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One-star Amazon.com reviews

Discussion in 'Platypus Comix' started by Kung-Fu Yoshi, Nov 30, 2014.

  1. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    Post any stupid, dumb, interesting 1-star reviews you find on that site, and post them here.
    I'll start.

    Just don't post reviewers' actual names unless there was none to begin with. Changing the names is fine.

    Anyway, this review comes from the Animal Crossing: New Leaf game.

    Believe you me; the worst is yet to come.
     
  2. quiteliterally

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    I've seen countless one-star Amazon reviews in which the reviewer goes on to praise the sky out of the product, so evidently they thought that one star was the highest value.

    A shame how many overall product ratings can get dragged down due to reviews of that nature (or reviews which are actually complaining about the quality of service received from a marketplace seller, not the product itself).
     
  3. Calvin64

    Calvin64 Member

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  4. Getouttamylab!

    Getouttamylab! Was a coiled up attack snake before it was cool

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    Amazon.com : Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears 5LB Bag : Gummy Candy : Grocery & Gourmet Food
    These gummy bears went down in history for the gastrointestinal distress eating too many of them caused, and even now Amazon's pages for these gummy bears (such as that one I linked to) are still flooded with one star reviews (along with a bunch of five star reviews...nearly all of which are people being facetious) harping about how painful they felt after eating them, embarrassing public incidents, or destroying their toilets after eating them.
     
  5. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    Whatever happened to going to the store?

    Here's some Smash Bros. reviews:
    Oh, you mean the one with the cornucopia of bad reviews? No thanks!
    I left the real name in because he has a book.

    And some other random game reviews.

    Next one might be slightly inapproriate for some viewers (sexual language, not too bad)

    One more VG review

    And a movie review

    You can't make these up... and remember whenever the user's actual name (whether it says ''real name'' or not) is used here, an alternate name can be put in or you can remove it alltogether in your posts.

    Usernames can be left as is. And you can link to the reviews directly if you want to.
     
    #5 Kung-Fu Yoshi, Dec 1, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2014
  6. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
    Staff Member Moderator Reporter

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    What drives me nuts is when users write one star reviews, but they say nothing about the product in question but the service of the seller. We don't care how bad the seller was; that stuff goes in seller feedback!
     
  7. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    That happens all the time. That kind of review's everywhere.
     
  8. Getouttamylab!

    Getouttamylab! Was a coiled up attack snake before it was cool

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    This guy gave The 7D a one star rating...because of a poster with a pun he found unoriginal. Seriously?
     
  9. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    Here's a batch of movie and game reviews. Pretty stupid, if you ask me.



    Here's some movie reviews:





    Eventually, I'll post larger quantities of reviews. It takes about a half-hour to do these.
     
    #9 Kung-Fu Yoshi, Dec 3, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2014
  10. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    Another type of ''bad'' bad review -- is when a person says their product didn't work, but doesn't write how or why did it not work.

    Other types of bad reviews include: the person receives a bootleg of the product and writes about it (common on Disney DVDs and older recent games), or otherwise non-descriptive reviews (the person just writes ''bad'' or something like that. No mention about whether the DVD worked or not, or why they didn't like the movie.)

    Here, we only pick the worst, or stupidest, or most interesting of those. We can't just go and post some random grandma's typical 1-star review. But if that grandma is having a bad day and decides to type in all-caps and misspell ten words, then....
     
  11. Getouttamylab!

    Getouttamylab! Was a coiled up attack snake before it was cool

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    Another kind of bad review that I can think of is when someone gives something a 1 star review not because they didn't like the product they got, but because of some random reason, often completely unrelated to the product in question.

    Something like: "I liked (product), but why doesn't (company) make a product like this, too? It makes me so mad!"

    I've seen it at least once on Amazon, and also on the Apple App Store a lot, as well.
     
  12. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    An nexample of such idioticness right there.



    One more for today


     
  13. Calvin64

    Calvin64 Member

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    "gated through this game"
     
  14. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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  15. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    The reviews on Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel book are stupid -- plenty of idiots giving one-star reviews and having the actual content being a good review. There's also quite a bit of incomprenshible reviews there too. So frustrating.

    Here's some examples of crappy reviews for the book series in general.

    Amazon.com: Ryan Jones' review of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel (Boo...

    Apparently the key to drawing books are to draw your people with proper clothes. What would be proper clothes exactly?


    Amazon.com: Hakan Tasci's review of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 1

    I know what you guys are thinking - no, there's no ''inapproriate'' language in the book. I haven't read it in a while, but it was all mild. Would you talk to a school about taking out books due to language kids normally say?

    Amazon.com: Tony A. Phillips' review of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 1

    Money is not the root of all evil -- ''sissy'' is. Even dumber than the other one.

    Amazon.com: James Charnock's review of Rodrick Rules (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 2)

    If it's not even good enough for 8-9 year old girls in chess club, then what's it good for?

    Amazon.com: dare to care's review of Rodrick Rules (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 2)

    Nobody knows books -- better than Cadbury.

    So guys, what do you think was the best ''worst'' review so far? Post your opinions and thoughts here. Read all these reviews thoroughly -- or maybe I'll post a bad review.;)
     
  16. Getouttamylab!

    Getouttamylab! Was a coiled up attack snake before it was cool

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  17. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    Yeah, that was stupid. I'm guessing that was your favorite bad review, right?
     
  18. Getouttamylab!

    Getouttamylab! Was a coiled up attack snake before it was cool

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    Well, in terms of facepalm-worthiness, I'd say it is.
     
  19. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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    My favorites of the year were was the Luigi's Mansion reviews.

    First off -- an adult who could beat harder, much harder games than LM - couldn't beat it. *sigh*

    The other review for the game I posted was from a kid who typed in all-caps and couldn't even spell, plus he jumped to the conclusion that Bowser was King Boo.
     
  20. Kung-Fu Yoshi

    Kung-Fu Yoshi Active Member

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