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Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by ShadowOfAGhost, Jan 1, 2005.
That sums it up pretty well. I kinda doubt that Evirie is dead, though.
A chapter in a long time from Shadow! Quite a treat! A little something for everyone. The only thing I couldn't understand was "The Rancor." What was that? I don't I've ever seen that in any of the TT eps. If it has been, please tell me, as I would like to find out. (Hmm. I always thought Blackfire would be the one fighting Star...)
And you have to admit, that was pretty funny. I thought it captured Star pretty well.
Great chapter. Although you could have done a little bit more with the action.
was not too detailed. Oh! I might just be dull here, but if he forced her into submission... wouldn't that me that she's out-cold? Anyway, I just thought that was weird. However, you did have a very nice little sequence with Starfire vs. The reincor, and the chokings. But again, I didn't know who that was. I hope you're not mad at my ignorance.
I think I can see why you didn't have that much action. Perhaps, you were trying to move the story along? That's what I think. Oh, and that ending was nice, but knowing you... I'm willing to bet that the Teen Titans will figure a way out of this. Didn't you have a similar cliffhanger in one of the earlier chapters?
The whole trapped here trapped there thing really reminded me of that. But since you're such a good writer, I think you'll do very well with that. So keep it up!
<edit> Doh! I completely forgot! Hehe. The Rancor is from STAR WARS, not TT. Silly me. You even [post=1597083]posted it here[/post]! I'm such a goof!
Even though that was about halfway to what I was originally thinking, I was still deeply surprised by that chapter: how they managed to take out Evirie, and that bi-hatch of a cliffhanger, were both entirely unexpected. I praise your skill yet again!
-does same and falls over-.....duuuuude....
I read the extended chapter 2, and it was amazing. That should have been the original chapter two, but it's so good it was worth waiting for. Like the extended Lord of the Rings, this is the copy I'll always reach for. Can you do that with a few more chapters? Please?
Ok, now I'll go read chapter 17.
Okay, here it is..... the final chapter of Shattered Dreams:
“I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’m beggin’ you to beg me”
-Cheap Trick, I Want You to Want Me
It seemed as if all hope had disappeared from the Titans, as if it had simply evaporated out of them like steam. Each sat around trying to pass the time in their own unique way. They had done their best to attempt prior methods of escape, but this time seemed hopeless. No matter what idea Beast Boy came up with, no matter how incredibly stupid it was, they tried it. They tried every option, and every option had failed.
Robin, being obsessive as he was, refused to give up hope that an answer may still exist somewhere in the depths of their minds. “Titans, we need to scour the area again. We have to have missed something.”
Cyborg idly played with the circuitry in his arm, “Man, can’t you accept it like the rest of us? It’s hopeless. We’ve tried everything.”
“…And we’ve looked everywhere a million times!” Beast Boy sat on the side walk, his chin in his hands, kicking a rock.
Robin let out a heavy sigh as he set himself to the ground, his legs hanging over the edge of the crater. He wasn’t about to accept defeat, but of all the predicaments and puzzles he had faced before, this one seemed the most hopeless of all. In the past, he had a clue, a pattern, a suspect, something to obsess over, something to devote countless hours too, if only for fruitless studying…but here he had nothing!
He watched as a pebble rolled down the craggy slope of the crater. It came to a rest at the bottom. Picking up a few more pebbles in his hand, robin gently rolled them between his fingers before letting them quickly bounce into the hole after the others. Nothing better to do, he lowered himself into the hole to explore it once more. One step at a time, he circled it, slowly working his way downward toward the epicenter, the gravel scraping under his feet as he descended. He could hear the hollow whine of the breeze overhead as it rippled over the pit. If nothing else, the time in the dream had sharpened his senses, though it didn’t seem to do him any good now.
At the very base of the pit, Robin stooped over a tiny black spot on the ground. He didn’t know what it was, but for some reason, it seemed to fascinate him, captivate him. He stared at it, as if it gold.
“Robin?” Starfire called from nearby, “Come sit with me! Robin?”
Robin snapped out of his trance. “Why don’t you come down here?” He called back, “We can lay against the side walls of the crater!”
As Starfire got to her feet and shuffled slowly toward the hole, Robin’s attention was once again won over by the small black spot on the ground. Captivated, yet puzzled by it, Robin reached out for it. A few more loose stones tumbled down the slope as Starfire slid down beside him. “What is it that you are looking at Robin?”
Robin’s gloved hand reached down.
He touched the spot, then picked it up in his hand. It was just another chunk of asphalt that had broken loose in the explosion. He picked it up in his hand, reared back, and threw the stone as far as he could.
“Robin? Why do you not answer me?”
“Huh?” He turned his head to look at Starfire, “I’m sorry Star, I thought I found something, but it turned out to be nothing at all, just like everything else today.”
She smiled, then stepped forward, so she was next to him. It will all be of the okay, Robin. I promise.” Gently she took his hand. At that same moment, a gentle tremor shook the earth.
“Starfire, did you feel that?” She nodded.
Apparently bored with the rock he had been kicking around earlier, Beast Boy slid down into the pit along side the two. Unfortunately for him, a piece of a water pipe stuck out, right in his path. Beast Boy tripped and fell head over heels into the hole. Robin extended his hand to help him up. Gratefully, Beast Boy took it and began to rise. He was knocked down again by another tremor that ran through the ground, this one stronger than the rest. Oddly enough, it subsided the moment Beast Boy let go, and increased in strength once Robin helped him up again.
Intrigued with a new idea, Robin called the other two titans down into the hole. With the tremors that now ran in the earth, Raven opted to float, though Cyborg struggled to maintain his balance.
Raven’s dull voice was the same as always. “What is so important that you disrupted my meditation?”
“Hold Beast Boy’s hand.” Raven shrugged her shoulders as she complied with the instruction. Once the two connected, the tremors increased in strength, just as Robin had predicted.
Now Cyborg, you take Raven and Starfire’s hand. He did, and in doing such, they completed a circle at the bottom of the pit. Earthquakes raced through the ground, making it near impossible to balance. Yet through it all Robin held himself tall as a statue.
Beast Boy shouted over the commotion “What now? Click out heels and wish we were home?”
“It’s worth a try!” he shouted back. They tried it, but all it succeeded in was making them look like even bigger idiots.
The earthquake raced through the ground. Gradually, its effects began to show upon the city. Towers and sky scrapers began to crumble one by one, plummeting to the ground, kicking up massive dust storms. Somehow, though, the debris all seemed to miss the Titans, though the dust got so thick, none of them could see the other.
Starfire felt her right arm drop a bit, as she heard a scream of agony coming from Robin beside her. He was on his knees from sheer pain. Nothing had hit him, rather it felt like his head was near ready to explode. All his muscles clenched and cramped as tightly as they could. Starfire could do nothing but gape until the same fate befell Cyborg. Soon after was Raven, Then Beast Boy, then finally, Starfire herself. All of them held each others hands for dear life as they succumb to the searing pain, as the winds blew the dust into a whirlwind surrounding them. Raven felt it beginning to lift them off the ground. The twisting vortex was pulling them apart, and it was the last thing Raven would ever recall before she blacked out.
Robin slowly opened his eyes to the sound of pounding footsteps. As he looked up, he noticed the tail end of Brother Evirie’s cloak as it rounded the corner, heading for the street. Robin quickly got to his feet to give chase, oblivious to the banana peel in his hair. Robin quickly gained some ground on Evirie, lunged at him, and took him down on the street. Whether coincidence or not, the police pulled up at that moment to take Evirie away to prison.
Robin stood up and began to brush himself off. He felt something tug at his hair, and he turned to see Starfire holding the banana peel and giggling. Of course, she looked just as dirty and messed up as Robin, but so did the other Titans, who then filed in behind Starfire.
“Soooo….. how long have we been out for?” Beast Boy asked.
Cyborg held up his arm and began to read the panel. “It says...no way…” There was silence as the others waited for Cyborg to respond. It says we have been out for all of about six minutes.”
The Titans stared in astonishment at this, it had seemed like days to them, perhaps even weeks. But to have been under the spell for only six minutes was obscene.
“Robin,” Starfire piped up “how do we know that we are back in the real world this time?”
Beast Boy took a step forward, “I have an idea…”
“Does it involve bananas playing trombone, or shoe that can talk?”
“Actually Cyborg…it’s neither.” In one swift, fluid motion, he swept Raven off her feet and kissed her deep. When they finally broke, he smiled as Raven stammered out a question.
“How…how did you know…that…that I…?”
He placed a finger to her lips, silencing her. “I may be dumb, but I’m not blind.” Again, he dipped his head and kissed her deep.
Cyborg cleared his throat. The pair looked up, and as if in unison, answered, “What?”
“We’ll be in the T-Car when you two love bird’s are ready to go home. Cyborg turned his back and began to leave, the other two beside him, as the new couple only chuckled and smiled at each other.
And so here marks the end of the story, Shatered Dreams
Now remember to stick around for a bit, there is still an epilogue!
Wow, I didn't think it'd be over so soon. The ending made a lot of sense and was quite funny as well. (BB and Rae) I'm glad there's gonna be an epilogue, I'll be waiting for it.
That part was funny.
That was a good ending, but I had one small problem with it:
That part just seemed too short, I think. Maybe Evirie could have seen Robin, and tried to run, or something. After all Evirie's done to them, it just didn't seem like enough. Oh well, it's your story.
Overall, great fic, and I can't wait for the epilogue, or the next story!
That was a great ending, though i'm sad it's over
Loved the Oz line, hilarious!
Look forward to the Epilogue
That was a very nice ending to a great story.
I liked how, at first, there was no way out. You portrayed Robin's frustration extremely well, and I liked how you had the Titans try everything. Literally everything.
Also, I liked the part with BB and Rae at the end, but it did seem a bit rushed. Like maybe the kiss shouldn't have been as deep as it was, or it should have been only once or something, I don't know. But either way, I enjoyed that part a lot.
I don't entirely get how they got out, but it was a great idea. Maybe being in the dream had to do with their emotions or something, and it fed off of that. I dunno.
Oh well, I can't wait for the epilogue!!
-stands smiling wide-...........-wait for it-.............-wait for it-.........WOOOOHOOOO!!! Humor! A Kiss! The Villian Gone!! What Else To Say!? AH that was awesome Shadow!! -hugs Shadow- yaa i cant wait for the epilogue!!
Everyone else has already blagged my comments, so I'll just say this: quality ending, dude!
I wonder what the epilogue will bring to the table...
Well, all good things must come to an end, unfortunately. In matters of quality, the final chapter fit you as a writer very well. I only wish that you'd have fixed all the punctuation issues before you posted it. But, the story's ending was your style... and that's all I can really say.
I just knew that over these 18 chapters you'd have it all be like six minutes. Something in the back of my mind told me that, and imagine my joy when I found out it was the truth!
I loved Robin/Starfire's little conjunction -- it really added to the ending quality. The only problem is that I wish Evierie had not gone down so easily, but the mindsplit from the dream was what you'd expect from ShadowOfAGhost!
There are no single words or ways to express how that chapter was. Like I said, it was your style... and that's all there is to it.
This is Alpha Man. Signing off.
Holy crap! What happened Shadow?! WTF! I mean, seriously!
Did you like forget to put in quotes... at all!?!?!?
brother evirie gets defeated just like that
don't even get me started on the ending. to make a long story short, i absolutely hated it! that one moment seriously ruined the entire fic and i'm glad its a fic cuz if it wasnt my head wuda exploded!
well nuff with the bad stuff. how bout some good stuff? i thought bb was absolutely hilarious! you are so frickin funny! the ideas n jokes were okay but bb is really a goof when it comes to how humorous you wrote that chappie!
despite the exploding heads, i look foe-wad to da next chap, chap. why cawn't i speek like duh brittish!?
in all honewsty, I wrote this chapter at 1:30 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, despite being really tired, so I just wrote it and posted it without thinking twice.
.....I shalt go on by saying I don't agree with any of that. Shadow has to be the most awsome writer I'v ever met and had the pleasur of being friends with.His work:I look up to. And in no way shape or form do you have to apolgize for it Shadow. Wityh all the amazing work you'v done...With a couple mistakes you don't need an excuse.You've forked so many awsome chapters that you could make up a truly horrible chapter and your work could easily be forgivable. The ending chapter was awsome. Adn the way you figured out how to get them out of the dream was well thought out.All in all it was a great ending for a great fan fic. As I said...I will end this by saying I agree with nothing of what you say Anime.I would never take the wake of replying to somebodies thread in such a manner.Never would and never will.I await your epolouge bud.I can't wait to see what you come up with.-huggles-Good job.
ash-meister,fellow renegade master
i have to agrre w/ ash here 100% i mean i cant add or anything...Shadow u rock out loud! -hugs- cant wait and its all good buddy
careful.... don't start something you'll regret.
I just told Shadow what I thought of the chapter. nothing more, nothing less. I had to be honest.
Look, I don't want anything started here. just be nice to each other. Anime, you did have valid points, but your wording was a little bit rude. Ash, just please calm down. I don't want any trouble here. Please?
End of discussion. Don't apologize, don't reply to this, don't try to justify what you said, just drop it.