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Kurt Angle: The True Story(PG-13)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by James Bester, Jul 27, 2008.

  1. James Bester

    James Bester Screaming for Vengeance

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    This is the true story of Kurt Angle's life, straight from sources closest to the man himself. It reveals truths never revealed in the past. From Kurt's proposal to Karen at the Olympic games to how he single-handedly destroyed ECW, every secret is told in full.

    Part I

    It was a sunny day at Lebanon High School deep in the ghetto of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Kurt Steven Angle, a High School Wrestling legend, was doing his typical 20-mile jog after school on the track. Over fifty babes rushed the track after he finished to rub his body in oil and begged to ride the "olympic train". "Now, now ladies," Kurt said. "I promised myself to remain a virgin until my fateful day in Atlanta in 1996. I have prophesied that I will win a gold medal that day and solidify myself as a modern-day Superman."

    The ladies walked away in disappointment, knowing what they were missing out on. Kurt then walked home to his tough life deep in the most dangerous neighborhood of the northeast. As soon as he got home, his brothers immediately attacked him with katanas and sliced open his neck. This would cause the fateful injury that would lead to his victory in the olympic games years from that time. However, when Eric attempted another slice at his head, Angle ducked and used the ankle lock for the first time. Eric screamed in pain, and the rest of the Angle brothers ran away, shocked at the immense pain Eric was in. Kurt then literally tore his foot off. That was the last time the Angle brothers ever screwed around with the future olympic gold medalist.

    For the next several years, Kurt trained for the olympics in a very hardcore style. From squatting up to 500 pounds and benching his entire family at the same time, Kurt was prepared to take on any monster that would dare to challenge him at the great stage in Atlanta. That monster ended up being Abbas Jadidi.

    Abbas stood at over 6 feet tall and was known for taking out over 20 of the most athletic prisoners deep in the most intense prison in Iran. However, Kurt feared no one and prepared for years for this day. Of course, he faced a great challenge along on the way. His brother, Eric, wanted to apologize to Kurt for his countless attacks and decided to take him out for a night at the local strip club. Even though Kurt knew that Eric was only taking him so he could get in for free due to Kurt's recognition, he decided to go with him, being the most charitable man in Pittsburgh. On the way, the enemy gang of the Angle Brothers, the ruthless Chinatown Bushmen, attacked Kurt and Eric with baseball bats. Kurt took nine of them out with ruthless clotheslines and german suplexes. However, the tenth and final member got a clear shot at Eric's head. Kurt jumped in the way of the shot as the bat shattered his neck into pieces. Eric ran away in fear as the leader of the Bushmen kicked at Kurt's nearly lifeless body on the ground. Kurt then grabbed at his ankle and put him in the ankle lock. Unable to control himself, Kurt tore the leader's foot completely off as well.

    After he had single-handedly defeated the feared Chinatown Bushmen, Kurt resumed his training with a severe broken neck. Then on that fateful day in 1996, Kurt confronted Abbas Jadidi at the Olympics in Atlanta, GA for the biggest amateur wrestling match in the history of our world. The two men locked up and Kurt put Abbas on his shoulders. Kurt then threw Abbas right into his trainer on the other side of the arena, knocking him out completely. Kurt was ruled as the winner and won the Olympic Gold Medal to fulfill his destiny. As he celebrated, a girl in a bikini ran to him on the podium and jumped on him. "Hi, I'm Karen," the girl said.

    "Well, congratulations Karen!," Kurt said. "I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist! Now that I have won, my sexual shield has been shattered. Will you marry me?'

    "Oh yes," Karen said. "It would be my pleasure, you wrestling machine."

    Then Kurt and Karen proceeded to do things on the podium that I can't describe here on a family-oriented forum.

    After Kurt had fulfilled his destiny, he decided to go venture into the world of professional wrestling. A studly man named Paul Heyman gave him a call one night to come to the ECW on October 26 of that year. Little did he know, he would see an abomination that day. An angle was done on the show that involved Raven symbolically crucifying Sandman in front of his son. Kurt was offended by the storyline and went to Heyman to complain. "Heyman!," Kurt shouted. "This storyline is an abomination in the eyes of Kurt Angle. I demand that you will not associate me with this storyline OR company. Got it?"

    "HAHAHA," Paul Heyman laughed. "Kurt Angle, you will gain me all kinds of ratings and revenue and take me to the top of this industry. You aren't going anywhere Olympic boy. RAVEN, SANDMAN, TAZZ, DREAMER...ATTACK!!"

    At that point, the four top guys of ECW jumped Kurt with barbed wire baseball bats. Kurt easily subdued them with clotheslines as Heyman ran for the door. However, another man on the roster, Shane Douglas, lit a dumpster on fire right near where the fight was taking place backstage. After Angle had taken care of the other four, Shane grabbed him and attempted to throw him into the inferno of the flaming dumpster. Of course, Kurt merely gave him a punch in the face, and Shane flew right into the dumpster himself. Kurt then went on the search for Paul Heyman.

    Kurt's long search had eventually lead him to the parking lot in front of the arena. Kurt looked around the lot in search of the psychotic owner of ECW. All of a sudden Kurt heard a shout. "E....C....W!!!!," Heyman shouted, as he drove his '69 Mustang straight at Kurt at over 80 mph.

    Kurt jumped over the car and dove immediately through the roof of it. Heyman jumped out of the car and ran to hide in the building once again. Luckily, Kurt jumped out as well before the car dove into a large canyon to its end. Heyman ran to the backstage area and immediately ran out of breath. Still relieved that he had escaped the Olympic Gold Medalist, Heyman let out a sigh. It was that moment that he saw the unconscious body of Rob Van Dam thrown into the flaming dumpster. He then saw Kurt Angle walk into the open. Kurt grabbed him and gave him a cold look of anger. "Paul, I'm sorry," Kurt said. "I didn't want to do this, but you have forced me. Your organization is a terrible manifestation of your evil mind, and it must be destroyed, but first you must be destroyed with it!!"

    Kurt then took Heyman up for an Olympic Slam straight into the flaming dumpster. And that was the true end of Paul Heyman's ECW.....

    TO BE CONTINUED

    -Even though the truth has been revealed that Kurt Angle destroyed the ECW organization in 1996, we all know that it somehow lived on through 2001. The truth is, Angle was the reason for this. We will soon go into detail on how this happened.

    -And how did Heyman survive Angle's attack and live on to do other things with his career?

    All of these questions will be answered in part II of Kurt Angle: The True Story.
     
    #1 James Bester, Jul 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2008
  2. Punisher

    Punisher One Shot At Glory

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    10/10 Masterfully written, though I think Paul Heyman's line in the car should be changed to "E..C...DUB!!!!" instead of simply "w."
     
  3. TheDanger

    TheDanger New Member

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    Wow man. I might as well light my fanfic on fire and throw it into that there dumpster of yours.
     

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