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Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Alpha Man, Feb 11, 2005.
Ghost, have I ever called you a stickler before? Because you are.
And proud of it!!!
Really? Like what?
Don't tease ghost, he's on a mission from God.
Bonus Feature #3?! An Alternate Ending?!
Didn't expect this, did ya? My reputation is building! Well, I dove deep into the unseen and untold reaches of my mind to come up with this… Long ago, when I was still conceiving this story. It was a possibility, but for obvious reasons, it didn’t make the cut. Hope you enjoy!
(This is for Anime)
Jeff looked into Raven’s eyes, and the warmth left him.
The tears flowed down her cheeks, and she could not stop them.
Jeff was gone.
She was cold as ice.
Instead of feeling despair, she felt rage.
Dracula gazed at her in amazement, trying to contemplate this as well as the sudden loss of his son. He saw that Raven began to steam, and smoke emitted from her body.
Her eyes turned dark red, and two grew above them, on the forehead.
The Hatred was loose.
Raven let out a cry, a cry that would be the last of her humanity, which would leave her with these words.
The second syllable of the second word rang out for a few seconds longer…
Dracula felt fear, serious fear. He watched as the once human body of a girl shed all garments and skin to transform into pure energy. Black energy. Negative energy. Energy in the form of a bird… A Raven.
In one swift motion, Raven thrust her arms upward, as she hovered in midair, and her legs spread, so that her body was in the form of an ‘x’. The dark energy consumed her, as her body crackled with celestial power.
The power shrieked at Dracula, who attempted to escape… transforming into the Hellbeast and leaping toward the ceiling, wanting to go through the roof. But the power was expanding, the bird was growing. Its size was increasing exponentially.
She unleashed her unbridled fury.
The power waved a wing at the vampire, and a pulse blast of energy spat from it.
It obliterated Dracula in mid-transformation.
As the size kept expanding, faster and faster, it soon exploded through the castle.
Everything in the area of Castle Dracula was destroyed, and turned to ash.
Father Thomas was praying by his altar, hoping that Jeff and Raven would come home safely, despite the future that was predicted. His chants of Latin song were interrupted when an unseen force thrust him backward. He landed flat on his back, looking up at the ceiling.
And then he knew.
“Dark… Raven… ?” he muttered
The force also brought down the roof of the chapel upon him.
Just before it hit, as it fell, he uttered one final word,
The debris crushed his body.
The earth began to shake.
Robin was still steering the Titans Tower, when he looked to his left to see a black shape over the horizon.
A force eradicated the flying building, reducing it to nothing.
A flying Starfire was suddenly made into a skeleton, and the bones fell to the earth.
The power known once as Raven was moving upward, vertically.
It aimed straight for the moon.
A source of light... and warmth.
All this power wanted… was darkness.
It encircled the moon, and made a direct plunge for it, nearly matching the moon’s size.
The lunar sphere shook, and a black light was seen in the center, and split it into a thousand pieces.
A gigantic bird arose from the space rubble, still not satisfied, even from making several new asteroids.
It saw a new target… a little blue planet…
It was not Dracula’s destiny to destroy the world, but Raven’s.
The creature opened its mouth wide, as if to devour a tasty, long-awaited morsel.
With an ear-piercing shriek that echoed throughout the universe…
…all became dark…
Well that was one hell of a way to end it.
Don't know if it would've been well recieved but it's interesting nontheless.
Alphaman! Oh! You just saved me!!!! probably from making the worst mistake of my life! Thank God for you!
Thanks to that spectacular post by Alpha Man, I feel so happy now from his brilliant writing!!
Great ending!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!! I feel so good!!!!! Thank you for it!!!!!!!! I especially liked how you unified the first line of the story with the last, both saying "Cold." it was sooooooo cool!!!!! Your the best!
Shadows of Dark Phoenix...WITH A TWIST!!!!!!!! G-e-n-i-u-s!!!!!!! Amazing. I'm shocked at how great that was. And unexpected, too.
Hey, you know what that reminds me of? X-men. That was pretty cool - not nearly as nice as the story itself, but definetly one of the alternate endings that you can select on the DVD. (My bro and some friends filmed a cheesy murder movie and made 3 different endings for it)
I'm glad Anime is saved...from what, I really don't want to know.
Keith, Dark Phoenix is an X-Men story.
That alternate ending, was good, but not as good as the first ending. In my opion but it was still written well. It just kinda felt out of place if ya know what I mean.
Dude, I know that, cause I've read it. How would I know it was X-Men if I hadn't read it? (It's one of the best story lines that they did, too).
The reason I said that is: I said that it reminded me of Dark Phoenix, and the you said that it reminded you of X-Men. They're kind of the same thing.
For obvious reasons, it did not make the cut.
Yes... but it still would have been an interesting twist... nontheless.
Okay my duckies! An Update! With that, Bonus Feature #3, Raven: The Nest is officially concluded. Pour the wine, and cut the cheese!
Celebrate all you want, because there is a time of peace... for now.
I have nothing left to do except the sequel! But, there is a catch...
I know it is unnecessary to do this, but I would like to have TEN (10) promises from readers who promise to read the sequel as soon as it comes out and review it. I do this because I don't want to waste your time or my time. As soon as the tenth promise is said, the sequel will be submitted.
So, the fate of the world... is in your hands. You decide whether I write a sequel.
You know I'm going to read and review. I'm practically begging for a sequel, do how could I miss it. I promise I'll review it.
Make it two.