Okay, first off, I'd like to explain that this peice is from a fiction that i started a while back on the World's Finest board. Recently, I was trying to work on my weak point; description. To practice this, I looked back, and edited the chapter. It's much better than what it was before, but I still have the feeling that it could use much more description........ it could just be my imagination, but I'd like a few other opinions. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. And any tips on how to improve my writing would be equally appreciated. Here it is....... "-CHRIS I TOLD YOU TO GO TO TO BED AN HOUR AGO!!!!!!!" rang the voice from the empty hallway. The asian teenager sat at his desk and put his head in his hands. "God.", he said quietly under his breath, as he rubbed his forehead. "MOM, I TOLD YOU," he said, annoyed at the third interuption by his mother thus far, "I JUST WANT TO FINISH WRITING MY FAN FIC!!!!!!!!!" "ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO GET INTO ONE OF THOSE SITES I BLOCKED?????!!!!!" his mother inquired. "NO MOM, I'M JUST WRITING FAN FICTION...." "THAT'S NOT ILLEGAL IS IT???? THERE'S SO MUCH ILLEGAL STUFF ON THE INTERNET THESE DAYS... LIKE THOSE NASTY SITES" "MOM I ALREADY EXPLAINED TO YOU WHAT FAN FIC IS....... IT'S A MADE UP STORY...... REMEMBER?????" "SORRY HONEY, I WAS JUST MAKING SURE......I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS ABOUT THOSE KIDS GETTING INTO THOSE NASTY SITES AND I FOUND OUT THAT MOST OF THEM GROW UP TO BE PERVERTS!!!!!!" "DON'T WORRY MOM..... I'M NOT A PERVERT...... I'M JUST WRITING A PRETEND STORY, ABOUT THOSE HEROES WE'RE ALWAYS HEARING ABOUT ON THE NEWS......" "THE JUSTICE LEAGUE?" The young man sighed as he ran his hand down his face, "NO MOM, THE TEEN TITANS." "THE WHO?" The young hero sighed again as he, for what seemed like the millionth time, explained who the titans were, "YOU KNOW MOM......" he pronounced, as he rolled his eyes, "THOSE TEENAGE KIDS WHO FIGHT CRIME, THE ONES WHO ARE ALWAYS ON THE NEWS?????" "OHHHHHH, THOSE KIDS. THEY SHOULD REALLY BE SUPERVISED, LORD KNOWS WHAT THOSE KIDS DO IN THEIR SPARE TIME..... I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY GREW UP TO BE PERVERTS!!!!!!!" Sometimes Chris was amazed at what great lengths his mother would go throuhhjany moreFinally the young hero slammed his head against his keyboard, "MOM, THEY'RE NOT LOOKING AT POURN, AND NEITHER AM I..... DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'LL BE IN MY ROOM AFTER I'M DONE, AND I'M JUST ABOUT FINISHED." "OKAY CHRIS, BUT JUST BE SURE YOU'RE IN BED IN TEN MINUTES" "YEAH..... WHATEVER MOM." he said, with a hint of teenage sass. When the Chris turned back to his computer he noticed that the usual globe that spun in the top right corner of his internet window wasn't moving, and when he moved his mouse, the clicker didn't move. "Great." he stated angrily, "just...... freaking...... great."