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Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Crowgirl, Mar 26, 2005.
Did I mention how much I like this thread?
i can tell this is gonna get good
*suspenseful music plays*
cant wait for the next chapter....
Can it get any better than it already is?
He... she... it? What kind of school do you go to?
A school with a language arts teacher that...
1.) is boring, mean, and impatient.
2.) everyone hates... (except me, but that's just because I'm the suck-up.)
3.)... CAN'T DANCE!!!!
Yes, our teacher can't dance. She's let my class (Chloe's not in my LA class), listen to the radio while we were doing our homework because we were ahead of the rest of the class. Students asked her to dance... you don't know what happens next...
And everyone starts laughing. A LOT!
*runs into thread*
ok...ok, i'm all caught up now, and phewf what a reading session i had Robin coming to BB and CY's door, begging for Starfire, only to have everyone but Raven and B become evaporated, and beast boy at the worst time too
Trigon....ah, always good old daddy giving Raven a hard time. And Raven going back in time before everything happened? that means we get to see all our old friends from the beginning again, yay!
Ooooooh... only a few more days til Halloween! I'ma so excited! Yey! Yay! Yuy! Yiy! Um, yoy? Yu? Si? Wa? Da? Fa? Wa da fa? WTF? Hee hee! Wee! Salee! Konichiweeeee! So not to understeeeee! Where is da Chloeeeeeee?! Do u see what I seeeeeeeee?! *whistles and passes out*
*VG shakes head*
"Gotta luv Halloween."
*CG walks over and laughs*
"Another victim of my Chi-oh-layness! Mwahahahahaha!"
*CG laughs until she passes out*
VG: "What's with all the passing out?"
AM: "There's a gas leek."
*VG and AM shrug... and then pass out*
Oh yeah! Kaitlyn (H)told me about that, I think it's hilarious!!!!
But our L.A. teacher lets me get away with everything (I'm getting a 100 (out of 100) in her class!), and I can literally make her do anything. I do my math homework in that class and she doesn't care! (But she caught my friend doing her homework in that class and they got in trouble! Ha!!) I love that class...
And as for all your responses about how predictable the ending was, that was the biggest worry I had about this story: having it be so predictable that it woldn't do well. Unfortunately, I couldn't really think of a way to have everything be the way its supposed to be, which is how it needs to be for the series to continue. It's kind of corny, I know, but hey, deal.
And to Alpha Man, the year part is now gone, but the date is kind of important for various reasons. (Ex: The date where my next story begins is highly important, and it's close to this) The date stays, despite its annoyance.
You spelled "Kaitlyn" wrong... it's Kaitlin. But it was hilarious. I'll give you that.
Stupid teacher's pet... [mutter mutter grumble grumble]
Quite all right, my dear. I had absolutely no problem with that aformentioned date, it was simply the year that plagued my ambition for recent endeavors. Still, the stating of the actual year, though possibly fictious, is quite not and is slightly redundant because of its implication in the later stated "see you in seven years!" thus hinting at some Kloe-like substance that haunts our very thoughts upon reentry of the tale, that Raven could in fact be not what this all seems! Hmm. Simply put, the need to state it once was well-qualified, even for one such as she who says "Ciao" before each of her signings. Yes.
Elementary, my dear Wilson.
I can't be British, yo. No matter how hard I try.
An interesting penultimate chapter, that. As someone (I can't quite remember who) said, it was actually quite tense, in that "I'm rapidly running out of time and I don't know how to stop it" type way. Impressive stuff, and the finale still looks set to be pretty damn cool.
Oh, and I too saw the time machine thing coming about two or three chapters back...but only because one of my forthcoming fics (I won't say which one, but it is on my poll) will feature a roughly similar trick. I seem to have a habit of doing that.
Mya, I love that movie!!! Corpse Bride is good too, but Jack is so much cooler.
So sorry for the delay y'all, but Halloween was actually busy for me. I went Trick-or-Treating, and got a ton of candy! I was a cowgirl, but I saw some Robins and Starfires in the mix!
Anyways, the last chapter, and I quite like this one. I think you may be surprised at where it starts, but why not find out by reading it yourself? Hmmm?
P.S. Death, I love being at Haunted Houses. The best thing to do is wear all black, stand as still as a statue and point towards the entrance. THen, when people are within three feet of you, jump and scream! (Yes, I do kow this from experience! )
Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "You'd think I'd have stopped walking around."
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Chapter 20- Omega and Alpha
For the split second Raven was soaring through the air, Raven had the utmost feeling of victory and contentment inside of her.
I did it!! I’m going to be free of th-
And then the picture disappeared in front of Raven.
Raven crashed into the wall.
Raven moaned pitifully as her face slid down the wall slowly in contrast to the rest of her body, which had dropped to the floor like solid rock.
Oh… That… wasn’t supposed to happen… Raven moaned inside her head.
“Foolish child!” Trigon roared, an amused tone in his voice now, “Do you really think I shall allow you to escape with a simple trick? D you believe you can stop me with a futile machine? I think not, daughter. Succumb to my will, for you have no choice but to do so! Give in!”
Raven winced as she finally fit the floor, her body slung over the TP. “Nuh... No…”
Stumbling, and shaking terribly, Raven pushed herself up and took a needed breath of air. There must be another way! Raven thought frantically. There has to be! The good guys always win!!!
A sudden burst of pain shot through Raven’s heart, causing her to collapse (luckily, it wasn’t on a ring this time). As tears brimmed her eyes, Trigon mocked her yet again.
“See, daughter, as the spell takes it toll on you. If you stop resisting, it shall be so much easier on both of us.”
Raven stumbled as she stood up with out the help of arms. She couldn’t keep her balance. She was in bad shape, and now she practically had no arms. I should leave this place, Raven thought. I need to lie down…
Raven straightened herself as she started to run towards the door. Realizing she didn’t have the energy to sprint, Raven jogged towards the door and skillfully twisted the handle with her foot. Raven kicked to door open and jogged to the nearest room that she was familiar with: The living room.
When she had gotten there, Raven noticed she was an armless woman. This is not going well… Raven thought as she laid down on the couch.
It was as if she had been shot in the heart, again. Raven contracted into a ball to try and stop the pain.
Please God, help me….
This is hopeless.
Raven’s legs were merely stumps now. Her eyes were shut tightly so she could have the small mercy of not looking at them.
Raven moaned in pain. Every time she moved the slightest bit, Raven’s body exploded with pain.
There’s… There’s gotta be something, Raven thought, I’m a good guy! The good guy always wins! There has to be a way! But I can’t even walk, my legs are pretty much gone! I can’t even walk without pain, let alone move without pain. Where do I go from here! I can’t give up! For Aarde… For Beast Boy…. For Crow… For Jinx… For Everyone!!
When I was a Titan, I never gave up, despite the circumstances. I always had something to fight for, something to fight against. But I had a chance back then! I have no chance now!
Wait a minute…. Is that entirely true?
Another burst of pain, and Raven screamed for mercy.
A few minutes later, Raven had a new way to sing ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes’. Just minus the knees and toes and it described what was left of Raven.
This is bad… I can’t use my powers because they haven’t been ‘tuned’, and it’s not like I can just walk out of here! Must I accept my defeat?
No! There has to be a way!! There must be!
Raven chanced opening her eyes and she saw what was left of her evaporating much faster than it had before. A tear slowly trickled down Raven’s pale and frightened face.
“See, Child,” Trigon roared, much louder than before (He’s close to entering this world, I can feel it…). “What I have been able to accomplish! And it is all thanks to you. I am now ready to enter, and conquer, your world. So farewell, Daughter, and thank you.”
What was left of Raven exploded with pain, and she closed her eyes as she screamed. It didn’t matter now.
This is it, Raven thought, the end. Omega.
Raven closed her eyes for what she knew would be the last time.
And then she opened them.
Raven had opened her eyes quickly, seeing as she hadn’t been very relaxed when she had last closed them. Taking in her surroundings quickly, Raven jolted upright, the sheets around her flying like tied down seagulls. Wha-? What’s going on?
Eyes wide, Raven looked around. Even though she hadn’t been here in a while, the chrome interior and hospital feel told Raven that she was in the infirmary at Titans Tower. Looking down, Raven saw she was in one of the many white hospital beds that resided in the infirmary. She was dressed in her old uniform, the familiar navy leotard and the belt of red jewels slung around her hips. Raven fingered a lock of her hair, it was in the cut that she liked it best, which she had seven years ago.
Then Raven noticed the figure rolling around in the chair from machine to machine, and she knew exactly where she was.
Wha-? I did it? Did I do something? I won?
Raven stared at Crow, who was busily clacking her fingers on the keyboard. “… Stupid spiky haired person. Makes me sit and play nurse when they get the stupid pizza… Not that I mind, but they should definitely have come here straightaway instead of hang out there… So stupid…”
Raven took a deep breath just to make sure she could. At the sound of another person in the room, Crow wheeled around towards Raven. “Rae!” She said excitedly, “You’re alright!”
“Uh… yeah,” Raven replied slowly, “Am I alive?”
Crow laughed, “No! I’m just kidding! Sorry, couldn’t resist.” Crow flashed a smile, and Raven knew what she said was true. “I gotta’ admit,” Crow continued, “I was pretty worried. You haven’t been out for that long, but that goo was pretty hard to get out of your throat. And while it was in there, and for a few minutes after, your brain waves were amazingly high. It was like a mini-drama series was going on in your head or something. You were moaning and everything, and at one point you screamed! You made me jump.”
“Oh…” Raven said sheepishly, “Sorry.”
“S’alright. It’s just you and me right now, the others finished beating up Plasmus and are bringing back some pizza for lunch. You can rest a bit, and I’ll bring your pizza when it comes.”
Raven nodded and flopped down on the bed. So that’s it, it’s finally over. It was all a dream! That sounds kind of pathetic though, ‘cause it all seemed so real! But… I’ve got to wonder, I’ve had visions of the future before, and was…was that the future? Is that how everything’s going to end up?
Well, if it is, I will do everything in my power to stop it! I’ll play peacemaker between everyone if that’s what it takes to keep the Titans from splitting up, and I’ll make sure I’ll-
“Pizza’s here y’all!” Cyborg’s voice broke out over the P.A. system, “Come ‘n’ get it!”
“Well, that’s my cue,” Crow said, pushing herself closer to the door, “I'll get you some slices and bring ‘em up. You really should rest for a bit.”
Crow pushed herself farther along (still on the chair, and having a blast), and was almost out the door. She put her hand on the door, ready to push it open, when she stopped suddenly, an inquisitive look upon her face. “Well, that’s weird…” She murmured.
Raven sat up suddenly. “What?”
Crow looked at her, “Oh it’s nothing really, it’s just… I could have sworn I had decided to let my nails grow, but it appears that I’ve bitten them all off. Don’t remember doing it though, whoops.” Crow chuckled to herself. “Here, I’ll be back in a minute with your pizza.” And with that Crow left, still rolling on the chair.
Raven just sat there, horrified.
Kloe, you never cease to amuse me. That chapter was most enjoyable, especially with all the subtle references that either mean I'm delusional or The Kloe is highly entertaining. "Please God, help me..." Aw yeah baby! Still, I think this was well done, and much better than the other chapters. The ending really had me going there, but you wrote it in such a way that it's open to interpretation.
Oh, by the way, remember when I said...
Eh? How about that! Woo hoo! Well, it wasn't exactly like that, but I was pretty close.
I give props to The Kloe.
Edit: It is a shame that the last chapter was a day late, but I gotta tell ya, it was worth it! Thanks, CG. And... Goodnight everybody!
I can't believe that it was just a dream........
That. Was. Such. An. Awesome. Ending.
Hey, I was right! The time machine was too easy!
Yeah, that was a pretty good ending. I liked the "Am I alive?" "No." What?!" part. And the end. I always like "The End...or is it?" endings.
There were a few sentences that could have been written a little better, but other than that, great job! I can't wait for your next story!
^^What they said .
Wonderful story I loved the ending.
The funny thing is I am trying to stop biting my nails and so far I have been successful.
That was a soooo a Crow coment.
I have to go bye.
You guys liked it? I thought you guys would all think it would be too predictable, but apparently not! (Except for Alpha Man, but he doesn't count. )
My next story, in case you guys are wondering, is going to be an... interesting tale, and won't be up very soon. But it'll be fun watching y'all beg to find out about it!
*jaw slowly falls to the floor*I-I definitely didn't see that one coming. . .Wow. It being a dream just-well it never really crossed my mind. Brilliant writing if I ever saw it, truly. Of course, I'm a sucker for no hope scenarios. . .or at least what looks like to be no hope(especially there at the end. . .I was wondering if it was all going to turn out happy ). Crow kinda stole the show there at the end. . .especially when she said 'I could have sworn I had decided to let my nails grow, but it appears that I’ve bitten them all off', that made me chuckle. Really, you had a great balance of everything in this story, and I absolutely loved the mystery around it all. That last chapter basically showcased how great this fic was on a whole. Can't wait to see more writings from you. Kudos to you.
If you're expecting a repartee, you might be out of luck. I can't really think of anything there to respond to how I don't count. I count plenty! So... uh... yeah. Hey, I never called that ending a bad one! I thought I can the props to the Kloe! Oh! I got it! Or do I?
There are three kinds of people in this world...
...those who can count, and those who can't.