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Teen Titans Fan Fiction Teen Titans: Coda.[J]

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Death58, Jun 7, 2006.

  1. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    I'm back to write on another fan-fiction, a sequel that I actually promised I would write. Unfortunately it's taken me a very, very long time to come up with a plot for it. . .and I've been practicing a little bit of writing on my own to get the tone just right or at least as close as possible. Also, this is the end of the trilogy! Um-to say the least this is the most mental I've ever gotten in any of my fics. If you've read the other two, you know exactly what to expect.
    -NOTE-To understand any part of this, it's almost required to read my other two fan-fictions Teen Titans: Happy Endings and Teen Titans: Remnants.
    "I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling. And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall. Fall on you tongue like pixie dust. Just think happy thoughts and we'll fly home."
    My Chemical Romance, Headfirst for Halos.


    -Teen Titans: Coda.-
    Prologue
    ‘What a beautiful hell.’

    No longer was there a journal to write. . .

    No longer was there a friend there to save her from the fall. . .

    There was nothing, and that in itself is worth volumes to the mind.

    In the middle of the sanitarium, a room number that needs no mention sat a girl alone in the corner of her four walled prison. Indigo strands of hair danced in front of her face as she merely glanced at the walls that seemed to inch in on her every single day. Oddly enough there were no tears, something that her lifestyle could simply not allow. Tears, emotion, anything sort of feeling could lead to massive destruction. It didn’t matter then, though, there were no friends waiting for her outside those four walls; that also meant that there was no reason to even try to escape.

    The girl sat hunched over, knees against her chin, wrapped in a ball. There was no strange rocking because the drug haze took care of any nervous reaction. Her glazed eyes simply stared at the window which allowed a solitary beam of moonlight to appear through, the white light making no contrast against the white walls, bed, ceiling, her clothes, and window panel. Even her abnormally pale skin blended against her surroundings.

    The only thing that made the moonlight any different was that it reached through the cracks of the small crisscrossed wire that rested in the middle of it. There was something alluring about it, a much needed darkness for her to grab onto in her world of white, a color supposedly associated with all that is good. Getting up from the ground is and simply strolling over to the window was something that she wished for more than anything, but even that was not possible. There wasn’t even a recollection of how she wound up setting in the corner of her prison. Of course there was another matter to consider. . .

    I. .am. . .R-Rav. . .Raven. How long could she keep onto that bit of information in the eternal fog which was now her life? It would be five, ten minutes at most.

    Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .I am Raven. . .
     
  2. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Wow.

    I'm tempted to just leave it at that, but seeing as I'm not allowed...well, you weren't kidding when you said this was mental. I mean, you've had Star become a cyborg, Raven die, Star go insane and become evil, Raven come back to life, Star try to kill everyone, Star die (in one of the most beautiful death scenes I've ever read, by the way), and let's not even get started on the emotional stuff, but I don't think any of that has gone as far as you have right here. Not even I have ever been twisted enough to reduce Raven to this decaying shell, having lost so much that even her own name is now slipping away, any attempt at mental or physical activity (even insane stuff) so far beyond her she'll never be getting it back. And considering what this woman has survived in the series so far, all I have to say is this: what the hell happened to her?

    Oh yes, and wow once again. All matters of Hitchcockian-level mentalism aside, that scene was also one of the most stunning pieces of description I've ever seen. The sense of absolute rock-bottom, the sheer haunting power of "this is as bad as it gets, and it's never getting better", was perfectly conveyed, exerting a very powerful grip on the imagination. This is a picture not of insanity, but of absolute, all-consuming emptiness...and there are few things either more beautiful or more frightning than nothing.

    If it sounds like I'm raving, then that's because I am. If the rest of the story is even half as good as this, then this'll still be you at the very peak of your powers. I need say no more than that.

    -Matt A-
     
  3. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Yah, quoting in Matt's style. . .hope you don't mind.
    Um-Thanks. . .You've kind of put a little event time line as to what's happened to the main characters of this series of fics so far, and also thanks for calling Star's death one of the beautiful death scenes you've read. I'm very, very flattered.
    Wow. You're probably one of most twisted, disturbing writers on the board. This is pretty much the ultimate compliment. I'm glad to shock you with Raven's condition.
    It will be answered in Chapter One. Of course I'm giddy for what's happening after that. . .this fic takes a turn that's very, very. . .strange. At least, stranger than what I have done before.
    I'm actually quite speechless after that. .thanks.
    Thanks, again. Coming from the guy that writes the always high quality 'The Bad Seeds', I almost feel like I don't deserve the compliments given here. I shall try my best on this.;)
     
  4. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

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    I'm almost afraid to say anything. One, because Matt's review will blow this one right out of the water. And two, because I haven't read the previous two stories. However, I think you'll appreciate positive feedback no matter who it comes from, so I'll review anyway. Besides, this could present an interesting opportunity for you: there will always be people out there who haven't seen the movies that came before the current one, so it's the job of the author (or director, if we're following the movie analogy) to have it make sense to everybody. Are you up to the challenge?

    Moving right along, I have to say that the prologue was one of the creepiest and most bone-chilling pieces of literature I've read at this forum, rivaling Edgar Allen Poe.;) The total ambiguity of the prologue and the descent of the character into utter nothingness leaves and provokes a small but apparent sense of sympathy for her, especially to those of us who have been depressed. This, however, is the depression to end all depressions. I have a feeling that Raven's lack of feeling will have to affect everyone else at some point.:evil: Hopefully, ambiguity will fade away like Raven's name.:D

    Superb beginning, Death58! I love it!
     
  5. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Thank you! I very much appreciate all the feedback I get, and from the writer of another awesomely written story(Raven:The Nest). As for what you are asking for as far as writing this for everyone. . .I will very much try my best, but this gets very, very convoluted.
    Wow. . .That means that I've done my job with the prologue.:D
    Thanks. . .Raven will eventually effect everyone else, and yes the ambiguity will fade soon enough but. . .I must say that it'll get really, really bad before it gets better. After all, Raven had to hit insanity before reaching this. Thanks for the feedback!
    By the way, this is on short hiatus for I am on vacation. I have half of the first chapter written though, so it should be soon.
     
  6. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Okay, so. Chapter One. Yeah, sorry it took so long. This was actually supposed to be a little longer but-well-I cut it down so it would be much better to read in one sitting. Actually I'm just lazy, and it worked better to end the chapter where I did. So it's another flashback. Enjoy.

    Chapter One
    ‘Crimson in a world of white.’
    -Eight months before-

    It takes him five months after Starfire’s funeral to finally call me. Five months. Raven made her way inside the old apartment building from the blizzard trying to pelt it with snow flakes outside. Her hand quickly pushed open the cheap, plastic door, swinging it open and quickly snapping it shut. The ambient sound from the outside world went mute with the closing of the door. I hope the bastard doesn’t expect hugs and kisses. Wrapping her arms tightly around the edges of her white trench coat, she exhaled in some form of relief and made a dash up the stair case. He probably wants help with one of his cases, something which requires the assistance of a former Teen Titan.

    To her left at the top of the stairs stretched a long hallway, the final room at the end of it being her point of destination. The journey for this would be difficult. Raven’s powers were barely under control again and seeing him would probably bubble up all sorts of emotions. She had to make sure nothing would happen. Damn you.

    When the door came very near, she grew timid, each step forward another wish to go backward. With a slow, calculated like movement, she drew her fist up to the door keeping it only inches from the actual surface of it. After about a minute, she finally tapped on the door. From within the apartment slow, heavy footsteps grew louder only to stop immediately. Two clicks later, the door knob turned to reveal a tall man with long black hair, a muscular but slender figure, and a large metal staff in his left hand.

    Keep it together. “Nightwing.” The word fell from her mouth like a lead balloon.

    “Rachel.” Awkwardly the two stood in the doorway until finally Nightwing simply turned away from Raven, walking back into his living room without a word. He’s still as cocky as always.

    She grabbed the edge of the door, closing it behind her with a strange cracking sound. Her breathing became more difficult as she glanced around at the walls; on them were so many newspaper clippings of unsolved murders, kidnappings, and some exploits on the Teen Titans themselves that it became overwhelming for her to merely stand in the middle of the room. So many memories. . .

    There was a thud, pushing Raven out of her day dream, “I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving Jump City.” No conversation. None. Pleasantries were no longer part of his life. He simply got to the point, which usually jarred everyone that he talked with.

    What? “What?” Is he going to leave me here alone? “W-What are you going to do?” There was a strange cracking sound again. I-I don’t want to be completely alone. “Damn you.” He has to stay, please god. Something began to sound like it was under pressure, a sound that was like a bowing board.

    Already in his full blue and black costume, Nightwing grabbed at the black mask laying on the end table beside his couch. His eyes instantly went white, cold, and lifeless, which really didn’t seem different to Raven at that moment. “I’ve finally traced the leader of-”

    “Damn you!” I should kill him. The door to the apartment began to bend outward, the cracking and creaking increasing in volume. “Y-You’re still chasing after ghosts. . .Slade’s dead Robin, get that through your skull.” It was going to explode soon. “You’re still trying to find another villain like him so you can fill up some sort of emotional hole that’s been there since I’ve met you. Stop thinking about the dead be it Starfire or Slade, or stop thinking about criminals and maybe just think about one of your friends.”

    “I called you, didn’t I?”

    Splintering into thousands of pieces, sending Nightwing behind the couch in a mad rush, Raven’s emotions had finally taken precedence over her powers. “At least let me go with you I-I don’t want to rot here. . .”

    “I’m going alone. . .”

    “Please, I-”

    “I said no. I can’t-Starfire died and she doesn’t get to come back, but you-you. . .uh.”

    The tears began to stream down Raven’s face. One could almost see the final few pieces of the girl shatter into nothingness. Nightwing’s mouth dropped for a second, trying to form the right words. A tremor went through Raven’s body, and she simply turned to the broken door, stepping over the wood chunks and past the tenants who were brave enough to see what carnage was ensuing right outside their doors. Nightwing stood in the middle of the apartment just staring at the door way.

    Is that truly how goodbyes work?
    * * * *
    There is absolutely nothing in the entire world that can prepare you for those final moments of your life. The tick-tock of some fated clock of sorts is hard to comprehend when you actually take a moment to think of what will happen when that clock stops. What will become of you? Where will you go?

    If you want to go one deeper, think about what would happen if you tried to stop that clock by ending your own life. Faint moments before an act like that, though, one does not allow thoughts such as these to creep in their heads. Freedom is the only thing in a person’s mind when they are about to commit suicide. . .absolute freedom.

    The snow still seemed to beam down in harsh chunks upon the inhabitants of Jump City when Raven pushed open the door to the outside world, her hands shaking so much that even turning the door handle was difficult. She glanced around radically, merely turning toward the intersection, cars speeding by her, blowing her coat into the air.

    She walked to the edge of the street corner. A nervous foot came off of the sidewalk, and she took her first step into freedom.

    The chrome bumper managed to smash straight into the girl’s face, her left eye basically losing all vision almost instantly; blood sprayed onto the cement like a small geyser, coinciding with nauseating cracking sounds escaping from many places on her petite body. After a screech of tires, the event was over. A crumpled heap of a being laid in front of the blinding head lights of the car. Oddly, the snow seemed to slow down to an almost serene pace.

    I don’t care what happens next. . .

    But don’t save me. . .

    Please. . .

    Voices seemed to echo all around her from seemingly no where in her dark little corner of the world.

    “Oh my god!”

    “Did you see that? She jumped right in front of that car!”

    “I recognize her from-”

    “Why would someone-”

    “Is this, like, for a movie?”

    Raven’s eyes opened up in a spasm as she lay on the ground, rapidly moving around from place to place. Her chest jerked up and down as her body tried to get air with failing results. Faces seemed to blur in and out of view of her remaining eye, the voices from each face talking as though the world had been flipped to slow motion. Copper. After a gurgling sound, blood sprayed out of her mouth in a coughing fit.

    “I’m calling an ambulance. . .” Someone had said it. A man. If she could have concentrated, she would have broken every bone in his body to stop him from calling.

    The crowd of people around her glanced down upon her with a wince of pain in their eyes. Her white trench coat looked like it had been through a crimson rain storm, snow white contrasting with the dark red in a beautiful picture of a gothic goddess finally gaining her own piece of heaven. Every minute that the ambulance delayed was another minute that her invisible chains broke off a little more, one by one.

    Finally. . .

    Those final moments seemed to torturously extend on, gasping, spasming, and the once burning pains turning into dull sensation that became difficult to feel. In fact, it was becoming difficult to feel anything.

    “Hold on!” That man seemed to think he was doing something heroic. A mere civilian was trying to save her, a person that was at one time was known as a Teen Titan.

    A Teen Titan. Images of a cybernetic Starfire stepping out from the living room in Titans Tower immediately filled her head, along with the events occurring after it. . .Her own death at the hands of Terra, and the unwanted resurrection. . .A wheel chair bound Terra. . .One rainy night when Starfire’s life was extinguished, that one rainy night when her life had spiraled down to this, a lonely girl broken and bloody in the middle of a street.

    I just have to stay awake long enough.

    Sirens cut through her already flimsy thoughts.

    Why?

    The snow around her was melting in a crimson mess.
     
  7. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Though I've already said it at great length, I thought the prologue was brilliant. In fact, I thought it was so brilliant I was sure nothing could top it.

    Naturally, I was wrong.

    How good was that chapter? I can't even find words to describe it, that's how good it is. Your powers of description are as spot-on as ever, the decay and emptiness and blood and snow all mashing together into a truly haunting scene. More so than the prologue, this is where we can truly understand just how wretched Raven really is, a supposedly dark and mysterious girl who's so afraid of being alone that she'd rather die than lose all human contact. It's somewhat fitting that a girl who's been through so much pain should try to end her life in such a simple way, and it's even more fitting that she is instead doomed to the fate we saw in the prologue. Like Starfire dying in the rain in Remnants, having Raven's final mental collapse happen amidst the white snow (an image of fun and innocence if ever there was one) just made it all the more beautiful.

    So that's how good it is. And the only way from here is up, I think.

    -Matt A-
     
  8. DeathscytheVII

    DeathscytheVII Farewell, Daughter of Trigon

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    Holy crap death, i shivered when I read Raven's attempted suicide. You had very beautiful and vivid imagery, the crimson on white snow as your title is called ;) but at the same time, very spine chilling. You seem to have a great grasp of psychology, reading that last update really gave the reader an idea of what a person's mind goes through when they contemplate and attempt suicide.

    Damnit, I'm starting to despise this nightwing, not only because he was too gutless to help Starfire when she needed it inside Arkham, but also because he's abandoning Raven in her hour of need. What a Clorbag :mad:

    Anyways, Death, keep this up! I can't wait to see where this goes!
     
  9. Rever76

    Rever76 It'll be done when I do it

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    *!?*

    Once again Death58, you prove that words are insufficient to describe this darkand brutal portrayl you have of the Titans.
    I've got half a mind to hold up the DC executive board and make them give your own universe of their comic lines, like Marvel's Ultimate universe, except yours would be with this dark and grungy feel you have.

    I have to say though, your B******D putting them through more and more emotional and physical torture.

    You've portrayed Raven as a skitzophrenic-psychic
    Nightwing as an almost two-faced hero, fighting the good fight in public, but a Clorbag in person!

    KEEP THIS UP!!
     
  10. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Thank you once again Matt. . .I feel undeserving of praise like that. Yes, Raven is truly disturbed and I figured after everything that she's been through, this seemed like the only logical next step. . .the next chapter is going to be a bit shocking, though. It kind of contrasts this one a lot, but it'll all make sense in the long run. I just hope I continue to make you happy with this. Having Raven's fall happen in snow is something that's going to be really recurring in this story, so pay attention to the color white. It's not a good color(and recently I found out that it's actually tied with death by tribes, monks, ect).
    I tried to give the subject of suicide the utmost respect, but I also wanted to show just how horrible something like that is. That's a relief to know that the psychology of it was handled okay. . .Yes, hate Nightwing. I'm going to play him almost as a semi-villain in this. I want my readers to absolutely hate him by the end of this fic. Thank you very much Deathscythe!
    I would love to have my own universe of DC to screw around in, actually. Any sort of recommendation I can get would be happy with me. To be honest, I've always wanted to write a comic book. . .maybe I'll succeed with those aspirations later on in life. Believe me, I know I'm a b*****d for the stuff I've done in these fics. . .and I'm still not done. What I have planned for this one is pretty. . .messed up to say the least, even in accordance to what I've done in the past. And once again, I want you to hate Nightwing! Thanks Rever!

    By the way, yes my new avatar reflects this story. . .
     
  11. dimmy52

    dimmy52 Orsati Assassin

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    Un...believable...

    This is, quite simply, the most brutal, most shocking piece of writing I have ever read, and because of that I cannot stop reading. The description, the vivid imagery is simply perfect, bar a few, extremely minor punctuation errors, probably from over eagerness in posting it ;)

    For the love of all things holy, KEEP WRITING!

    Cheers, Dimster, Delta Member One.
     
  12. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    One year later. No dear reader, this isn’t the start to my next chapter, that’s a little bit below this. As of July 20th, I’ve been here for a year. Wow, what a trip it’s been. I never thought that one website could be so addicting, but the WFWC proved me wrong. I would go into dramatics as to the hows and whys of me joining this place, but no. It doesn’t seem necessary. Make your own assumptions with my screen name and writing style, I’m dramatic enough in my fics.

    The point is that I like to write, something that I never really did much prior to Teen Titans: Happy Endings. I mean I did write, just not a lot. More than all that though, the WFWC was a place that basically greeted a newbie like me with open arms. All the users here seemed so kind and eager to help me, as well as encouraging me to write more. I had never seen a place online with that much of a family type atmosphere.

    So here is my celebration of sorts, and a sad announcement that this is my final fan-fiction I’m going to write here. I’m out of ideas after this fic and I feel as though that’s okay now to go away. Besides, how many times can I write about totally mind f**ked girls in asylums until it gets boring?

    I’m still here for the moment, though, so let’s forget about that. Maybe once I’ll be working toward a happy ending. . .yeah, even I didn’t buy that. Thank you all who inspired me, encourage me, and just basically used to have random conversations with me. Really, I’m just shocked. One year later.

    PS: To answer your question, in real life, I really don't look like the guy standing next to Raven in this picture.
    Thank you so much. Yes, I always get so excited to release a new chapter that I forget to edit really well. I'm so very happy that this is shocking and brutal. It's not quite over yet.

    And yes, I will follow your orders and continue writing Dimmy.

    Wow. A month since a chapter was released, and not nearly worth the wait.

    Yeah, this isn't over by a long shot. I'm really sorry it took so long, but I'm kind of dealing with something at the moment. Whatever though. This is it, and the ending may or may not suprise you. I don't like my descriptions in this chapter as much as the other two. . .

    Chapter Two
    ‘Save the public, screw the individual.’
    -Eight months before-

    “I-I need back up. . .oh god. . .please. . .” The man was only hospital security, being paid rates that were absolutely insulting, and it had finally come down to a life or death situation which he was completely unprepared for. Sure, he had fired a couple shots, the perpetrator had fallen and everything was okay. . .until they had gotten up again. There were a couple more shots as he ran down the hallway, darting into a storage closet. He silently prayed for any kind of miracle in the intense darkness of the small room.

    He edged his hand along one of the shelves, trying to find something that might somewhat fortify his position in the little room. With a scream escaping from the outside of the room, he stopped, holding his pistol toward the door. It didn’t take long for the metal door to bulge open, a horrible screeching sound as the bubble in the middle of it grew larger. The guard silently prayed as the screws in the hinges flew out like bullets straight into the ceiling, with the entire door exploding open onto the floor.

    What looked like black electricity began to arc around the inside of the door frame, followed by a figure totally drenched in a black aura. He held up the gun one last time, replying to the creature with a few more rounds. It was to no avail. Each shot marked off another chance of getting out of there right up until the final one. One more press of the trigger released the last bullet, the casing falling to the floor with an almost deafening sound. In a panic, the man pressed the trigger again for a resounding click.

    He dropped the gun to the floor, “N-No. . .”

    The one eye of this black energy creature simply stared at him, nothing but silence filling the small supply room. A box flew in front of the figure, opening up to reveal four medical scalpels. They floated out one by one, all pointing at the guard as they reached their position in the air. The box dropped, and the scalpels flew forward. There was an agonizing scream and then silence.

    All four scalpels stuck out of the guard’s throat in a nice little row. After a couple of gasps, his body fell to the floor, a wet sound escaping from him as the scalpels were pushed further into his neck, not to mention the growing puddle of blood on the floor.

    It slowly glanced up from the carnage that lay on the ground, concentrating on the blood sprayed wall. Black energy began to form in a circle around the middle of the wall. A high pitched sound echoed through the little room, followed by little cracking sounds.

    The wall shattered into so many fragments that it was almost as if it were made out of wood. Two hands grabbed around the edges of the gaping hole, smoke rolling away into the night air. Through the smoke fog, though, a glowing white eye still managed to make itself visible. With a blurred motion, the black figure flew out of the smoking hole in the hospital, flying to the top in mere seconds. It landed on the roof, both feet causing a small explosion of white powder to spray into the air.

    Breathing heavily, the being merely stared out over the massive skyline of Jump City.
    * * * *
    I should have known. By the time Nightwing had gotten to the hospital, the police already had the parking lot swarmed with dozens of squad cars, even more sirens echoing in the distance. He stared down at the lot, surveying the area from the top of a nameless business building. At the top of a building, the snow flakes seemed to pierce one’s skin as they drifted on any part exposed to the outside world. Within moment, his inner monologue of what he assumed was happening ended and a grappling hook had been produced in his hand.

    With the press of a small cyan button on the side of it, there was a loud sound like a gun, as well as what could be mistaken as a muzzle flash. The thick, long wire extended over to the hospital, right above the gaping, smoke filled hole in the side of the building. It was best to try and get into the building with as little attention drawn to himself as possible. In a swift movement, he tied one end of the grapple to an old air conditioning unit beside of him then produced a bird-a-rang which he quickly pulled over the top of the large, black wire.

    This should be fun.

    Nightwing took a step onto the edge of the building, staring over in a moment of hesitation, vertigo starting to creep around the edges of his being. He jumped, allowing himself to slide down the grapple with the bird-a-rang, each snow flake now smashing into his face like a storm of needles. When he reached the smoking hole, he let go of the bird-a-rang, plowing right through the smoke and into a dark room. As soon as his feet hit the ground, the ground went out from under him in a messy slip.

    Back to the ground, his eyes quickly adjusted to the body lying next to him, and the fact that he was laying in the essence of another human being. Even after the years of terrible things he had seen, it was still foreign when you came close to carnage like this. In seconds he was on his feet again, darting out the door, and through the hallway of the hospital.

    Blood lined the floors and the bottom of the white walls so much in this section of the hall that it looked like someone had painted with crimson paint. Bodies lay in mutilated fragments, looks of fear splashing across each frozen, splattered face. One man was slowing his pace, life draining out of him as he tried to place his intestines back in his body. Nightwing simply glanced at him for a second then continued to the stairway.

    He opened the door cautiously, listening for footsteps. Near the top of the stairwell were almost inaudible footsteps echoing.

    I should have known they’d send a SWAT team in. . .

    Reaching down to his belt, he grabbed out one small, metallic ball. They have no idea what they’re dealing with. There was a moment or two where he paused at the missing grapple hook, somewhat angry that he had already used it. He would have to dart up the stairs and somehow still manage to-

    An explosion erupted from the door to the roof, managing to destroy any plan that Nightwing had. It was time to rush into another situation blindly and try to figure out some way to make it all work out in the end once he got there.

    Each step he ran still managed to be cautious and careful, an appearance which he had seemingly perfected over the years. It had taken mere moments to get to the top of the stairs, four unconscious, possibly dead people laying on the stairs, hanging over the railing, or slumping against the wall. He darted out into the flowing storm of snow, whirling his staff. Through the perfect canvas of snow flakes, a creature seemingly made of black energy stared at him with one piercing, white eye. Nightwing walked toward the creature, the energy around it dying down as it simply stared in his two white, lifeless eyes.
    * * * *
    There was a car. . .

    A-An explosion. . .

    There was just an explosion.

    Oh my. . .god. . .Oh my god.

    She opened up one eye, one of them wrapped in a bandage making visibility completely gone. Raven was laying in about five inches of snow, the wet cold from it sending a chill throughout her entire body. She sat up weakly, glancing around in confusion. There was a moment of horror when she glanced down at the hospital gown she was wearing; it was drenched in blood. In fact, she was drenched in blood, droplets falling off her hair and gown like she had taken a bath in it.

    Raven felt herself become lightheaded, throwing up instantly in a fright. With a glance upward, she found herself in a locked stare with Nightwing.

    “W-What. . .What’s happened. . .” Tears ate around the bottoms of her eyes, shining even in the dark, snow drenched night.

    Nightwing simply pulled back his trademark silver bo-staff.

    The last thing Raven saw was the end of the bo-staff smashing into her face.
     
    #12 Death58, Jul 22, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2006
  13. SecretNinja

    SecretNinja Robin's missing his pants.

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    Holy crap, i love your writing and your view point on things, and the way you put things into perspective. Gah! Your amazing. I cant even put it into words... i think this sums it up: alkhdsjlashdhadlandlfl,kskd.fnnsbf455s##$fsnaskfa

    Good, now that we got that sorted out.

    -S-N-

    PS: Did i tell you i love you?:p
     
  14. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Not for the first time, I have absolutely no idea what to say. That...well, that was pretty damn genius. Perhaps not as genius as the first two chapters, but that merely classes it as an A rather than an A*.

    Anyway, to the specifics. Though we could see it before, it's clear now that Nightwing is one cold-blooded bastard: Starfire's downfall must have hit him even harder than I thought. Even with someone like him, I would've expected a more supportive treatment of an obviously confused and traumatised Raven, but what he did instead was one of the most brilliantly surprising moments I've ever seen. Clubbing her in the face was a move that was just so...him, I think. And all the more so considering his reason: after all, whilst she wasn't aware of it, Raven did massacre half a hospital ward. To your eternal credit, you didn't let us forget just how much of a threat she can really be, thus making Nightwing's cold-hearted actions throughout the entire chapter disturbingly justifiable. Disturbing, it seems is what you do best.

    [tips virtual cap]

    More, please.:anime:

    -Matt A-

    PS: If you're looking for story ideas, I've got a few I can provide.;)
    PPS: Was the picture a rhetorical statement?;)
     
  15. DeathscytheVII

    DeathscytheVII Farewell, Daughter of Trigon

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    So i see batman ain't the one with the stone cold heart after all. It seems Starfire might have made something snap inside him, that makes him unable to interact with people or at least, show some humanity anymore. Gosh, i was so shocked, i thought he was going to put the bo staff back after he saw raven! :eek: The girl was confused and didnt know what was happening. Of course, you still keep it justifiable, and part of us knows that cold blooded logic dictated that course of action, but we at the same time feel sympathy for her. Nightwing just acts without hesitation, both logical, and chilling still :D

    Quasi villain is right Death, i hope he gets whats coming to him or whatever sharp blunt object you can think of :D


    And one year! congrats dudE!
     
  16. SecretNinja

    SecretNinja Robin's missing his pants.

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    I like how Matt A makes my reply/comment look like a piece of toilet paper on the curb:p ...Pfft Death58 will like it anyways, it shows...love ...of fanfic-ness.

    Im waiting for more:D

    -S-N-
     
  17. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Wow. . .quite the feedback. You like my view points as well? Hhhmm. . .not a thing that too many people share with me when it comes to how 'not so optimistic' I really am. See calling me amazing just makes me feel all happy. . .and now I know you love me.:p
    An A rather than an A*? That works for me. I'm just happy to get an A! Yes, I made sure that you remembered that even though Raven is broken, her emotions are still able to cause more damage than almost anything else. I also agree that Nightwing clubbing her in the face was something that I thought would be how he would react. .Although he could have at least said sorry, right? I feel like the point of this fic, above all else, is to show you situations that every reader will get a different feeling from. This is one of them; you can either think Nightwing is justified in what he is doing, or he's being a hard ass. Either way, you have an opinion on this, so it matters.

    And if you have story ideas, I would be happy to write a couple, with any help you could provide. The only thing my mind comes up with is really tragic things. . .and I want to do something more, as you would put it, black humor.

    Also. . .maybe that picture question wasn't as rhetorical as you'd imagine.
    Thanks on the year congrats! I never even imagined it would fly by so very quickly. . .I'm no longer a newbie on the board!:D Anyway, yes, Starfire's death made something snap in Nightwing's head that will never, ever be the same again. What makes it worse is that he never told Star how much he truly, truly loved her. . .even though he did kind of abandon her to keep his own sanity in a way. I thought you might enjoy that cold blooded logic. . .it reminds me of Fixit! Which, even though I had this planned out before I read that part of your fic, that did cross my mind when I actually wrote this. Yes, I'm sticking to the whole, "Nightwing is a villain," vibe. . .heheh. . .that was a maniacal chuckle. Ignore it.
    Hey, you took five minutes, or however long of your day out to read my rubbish, and comment on it too. I consider that an extreme compliment to anyone that does that, no matter how long the comment. So thank you. And obviously I get the whole love. . .of my fan-fic. Obviously.:sweat: More is still to come.

    Oh, and this is for Matt in reference to the next chapter. . .although I think everyone can make their assumptions.
    . . .
    . . .
    "We have just lost cabin pressure."
     
    #17 Death58, Jul 30, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2006
  18. SecretNinja

    SecretNinja Robin's missing his pants.

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    Maybe....its because...im as not so optimistic? :shrug: I dunno. Good...im glad that your happy that i called you amazing.:p

    Pfft...you may believe its rubbish...but i definetly dont! And so does the rest of the readers. I thought you would get the whole love thing :)

    :eek: Cabin fever? lol Just kidding...I have no clue really what that means...so ill just say i do!
    ...
    ...
    I understand what this means! But i wont say anything! Cause i dont want to ruin it you know...;)

    Later -S-N-
     
  19. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Some are funny, some are not: it depends on your point of view.;) I'll PM you a few summaries as soon as I get the time.

    Well, that just made my day.:anime:

    There are a few million ideas now running through my head, all of them zero-kelvin cool. But just to narrow things down a little, are we talking a

    "It's called a changeover. The movie keeps on going, and no one in the audience has any idea."

    moment?;)

    -Matt A-
     
  20. Death58

    Death58 WFWC Vet.

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    Well. . .um. . .thanks.:anime:
    Well, I'll say this Ninja, there is going to be quite a kick out of this next chapter. I'm a little nervous about it, to be honest. You'll get what I mean about that saying once you read the chapter. . .and thanks for replying back to me!;)
    You know my point of view on many things, so I'm sure if it's offensive in any way, or dark, I'll probably find it funny. Sounds like a plan.
    I thought you might enjoy that. . .after all, this fic was inspired by Fight Club, and The Bad Seeds in a way. Yeah, that little quote can mean a lot of different things, right?

    Also, the quote you used. . .well, that quote right there explains the ending of this next chapter absolutely perfect. Hopefully, you don't see where I'm leading.:evil:
     

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