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Teen Titans Fan Fiction Raven: The Nest (C)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Alpha Man, Feb 11, 2005.

?

What should I write next?

  1. Prequel (Jeff's past)

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  2. Sequel

    19 vote(s)
    95.0%
  1. Kregor8

    Kregor8 Communitas Ex Nihilo

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    You get your wish.

    Neuf.

    Of course, you know I'm still not the fastest sometimes :(...promise just means I will read it. Eek, I'm still working my way through Vivace's fic.

    7<regor
     
  2. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

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    Niner! Huzzah!!:D

    C'mon! One one more! One moe! But still that does not mean for sure that the sequel will come out. It all depends on that one final promise... this is it...

    "We come to it at last...
    The great battle of our time.
    Here, the fate of the world...
    will be decided." -- Gandalf the White
     
  3. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

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    Neuf? French? Cool. Someone else who takes/knows French.
     
  4. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

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    Huh?:confused:

    Ta,
    Matt A
     
  5. Anime

    Anime Member

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    I promise to read your fic and review it upon chapter completion. Now lets see it!:D

    10 fer 10!
     
  6. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

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    The Final Word

    And with the last promise, the sequel will come out. I must thank everyone who read this fic and offered any feedback! You all have really made me a better writer. SoaG has said that he will nominate this to the next Hall of Fame, so I hope he doesn't forget. This marks the close to Raven: The Nest, and a new adventure begins. As we drift off into the sunset, we must remember that after sunset, things can get very dark...

    Thank You All!

    Until Next Time!:D
     
  7. ShadowOfAGhost

    ShadowOfAGhost Computer Geek

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    just so we all don't miss it, could you post a link to the new story on here once it comes out?
     
  8. Alpha Man

    Alpha Man Raven in a Bikini? Brilliant!

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    A link for a Ghost

    Sure no problem.;)

    It's in my signature, below. But just in case I happen to change my signature...
    [thread=136932]Click here to go straight to the sequel![/thread]:D
    [thread=142005]Or, click here to go to the prequel about Jeff's past![/thread]
     
    #368 Alpha Man, Mar 23, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2005
  9. starfire0639

    starfire0639 Active Member

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    Wow...Im only on chapter 15-yaya I know bad Ash-And I think its awsome.The portration of the charachters in believable and this new charchter Jeff seems charming.Its hard for me to see any flaws-Ill edit this after I finish reading the remaning ch-Well I must take my leave and can't wait to get back on and read the rest of this cool fic!:anime: Write on!-well I thought it was funny-:sweat:

    edit-i finished it and oh my god!it has a preggy raven and jeff died and and....and.....!That was amazing and I am now off to read the sequal!



    ash




    ps-fav part in whole story is you guys(mate alpha anime and becy)talking bout consumation.....hahahahahha-laughing hystericaly-oh god that was funny......is it amazing how i can picture the magor blush attacks on your faces right now?
     
    #369 starfire0639, Mar 26, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2005
  10. Edd

    Edd the dork that you fear

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    It took me a while, but I have finished the story and am prepared to review.

    Cold. The theme was carried through wonderfully, as was the point that one can be warmed. As the climax approached I could not help but find the love between Raven and Jeff sweet, particularly in the very emotional death of the later, but I can't say I found it sweet the rest of the time. No fault goes on your shoulders, really, but on mine. I can see that you and I understand Raven's character in two nearly completely contradictory ways. I could delve much deeper into that, but I think it may be misunderstood as bashing; PM me if you care to hear my perspective. I will say I thought someone as, well, cold as Raven fell in love fairly quick and I didn't understand why the Titans welcomed him with open arms, especially after Terra. Red X aroused some distrust which you could have continued to work with, but instead those feelings of distrust were extinguished very soon.

    Red X's involvement was handled uniquely; one minute he's offering the Titans help then the next he's fighting them (though when he offered help I suppose he was just going to lead them to a trap). And the way Robin snuck in as X was brilliantly dramatic; you prove time and time again throughout this story that you are a master of suspense. Some of my favorite parts were the disfiguration scenes, like with the Werebeast (which I would also like to point out--sorry--that the Werebeast was not evil, only primal; he attacked Adonis, not Raven, and he attacked the team because his primitive mind thought they would hurt Raven, too).

    The one-liners seemed to be a universal complaint that you fixed later on, but the quality of descriptions really remained amazing from beginning to end. I was particularly blown away by how vividly Jeff, Raven, and Cyborg's walk through Transylvania was; it made it feel so eerie I got chills. But there were often short/fragmented sentences used for dramatic effect that may have been just a tad over-used; they lessened when you stopped writing in the "ladder" format, as did the "sounds," like "Pow."

    You made it clear that you really loved making the cultural references, and everyone else seemed to love it, too. But, personally, I felt many of them were a bit too direct (direct scenes/quotes and the like). The high amount of them kind of took away from the uniqueness. It was unique for Teen Titans; I'm not arguing that. But, for example, the whole story had an air of Van Hellsing. I mean, Jeff was a monster hunter with ties to religion and vampires. But your Dracula was an original Dracula; was I the only one who didn't see him as pure evil? I mean, sure he got carried away with his "end of humanity" plan (lol - I say that as if it's light), but he did need to kill to survive. I felt bad for him because his son rejected him (o_O I'm not saying he shouldn't have) and I sympathized with him as he pleaded for his life. *shrugs* Maybe I'm just a freak.

    I really hope this doesn't come across as negative, because that would be a total misconception. While I offer this constructional criticism, this was a very good story and deserves the praise it's gotten. Some problems I had with it were more about me than about how you constructed a wonderfully intricate story; just different outlooks.
     
  11. Pookey

    Pookey Member

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    OMG! This was like the best fic EVER!! i cant beleive it, it was fantastic!!!! I cant wait to start the sequel, which i will right about.........................NOW!!
     
  12. Faethie

    Faethie Rockstarrlette

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    Yeas, I finished reading it (finally) and this was very awesome. Very.
     
  13. RavenofAzerath~

    RavenofAzerath~ military brat :b

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    word cannot express this, so i'll yalk with smilies:



    :D :D :anime: :p ;) :) :anime: :D :p :anime: :) ;) :p :anime: :D :evil: :p :anime: :D :) ;) :p :anime: :evil: :D :evil: :anime: :) ;) :p :D :D :) ;) :p :anime: :D :evil: :p :anime: :) ;) :p :anime: :D :evil: :D :anime: :p :D :anime: :evil: :D :anime: :) ;) :p

    X300

    +:D :D :anime:
     
  14. Ravenfire666

    Ravenfire666 the past team...

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    I hate to be a total downer but you Azorath langue is actuly Greek. Sorry to be such a party pooper. But as I was reading I sorta started to translate it in my head sorry:(
     
  15. Ravenfire666

    Ravenfire666 the past team...

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    Wow that was good and unexpected
     
    #375 Ravenfire666, Aug 17, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2005
  16. Dragonscar

    Dragonscar Defender of the Future

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    Hmm . . . well somehow I got the feeling that you were trying to . . . rush it a bit with this first chapter. After all, while I believe that it's important to quickly establish a hook, such as through an intense battle at the very start of a scene, I don't believe you should attempt to forgo a beginning. The first chapter just doesn't seem to really establish much of anything, except for the season and Raven's squirrel affinity, and the fact that it's either pre-dating Terra or after the fact that she's gone.

    I would suggest beginning a story in the middle of a battle with Cinderblock, with some shadowy opponent, then pulling a "Some time earlier . . ." thing. As it is, this seemed very . . . (forgive my seemingly-harsh choice of words) sloppy. Attempt to slow down a bit, take your time to establish a foundation before anything else. Give some detail, not so much the small things, but more along what's happening, lay a basis around which your story revolves. Have an original character? Make sure we know of his/her presence early. As it is, in this first chapter, there's nothing that really puts you on the edge of your seat--and that is extremely important.
     

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