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The Venture Bros. in: I Scream at Genies

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Planeteer, Feb 12, 2013.

  1. Planeteer

    Planeteer Member

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    (Disclaimer: I don't own The Venture Bros., Cartoon Network does.  Also, this takes place before I knew there'd be a fourth season, so Brock Samson isn't around anymore.  I might remake this as a fourth-season story.)


    All was quiet at the Venture compound when...
    "TRIANA ORPHEUS, FRONT AND CENTER!"
    An unpleasant tingling rippled through the young goth's body as she vanished from her room in a puff of smoke, rematerializing in the study of her father, the powerful necromancer Doctor Byron Orpheus.  The first thing she did upon reappearing was scream and collapse into a fetal position.
    "Pumpkin?" asked Dr. Orpheus.  "What's wrong?"
    "Daddy?" asked Triana, looking up at her father.  Then she got disgusted.  "Jeez, Dad...you know I've had a fear of teleportation ever since that guy zapped me to the Torrid Zone!  I thought I was being kidnapped again!"
    Triana was referring to a supervillain known as Torrid, who had applied for an arch-villainy job against her father's superteam, the Order of the Triad.  Fortunately, the "Torrid Zone" had been a part of the Great Barrier Reef, and the island had been owned by her father.
    "My apologies," said Dr. Orpheus noncommittally, "but you have much to answer for."
    "What'd I do?" she asked, getting up.
    "A short time ago," explained her father, "whilst engaged in my researches, I detected psychic residue throughout the local ether."
    "So...what?" asked Triana, not getting the reference.  "Someone used one of your books as a spank rag?  Why don't you use club soda or lemon juice or something?"
    "You know not of what you speak!" intoned Dr. Orpheus melodramatically.  "For I felt the recent presence of a very mind within my sanctum!  Yea, there were psychic echoes crying out...'Kimberly, Kimberly!'"
    "Kimberly?" asked Triana, recognizing the name.  It belonged to one of her friends.  "Are you saying she stole one of your books or something?"
    "Fortunately, no," said her father simply.  "Apparently, she merely copied something down."  Then he returned to his earlier theatrics.  "But she knows not with what forces she tampers!  For the spell she purloined calls forth entities from beyond known time and space!"
    "I'll talk to her about it," said Triana.
    "All right...but only that once!  Thenceforth, you are never to associate with her again!"
    Triana's jaw dropped.


    Kim's cell phone rang, and she answered it.  "Yeah?" she asked.
    "Kim?" asked Triana.  "It's Triana.  Hey, what the hell are you listening to?"
    "Beautiful Liar by Shakira," Kim said.  "I'm trying to bellydance to it."
    "Really?" asked Triana.
    "You might wanna try it," Kim suggested.  "Might make Dean hot for you."
    "He's already hot for me," Triana admitted.
    "Besides," said Kim, "the whole goth thing's getting kind of old.  You might wanna talk to your dad about getting rid of that gateway to hell, or whatever's in your closet."
    "You mean the Necropolis," corrected Triana.  Then she realized something.  "Hey, you've been sneaking around in our part of the compound, haven't you?"
    "Yeah," said Kim.
    "That means you did copy a page from one of my dad's spellbooks!" Triana exclaimed, angrily.  "Dammit, Kim, Dad grounded me because of you!"
    "How's that my fault?" argued Kim as she paused the music on her CD player.
    "Well, you are one of my friends," Triana retorted, explaining her father's logic.  "And you must've done it the last time I invited you.  Why did you do it, anyway?"
    "Remember when we went on that double date with Hank and Dean, and I decided both that I wanted to be a supervillain, and that they were going to be my arch-nemeses?" Kim asked.  "Well, I went online and found this arch-villain website.  They said I needed a gimmick first.  I mean...you know that guy with the butterfly theme going on, right?"
    "The Monarch?" asked Triana.  "Unfortunately."
    "So I figured I'd try a genie theme," Kim added.
    "A what?" asked Triana, confused.
    "It's easy," explained Kim.  "I found this page on summoning them, and I'm gonna call one and ask him to make me a genie.  Only I'm gonna be the kind that screws up their wishes, you see?"
    Triana paused in disbelief.  Then she said, "Get the **** outa here, Kim," and hung up.


    "Hmm, hung up on me," said Kim.  "Ah, well..."
    She turned the music back on and continued dancing.  When the song was over, she turned off the CD player and went over to a corner of her room where she'd drawn a circle in chalk, and surrounded it with candles.  She could only afford the citronella kind; hopefully it would still work.
    She lit the candles, then picked up a piece of paper she'd laid on a drawer.  "Now, let me see..." she said, reading the mystic symbols inscribed there.  She raised a hand toward the circle and began to chant a few arcane syllables that she hoped she was pronouncing right.  Her hand glowed, and the glow leaped from her hand to the candles.  The magically-empowered flames leaped up, converging in the center of the circle.  The resulting fireball then swelled and grew, taking on a manlike shape.
    "Who summons me from beyond the veil of time and space?" bellowed the genie.  He looked like the one from that Disney cartoon, except it had an evil, piglike face with huge tusks and a tail of fire instead of legs.
    "Me," said Kim.  "And have I got a deal for you..."


    "Hey, Dad!" said Triana, walking to her father.  "I got off the phone with Kim, and..."
    "Silence!" shouted Dr. Orpheus melodramatically.  "I sense a disturbance in the ether!"  (If the last word of that sentence had been "force", Triana might have laughed.)  "I sense that young Kimberly has succeeded in rending space and time asunder, summoning forth a djinn!" he finished.
    "That's what I was gonna tell you," said Triana.  "It's part of her scheme to become a supervillain.  She's after Hank and Dean!"
    "We must warn them!" said Dr. Orpheus.  He wrapped himself and Triana in his cloak and teleported...


    ...And they materialized in Triana's room.  Triana fainted from the shock of teleporting, but not before weakly moaning, "Daaaaaaad..."
    "Oh, yes," said Dr. Orpheus as he recalled Triana's phobia.  "Sorry about that."  Then he turned to Kimberly and shouted, "Unhand that spell!  You know not what you..."
    Then he stared, goggle-eyed at Kimberly and the djinn.  "Oh, ****."
    "Too late, Orpheus," said Kimberly in an evil gloating voice.  "I've already told the djinn what I want, and he agreed to it!"
    "Prepare to be transformed, my willing slave-to-be," said the djinn, raising his arm.  His hand glowed, preparing to fire an eldritch blast.
    "Nay!" shouted Orpheus, firing his own mystic bolt.  It intercepted the one headed for Kimberly.  Unfortunately, this caused it to ricochet around the room in a blur, bouncing off the walls, ceiling and floor.
    Finally, it found a target in the unmoving form of Triana Orpheus.  Her body convulsed as she screamed.  Finally, her body turned into a statue!
    "Oops," said the djinn, looking embarrassed.
    "What have I done?!" exclaimed Orpheus at the sight of his daughter.  Then, "Ow!!" as Kim delivered a stinging slap to the back of his head.  "What was that for?" he demanded to know.
    "You wasted a perfectly good spell," complained Kim.  "And besides, I hate when people say things like 'What have I done?'  It's a stupid question; the answer's always 'You ****ed up!'"
    "Well, at least I'm the one who feels remorse," snapped Dr. Orpheus, folding his arms imperiously.
    The statue exploded into a pile of ash, which rose up in a smoky cloud.  The djinn smiled; at least something was going right!  It pulled a bottle out of its trousers and uncorked it.  The djinn raised his hand, mystically pulling the genie-cloud into its new bottle-home...
    And with a wave of his own hand, Dr. Orpheus pulled the cloud away!  The djinn frowned, and made the gesture again, only to be countermanded by Orpheus again!  The Triana-genie was telekinetically slammed against drawers, bookshelves, the ceiling, the walls...if she'd been solid, it would've hurt!  Even in her  new smoky state, it wasn't comfortable!
    As the djinn wrestled with Orpheus, Kim grabbed his arm.  "Look, forget about her!" she ordered.  "Try with me again!"
    The djinn blinked.  Then he growled, "As you wish."  He raised his arm and fired at Kim again.  This time, there was no stopping her transformation.  She remained solid long enough to give the Orpheuses the finger and blow a razzberry before her  smoke was drawn into the bottle meant for Triana.  The djinn burst into flame and vanished from the circle that bound him.
    The second it did so, Triana's smoke finally solidified and she fell to the floor.  "Ow!" she yelled.  Then she got up and looked at herself.  Her purple-dyed hair had been arranged in a ponytail and she now wore a small round blue hat, a darker blue vest, a light blue silk bra and blue harem pants.
    "Dad?" she asked.  "What happened to my clothes?  And for that matter, why am I suddenly fluent in Arabic, and why do I feel an urge to bellydance?"
     

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