explain things, because that's what the story itself does. Backtracking a few posts is simply not going to give you the information you need in a 17-page fic. :p

    I mean, geez, I just wrote in a personified version of my inner child as a character, for crying out loud. That post most likely didn't help explain much, now, did it? A lot of the explaining has already been done--I'm focusing on character development for a while, then we have the big exposition, then the conclusion. So, technically, we'll have two climaxes.

    Mario's personality is a little more 'adult-like', but it's more or less my own twist on him.

    Since Link doesn't HAVE a personality as a whole (though he seems to in Twilight Princess, and had some in WW), every version of him in fiction seems to be different. Also, he's incredibly apathetic for a VERY important reason--the same reason that Amy is so angry. I can't say what it is, because it would ruin plot.

    Also, people can act arrogant without actually being arrogant and actually being modest. Might not make any sense, but I've seen it before. It's called being facetious. :p

    Anyway, these characters shouldn't be exactly as you 'remember' them. If you were to read the story, things would make more sense, and by the end of the story, things will make a lot more sense. ;)

    Like I said, this story is connected to a saga with these characters, but you don't need to know the backstory to enjoy, since the backstory that matters is explained later. It stands on its own, but can be enjoyed even more when you understand all the references and what-not.

    And I really need to work on writing some more, but, then again, the only person reading this isn't actually reading it. :sweat: So I don't feel too pressured.
     
  16. SilverKnight

    SilverKnight Sigh.

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    Quite. For the record, I would like to inform you to watch your tone a little when replying to people who respond to your stories. Scaring them off with an attitude might be the reason why you don't get those replies you seem to be pining for. Just a thought.

    I'm...sorry, I have no idea what that means. Was that a response to something I said, or did I completely miss more than I apparently have? I hope I'm not missing much.

    Be that as it may, the point remains that you have these characters acting a certain way because of a huge plot point that you refuse to reveal. Now, while that may work well a lot of the time, holding onto it for too long can lead to reader frustration and cause them to drop the story entirely. Just saying.

    Is that a fact? You might want to work more on that, then. I see you've yet to master it.

    Actually, I don't think so. Facetious means being playful or humorous. I.E. a smart ass such as myself. I even took the liberty of looking up the word here, in case you don't believe me. :)

    I suppose they would, if you wrote it correctly, however that will take me a great deal of time. As you've said, back-tracking a few chapters isn't the same as reading 17 pages of ficcage. I do hope it's worth the effort. :D

    It's a shame you think that you only need to put effort into something when you think you'll receive recognition and accolades for them. Methinks you're missing the point of writing entirely. But hey, what do I know? Don't feel pressured, by all means. :D
     
  17. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    I actually didn't have a true 'tone,' but you interpreted one--still my fault, of course, but I didn't intend to have a rude tone. Also, most other people who reply to this don't skip to page 17 and assume things about the characters. And sorry if I sounded like I had a bad tone. I just wanted you to realize that you haven't read the whole thing, so I don't see why you're asking for an explanation when you haven't read it. That's just kind of odd to me, I guess.

    And I do know what facetious is, by the way. And I think that Mario is very facetious at times. Either way, whether he acts arrogant or not, it doesn't mean he IS.

    I've been writing this story even without hearing from anyone, mind you. I want to finish it. But I don't like writing when it's not being read by anyone.
    When I have readers, it gives me incentive to write more often.

    "Be that as it may, the point remains that you have these characters acting a certain way because of a huge plot point that you refuse to reveal. Now, while that may work well a lot of the time, holding onto it for too long can lead to reader frustration and cause them to drop the story entirely. Just saying."

    Why don't you ask readers whether it's frustrating or not?

    I have read fics where these characters act in wildly different ways, but sinc eyou can't tell me what Mario is 'really' like or what Link is 'really' like, it's more about how it's done rather than what it is, I think.

    This main plot point does not hinder the story at all from people relating to the characters or enjoying the plot. It's more or less something that will be a realization later on that will make you go, "Oh, I get it now!"

    Anyway, instead of contending my writng style and storytelling choices, please read the story, THEN critique it all. Then I can actually pinpoint what you're saying should be changed, because you can connect everything together.

    If you don't want to read it, that's perfectly fine. I just ask that you don't judge the characters or story elements until you've read it.

    And with that, *poof!*
     
  18. SilverKnight

    SilverKnight Sigh.

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    Well that's good to know, at least. Perhaps you should keep an eye on how you word things, regardless. People misinterpreting all over the place. The internet's funny like that.

    I didn't realize having a first impression was a breach of etiquette. I also didn't realize that it was illegal to read what was most recent to see if it was worth going through the effort of 17 pages worth of story. My apologies.

    If you knew what it meant, then you must have known you used it improperly in your explanation, and I can only guess as to why you did that. But that's neither here or there. You're right in that people who act a certain way (in this case arrogant) may not be who they really "are", but in most cases, that is derived from either the person being socially inept or just trying to cover for something they feel they strongly lack. Again, I can only guess as to why that is, but I'm assuming that's also a part of the big, "Oh I get it" moment?

    I can respect that. Never the less, it's a pretty cheap tactic to guilt people into replying because they're not satisfying your need for feedback. We all have to deal with that, a lot more than we'd like. Begging and ransoming for it is a tool for the greedy and desperate, and I personally don't like it one bit.


    Perhaps they've already told you it is by not responding. :p Still, I wasn't explicitly saying that's what's happening in your story, because as we both know, I haven't gotten through it enough yet to make an opinion on that either way. I was merely pointing out that milking the suspense-cow too much can sour the experience. It was a tip, not a slight. But I guess you already know that, hm?

    ...Alright, run that one past me again, because I'm pretty sure I misunderstood that. I can't tell you what the characters are "really" like, so I have to accept how you write them? If that's what you mean, and I'm not entirely sure it is, I'd have to respectfully disagree. I might not be able to tell you who they are, but I can tell you who they aren't. Again, though, I'd have to read more to get a better understanding, because you seem dead-set that my first impressions are incorrect, so I must be missing something.

    Hm. We shall see.

    I don't believe I ever 'contended' your writing style. In fact, I'm pretty sure I commended it. Simply put, the scene/chapter/whatever you wrote, in the context of someone apologizing to someone else and then that someone else purposely baiting them to prove a point, was personally a little off-putting, characterization wise. Also, given that it was Mario and yet was someone wholly different than what I could have ever envisioned was an extra loop thrown over my head. Nothing more, nothing less.
     
  19. Destiny_Smasher

    Destiny_Smasher Epic Fail

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    I do find it amusing (though not surprising) that the past series of posts are more or less us debating with each other over interpretation.

    I'm telling for the third time, Mario may act arrogant, but at heart he isn't.

    And he baited Amy for a very specific purpose--to get her to realize just how riled up she can get in such a short period of time.

    If you want to randomly read the latest post in a long story, be my guest, but I found it offensive that you went out and said, "Boy, I wouldn't have pegged Mario as an arrogant ass!"

    If you were to read the latest parts with Starfire, you'd probably tell me how ridiculous and out-of-character they were, too, but you haven't read all of the events leading to such an event.

    That's like watching the episode where Terra is being a royal brat without watching anything else, and deciding that she's a brat as a general rule. At least, that's where I'm coming from.

    I'm not trying to milk a suspense cow. If, by the time you reach this point in the story, you are left in suspense as to the beginning of this story, then I think you're going down the wrong road. You shouldn't care so much right now how Mario wound up here--he's been here for quite a while, and right now, there atre more pressing issues.
    It's kind of like wondering where mankind originated from when something is threatening our existence, in a way.

    My readers haven't told me anything by not responding. They haven't been responding because I haven't been writing, I would assume. I've been through this process many times now. Whether I'm at a cliffhanger or not, if I don't write, my readers drift off to somewhere else. I have about 7 different incomplete fics floating about, and I eventually hit a snag in them, my readers disappear, as there is nothing to read, and I feel little motivation to continue with most of them, partially because I simply run out of steam with an idea.

    And I'm not trying to force people to reply to get me to write, so please stop telling me how dispicable that is. All I said is that the lack of feedback discourages me. Please don't twist my words or assume. No one has been replying to this for months, and I didn't expect anyone to just because I posted more. But I posted more, just in case someone was still interested in reading it.

    So now, all I have as a 'reader' is someone who has been debating various things without having read the story itself. Yea, that's real motivation for me to continue...:shrug:

    Concerning who you assume a character is...That's your assumption. If you like to believe Link is nothing like he is in this story, that's fine. I certainly don't expect you to take this version of Link as your own. After all, some people write Raven/Beastboy, and some Raven/Cyborg. In a way, they're doing the same thing I am. Anyway, I don't think Link's very much like the way I write him in this story, either. Why, then, am I writing him this way? As I said before, there's a distinct plot point core to his very existence here that holds that in place. I'm not saying it's a wholly reasonable plot point, but, then again, when compared to many other things I've done with this story, it's not unbelievable, either. Teen Titans can be serious and silly at the same time, and so can this fic.

    I'm not saying you have to accept my interpretation of Mario/Link/Sonic/etc. as who that character is in the games. This is NOT a video game, however. I use the basis of the games and twist the characters in ways that makes them more enjoyable to write about. Whenever I read a fic, I go in with an open mind. I have seen a million Marios, Sonics, and Links. Some of them, even though they acted very different from their game counterparts, I liked, and could believe, if they were written in a way that was enjoyable.

    If we want to get to the core, Link should not be talking at all. But he is. And Mario? He should be babbling in a ridiculous Italian accent and sputtering 'wa' and 'yahoo' everytime he friggin' moves. However, I find those elements to be silly and out-of-place in a story that tries to take itself seriously. Besides, Mario and the gang are taking the forms of a teenage humans--if that right there doesn't strike you as a bit out of place already, I'm not sure what will.

    I try to make the Titans themselves feel like their TV counter parts because I find those characters more believeable to begin with, I guess.

    Mario is acting the way he is for a specific reason. So are all of the other oddball characters that don't belong here. That's not to say these characters act radically different in the other stories connected to this one. But, I will say it again, there is a method to the madness.

    And I'd rather not reveal the bloody answer to you just so you will leave me alone about it, unless you aren't going to read this anyway. -_-' I don't mean to be rude, but I feel offended that you have no time to read any of the story itself, but you have time to point out every flaw I make in explaining myself and further grilling me. That's grand, and I should be forced to explain myself, but it just doesn't feel just when you haven't read all of my work but only a sliver of it. Had you read the entire story, not only would you not be misjudging things, you would be able to point out true flaws in it that I can actually look at, like whether I rely on suspense for too long, or what-not.

    I mean, had I watched a random 2 minute chunk of King Kong 20 minutes into it, I would walk away feeling disgusted. But you have to watch the entire thing before you can understand (or not understand, for that matter) why that section of the film was the way it was. (In this case, not understand, I suppose)

    Ya know, this is actually a theme I made pretty obvious in a previous scene with Raven. She keeps judging Robin because Robin has been acting like a jerk, despite the fact she doesn't know what Robin has been through--and neither do my readers, who still make the same judgements.

    Now sure, ideally, Robin shouldn't be a jerk whether he's been through he11 or not, but the point is that it's not up to Raven to decide whether he has the right to or not.

    And, ideally, I could've spent all of this time writing the story itself. But it's hard to continue a story when one is judging your writing (or implying faults in the style and choices of literary devices) and hasn't event read it--at least to me. I mean, even if you HAD read it, judging it would force me to look at it and see what you see, anyway.

    And the points you've made about stylistic things and literary device choices...I can see where you're coming from, and if I were to inspect it all, I'd probably agree with a lot of it. I just feel offended that you're judging these things without reading. I can judge the wacky PS3 controller (looks like a Batarang) all I want, but I really have no right to do so until I've USED it, right?

    I hate being judged, just as most people do. If you know everything about me, THEN you can judge me.

    If you've read this entire story, THEN you can judge it, and what I have done wrong, or right, or what could be improved, etc. etc.

    Now, if you were actually critiquing the last scene as opposed to telling me what an ass Mario is and how out of character he is, your feedback would be treated very differently.

    My best friend hasn't read all of this, but he has been critiquing my recent work on it--however, he critiques the writing style, not what I'm writing about.

    :yawn:

    There's some garbage off my chest. Thanks, I kinda need that.
    Being a freshman in college, decided to be a writing major, but not having any writing courses for the 1st semester and thus not writing very much at all...doesn't help so much.

    And when I finally start getting back into it, I'm getting criticized over what I'm writing about (or so it seems, and if I'm misinterpreting, well, that happens on the internet), not how I'm writing it.

    Whew! Well, sorry if I went overboard or something. :sweat: Don't mean to offend you, but when I get offended, I have a habit of biting back.

    Had you actually read this story (and I;m not telling you if it's worth it or not, as that's up to you) I wouldn't be so offended, because that's the core issue--you HAVEN'T read it, but I feel like I'm being judged. I don't think skipping to page 17 is a way to see if reading the rest is worth it. That just makes no sense to me. To me, a journey isn't about the destination--it's about how you get there. This story isn't about the ending, it's about the journey.

    If you aren't going to read this, then don't. I could understand after all this hub-bub why you wouldn't want to bother. But after having quite a decent number of people tell me that they really like this story, it would be refreshing to have someone who has read it step up and help me improve my own skills by challenging them, I guess. Whether you think I'm making literary mistakes or not, I am passionate about this story, I am writing it for my own purposes, but like any other artist, I would like my work to be examined and appreciated, or least examined.

    If you paint pictures just to let them sit in your own basement and never to be seen or used, well, that's your choice. :zim:

    Now, if you want to tell me about poor word choices, or stylistic flaws, or clunky dialogue, or something to that extent, please, do. I'm all ears, because that's one of the reasons I put my fiction on the net in the first place.

    And I really should go to sleep now, or something...:gir:

    So I'm sorry for exploding, but it did help me feel a little better and get my brain at least doing some sort of work tonight.
     
    #339 Destiny_Smasher, Jan 11, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2006
  20. SilverKnight

    SilverKnight Sigh.

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    >poke<

    Guess you missed the irony in all of this, huh? :D

    >poke<

    Now you sorta know how Amy feels about someone purposely pushing your butons to prove a point.

    >poke poke poke<

    I despammified this thread, DS. I read the reactions that you gave to other people's replies, and to say the least, I was annoyed by what I saw. Immensely. That 'tone' you didn't know you were taking with me, you took with everyone. What I've been trying to do is purposely rile you up to see how easily offended you get at a response you don't seem to favor, in the hopes of maybe getting you think more about what you say before answering. I'm not sure if I've succeeded or not, but eh, you can't win 'em all on the first try.

    I'm not going to argue to your response, because you're pretty much right, and that was generally the entire point I was striving to make, in a subtle, devious way. For what it's worth, I have tried to read this story from the beginning, several times in fact, because aside from everything else I do like your writing style, but I just couldn't get past your comments to other people. You really ought to watch how you word things, especially on the internet, because half of what you say/said makes me want to inflict physical pain upon you. I guess that shouldn't matter, and I'm sure you probably don't care at the heart of it, but unfortunately, it does. From my perspective, you treated the people who took time out of their day to read and respond to your story with a lot less respect and human decency then was warranted, and that bothered me. (Honestly, you're lucky I only found this thread while I was despamming it and not six months ago; I would've had your head on a platter.)

    Believe it or not, nobody's obligated to do jack, and regardless of who that person is, what you think of them, or what they reply with, even if it's just, "Wow, cool story!" they deserve to be treated with a modicum of respect, not, "Oh...well, at least it's a response...:shrug: -_-" or "What, that's it? Um, go into detail, people! Come on!" There's no excuse for those kinds of replies. None. If you can manage enough time in your schedule to reply at all, you can reply with something resembling a reasonable tone. It's a nice gesture.

    Anyway, the point of this is to just watch how you treat the people who read your stories. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't think your Mario is an arrogant ass; he just plays one in fanfic. ;) Kidding, kidding. :p

    Oh yeah, and don't try to be cute and cheat the censors; it's a warnable offense. Consider that an in-thread poke. Thank you.
     

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