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Teen Titans Fan Fiction Tears of a Smiling Shadow-A Teen Titan Fic

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by starfire0639, Mar 2, 2005.

?

Should I continue this story and if I do will you read it?

Poll closed Mar 31, 2005.
  1. Hell ya!I'm with it till the end!

    11 vote(s)
    84.6%
  2. Of course,why wouldn't I?

    5 vote(s)
    38.5%
  3. I'll read it for a while but start to ignore it.

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  4. Na...this story bores me.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. starfire0639

    starfire0639 Active Member

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    ;)
     
    #1 starfire0639, Mar 2, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2005
  2. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    So, you decided to post it. I'm glad. If that was any indication, I expect nothing but greatness.
     
  3. K-dog

    K-dog the latin king of comedy

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    good poem ash. i liked how you added some actions when you wrote it. keep goin
     
  4. Raeofdarkness

    Raeofdarkness Member

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    I hate it when people cough.;)
     
  5. Raven13

    Raven13 Yes please.

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    I really like the poem it is really cool! it seems as if this person has very great power. I think I know who it is though, but I wount tell. Gosh I hate coughs too!!!!:sad: :D

    ~ ~ Raven13 ~ ~
     
  6. ShadowOfAGhost

    ShadowOfAGhost Computer Geek

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    Very nice! I would just recomend getting someone too look over it for you for spelling and whatnot (seeing as you use wordpad, which has no spell check feature). take the idea and run with it.
     
  7. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    I agree. This looks like it's gonna be cool.:D
     
  8. K-dog

    K-dog the latin king of comedy

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    nice ash...hmm...her power seems pretty cool, one of the titans wanted to get her back to the tower and "POOF" there in the tower.....POST MORE:D:D:D:D




    cityofdarkages
    A.K.A CODA
     
  9. BluFire1213

    BluFire1213 I'm Weird?!?GET OUT OF HERE!!!

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    look im a nacho!... with 3 degree burns!

    coool sounds great i am very interested in reading... i like raven's personality already..but u kinda rush into the scenes a bit fast....it's ok its still good:anime:
     
  10. ShadowOfAGhost

    ShadowOfAGhost Computer Geek

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    this is starting out very well! it does seem to go a little fast, though. my recomendation for fixing this would be to add all the detail you can, specificly about sceenery, just be carefull it doesn't get out of hand. for example:

    here is what you wrote:

    _________________________________________________

    "Then we can know of her much better and become that of freinds!"

    "Lets just get back to Titans tower and we'll...uh...",everyone stopped talking as they all started to feel a tug coming from the darkness of the street.

    "What the!" A few seconds passed and the titans vanished only to appear.....in the Titans Tower.

    Raven looked at the still unconsious girl then at the glary eyes freinds."This girls going to be a fun one to master."-she rolled her eyes again and left to her room leavign the still stunned freinds,BB holding the girl,in the dark shadowed room.
    ________________________________________________

    with adding a bit more detail it could be drawn out longer and more easily visualized. Keep in mind that you're the only one who knows what you want people to "see". I would re-write it like this (keep in mind I don't know what you want it too look like, so I will only go on what I read)
    ________________________________________________

    "Then we can know of her much better and become that of freinds!"

    "Lets just get back to Titans tower and we'll...uh..."

    Everyone stopped talking as they all started to feel a strong tug coming from the darkness of the street. The world surrounding them began to stretch into obscurity. Where there had once been stars and street lights there was only darkness. Once the world had melted away into the shadows, black was all there was to see.
    Just as their surroundings had completely disapeared, the process seemed to reverse itself. Out of the perpetual darkness new images began to slowly come in to focus, only this time, the images were no longer of the street where they had previously been.

    "What the!" Robin wondered aloud.

    A few seconds passed and the new images had come into complete focus. They now stood inside Titans Tower.

    Raven looked at the still unconsious girl in Beast Boy's arms, then at the glary eyed freinds."This girls going to be a fun one to master."-she rolled her eyes again and left to her room, leavign the still stunned freinds,BB holding the girl,in the dark shadowed room.
    _______________________________________________

    I'm not trying to intrude on your story, just give you an example to see what I mean.
     
  11. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Well, even by your already strange standards, that chapter was weird. In a good way, naturally: the weird-ass powers and the girl's comic misunderstanding of what was going on were entirely unexpected, and all the more welcome for it. This seems like it's gonna be cool already. Well done!:D :D :D :D :D

    Ta,
    Matt A
     
  12. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    1. If you used those ages, then you'd have to make them the "Team Titans," or just the "Titans."

    2. I personally can handle a lot of that stuff. Just to be safe, don't do too much.

    3. Of course. We all love you. Especially me...:anime:
     
  13. TeenTitansGO!

    TeenTitansGO! expremental Upnnas

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    if those were the ages, she would have the teen titans, cuz that's about the age they were in the comics
     
  14. Vivace

    Vivace Therapists love my money

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    Listen to the man, and mabye he'll let you play with his plastic bowl...But yeah this story is good. Continue on or people will rebegin death threats for not posting chapters. At least I will.
     
  15. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    That's quite all right. I'm SURE we're all used to it by now.
     
  16. Pookey

    Pookey Member

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    I Love It I Love It!!!!!!.....
     
  17. Kregor8

    Kregor8 Communitas Ex Nihilo

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    Ok, that was awesome. In one sense. In another sense, it was horrible. :D But you knew I was OCD on grammar.

    I'll talk about the awesome first:
    This storyline is just cool. New, mysterious character with weirdo powers. Humorous misunderstanding. Awesome things coming up (duh). Huge potential for this story, and I really like that.

    Ok, now we'll move on to the not so good part - please don't take this harshly. I'm just going to be blunt as a spoon and hope you won't be offended:
    Your spelling is awful.
    Your grammar is awful.
    Your amount of typos are awful.
    The fact that I can't tell who's speaking sometimes is awful.

    Now that I've said that, I'll say it's nothing a little editing can't fix. And we already know you've got that covered now. :D So the next chapter should just flat out rock!

    Not that this one is bad - like I said, I'm obsessive and it sets my grammar senses wild. So...

    "I see a future for you in showbiz. A bright, but very short future." - Mumbo

    You do the writing, and we'll make sure your career isn't shortened.

    7<regor
     
  18. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Hmm, more of the groovy weirdness and less of the spelling/grammar f-ups: things are looking up!:anime: :anime: :anime:

    Oh, and if you and Shadow are indeed smilar people...well, things should be getting interesting, to say the least.;)

    Ta,
    Matt A
     
  19. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    To say the very least. Amlin is interesting. A bit...well, I can't really describe her, but an interesting character.
     
  20. nevermore

    nevermore Destroyed...

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    Well, despite the fact that Shadow is indeed a lot like my character, this was good. Nevermore, my character, can do the same "Dive into the floor" trick, but he is a shadow and not a spirit demon.

    This is good stuff. Some of the spacing makes it difficult to read, but other than that and a few spelling and grammer errors, this is good. Continue with your writing as we are all patiently awaiting the next chapter.
     
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