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Great "Simpsons" Quotes

Discussion in 'The toonzone - General Animation Discussion' started by rizwan787, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Rex Banner: It's not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cock-eyed.
     
  2. mimitchi33

    mimitchi33 Kyupikon!

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    I have two:
    Bart:
    Hey, Dad. How come they're taking The Cosby Show off the air?
    Homer: Because Mr. Cosby wanted to stop before the quality suffered.
    Bart: Quality, schmality! If I had a TV show, I'd run that sucker into the ground!
    Homer: Amen, boy. Amen.

    Homer: Thesumofthesquarerootsofanytwosidesofanisoscelestriangeisequaltothesquarerootoftheremainingside. (NOTE: Put this sentence this way to indicate that he said it fast).
    Man In Stall: That's a right triangle, ya idiot!
    Homer: D'oh!
     
  3. Toonster

    Toonster Member

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    The Simpsons Season 2 The Way We Was,

    Marge: Homer, its not the end of the world , you know before we got married we hardly ever watched television.
    Bart
    : You lie!
    Homer
    : BART!


    Some old Simpsons shorts from the 80s I guess.

    Homer
    : Ok Hold still, this is the last picture on the road.
    Bart
    : ¨Praise the lord
    Homer
    : You watch your mouth you little Smart ass.



    Oh and what the hay, Futurama IS a Matt G
    roening show , and I am not too sure if their is a Futurama quotes thread anywhere.

    Futurama:love's labour's lost in space... Season 1.

    Leela: I didnt realize you were such a coin assuer
    Zapp
    : Well, I have studied abroad.... or two. Lmfaoooo
     
  4. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    There is, check it out here.
     
  5. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    On the contrary, there are two. One here: http://www.toonzone.net/forums/toon...uturama-quotes.html?highlight=futurama+quotes

    and another here, started by you, actually: http://www.toonzone.net/forums/toon...uturama-quotes.html?highlight=futurama+quotes

    If you want to post any more it would be best if you used those, especially the first one since it's older and more established.
     
  6. Toonster

    Toonster Member

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    I could not find it. My bad. Thanks for the links
     
  7. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    The Otto Show

    (Skinner the bus driver's been waiting to pull into traffic for hours)
    Skinner: LET ME IN! LET ME IN!!!!!!
    Ralph: (singing) He steps on the clutch and the toilet goes flush, hail to the...
    Skinner: SHADDAP!!!!
    (Ralph zips it and quickly looks down)

    Beyond Blunderdome

    (the studio execs think they've run over Mel Gibson)
    Robin: You killed Mel Gibson!
    Christian: You all saw it; he came at me with a knife, right?
    Milo: Hey, it's just a dummy!
    Christian: I know, but he sells tickets.
    (really long awkward pause)
    Christian: Let's go.
     
  8. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Nelson: Haw, haha! He's (Bart) the greatest showman since that kid who
    eats worms.
    Worm-Eating Kid: [worms in mouth] My fifteen minutes of fame are over!

    At least he admits it.
     
  9. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    HOMR

    (Lisa discovers Homer purposefully made himself stupid again)
    Lisa: Dad, how could you? We were connecting in such a meaningful way.
    Homer: We were what what in the what what?

    ^ I'm not a fan of this snap-back ending at all, but Homer's line is pretty funny.

    The Great Money Caper

    (Bart and Homer are conned by Devon Bradley, who throws his badge into their jail cell)
    Bart: That's not an FBI badge!
    Homer: "Colgate Cavity Patrol"? Awwww.
    Bart: Now THAT guy was a grifter.
    Homer: Yeah, he conned us good. But at least we still have our jobs at the sweepstakes place.
    Bart: Ugh.
    Homer: What?

    ^ Homer's reading the "badge" is delivered well, and I love how Homer forgot that their sweepstakes job was made up.

    Bart Carny

    (after the Simpsons manage to take their house back)
    Cooter: There's no shame in being beaten by the best.
    Spud: But he didn't seem all that...?
    Cooter: We were BEATEN BY THE BEST, boy.

    The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

    (alternate ending to Who Shot Mr. Burns)
    Marge: Well I'm just relieved that Homer's safe and you've recovered and we can all get back to normal.
    Mr. Burns: Not exactly. Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving you a five percent pay cut.
    Smithers: Auuuuooohhhh...
     
    #489 SB20xx, Aug 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2014
  10. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Lisa: Mom! Dad! Please can I go here (Cloisters Academy)? I'll study so hard, I'll make the old me look like Bart!
    Homer: That would be one weird-looking kid.
    Marge: We'd love to send you here, sweetie. We just can't afford it.
    Man at Cloisters Academy: Well, I'm sure Lisa will be fine at Springfield Elementary. I hear they just found out there was a World War II.

    BURNED. :evil:

    Marge: You're my rock, Homey.
    Homer: And I promise this rock is going to weigh you down for the rest of your life.

    :sweat:
     
  11. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend anymore. That's why you couldn't come to the party.
    Bart: What's she got against me?
    Milhouse: She says you're a bad influence.
    Bart
    : [Slamming his hand on the table] Bad influence, my a**! How many times have I told you? Never listen to your mother!

    Way to prove her wrong, Bart.:rolleyes:
     
  12. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    ^ There are actually two versions of that scene, one which replaced "ass" with "butt". Personally, I think the "ass" version is funnier and drives the point home better.

    Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming

    Wiggum: Where's the guy that eats people's faces?
    Guy: I'm right here, chief!
    Wiggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
    Guy 2: Uh, he ran off.
    Wiggum: Oh GREAT. Well, if anyone asks, I beat him to death, okay?

    ^ So in order to avoid looking incompetent, he would rather look like a power abuser. Worst cop ever.

    Jaws Wired Shut

    (a word jumble, "MOT HANKS", appears on the theater screen)
    Lisa: These are so easy. It's obviously Tom Hanks.
    (the word is unscrambled and isn't Tom Hanks, but Otm Shank)
    Lisa: Who?
    Apu: Otm Shank. He is India's answer to Brian Dennehy.
     
  13. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    Homer Defined

    Three great jokes in a row:

    Marge: How are you enjoying your ham, Homey?
    Homer: (sullen) Tastes so bitter, it's like ashes in my mouth.
    Marge: Hmm... it's more of a honey glaze.
    Homer: What's your problem, boy?
    Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.
    Homer: That four-eyes with the goofy nose? You don't need friends like that.
    Lisa: How zen.
    (later, Homer's watching TV while Lisa stares at him)
    Homer: What???..... What is it? What are you doing?
    Lisa: Looking at you with quiet awe.
    Homer: Well, as long as it's quiet.


    Homer the Vigilante

    Homer: No burning leaves without a permit!
    (Homer's posse stomps his leaves)
    Man: I got one!
    Homer: Too late!

    And, Jimbo spraying graffiti:

    Homer: You better have a good reason for doing that, boy.
    Jimbo: It makes me feel like a big man.
    Homer: ...Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on there!

    Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

    Football player: I'm goin' to Disneyland!
    Wally: Really? 'Cause I'm a travel agent, and I've heard nothing but bad things.

    ^ Good thing Disney isn't a sponsor of the show.

    Make Room For Lisa

    Hibbert: Well, I could prescribe some harsh antacids but I think Lisa would benefit more from some herbal teas or aromatherapy.
    Lisa: Yeah. You know, some of that all-natural stuff is really very well-
    Homer: Oh, no, you don't! Screw that touchy, queer-y crap! We'll take the harsh antacids! Nothing's too good for my little girl.

    Bart Gets an Elephant

    (Marge tells Homer to throw out the old calendars and TV Guides)
    Homer: And these TV Guides? So many memories...
    (thought cloud)
    Carter: PY-LE!
    Gomer Pyle: Shazam!
    Carter: PY-LE!
    Gomer Pyle: Shazam!
    Carter: PY-LE!
    Gomer Pyle: Shazam!
    (thought cloud disappears)
    Homer: I'll never forget THAT episode.

    Viva Ned Flanders

    (a videotape of Homer and Ned's wedding to the floozies is shown)
    Flanders: (drunk) I okily-dokily-schmokily do!
    "Priest": And do you, Homer, take this cocktail waitress you just met to be your wife?
    Homer: (also drunk) What'd you call me?!
    "Priest": Sigh. Do you want to get married? MARRIED?
    Homer: Suuure. Sock it to me, baby.
     
  14. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Lisa: Oh, my God! These are the answers to the test. I don't wanna cheat.
    Nelson: Hey, hey! These are study aids. They're for novelty purposes only. If a few bad apples use them for cheating, I can't be held responsible.
    Lisa: Forget it, I'd rather get a zero.
    Groundskeeper Willy (with hand down toilet): Good fer you lass, I got me a zero once and ma' life turned out just fine. Och, woa-ho, that's a nasty clog. Ooooo ye've got yourself a partner have ye?
    Lisa (to Nelson): Keep the change.
    Groundskeeper Willy: Come here ye slippery rascals!

    :ack:

    I almost don't blame Lisa here. ALMOST.
     
  15. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    Bart: Aww, cheer up, Lis'. You got a good grade without even reading the book. That's win-win!
    Lisa: Can't you see the difference between earning something honestly and getting it by fraud?
    Bart: Hmm, I suppose, maybe, if, uh ... no. No, sorry, I thought I had it there for a second.
     
  16. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Marge: Maybe we should split up.
    Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
    Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
    Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
    Marge: I was talking about--
    Homer: Oh, please take me back! (sobbing) The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
    Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
    Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
    Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
    Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! (runs off screaming)
    Marge: (grumbles)
    Homer: (offscreen) Hey, this maze is made of corn.

    Smithers: Now pair off as I draw your names. Lenny and... Carl.
    Carl: Aw nuts! I mean, um... Aw nuts.

    Louise Belcher is right. There ARE exceptions to the honesty policy.

    Marge: Lisa, can't you let your brother back on the team? Fly balls and fungoes come and go, but family is forever.
    Homer: Sorry Marge, I got to call bullcrap on that. The '69 Mets will live on forever, but do you think anyone cares about Ron Swoboda's wife and kids? Not me, and, I assume, not Ron Swoboda!
    Marge: What about Bart's feelings?
    Homer: Boys don't have feelings. They have muscles.
    Marge: Why do you say such ridiculous things?
    Homer: They sound good in my brain, then my tongue makes not the words sound very good, formally.
     
  17. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    Principal Skinner: Well, maybe it was for the best. Now I finally have time to do what I've always wanted - write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park, where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it Billy and the Cloneasaurus.
    Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, Sir! First, you think of an idea that has already been done. And then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... [minutes pass] ...it was on the best-seller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover has... [yet another few minutes pass] ...POPULAR MOVIES OF ALL TIME, SIR! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!? [pauses, then calms down] I mean thank you, come again.

    Yes, Skinner. What WERE you thinking?
     
  18. SB20xx

    SB20xx Oooooh!
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    Homer vs. Patty and Selma

    Bart: Behold, the masked dancer is me, Bart! (removes mask) It is I who have won your acclaim.
    Jimbo: Bart's does ballet!
    Kearney: He dances like girls!
    Bart: Go ahead and laugh. I took a chance and did what I wanted to do. And if that makes me a sissy, well, then, I guess I'm a sissy.
    Jimbo: He's a sissy! Let's rush him!

    ^ LOL. Where are the teachers?!
     
  19. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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    I just had to include this quote from "Angry Dad: The Movie":

    Homer: Don't worry, son. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.
     
  20. ShadowBlinky

    ShadowBlinky Never A Good Bot

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