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Teen Titans Fan Fiction The Policeman: A Tale Of Jump City (C)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Matt A, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    That's true. But, the way I see it, that kind of person is as used to pointing guns as they are having guns pointed at them: if they aren't scared by being held hostage, then that's because they know how to fight back and win. 'Course, that's just my opinion, and it's not like I'm an expert on this sort of thing...and more to the point, William very clearly isn't a member of this group, so I'm not sure how relevant it is.;)

    Yeah, I kinda liked it myself. Commenting on the power balances in this situation seems like a very Raven thing to do, not to mention a very cold-blooded thing (which ain't necessarily different).;)

    Well, I think it's fair to say you're onto something. That kind of character arc is fairly crucial (if not central) to Collateral, and whilst I'm taking many liberties with the story here, I need to stay faithful to that if I'm to claim any kind of "remake" status. In other words, it's fairly obvious that William will start fighting back later in the story, but when and how he does this, not to mention what pushes him into this role, are things I intend to keep hidden for the time being. That's all I can say for now.:)

    That's a "yes and no to both" and a "yes and no to neither". At this stage, you can do what you will with that.:p


    Well, that's something. But it's not so much that I'm not able to write, more that I just don't have the time: as of this second, I have just over two weeks in which to write two 2,500-word essays and a 5,000-word short story, and that's only the big stuff. Still, one must do what one can with what one has.:sad:

    -Matt A-
     
  2. DeathscytheVII

    DeathscytheVII Farewell, Daughter of Trigon

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    First off, sorry for my long absence, life has been getting even more frantic, what with summer almost here and all hehe, but at least i catch this little update.

    A very great chapter once again matt, even if no action has happened, we delve deep into the thoughts of William. And your trademark genius dialogue is shining once again, I love how Raven just analyzes the whole situation, if not to provoke a response, but just to show william how much in control she was of the whole thing, but what really makes me love william's character at this moment is his utter calm (sure, he's scared for his children never seeing him again, but thats a different kind of fear), and his usual smugness that resembled the tone of their first conversation. He acknowledges that she at least is in control for now, but he ain't taking it lying down.

    I have a feeling though, that Raven's motives, however un-heroic the means are, must be somewhat good, and we are dealing with an anti-heroine situation here, at least, thats my theory. We've seen a lot of situations like this in the Heroes universe, but who knows, you're the master of shock ;).

    to me Raven's not the type to just kill a cop or a stranger for no good reason, perhaps this is one of those bad cop syndicates hehe. i'll keep my eye out anyways.

    I also wonder where the rest of the team fits into all this.


    Keep it up matt! Great quality work as usual.
     
  3. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    I have to admit, I was beginning to wonder where you'd got to. But I can forgive you: as I've said often enough, I know what it's like to be busy.:sad:

    A few other people have touched on this already, but I think I can say something new here.

    Strictly speaking, I wouldn't say William "ain't taking it lying down". It's an interesting interpretation, and I'm glad you raised the point, but that wasn't entirely what I had in mind. As I said before, the time will come when William will start fighting back, but this is only the initial moments: indeed, this chapter is the first twenty minutes of his hostage crisis. The way I see it, William's varied responses here are his way of "sounding things out", testing how extreme the situation could get. Maybe you could call that a resistance, I suppose.

    Again, this is kinda the same point that Jack raised, so I'll say the same thing to you that I did to him. Well, kinda.

    Raven's motivation for these killings, obvious though this may sound, is a fairly critical part of the plot. Not necessarily for the emotional arc, 'cause that's William's territory, but for the actual story, I'd say it's even the key component. So, I don't wish to say anything about it at this stage, on account of chapter four being a little too early. However, 'cause I can't just say nothing, I suppose I could give you this hint: it's even more complicated than your theory.;)

    For once, this is something I can be upfront about. As I said right at the very beginning of this story, Raven is one of only two pre-existing Teen Titans characters who will feature...and the second isn't another Titan. I mean, Raven's colleagues are a key part of the plot - 'cause, hey, this is a TT fan-fic - but when they get mentioned, it won't be in a particularly obvious way.

    If doubt that's a problem for you, but if it is...well, you'd be better off reading something else.;)

    -Matt A-
     
  4. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    I love stories in which the writer takes an already existing character and makes them do things that they would usually never do. Usually, they perform these actions for a means that serves their usual purpose, such as a hero committing crimes in order to infiltrate some criminal organization, or a villain pretending to turn over a new leaf only to reveal that they are still evil in the end.

    However, the nature of the Raven character is somewhat shady, her being the daughter of a bad-ass demon. Because of this, it becomes hard for the reader to tell if she is killing for the reasons I mentioned in the first paragraph, or because her evil side has finally taken over and enveloped her in a cloak of evil.

    This is really very good, however whenever I think of Raven now, I picture her with Tom Cruise's head because of the Collateral parallel, and that just scares the hell out of me. :eek: In spite of that, however, I'm glad I had the urge to look at my old ToonZone stomping grounds and find an exceptional story to read.


    The Long Lost Rrarbecy ​
     
  5. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    It's nice to hear from you again, DJ. In fact, I'd never really expected you to come back, so this is a double surprise.:D What have you been up to, if I might ask?

    Anyway, as much as I'd like to gas on, this thread is a business thing. To the comments:

    Obviously, 'cause of plot spoilers and whatnot, I can't really say anything about Raven's moral status here. But yes, there is a motive...whether for good or evil.;)

    But that's not entirely what you were getting at. As you're probably well aware, I sure like my moral ambiguities, and actually, one of the things I like about this story is that I get to play around with Raven's character. I've always felt that she'd make a very interesting villain, and whilst that's been addressed in fan-fiction quite regularly (Pun's Preparation springs to mind here), it wasn't something the show itself ever looked at. So, much like my more detailed look at Jump City here, I consider this story to be a way of filling in that blank.

    And besides, it seemed like a cool idea.:D:evil:

    You know, I'd never thought of that. But now you've mentioned it, I can picture it pretty well...and it scares me too.:eek:

    Thanks very much.:p

    I wouldn't have called this "exceptional", but nonetheless, thankyou. It's always nice to be valued.:D

    And like I said before, I'm glad you decided to give into your urges.:p:D

    -Matt A-
     
  6. r/s4ever

    r/s4ever The pizza is MINE!

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    Very interresting...you should definately write more! :cool:
     
  7. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Thank you, r/s. I'm glad you like my story thus far.:D

    And yes, I do intend to write more. The trouble is, of course, that I've been even more insanely busy than usual as of late, and it's been a while since I've even had time to think about writing something. Sadly, I reckon it'll be at least another three weeks before I get any free time, so y'all are gonna have to wait quite a bit longer.

    Sucks, don't it?:sad:

    -Matt A-
     
  8. r/s4ever

    r/s4ever The pizza is MINE!

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  9. Magick

    Magick Neurotic Pixie

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    Hey, Matt! *waves* Remember me? :anime:

    I'm really enjoying this story so far - you've got me hooked, mister! The writing style is very nice, the characters are as human as human can be, and I'm absolutely lurving Raven's role in the whole shebang. Bravo! I'll be waiting with baited breath for the next installment.

    :raven: Magick :raven:
     
  10. TorchLighter

    TorchLighter two sides, same coin

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    Hee's Baaaccckkk!!!

    And So I'm Back! I guess I kinda Lost track of Time out in the 'Real World'. So many things to do... anyway!

    Matt A, its good to see you, and the story is going great. Looking Forward to the Next installment.
     
  11. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Quite.

    Yup, I do indeed. And I must say, it's a pleasure to hear from you again.:D

    I'm flattered. No, really, I am.:D

    In particular, I've always felt that I suck at characterisation: the whole "making them read like real humans" thing is definitely my biggest weakness. But you obviously disagree, and whilst I'm a pretty stubborn guy, I'm not going to contradict you.;):D

    Thankyou very much.:D

    And it's nice to see you too. I know what you mean about the Real World: it tends to suck up your attention, don't it?:sad:

    And on that note, I finally have some good news for y'all. As of yesterday, my second year at university is officially over: so, aside from trying to find a fill-in job, the next three months of summer are pretty much empty. In other words, expect a new chapter within the next few days.:D

    Keeping on the same note, I also have an apology to make. The last month has been brain-fryingly hectic, even by my standards - I know I always say it, but it's true - so I'm truly, humbly sorry for not being around recently. But I promise - promise - that I'll start catching up on everyone else's stuff ASAP. Once I've got Chapter Five done, and maybe a new update for The Bad Seeds as well, I'll do all my reviews. Promise.:D

    -Matt A-
     
  12. paranoidguy103

    paranoidguy103 Getting more paranoid everyday

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    This story is fantastic. The mystery shrouding Raven's motives for these murders has me on the edge of my seat. I can't wait to see how the story develops, and finding out who else Raven is after.

    Paranoidguy103
     
  13. Raven13

    Raven13 Yes please.

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    Gah, I love your stories. I'm glad I caught this one in its beginning stages! I love it! Raven killing people? Wow, thats a different side. Very anxious to read the next chapter!
     
  14. Anima

    Anima Her royal ecentricity, will do

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    lalala, waiting for update... I MISS THIS FIC!! I hope you get less busy soon...
     
  15. paranoidguy103

    paranoidguy103 Getting more paranoid everyday

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    Totally agree. Enough said:cool: .
    Peace,
    Paranoidguy103
     
  16. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Well, I’m glad you all like this story. These days, I write stuff not just because I enjoy it (which I do, though), but also because I enjoy finding out what other people think of it all. I don’t object to criticisms – far from it – but this kind of enthusiasm is far more encouraging. It’s always good to know your audience wants more.

    And on that front, I finally have some good news. You know when I said three weeks ago that I’d have a new chapter ready soon? Well, I kinda lied: it’s taken me longer to get back into the writing groove than I expected.

    But the good news is this: three weeks late, I have a new chapter for you.

    [throws party]

    There’s quite a few reasons why it’s taken me this long to write a new chapter, of which most are just the usual: uni work, writer’s block, etc. However, one fairly key reason is that, having gone four months with no new material, I’d decided to return with not one chapter, but two. But, as I’ve just noted, I’m more out of practise than I thought, and squeezing two whole chapters out of my brain has been...well, like banging my head against a brick wall. So, I’ve abandoned that plan, and seeing as I’ve somehow managed to crank out Chapter Five anyway, I thought I’d save everyone’s patience and offer it up now.

    Yes, because I’m just that nice.;)

    Just this once, I’ll hold the actual chapter intro. Okay, so I don’t say much in these things anyway, but this time, I’ll let you guys dive in by yourselves. Though I will say this: William’s ringtone is this song. You probably won’t recognise the tune, but I bet the title is familiar.;)

    (NB #1: The site I'm using for the file-hosting comes with a few ads best described as "child-unfriendly". If that kind of thing bothers you, then please rest assured that it isn't personal: I'd remove them if I knew how, but I don't, so I can't. Nonetheless, if the mods consider it a problem, then I'll remove the link.)

    (NB #2: The song I've linked to is just shy of ten minutes long. If you don't have a broadband connection - like me - then I wouldn't reccomend trying to play it.)

    Well, that’s all from me. To the chapter, at long bloody last…



    Chapter Five.
    December 24th. 11:07pm.

    The alley was on the left, between two warehouses just after the Asylum. Like alleyways in most other toxic-waste districts, it was pretty appalling, full of dirty puddles, piles of rotting trash and scavenging vermin best left unseen. William didn’t relish the thought of driving his cab through here, but he had his orders.

    He turned the wheel, the car splashing through a large puddle as it entered the alley. He stopped a few hundreds yards inside, where the lights from surrounding buildings, dim though they already were, couldn’t reveal his presence. Considering why he, or rather his “fare”, was here, that was all for the good.

    William turned off the engine, killing both exterior and interior lights. The car was plunged into darkness and silence, both so complete that, to the more impressionable, it would be as if their eyes and ears had stopped working. But despite his steadily simmering panic, he was too familiar with nighttime to let temporary sensory deprivation bother him. He simply had to wait a few minutes for his subconscious to adjust: already, the chattering and low bass of the Asylum were becoming audible again.

    “Thankyou, William. You’re being a great help.” Raven’s monotone, still disembodied in the darkness, sounded a little eerie. William had the brief feeling of listening to a visitation, rather than a real person: something called forth from his nightmares, given flesh only to plague him. But it was only a brief feeling. He’d never been particularly spiritual.

    “I don’t have a choice. You’re holding me hostage, remember?”

    He wasn’t sure where that came from. Probably just a cab driver’s instinct for working a conversation.

    Though he couldn’t yet see it, a movement in his brain told him Raven had just smiled. “And don’t you forget it.” she said.

    William didn’t question the comment. Despite the smile, he knew he was already pushing his luck with the banter. As they had both just agreed, she had a gun, and she wasn’t afraid to use it.

    His nightvision was kicking in already. The cab’s interior was now visible, though his eyes couldn’t pick out the colours: not like it had some, anyway. Bits and pieces of the alley could be seen, out beyond the windows, hints of things obscured in shadows. The metal staircase just up ahead, visible when he arrived, wasn’t exactly clear, but was definitely there again.

    Raven opened the door, her feet making a small splash as she stepped out the cab. To William’s surprise, she didn’t walk away: instead, she got in the front, sitting on the seat next to him.

    “Hands on the wheel, ten-to-two.” she said.

    “Why?”

    “Because I say so.”

    William didn’t question it again. He placed his hands on the steering wheel, each just either side of the top. Raven pulled out two strips of white plastic from her pocket, which she used to tie his wrists to the wheel. He’d been given the plasticuff treatment once before, so he knew full well that he wasn’t getting out of here by his own devices.

    It was perhaps fitting, in a twisted sort of way, that this was when his phone went off. He couldn’t remember the model – an LG something or other – but it was one of those where you could use mp3s as ringtones. He’d spent hours deciding what song to use, eventually going for a bit of Orbital. It wasn’t an obvious ringtone, and it wasn’t exactly him either, but he liked it enough.

    Raven sighed, obviously not welcoming this distraction. “Where’s the phone?”

    “In my trouser pocket. The one closest to you.”

    “Fine.”

    She dug her hand into his jeans pocket, pulling out the phone after a few uncomfortable seconds. The display said “Rachel”.

    “Who is she?” Raven asked.

    “Jordan’s mother.”

    “In that case,” Raven said with a shrug, “you’d better answer.”

    “Why?”

    It wasn’t talking to Rachel that he had an issue with. His gripe was talking to someone whilst a possibly-psychotic killer was sitting next to him.

    “Because if you don’t, she’ll get suspicious. That draws attention to you, and so to us. To me. That’s not good.”

    “Fine.”

    “But remember, you tell her what’s going on, I blow your brains out.”

    William took a deep breath. He’d already taken that comment for granted, but having it spoken out loud gave the situation a whole new urgency. Rachel wasn’t a suspicious person, or at least not these days, but all the same, he’d have to be very, very careful. Up until now, Raven had been giving him a little leeway, but that privilege wasn’t going to last.

    Raven pressed the Answer button, then held the phone up to his ear. For one heart-stopping second, an instant that expanded into the whole of time, he wasn’t sure if he could speak.

    “Hel…hello?”

    “Hello William. It’s me.”

    Rachel’s voice, like her daughter’s, was best described as “cut glass”: every word, every syllable, pronounced with exacting precision. It was a voice that commanded respect, even before you noted what it had to say.

    “I know. I didn’t expect you to call.”

    “I wanted to see how Jordan was getting on. It’s a big night for her.”

    William found the world around him becoming noticeably more real. His nightvision had fully returned, but that didn’t explain how he saw the alley much more clearly, saw just how disgusting it was. There was a garbage dumpster just up ahead, opposite the fire escape, overflowing with rotting bags and their rotting contents. He could just about identify a dead dog amidst the pile, its flesh almost decomposed into soup, not enough substance even for the flies.

    He didn’t want to die here. He didn’t want to die anywhere.

    He noticed how close Raven felt. She was sat calmly in her seat, not leaning over to him or anything, but it was still as if she took up half his seat as well. She didn’t have a scent of anything: her presence was a different thing, that ineffable “proximity” sense.

    “Isn’t it just?” William said, somehow forcing a laugh. He knew it sounded fake. “The last I checked, she was just fine. I dropped her off at the cathedral about an hour ago. She wanted some extra time to practise.”

    “Oh, right.” Rachel paused for a second. “I really wish I could be there.”

    “Me too. But we can’t. Anyway, we’d probably have just put more stress on her.”

    “Yeah, I suppose so.”

    Her disappointment was obvious. William shared it: but then again, how exactly would he change a Christmas Eve shift? All the other drivers had families too. Well, except for Danny, but he was just an ass.

    Besides, he now had other reasons for not attending.

    “Where are you now, then?” Rachel asked. She often did, when she called at these hours.

    Raven gave him a Look, one whose meaning was clear. He’d have to be even more cautious.

    “I’m in Ab- Daley City.”

    For the second time in as many minutes, it felt like his heart had stopped. Raven’s right hand had moved under her jacket, obviously getting a tighter grip on her gun. The knowledge hit him like a truck: one slip of concentration, and he’d nearly died.

    Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. That kind of dead.

    “Lucky you.” Rachel said, drolly.

    Which wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Daley City was to the south-west of Jump, between Docklands and Old Town. It was the newest district of the city, built during the 1970s to, as common knowledge had it, fill the gap between its neighbouring districts. It was actually quite upmarket, if not exactly North Beach, but had all the personality of a daytime talk-show host. That was the advantage of a night shift: William was always asleep when those things were on.

    He noticed how warm he felt. He’d spent 98% of his life in California (the other 2% being childhood holidays in Nova Scotia), so he was usually oblivious to the heat. Not now, though. As his skin warmed, so his plasticuffs started to itch.

    William took a second to bring his brain back under control. “It isn’t that bad. I could be in Turnmills, I suppose.”

    Turnmills was just to the west of here, the next district across. It was, frankly, a hellhole of biblical proportions, even worse than this toxic-waste alleyway. Even William didn’t dare enter the place, lest he get held up and shot within the first minute.

    “Yes, I suppose there’s always that.” Rachel laughed, a surprisingly soft sound. It was one of her best features. “What time is Jordan finishing?”

    “Just before one, I think.”

    “Okay. I’ll call her in a minute, see how she is.”

    “She’d like that.”

    Suddenly, the pile of trash outside moved. A fox dove out of the middle, something bloody hanging from its jaws. William jumped, his thoughts violently halted. The fox ran across the alley, vanishing into a patch of shadow beyond the stairs.

    In the ensuing silence, Raven gently exhaled.

    “Who’s with you?” Rachel asked.

    Raven moved her gun out into view. William’s throat felt drier than the Atacama. He didn’t even know what to say, let alone how.

    “Huh?” He couldn’t think of any words closer resembling the English language.

    “I sounded like something was breathing. A girl.”

    This was the one question William didn’t want to answer. First running on empty, his brain now leapt into hyperdrive.

    “No one’s here. I didn’t hear anything.”

    Rachel didn’t respond right away. William knew she didn’t believe him. As eternity stretched out before him, he was even more certain that he was about to die. Right here, in this miserable little hole, tied to the steering wheel of his own car.

    “I don’t doubt you, William.” she eventually said. “It must’ve been my imagination.”

    Raven slid her gun back in her jacket. William nearly considered following his daughter into religion.

    “Oh yes, and before I forget totally,” Rachel said brightly, “I went for my appointment this morning.”

    Finally, something easy to talk about.

    “Oh, okay.” William said. “How did it go?”

    “Fine. Dr Arzt said I’m all clear.”

    “That’s good.”

    Rachel had caught an ear infection a few months ago. Quite a nasty one, actually. She’d been having check-up every week, to see if it had finally gone down.

    There was a funny story about this, actually. When Rachel first got the infection, she’d gone to her usual doctor, Dr Crick. When it didn’t get better after a month, she went back to find out why: it turned out that the anti-biotics she’d been given were fake, the real ones having been sold on as part of a medication racket Crick had been running. Nine times out of ten, placebos worked, but the one time they didn’t…well, that was why Dr Arzt had been clearing up the mess.

    The punchline was, Dr Crick had always seemed like such a nice guy. It was amazing, what the smell of money could do.

    “Yes, it is.”

    Raven tapped her watch. The meaning was clear: get off the damn phone.

    “Listen, I need to go.” William said. “It’s time for me to get back to work.”

    “Oh, okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

    “See you.”

    “Bye.”

    Rachel hung up. Raven pressed the End button, and tossed the phone on the dashboard.

    “Thank Christ for that.” she said. “My arm was starting to get tired.”

    William’s felt no better. The ‘cuffs were itching even more, and digging in a little too. They weren’t going to get more comfortable.

    He breathed out. ‘Cuffs aside, this minor panic was now over. Now to return to his major panic, the unwanted fare sat next to him.

    “William,” Raven said after a few seconds, “why didn’t you say you loved her?”

    He paused, the question completely derailing him. He knew the answer, but he wasn’t expecting to give it.

    “Huh?”

    “She’s you wife. Or girlfriend. Whatever. Your partner, anyway. When you ring off, you say you love her.”

    “Why? It never means anything. She already knows I love her.”

    “But for all you know, you might never see her again. It would’ve been worth the extra mile. And besides, are you sure she knows?”

    Truth be told, he wasn’t. But his home life was none of Raven’s business. “Yes. There’s always room for hope, anyway.”

    “That’s good to know.” Raven paused for a second. “Anyway, if you get out of this alive, be sure to send her my best wishes.”

    She opened the door, stepping back out into the alley. There was another splash from the puddle beneath her. “But now I have to go kill some more people. Don’t wait up, honey.”
     
  17. paranoidguy103

    paranoidguy103 Getting more paranoid everyday

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    :D Good to have you back on the forums. I misssed this story. Anyway, great chapter. Raven seems to get more homicidal as the story progresses, but its a good twist:evil: . The phone conversation scene was great. I feel sorry fr william though, thats a tough spot to be in. Can't wait to see how the story develops.
    Peace,
    Paranoidguy103
     
  18. Anima

    Anima Her royal ecentricity, will do

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    Huh, you know, it's really strange that Raven, as one of the very most mysterious of the Titans, never made me think she was crazy, and even now, as she is killing people off and holding others hostage she still doesn't seem crazy. More just really really... strange... and mysterious. Just like the Raven we all know and love!
     
  19. Atoragon

    Atoragon *random sound effects*

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    *Does a back flip for joy because of the great, new chapter*
     
  20. Raven13

    Raven13 Yes please.

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    Very nice. I enjoyed this chapter very much. It makes me wonder though if Raven had a bad relationship before this all happened. I think this because of when she asked why William didn't say, "I love you" at the end of the phone call. Just a thought. :D
     

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