1. We are looking for a volunteer to help out with entering the DC and Marvel comics solicitations. If you are interested, please contact Harley.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Just in time for Halloween, enter for a chance to win a $50 Gift Card from FUN.com! Details here.
    Dismiss Notice

Teen Titans Fan Fiction Valor vs. Venom (C)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Faethie, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Back!! =d

    Well, I'm back for now. I wrote a chapter, which I am very disappointed in. This was supposed to be one of the greatest chapters in this story. Turns out, its real weak. I am furious at myself for this. But I can't write anything better. I apologize for the sh*t I call a chapter. And it'll really hurt your eyes. SORRY!!!
    Chapter 25
    Vortex flung herself around in a full 180.
    “How nice to finally meet you, Fae. I’ve dreamed about this for a long time.” Viper grinned in the darkness.
    Without a reply Vortex planted her feet firmly on the ground, and, closing her eyes, spoke three words.
    “Azarath Metrion Zinthos.”
    Energy swirled around Vortex as she opened her glowing eyes. Vortex pulled out her blade, which gleamed in the darkness.
    “I’m afraid that I don’t like death threats very much.” Viper said, and then finished with words Vortex gaped at, powerful, dark words that I will not utter.
    “N-no…how….” Vortex stopped gaping and glared at Viper in awe and hatred.
    “How know you the language of Morgorth?!” Vortex demanded in her own language.
    “Maybe I should explain…” Viper smiled.
    “I won’t give you time!” Vortex screamed and tried to attack Viper, but to no avail. Viper had managed to utter a dark spell, so dark that not even the greatest of sorcerers knew it. It came from the father of evil himself. Morgorth. Even Vortex had no way of escaping the hold on her. Dark magic.
    Vortex spat as she felt her power relax.
    “Why you little…”started Vortex.
    Viper stepped out of the shadows and Vortex forced a laugh.
    Viper was clothed in a dress that crossed slut and goth. She also had a scepter of some sort, with black darkness swarming about it, and a crown that reminded Vortex of Morgorth’s. How did she even have ties with him?!
    “So now you’re the big bad sorceress, aren’t you? Give the games a rest, Evelyn. You got Vix. Why don’t you just kill me already?”
    “Simple, Fae. You have caused me so much more trouble than you should’ve. And to tell you the truth, I’d like a little fun now.
    “Well do me a favor and tell me how in bloody hell you know Morgorth?”
    “That’s your fault. I knew you would topple over the balance of power between myself and Vix. You were from the future. And you also were Valar, and you let Vix know that. When I read her memories in her previous encounter with the advocates I found out about you. So I took a little trip to your own world.
    “Morgorth was obviously the one I was after. I do my homework. He is a god of a fallen angel, and you and I both know that. Equal to only Manwe, the king of the Valar. He fell because of pride, lust for power, longing for supremacy. I took the figure of lust into consideration. Manwe had a queen, did he not? Why not Morgorth? And wasn’t I only too suited for the job.”
    Vortex gaped.
    “Why you horny little *****! That’s just…”
    “Sick? Wrong? No, little girl. Just as wrong as you going around changing the fates of people, as wrong as you having two sets of parents, oh, and by the way, your father…”
    “Don’t you dare start about my father!” Vortex’s eyes glowed, arrogant, furious, and firey despite the hold and effects the spell was having on her.
    “My my, touchy on that subject are we? Well never mind that. Anyhow, I managed to meet Morgorth and seduce him. We are very much alike, he and I. Both seductive. But I had the advantage. If there’s a weakness all men share, it’s lust., and not just for power.
    “After I had seduced him I managed to get him to teach me all he knew. And though I am not Valar, having given birth to a child with him-“
    Again, Vortex interrupted.
    “How the hell old are you anyways?!”
    “I’m 18. Well, that connection led to me being able to produce almost as much dark magic as he.”
    “What happened to that child?!”
    “Again, interrupting.
    “You’ll never know. But anyhow, my task being done, I left Morgorth to be defeated by his enemies. I never loved him anyways. I came back here.”
    “Woman, you are so twisted.” Vortex shook her head in bafflement and seeming pain.
    “Yes, I know. But Fae, dear, now I have enough power to strip you down into the three people you should be-
    “Each of those represents something. Spirit, Soul, Body. You are Spirit in Valar form, Soul in Azarathian form, and Human is your body. You are weak, Vortex. You can’t survive without these parts. And if you lose who you are, then you will be in mortal pain, never mind the pain you’ll be in fighting me.
    “That’s why you will fight me with only your body. No more of your Valar spirit. You will have no Soul. You will be a zombie. You will be only human.”
    “You are really enjoying this, aren’t you.” Vortex managed to mutter behind gritted teeth. A tear flew off her cheek. Viper noticed and grinned.
    “As you know, your human self only has the ability to produce those annoying Vortexes of yours. And your blade without your little Valar powers will be nothing special. Just your average sword.”
    “That is how you must fight me.”
    Vortex felt a pang of something she had never felt. Of despair.
    “NO!” panicked Vortex “That’s not fair! You-you can’t do that to me! I couldn’t-“ Vortex was cut off.
    “You couldn’t survive. Exactamento, my dear. And I, with all of my power, will get to fight you, and enjoy every minute of your separation. And you know as well as I that if you are separated from just one of your parts you will begin to lose yourself.”
    Tears fell down Vortex’s cheeks. She felt fear, despair, pain. For once in her life, there was no hope. There was none. She was lost.
    Viper raised her scepter and in an overdramatic pose she lunged her scepter in the direction of Vortex’s body, and, uttering words of pure malice, divided Vortex into three parts.
    Viper laughed as the visible Vortex fell to the floor. Her body phased, changing forms in flashes of static. The changing eventually ceased, and Vortex weakly raised herself to her feet. Viper took a glance at Vortex. She was pale, worn, her purple hair torn to ragged edges in a messy part, one eye was red and the tear trickling down her cheek was blood. Vor’s blood red lips were leaking blood that dripped off her chin in a predictable movement. Her clothes were torn, white and ragged, covering only her chest. A thick wooden cross, usually hidden, hung freely around her neck. Her pants, now white, were also torn, one high up and one at the bottom of her leg. Vortex’s body in a dramatic moment also revealed huge scars, red, purple, and in between, scars that ranged from tiny slits to a huge cut that was bleeding freely that ran across her shoulder and over her back.

    Vortex drew her sword. It was no longer a powerful ally, but a bent, dull blade that bore the scars of victories that had been seemingly simple.

    Vortex grimaced and set a hard face on. She now knew pain, weakness, despair, fear. She realized what it was like to be mortal.

    “Bloody hell.” She muttered to herself.

  2. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

    Jul 20, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Oh. . .I'm so very happy that this fic is up and running again. . .it's been very-erm-quiet on the boards as of late.:crying: Now please excuse me-WTF! Wow, Viper is one sick, sadistic, little witch and to be honest that's a bit of an understatement. You threw quite a bit at us in this chapter, and it didn't even hint at falling apart, which is an incredible writing feat, so once again you leave me impressed with the amount of plot twists. Especially the cliff hanger; what the hell is Vortex going to do? On that note, by the way, I like how you described her feelings; I really found some sympathy for her at that moment. Anyway, I don't really know what else to say. . .I liked the chapter, and what a way to premiere your fic again.:anime:
  3. The Guitar Slayer

    The Guitar Slayer 1965 to Eternity

    Dec 29, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Well, you warned me it would hurt my eyes, and you were right; some line spacing would help out here. I don't mind the color so much since it is consistent.

    However, that's the only thing that hurts me. Contentwise, I've seen a lot of progression from where you started this series. You definitely have a whole world set up as well as the mythos to go with it. Your dialogue is very well-crafted, and you leave a lot to the imagination visually at times. Your accompanying illustrations are enjoyable, but one of the things I'd work on is "drawing" the picture with words rather than pen and ink -- just one of those writing skills that is handy to develop. :)
  4. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Oct 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Despite the formatting fun, and a distinct lack of description, that chapter was one of the most entertaining things I've ever read. This is for two simple reasons:

    1. Viper is even more of a deliciously twisted little witch than I thought. Getting more power by screwing Satan? Sheer genius.:evil:
    2. Vortex finally gets knocked off her high horse, and in the most brutal way possible. As forbidding as her dilemma may be, I'd say she's had it coming for quite some time.:evil:

    All you need to do now is explain just what in the hell is up with Vortex's backstory, and then I'll be laughing. Though I'm laughing already, but that's just 'cause I'm sick and twisted myself.:evil:

    Great work, and welcome back to the World's Finest!:anime:

    -Matt A-
  5. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Nice to know that y'all realize that. :anime: :p
    Thanks, I am SO glad that it didn't seem as bad as I thought it did when I read it over...
    thats a first. :p
    thanks!! =D
    thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :anime::p :evil:
    I noticed.:p But seriously, dude, how do you think I thought this up? It wasn't just genius, ya know.;) :evil:
  6. Aquagirl15

    Aquagirl15 Heaven's not enough

    Oct 29, 2004
    Likes Received:
    I know something now! Actually I know a lot of things about the story that I didn't expect and I only read two chapters to catch up. (Faith's not the only one who hasn't been around... :sad: )

    Well now that one thing is revealed (who Vix likes) we now have to fathom what the heck is going on with Vortex. I think you put down that last chapter too much since I enjoyed very much. :anime: I really really really really.... really wanna know what happens next, really! (I a little loopy right now... I had chesse cake)
  7. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    I am alive with some more to dish out to y'all.
    Chapter 26
    How much time had passed, Vortex knew not. All she knew was one thing, she only had one goal; to survive.

    But all Vortex had was a broken blade and her vortex powers that served as nothing; she did not have enough energy to create a vortex that would be stable.
    Viper’s dark powers encased her, and she did not know how she could survive.
    “O Elbereth…” muttered Vortex.
    “Sorry, Vortex, you’re all alone now.”
    Yes, because she was-wait.
    Vortex found a weak smile spread across her face.
    “You can’t win.”
    Viper’s laughter spread through the room, echoing amongst the black energy and traps set for Vortex.
    Vortex looked around and jumped, hearing Viper’s scythe activate and fire at her.
    “You can’t win. “
    Out of the darkness sprang Viper and she landed on Vortex, her poisoned nails wrapped tightly around Vortex’s neck.
    “You have hidden something from me, b*tch. You’re a good actor.”
    “Oh I wasn’t acting. I felt everything I felt. But that’s over now. “
    “What are you hiding from me?”
    “You remember my father? So, he’s not the greatest guy in the world, and he’s made a lot of mistakes. One of those mistakes might be considered to be me. But that’s what he wanted you to think.”
    “What, you-you’re good, he’s bad, what is wron-“
    “Confused now, Viper? Look, my mom may be one hell of a good gal, and I decided to stay on her side. But just because I’m good doesn’t mean I’m not a bad girl.
    “You f**ked with my Dad, so you know, I think I deserve to give you one hell of a bloody beating.”
    “What are you-“started Viper.
    “Thank you, Viper, for one of the most humbling experiences in my life.
    “I will return the courtesy.”
    Viper sprang off of Vortex and flipped through the air, dodging many objects that suddenly flew at her. Ice, Starbolts, Fire, Sunrays, Bird-a-Rangs; the works.
    Beast Boy helped Vortex up.
    “Thanks for the time.”
    “Eh, no problem. Can we go kick some ass now?” Vortex stumbled and fell into Beast Boy’s arms weakly.
    “Sorry:” she muttered.
    “You’re kidding me. Vor you’re out of the game right now.” Beast Boy responded
    “For now.
    “Titans and Advocates, begin: V.A.L.O.R.” shouted Vortex hoarsely.
  8. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Oct 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Short, but very interesting. It seems that the plan Vortex set down in the previous few chapters is starting to play out: I'm still not quite sure what this "V.A.L.O.R." project is, but if it involves a battle royale along the way, I'm not complaining. Should be good fun.:anime:

    -Matt A-
  9. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

    Jul 20, 2005
    Likes Received:
    What exactly did Vortex mean when she said it was one of the most humbling experiences of her life? I mean, I can pretty much make some assumptions from the dialogue between her and Viper(which was good by the way)but I have no idea if I'm right or not. Also, you have me interested in what VALOR is. . .I'm definitely liking where this story is going.;)
  10. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

    Feb 6, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Again with the great writing. What is it with you? ...:p I'm loving this even more, so keep up the fantastic work. I did, however, get the impression that this chapter was basically a filler except for the last sentence, which I remain clueless about. Is there going to be a project V.E.N.O.M. as well?:p Hey, that's two stick-tongue-out smilies!;)

    Anyway, glad you're back...
  11. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Okay, bad news and good news. The bad news is...my brother hacked into my stuff on my computer and erased half of my chapters in various stories, including this one. And including the V.A.L.O.R. explanation. So I will have to rack my brains to rewrite it; but the thing was, it wasn't all tht important, simply battle rules and plans from Vortex. So I will try to rewrite it, but it is NOT essential to the story, and as I have really little time to get on here and write I would really rather not rewrite it. Up to you. Anyhow, skipping to the good news...

    Chapter 27

    Rusty and Raven were the first to meet up with Viper. Viper muttered some spell and sent something at the two of them, but Raven blocked it and they charged at Viper, who hissed and called for her Cobrae.
    The Cobrae came and soon the Titans and Advocates were busy with them.

    From somewhere Rayn screamed and Troy came to her rescue, finding Rayn furiously attacking the Cobrae with everything she had got.

    “Miss me, baby?’ Troy grinned, pulling out his saber and dicing a Cobrae with a few well placed thrusts.

    “No, I don’t need you.” Was the cold reply.

    “Then why did you scream?”

    Rayn did not answer but merely hit the Cobrae in front of her with lightning.

    “Look at me!” Troy complained.

    “You wanna get disintegrated, I’d be glad to hit you with lightning!” was the mad reply.

    “Oh, Oh I get it. You wanted Beast Boy to come here. Why didn’t I think of that before.” Troy sliced two Cobrae with his now double-axe.

    “He just wants to get in your pants. I told him off so he wouldn’t hurt you.”

    “Oh shut up you *****ing liar! You’re the one that wants to get in my pants! He’s so much nicer than you’ll ever be! Why can’t you just leave me alone! Go find some other blonde to *****!” screamed Rayn, paralyzing dozens of Cobrae with the heat of the sun bouncing off her blonde hair in fury.

    Troy almost lost his footing as he stumbled backwards.

    “I never…”started Troy.

    “Shut up!”

    Rayn managed to paralyze a couple more Cobrae but found that for some reason, it was hard for her to concentrate.

    Troy disappeared, shrinking down to the size of an ant. That’s how he felt; and he just went around and some unsuspecting Cobrae found themselves getting attacked by who knows what.

    Starfire self appointed herself as Vortex’s guardian.

    ‘Are you sure you are unharmed?”

    “Unharmed? No way, sister. But I’m ok.”

    Vortex paused and smiled at Star.


    “Yes, friend Vortex?”

    “Can you do me a favor?”

    “Anything.” Starfire smiled.

    “Will you let me borrow some of your power?”

    “Borrow? How could you borrow some…”

    “Come here.”

    Naively Starfire stepped forward.

    Vortex put her hands on Starfire’s shoulders and Star collapsed into her arms.

    “Sorry, Star. I really need to get my sh*t back.”

    Rayn found herself no longer alone; Beast Boy had come out of nowhere and they were fighting side by side. Rayn felt happy and unhappy at the same time. She decided she was just tense and took her confusion out on the surrounding enemies.

    Robin, Cyborg, and Rusty fought viciously with Slade and the Cobrae, who had suddenly appeared, but to no avail. There was always some punch in their way they had to block or someone whose back they had to save. Robin threw bird-a-rangs, bombs, and punches at Slade, and still he managed to continue to attack. Why couldn’t they even touch him?

    Cyborg and Rusty made a good team, Cyborg would throw Rusty and Rusty would, in midair, transform into solid lead, and would land on bunches of Cobrae; guts would go flying. Together they put out of commission over fifty at one time.

    Lava and SubZero, together, were also making a huge difference. Ice at one Cobrae and then fire- the Cobrae so shocked they were put out of commission entirely. And something else- SubZero had to battle what Vortex told him and fought with tears in his eyes. He knew who was going to die, and he didn’t know how to tell that person that this was their last chance to-maybe it would be better for him not to tell them. But was that wrong? Because –

    SubZero felt a tear trickle down his cheek and turn to ice. Trying to overcome his misery he slaughtered the Cobrae around him with such fury that he created a wall of ice. Lava turned around and grabbed his arm.

    “What’s wrong?”

    SubZero, looking into her innocent eyes, found himself unable to speak.

    “I love you.”

    SubZero’s arms closed around her in a tight embrace. Lava accepted this but soon pulled herself away from him.

    “Really, what’s bugging you.”

    “I’m just-“


    “Let me kiss you.”

    Before Lava could answer he had pressed his lips to hers and his hand began to travel along her back. Lava accepted this and sunk into his embrace passionately, both of them unaware of their surroundings.

    Meanwhile, Beast Boy and Lava were having quite a bit of fun between flirting and kicking ass. Perhaps too much fun.

    “So you think that I can’t handle these guys by myself?” Beast Boy asked.

    “No, you couldn’t even handle a girl.” Rayn replied mischeviously.

    “Oh, yeah, sure…” started Beast Boy, and finished by lifting Rayn up and twirling her around.

    “That’s not handling.” Rayn laughed as he set her down and she fried a couple Cobrae.

    “Yeah…well…so?” Beast Boy replied after he quickly morphed into a T-Rex and sent a few Cobrae flying.


    Venom had snuck up behind Beast Boy and had his arms wrapped tightly around him. There was nothing either of them could do; Rayn was surrounded by Cobrae and if she was going to use her most powerful power she could end up killing Beast Boy, and Beast Boy, no matter what form he changed into, couldn’t get free from Venom’s grasp.

    Venom pushed Beast Boy’s neck back and Beast Boy struggled to get free; he knew that Venom was going to sink his teeth into him, poisoning him to death, and there was nothing he could do.

    And this time when I say the chapter's sucky, I mean it. Ugh....
  12. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

    Feb 6, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Subzero & Lava foreva!:D

    The you-know-what was perfectly timed, and I give you the kudos for that. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting there to be a... you-know-what. By the way, I'm saying "you-know-what" so as not to spoil anything! So, as a warning to all of you who will review after me, use "you-know-what"!;)

    I liked the slightly-vampiric ending, leaving us on a suspensful note...:anime:

    I love it!
  13. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Oct 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    I'd say I'm starting to understand all this, but that would, quite frankly, be a lie. The only thing I'm certain on is who's going to get capped...though, knowing you, I could easily be wrong. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?;)

    Now onto the chapter itself. Very entertaining all-round, it must be said. The spot-lighting of each Advocate in turn gave us some memorable moments, most notably Rayn and Troy's bust-up and SubZero's unpleasantness: why the sadder moments should be the most interesting, I don't know, but Im' not in the mood to complain. The cool thing here is that, maybe not since the very beginning of the story, you gave us a real showing of the Advocates as a team. In a story, showing true teamwork is difficult, so I give you muchos kudos.:anime:

    Oh, and let's not forget the evil cliffhanger. Even for you, that one is a sod.:eek:

    Good work all-round. Keep it up.;)

    -Matt A-
  14. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:

    You know what, you're an idiot. :p
    really? i thought the plot was laid out by now...

    thank you!!!

    thank you, i enjoyed writing it!
  15. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    One thing i noticed, none of y'all cared about Vortex draining Star's powers...but anyway....new chapter...

    Chapter 28
    Venom’s fangs were at the most two centimeters away from Beast Boy’s neck, and struggle as he might, he couldn’t free himself from Venom’s grasp.

    “This is it.” Beast Boy sighed and closed his eyes tightly.

    Suddenly he found a force push between him and Venom, growing at least to twice his height.

    As Beast Boy tumbled forward he turned around to see Troy. And he saw Venom grab a hold of his arm, and bite with all the strength he had. Troy screamed in pain and with his free hand throw Venom back.

    And Venom-just disappeared.

    Rayn ran to Beast Boy and threw her arms around him.

    “Oh my God, Beast Boy! Are you okay?!” Rayn asked.

    “What’s wrong with you! Troy’s been bitten!” Beast Boy tore himself from Rayn’s grasp as Troy resumed his normal height and fell to the ground, fumbling for his saber.

    “I don’t care. He can die.” Rayn said coldly.

    “Don’t you care that he risked his life to save me? Can you just stop trying to make him jealous already?!”

    Beast Boy asked, shocked, and, without waiting for an answer, ran to Troy.

    “Dude! Are you-“

    Before Beast Boy could finish, Troy thrust his saber toward Beast Boy.

    “Cut it off!”


    “Cut off my arm before the poison gets any farther!” shouted Troy, grimacing in pain.

    “But-“ Beast Boy started. Rayn, holding her chin high, walked over and took the saber, gripping it tightly.

    “I’ll do it.”

    And without another word, Rayn raised the saber and sliced clean through Troy’s arm.

    Viper found herself fighting perhaps her two most deadly foes: Raven and Vortex. Raven was hurling all the sh*t she could find at Viper, and Vortex, well, despite the fact that she still had not regained neither her Valar nor Azarathian form, had been recharged thanks to Starfire, and was, well, kicking ass with vigor.
    Vortex threw her sword through the air and heard it swipe through Viper’s hair. She grinned as she saw inches of hair fall to the floor.

    And, just as she expected, Viper sunk to the ground and ran her hands through the mess of tangled black locks.

    “My beautiful black hair!” screamed Viper, but was soon swept away by a river of energy from Raven.

    “Ew, woman, you have vanity issues.” Vortex laughed as she picked up the black scepter that Viper had dropped.

    “Now if you excuse me-“ started Vortex.

    “No, excuse me!” Viper exclaimed, and sent whips of her power flying, entangling Raven and attacking Vortex. But before she could hit Vortex with everything she’d got, she found herself being assaulted from the back.

    As Viper stumbled forward, she vaguely saw a shining figure moving forward through the darkness.

    “Sorry to interrupt Vortex, but I intend to finish this battle.”

    “Fine by me! I kicked her ass and got her scepter.

    Finish her off, *****!” grinned Vortex, disappearing somewhere to put herself back together, and perhaps do something else….

    And as the fog cleared, Viper saw with amazement a face she thought she’d never see again.

    “Hello again, old friend.”

    And there was Vix. In such power Viper had never seen before, and a grinning Oak standing behind her.

    As SubZero held Lava close, something suddenly broke between them, and when in a flash of vague nothingness, SubZero opened his eyes, Venom was holding a limp Lava in his arms. Venom threw Lava into SubZero’s arms, but as SubZero held her he saw blood trickle down her now pale face.

    “It has passed....” He heard himself whisper.
  16. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

    Feb 6, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Um... did that chapter really need to be that short? Like, are you trying to reach a "chapter 30" or something? Why the shortness?!:sweat: I mean, don't get me wrong, the chapter was great! I loved the dramatic moments of Lava and her being limp.

    The biggest concern I have about this story is that it has seemingly digressed from Teen Titans. True, Beast Boy is still making a pretty important appearance, but doesn't seem to focus on anything else but the characters you created. Again, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this story, but I fear that mod might move it or something, which would definitely upset you.:sad:

    If you are soon to shift the focus back on the Teen Titans, then ignore what I said.;)

    I'll have to see the length of the next chapter to judge whether or not it should have been combined with this one. But other than that, you're still delivering greatness! Booyah!
  17. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Oct 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Very intriguing. It seems I was right about Lava - always a first time, eh?:p - but we'll have to wait and see how pivotal her death will become. Fairly key, I'm assuming, but assuming anything about your works is usually a mistake.;)

    So, it looks like Vix and Oak are about to go double-team on Viper's himey. This, dear friend, I would happily pay to see...but seeing as I'll be getting it free, I don't suppose I need to worry.:p

    On a related note, it was interesting to see Vortex and Raven working together: I'm still confused as to the specifics of their relationship, but I could still kinda get the importance of it. I think.:sweat:

    And is it just me, or do Rayn and Troy have a few unresolved issues?:eek:

    Good work, it must be said. I'm curious to see how you'll resolve all this mayhem.;)

    -Matt A-
  18. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

    Jul 20, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Well. . .two chapters slipped right by me. . .I'm an idiot:sweat: . It seems I can't keep up with everything on the boards anymore. . .

    Chapter 27 Feedback-
    Well, I have to say that things seem to be absolutely going beserk in every single direction and it's so freaking awesome. Of course, Star getting her power taken like that was kind of mean of Vortex, but in the middle of the battle that was going on it seemed rather necessary. Plus, really enjoyed Sub-Zero's emotional moment, knowing who was going to die and he didn't know exactly what to do to tell that person. Very good chapter, and with Beast Boy in that predicament-wow.

    Chapter 28 Feedback-
    Okay. . .so BB makes it out of that situation just barely. Then something sadistic like Venom getting ahold of Troy's arm, and Troy asking BB to cut off the aforementioned arm was awesome. Of course it didn't end there because Rayn seemed all too eager to do the job(which disturbed me). Also, we have Raven and Vortex fighting Viper in a battle that seems really one sided(which by the way, the battle and dialogue went so very nicely together). Topping all this off we have the death of Lava, which was really sad, and then the return of Vix. Jeez, I can't wait for the next chapter because that was intense to say the least.
  19. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

    Jan 25, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Sorry i havent written in so long. Honestly, i dont have time. ANd when i do, the chapters end up....not fun. And actually, I've totally lost what I had for this chapter. So I'm sorry, its not half as good as it should be...............

    Chapter 29

    Zero felt tears fly down his face as he set Lava down on the ground. His powers were unstable, and he knew it-he felt cold, harsh, dangerous. And he took his fury out on the murderer of his beloved.

    Ice flew from SubZero’s body as he attacked Venom, so much that he became covered in it, his blonde spiky hair like icicles and his arms like packed snow.

    He felt so violent that he knew he would kill Venom- and he didn’t give a sh*t.

    That’s why, when he grabbed Venom by the neck and lifted him up, and Venom turned to ice, he didn’t leave him as an ice sculpture. He threw his fists at it until there was only powder left of what had once been one of the most dangerous creatures he had ever dealt with.

    Vix twirled her javelin around and split it in half, leaving her with two sharpened sticks. Viper pulled out her two daggers and attacked Vix viciously. Both girls were surrounded by glowing energy, both filled with one desire:to win.

    Vix had the moves, Viper had the power. Though Viper attacked Viper and thrust forth the daggers with everything she got Vix managed to slip through it. But Viper’s powers were not altogether useless; she would throw every spell at Vix she got, and sometimes it would hit, sometimes it wouldn’t.

    Oak’s efforts were also to no avail. Oak was, honestly, not as strong as he should’ve been- reviving Vix took quite a bit. So he managed to trip Viper once or twice, but that was it.

    That’s when Vortex appeared, uttering a spell I will translate:

    “From the depths thee came, and evil thee are.

    Dangerous thee became and stole from afar-

    Go back to hell and burn ‘till thee are no more-

    But first, I shall strip and tear thee from your inner core!”

    And with that, Vortex spread her hands apart and sent a ball of energy hurling toward Viper. It hit, and its impact was so strong that Viper flew through a crowd of Cobrae and slammed against the wall.

    Vortex grinned.

    “I can’t tell you how good that feels. Finish her off, Vix!”

    And she was gone once more, swimming in her power with a smile on her face.

    Robin lost Slade among the Cobrae and jumped through the throng, determined to finally bring about Slade’s defeat. But that was not Fate’s plan.

    Robin saw Slade pull something out of his belt, place it on the floor, and disappear. Robin reached the place and looked at the device. He immeadiatly shouted across the room to his teammates.

    “Slade set a bomb on the floor! The place is gonna blow! Actually, according to my readings, we’re very close to where Terra-Well, put shortly, soon what we now know as JumpCity is going to be the next Pompeii!”

    Soon all the Titans, Troy, Rayn, Rusty, Oak, Vortex, and SubZero were all with him, thanks to Vortex,
    “I can try to stop it! I mean, it can’t be that hard, I have element powers-“ was what Rayn said.

    “No way, I can try to disable the bomb.” Rusty objected.

    ‘Shut up! There’s two real options here. We can all escape like the villains. Or-“ Vortex stopped.

    “Don’t worry, Vortex, I’ll take care of this.” Replied SubZero, as if he knew what she was going to say.

    “You do realize-“ started Vortex, biting her lip.

    “That’s fine with me.”

    Vix as a fox, jumped on Oak’s shoulder and opened her mouth as if to speak.

    “She says Viper escaped, though majorly weakened. We gotta get out of here.” Oak interpreted.

    Vortex created the portal.

    “Say your good-byes and hurry!”

    Everyone threw a word of good luck to SubZero and jumped through the vortex.

    As Vortex closed the portal she walked over to SubZero.

    “You better get going.” SubZero said gruffly.

    “Oh Patrick!!”

    “Don’t oh Patrick me”

    “I’m so sorry.” Vortex groaned “I wish..”

    “You shouldn’t be, just- get out of here safe.”


    “Lava’s dead, and I-I'm done for" his voice cracked. "My only consolation would be if you get out of here safe. I lost love-the only love I know I will ever have had- and I’m going down too. I can’t have my best friend on my conscience.”

    Vortex threw her arms around SubZero tightly.

    “I’m gonna miss you. You were the only person who I could ever trust and-“ her voice sped up and SubZero looked at her with a slight smile. He lifted her chin.

    “I know. Don’t worry. It’ll be ok. It’s life-People come and go.”

    Vortex let go of him and SubZero was surprised to find tears trickling down her cheek. He wiped them with his hand.

    “Guess you are human after all.” He grinned.

    Vortex couldn’t help but laugh.

    “Get out of here, Fae!”


    “See you around.”

    As Vortex took one last look at SubZero she muttered to herself.

    “No. You won’t.”

    And she was gone.

    SubZero laughed to himself about his situation and braced himself as the bomb went off and hot magma exploded through the floor.

    “Funny, I’ll die saving Jump City from lava…”

    SubZero felt himself flex and ice protrude from his body and then force itself against the heat in what felt like an eternity
    And as SubZero felt his heart melt along with his body, he saw the danger begin to pass, and he saw Lava reach out her hand to him, and he took it. Then there was nothing.

    Chapter 30

    At Titans tower a party was taking place. Between having Rusty as the DJ, Cyborg break dancing, and even Raven having a good time, the place was wild. Funny thing was, the real party animal wasn’t partying. She was moping on the roof. That’s where Vix found her.

    “Vor, why don’t you come and have a good time?”

    “I can’t have a good time! You don’t realize this, but I’ve managed to lose all my friends in one day!”

    “What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I know, SubZero and Lava are gone and we had a ceremony for them yesterday. But seriously, woman, what the hell are you talking about.”

    “I have to erase your memories.”

    “What?! Why…”

    “Now that Raven knows about me something could dramatically change. That’s part of my deal. I’m only worth something if no one knows about me.”

    “But that’s not you! You’ve got to be joking me. You’re supposed to be the destiny smasher!”

    “Yeah, but I’m not supposed to get rid of myself in the process.”

    “Wait, do you mean...”

    “I mean that I was only safe when you didn’t know really all that much about me. So I’ll change your memories. I was never here. As simple as that. You defeated Viper by yourself. She never had the powers she got from my dad. The problem is-she totally messed things up by f***ing him. I mean, a son. Great. So now, I have to go find and kick my half-brothers ass and or kill him because he’s total proof that I exist because the reason Viper f***ed Morgorth was to get those powers so she could beat me! And if that-that thing she called her son goes after his mommy, well, boy am I damned. Holy cr*p am I in deep sh*t!” Vortex ran a hand through her hair.

    “You wanna chill with the cursing?” Vix grinned.

    “Aw shut the f**k up!” Scoffed Vortex.

    “I’m kidding! Girl I know you’re stressed, but don’t you think there’s some way you could-“ Vix asked with more hope in her voice then she knew there was.

    “No, not this time Vix. “

    “Well, come and party anyways. We got some beer…”

    “Ok, works for me.” Vortex grinned

    And she was gone.

    Vix returned to the party and found herself face to face with Oak.

    “So.” She said to him.

    “So.” Was Oak’s mischievous reply.

    ‘How-what-we…” Vix found herself at a loss for words.


    Before Vix could realize what was happening, Oak had planted a kiss on her lips. As they broke apart both grinned.

    “Does that explain everything to you?”


    They moved closer and Oak leaned over to kiss her again but was stopped by a laughing Vortex.

    “Dudes, that’s nasty. Please, take it to a bedroom or something.” Interrupted Vortex, who was sitting on the top of a sofa with a beer in one hand and a mischievous grin on her face.

    ”Oh shut up, kid.” Laughed Oak lightly as he tilted Vix’s head and resumed what they had been doing.

    Vortex rolled her eyes and jumped over the sofa to sit down next to a very unhappy looking Troy.

    “What’s up?”

    “Your face!”

    “Oh God. Is the beer starting to get a hold of you, damn you’d never last in some of the drinking games in Lothlorien, between the fact that the stuff’s a good ten times stronger and the dudes are, like, invincible…”

    “Homesick?” Troy muttered.

    “Far from it.” Smiled Vortex.

    “Whatever.” Was the cold reply.

    “You’re lovesick, aren’t you.”

    “None of your f***ing business.”

    ‘Sure it is. Don’t worry, once I’m gone you’ll be happy.” Vortex said lightly.

    “Don’t worry, I will.”

    Vortex sobered.

    “Fine, you know what, I don’t care, I am leaving forever tomorrow, so, you know what, if you don’t give a sh*t for me…”
    Vortex stood up and started to walk away.

    “Wait, Vor, I’m sorry it’s just..”

    “Yeah, you can’t stand the fact that there’s a slow song on and Rayn and Beast Boy are dancing. You’ve had your eyes on her ass the whole time.” Vortex bit her tongue as she braced herself for a slap from Troy’s one arm, which he dished over as expected.

    “Heh, get over it. She just wants all the attention she can grab.” Vortex finished.

    “You sure?”

    ”No-don’t slap me again or I’ll have to attack you, but that wouldn’t be fair, would it, fighting with a disabled retard??” Vortex grinned as she threw the empty beer bottle into the recycling bin from a distance.

    “Oh, girl, you’re dead now…” Troy marveled as he threw a sofa pillow in her face.

    “Fine, you know what, I don’t care anymore…” replied Vortex as she attacked Troy, tickling him with everything she had.
    Actually, it was a pretty funny sight to watch. There was one, big, black sofa pillow between them and both of them were trying to tickle the other without getting tickled.
    It made Beast Boy laugh as he pointed it out to Rayn.

    “Rayn, why don’t you go talk to him?"

    “Why should I? I’m having fun here and he’s having fun with Vortex.”

    “First of all you’re not having fun here, you are dying for him to come over here and relieve you. And Vortex is only playing with him because he was so bored.”

    “Wow, you’ve matured since our fight with Venom.”

    “I have? Yeah! I mean…nevermind. I think that you should go ask him to dance with you.”

    “He can’t dance. He only has one arm.”

    “It’ll grow back. And why does he only have one arm anyways?”

    “So?” Rayn mumbled weakly.

    Beast Boy looked at Vortex and she looked back at him with a grin. She said a few words to Troy and he walked over to them, Vortex quietly sneaking up behind him. As Rayn and Troy stood uncomfortably looking at each other Beast Boy and Vortex pulled off something they’d planned earlier-pushing them so they’d hit each other, and considering they were the same height, and Troy had his mouth open-

    Beast Boy and Vortex high-fived as the two kissed.

    “Who’s the man?” asked Beast Boy.

    “Um, let me see, nope, only girls around here-I’m kidding! Sweet job, dude!”

    Troy and Rayn broke apart.

    “I-I didn’t mean to kiss you! I don’t like you!” started Rayn hastily.

    ”That’s why you were enjoying that so much.” Vortex rolled her eyes.

    “Well anyways I think you deserved it.” Rayn said, looking Troy in the face.

    “Fine with me, if you think I deserved it.”

    ”I do!”

    Beast Boy and Vortex grinned as the two rambled on, between apologizing and then starting to dance to the song that was playing.



    “You’re not half bad.”

    ”Your face ain’t half bad.” Teased Beast Boy

    “Your momma ain’t half bad!” was Vortex’s reply.



    “Ok, you know what, dance off, right now!” challenged Beast Boy.

    “Bring it on!” was Vortex’s confident retort.

    Heh, so much for Beast Boy maturing. Or Vortex for that matter. But maybe that was just the beer.
    #339 Faethie, Apr 8, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2006
  20. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

    Feb 6, 2005
    Likes Received:
    A white texted chapter? This is huge!:p Not only that, but two chapters in a row... in the same post?! Are you high or something?!!:eek: :eek: :eek: Anyway, all gasps aside, this was quite an intense installation, to say the least. Vortex half-pulled a Mary Sue there and practically saved the frickin universe, but I suppose you meant well!;) It was super cool! I totally loved the (what I believed to be) climax. If that's not the climax, what the heck is?!!:eek:

    Still, there were warm and fuzzies all around towards the end. I just couldn't help but go "aw" for BB and Fay. I'm kidding: Fae. You'll be happy to know that I think you're an excellent author who, despite the coming-up-with-too-many-characters thing, has matured (more or less) into the exceptional person you are today. I think that was represented within Vortex herself. Quite a unique technique, if it was intentional, but I'm sure you were planning this coolness the whole time. Oh, and one more thing...

    "O Patrick!"

    :p :p :p

Share This Page

  • Find Toonzone on Facebook

  • Toonzone News

  • Site Updates

    Upcoming Premieres

  • Toonzone Fan Sites

Tac Anti Spam from Surrey Forum