Great "Simpsons" Quotes

Discussion in 'The toonzone - General Animation Discussion' started by rizwan787, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. rizwan787

    rizwan787 New Member

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    So a recent Simpson's thread got me thinking about some of the funniest, randomest, whackiest lines that have been uttered on the Simpsons over the years. It's one of my favorite shows, and I thought it would be fun. I'll get the ball rolling.

    Marge: Don't come any closer! I've got *jimmies! *throws them*
    Ice Cream Guy: *gets them in his eye* Ah! I can only see a horrible rainbow!

    *Jimmies are sprinkles, for those of you who don't know.
     
  2. chalmers

    chalmers Role Model

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    Possibly my favorite comes from the fourth season episode "The Front":
    Lisa: "Grandpa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?"
    Grandpa: "I don't know!"

    (BTW, I think this is one of the few times the word "underwear" has been used in favor of "underpants", since Matt Groening considers "underpants" funnier.)

    Another on I recently was thinking about is this one from "Cape Feare":
    Chief Wiggum: "Sideshow Bob has no decency! He called me 'Chief Piggum!'"
    (Laughter)
    Chief Wiggum: "Oh wait, I get it, he's all right."
     
  3. rizwan787

    rizwan787 New Member

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    *Knock at door*
    Homer: "Who is it?"
    Guys outside: "Goons."
    Homer: "Who?"
    Guys outside: "Hired goons."
    Homer: "Hired goons?"
    *answers the door, goons grab him*
     
  4. CrazyChase

    CrazyChase isn't crazy, just confused

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    A underrated one...

    "Coming up next on Wings! Ah, who cares..."

    It's all in the delivery guys.
     
  5. Monterey Jack

    Monterey Jack New Member

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    Not to be an anal grammar hound, but it should be "Simpsons quotes", not "Simpson's Quotes".

    Anyways...

    "Kids, you both tried your best tonight, and you failed miserably! The lesson is: Never try."
     
  6. Lonestarr

    Lonestarr Stop eating my sesame cake! Moderator

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    "To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat!"
     
  7. Shawn Hopkins

    Shawn Hopkins TZ Member of the Year 2013

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    I like this one from Treehouse of Horror VI:

    Homer: "Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?"

    Marge: "Sometimes..."

    It's just hilarious how she says it.
     
  8. DarthGonzo

    DarthGonzo Ten Years on TZ!

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    I loved it when Homer made that hilarious pun about "police chewtality"! Oh, and remember that episode where everyone was saying "lega-he" and "lega-she"? Man, I just love those quotes.

    Oh wait. No I don't.

    Here's a classic:

    Homer: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
    Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
    Homer: (pause) I don't know.
     
  9. CyberCubed

    CyberCubed Active Member

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    Homer: Who would have thought that Darth Vader would turn out to be Luke Skywalker's father?

    Moviegoer: Thanks a lot, Mr. Ruin the picture for me!
     
  10. Desensitized

    Desensitized Old School!

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    Marge: So I see you drive on the left up here.
    Tour guide: No ma'am. I'm drunk.

    I'm not sure why, but the delivery always gets me on that one.

    Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?
    Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs uncontrollably)... So to answer your question, I don't know.

    The best description of muppets I've ever seen.

    (Doorbell rings)
    Homer: Hello?
    Goons: Goons.
    Homer: Who?
    Goons: Hired goons.
    Homer: Hired goons?
    (Homer answers the door and gets kidnapped)
    *later*
    Burns: I can't be held responsible for what my goons are hired to do.
    Homer: Hired goons?

    The insanity is too well played.
     
  11. Jave

    Jave Beware of the SPLAT Moderator Reporter

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    "Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead!"
     
  12. rizwan787

    rizwan787 New Member

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    Look at the title. That's not how I wrote it. I wrote it the way you said. Good job.

    Bart gets stuck on a roller coaster and Selma asks a man dressed up as a beer named Surly for help.
    Surly: "Hey, Surly only looks out for one person: Surly."
    Selma: : "Oh, sorry Surly."
    Surly: "Shut up."
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2009
  13. Dr. Daedalus

    Dr. Daedalus I presume. Moderator Reporter

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    All my quotes are taken from "Lemon of Troy", the most underrated episode ever.

    "Hey, everybody, an old man's talking!"

    "Class, please! If you don't learn roman numerals, you'll never know the date certain motion pictures were copyrighted."

    "What is it, boy? Is there something behind that wall we should beat up?"

    "Homer! Come quick! Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!"

    "And the kid with the backpack said "radical". -I- say "radical". That's my thing that I say! I feel like I'm going to explode here!"

    "Now, Marge, you can't blame all of Bart's problems on your one little speech. If anything turned him bad, it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear. AND, let's not forget your little speech!"

    "This is Country Time lemonade mix. There's never been anything close to a lemon in it, I swear!"

    Milhouse: "What are they saying?
    Bart: I'm not sure.
    Milhouse: I thought you said you could read lips.
    Bart: I assumed I could."

    "We're going up to the bluffs to paint "Springfield sucks" in huge letters. That way, whenever they look into Shelbyville, they will realize that they suck."

    "Rocky II + Rocky V equals... Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge!"

    "I'm never going to find that tree. This whole raid was as useless as that yellow lemon-shaped rock over there. Wait a minute- there's a lemon behind that rock!"

    "I don't care what excuse you've got. Nothing's going to stop me in the middle of this speech. You're gonna- LEMON TREE?!"

    "Faster, son! He's got a taste for meat now!"

    "Eat my shorts!"
    "Yes, eat ALL of our shirts."
     
  14. Desensitized

    Desensitized Old School!

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    "There's a doin's a transpirin'!"

    Lemon Of Troy is one of my favorite episodes ever. I constantly say 'there's a lemon behind that rock!" when the saying is apt... Which is a lot more often than you'd think.
     
  15. Monterey Jack

    Monterey Jack New Member

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    What really makes that line work is seeing Rod (Todd?) take a step backwards while Milhouse is seething. :p

    I also like the following exchange.

    "Is this the end of Milhouse...?"

    "But...that's my name!"

    "I thought I was the only one."

    "A pain I know all too well."

    "So this is what it feels like...when doves cry!" [sobbing]
     
  16. DarthGonzo

    DarthGonzo Ten Years on TZ!

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    I'm practically in hysterics here. The classic seasons has so many amazingly funny lines. Nowadays the dialog is either painfully delivered or isn't very well written in the first place.

    Here are a couple from "Bart's Girlfriend", both taken from the snpp.com episode capsule.

    Homer: I can't believe my little boy is already going on his first
    date.
    [sings] Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...
    Cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...
    Yes, we have no bananas...[weeps]
    Marge: Oh, that's sweet Homer. Our son _is_ growing up, isn't he.
    Homer: No, it's not that. Didn't you hear? They have no bananas!
    They have no bananas today...[walks off crying]

    Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
    Homer: New glasses?
    Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
    Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
    Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
    I'd be afraid of smothering him.
    Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
    Marge: That's not what I meant.
    Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

    The best part about that second quote is that Homer says all of his lines with absolutely no emotion in his voice and with a wall-eyed look on his face.
     
  17. CrazyChase

    CrazyChase isn't crazy, just confused

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    "It's a yeti and one of the Banana Splits!"

    Even one of the clipshows ("The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular") had some great lines (quotes from SNPP)...

    "Troy: Professor Lawrence Pierce of the University of Chicago writes, 'I think Homer gets stupider every year.' That's not a question, Professor, but we'll let the viewers judge for themselves."

    "Troy: Dr. Linus Irving of the Sloan-Ketterling Memorial Institute writes, "How does Matt Groening find the time to write and draw an entire`Simpsons' episode every week?" For the answer to this, we went straight to the source.
    Matt:
    Get out of my office!"

    "Announcer: Which popular 'Simpsons' characters have died in the past year? If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Dr. Marvin Monroe, you are wrong: they were never popular."

    "Troy: Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable. I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came here to see: hardcore nudity!"
     
  18. JasonFox

    JasonFox The Maniacal Movie Critic

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    (Home being tooken away by Queens british guards)

    Homer: Our Beatles are way better than your Rolling Stones!
     
  19. rizwan787

    rizwan787 New Member

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    Homer has driven Moe's car into the ocean while trying to commit insurance fraud but fails and get thrown in jail. Homer's in his cell when Police Chief Wiggum comes along.

    Wiggum: "Get up Simpson. You're going to the chair."
    Homer: *gasps*
    Wiggum: The interrogation chair.
    Homer: *whew*
    Wiggum: "Plug it in boys!"
    Homer: *gasps*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2009
  20. CyberCubed

    CyberCubed Active Member

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    Marge: I spend 23 hours a day in this house, you can't hide anything from me!
     

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