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My Journey to the Center of Recovery

Discussion in 'Cafe toonzone' started by Steve Arino, Jul 22, 2017.

  1. Steve Arino

    Steve Arino Member

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    Hi everyone,
    As many of you readers are aware, a few days ago, months after the Suicide of Chris Cornell, the Music Industry lost another great one in Chester Bennington, age 41, the frontman for Linkin Park, who killed himself this past Thursday and was found dead at Noon ET / 9 A.M. PT that morning.
    A Chronic Hernia led Chester into great Physical Pain throughout his short life, but still, his Suicide was very surprising to me; whatever he was going through with his Mentality, like so many fail to do before making such a drastic decision, Chester should have hung on, told a friend, a bandmate of his, whoever, exactly his feelings, maybe he'd be seeking Psychiatric Treatment at a local Hospital right now instead of making his fatal, drastic decision on Thursday.
    Personally, I knew one of my Dad's co-workers quite well, Bob Kicklighter, who at age 52 on June 5, last month, also ended his own life after years of financial and other problems--among other things the loss of his late father, his father-in-law's loss, and the loss of his Pecans from Hurricane Matthew near his primary residence of Claxton, Georgia, 20 miles from my hometown of Statesboro, Georgia, an hour Southeast of the Georgia coast in Savannah, where I still live today.
    For stories like Chester's and my friend Bob's, there are similar stories with uplifting endings--mine is a great example.
    It's a Chapter of my life I've only revealed privately to my parents and few close hometown friends--until right now.
    Growing up in Statesboro, you could say that my life was odd, but strangely normal, from the moment I was born on December 9, 1984, to the most loving parents I could ever want to have; at age 3, I was diagnosed with a severe case of Autism, a serious Brain Disease affecting, per NBC News, 1 in 50 kids born in the U.S. alone, many of whom SADLY never speak, but thankfully, with lots of Medication combined with individual therapy in my youth, I do so much more than that.
    I sing, play Guitar, and have proudly acted in 9 stage shows as an Actor/Performer before my 2012 retirement at my local Community Theater Organization; the road there, however, wasn't easy--especially considering the pure Shit I survived.
    At age 11, I was severely Abused by a female teacher, Janice Leggett, who had male classmates take turns each day holding my penis for me as I tried Peeing--a form of Abuse I later learned as an adult was called Physical Restraintment.
    But wait, there's more: a year later, ANOTHER female teacher, Janet Hamilton, was a bit of a bully towards me as her student, always getting me into trouble EVERY DAY that I walked into her classroom--usually for NO REASON at all.
    By age 15, I became a Recluse, basically NEVER leaving home except to go to School (albeit for the wrong reasons) and the occasional out-of-town weekend family trip; at age 17, I was given a separate diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD for short; the icing on the cake, as far as years of mistreatment, etc. was concerned, occurred on May 7, 2003, 2 weeks shy of my high-school graduation; that fateful afternoon, an otherwise celebratory occasion was ruined for me upon my learning via the annual yearbook, with ZERO prior knowledge beforehand, that my then-crush, Lauren Deal, was both seeing AND premaritally fornicating this guy named Matt Rogers, whom she's since married with 2 young kids of their own--info of which I no longer cared or wanted much less to know after learning the info on Facebook; on June 18, 2004, 13 years ago, I attempted Suicide by hanging my right foot on telephone wires at home.
    The reason behind my Suicide Attempt was entirely because of the hurt that Lauren was causing me even then; as one may expect, I survived physically unharmed, thank God; however, the wires broke apart by accident. I had hoped instead that I'd be fatally Electrocuted and no longer have to face the mental hurt and pain Lauren was causing me.
    Within a year after I survived my Attempt, after exhausting so many other alternatives, I decided to physically and mentally remove myself from Statesboro by enrolling in college.
    I arrived at the Roosevelt School near Pine Mountain, Georgia on March 13, 2006 as an attempt to run away from the hurt I had been feeling for nearly 3 years up to that point; 3 weeks later, April 2, 2006, marked the happiest day of my life.
    That fateful day, I met and fell in love with a fellow student named Amy Spinelli, who to me was everything Lauren NEVER was or could be as far as being kind, considerate, caring and honest with me to a fault, which I'm very appreciative of to this day more than I can ever describe.
    By her example alone, Amy made me realize I NEEDED to not just make a change in life, but also forgive Lauren, Janice and Janet respectively for all the hurt they had been causing me for 10 years exactly up to that point--which I have done.
    Though I haven't seen her since leaving Roosevelt behind on October 6, 2006, I never will forget Amy, and what I learned through my experience with her carries with me everywhere.
    In November 2008, soon after Thanksgiving that year, I began getting very heavily into the Evangelical Sermons of a relatively young Preacher named Kirk Cameron, who's been delivering Sermons since the year 2000 both on TV and in various U.S. Churches; soon after Dot passed away in January 2009, I discovered, per Kirk's official personal website at http://kirkcameron.com (revamped in 2013) that he has a younger sister named Candace, who per the website is a happily married housewife to a retired Pro Hockey Player named Val Bure, with whom she has 3 teenage children and lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida; considering I have relatives who live near Candace in Fort Lauderdale, I'll admit that I considered traveling there from Statesboro for a week-long vacation to visit my said relatives AND hopefully have a face-to-face conversation with Candace in a public venue such as the local Burger King or the fanciest restaurant in the city.
    Instead, however, I voluntarily chose a much safer, free-of-charge way to meet Candace--Social Media, initially via Twitter 6 years ago on September 2, 2011, with our Social Media friendship I'm happy to admit expanded to Facebook as well as Instagram in the 6 years this Fall since that fateful day.
    My point in sharing all this is that every word written here is 100% TRUE, but also that for those who are contemplating Suicide as an Option, PLEASE think about what you'll be leaving behind--a family that loves and cares about you in more ways than you can ever imagine; find a support system, like a true friend who'll stick by you through thick and thin, or maybe try Counseling or One-On-One Therapy with a Doctor, preferably a Psychiatrist; but PLEASE, whatever you decide to do, NEVER is it good or OK to end your own life by any means; before I conclude this writing, also if you or someone you know is reading this and is contemplating Suicide, PLEASE call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
    Thank you, and God Bless Everyone!!!
     

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