1. We are looking for a volunteer to help out with entering the DC and Marvel comics solicitations. If you are interested, please contact Harley.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Just in time for Halloween, enter for a chance to win a $50 Gift Card from FUN.com! Details here.
    Dismiss Notice

Teen Titans Fan Fiction Dwyr Budr (Teen Titans) (Feedback positively encouraged!)

Discussion in 'The Story Board' started by Matt A, Oct 16, 2004.

  1. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    5,596
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi, this is my first attempt at writing a Teen Titans story. It could be quite interesting, seeing as I've only ever seen one episode of the show ("Date With Destiny", to be exact), but I happened to have fallen in love with it enough to want to write something about it. I've tried to read pretty much everything Teen Titans related on this form and the World's Finest site in general, so I hope I know enough to be getting on with, but if I happen to get any facts wrong, mixed-up or just plain contradicted then please let me know. Either way, have a read of the prologue and tell me what you think.

    (Note: I offer my humble apologies to whoever wrote the story about Raven & Luke, as it may seem like I've nicked their idea, but it's genuinely pure coincidence!)

    (Other Note: There's a small game being played here with the name of the story and the chapters. Whoever figures it out first may have to get some sort of prize...)

    Anyway, without further ado, I offer you the start of my (hopefully) epic work, Dwyr Budr...



    Prologue: Forever

    It’s a wonderful day. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the cooling breeze is just cooling enough to be effective without being annoying. The mountains might be in summer rather than in snow, but the view over the Mediterranean plains is still jaw dropping, and the church on top of the highest mountain is the kind of small white brick building that is pretty enough to complement the view rather than compete with it. The church and the grounds surrounding it are a little on the run-down side, but in the strange way that is unique to this region this only adds to the prettiness. Anyway, the current visitor to this little-known monument wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Watch her drive up the narrow, rocky mountain track in her open-top rented Porsche, sending stones flying in the kind of devil-may-care manner that suggests that she’s actually got a lot on her mind. Watch her pull up the church, careful not to let any dust get kicked up onto its pretty façade. Watch her get out of the car, sporting the straw hat, silk scarf and satin summer dress typical of any wannabe Continental touriste. Watch her ditch the hat and scarf on the back seat and put on a purple cloak that she’s taken out of the boot with an almost disturbing reverence. Watch her walk round the side of the church into the overgrown cemetery, stopping at a modest gravestone overlooking the valley. Watch her clean the gravestone and the area around it with a lover’s caress. Watch her sit down on the grass, facing the gravestone, and take a pack of cards out her pocket. Watch her play a card game so utterly incomprehensible that she had to have been taught it at some point long ago.

    Pilgrimage isn’t quite the right word, but it’s the first one that springs to mind.

    This middle-aged woman finishes playing her card game, and places the pack on a spot of grass in front of the gravestone, a spot of grass that has a few bits of soggy cardboard lying on it, one piece looking remarkably like a red diamond. This woman then does something that she doesn’t tend to do often: in fact, she only ever seems to do it when she comes here each year. It may seem like a strange thing to do, but, when considering the circumstances, it’s actually quite fitting.

    She cries her poor little heart out.
     
  2. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,918
    Likes Received:
    0
  3. Crowgirl

    Crowgirl Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2004
    Messages:
    2,884
    Likes Received:
    0
  4. oneeyemonkeypie

    oneeyemonkeypie D_S needs a hobby...

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    0
    hey, this is confusing!
    and thats my story.
    so seeing as how this is like what i writed, lemee guess whats going on

    DONT READ THIS IT MIGHT SPOIL THE SURPRISE!!!


    ok, so the girl isn't raven, right? it is the future and she is at raven's grave. Raven was her mother, and you will go into the past and tell us of how raven met some guy and had a kid.


    Did I get it? even if thats it, it is a good story. and well written.
     
  5. Adrastea

    Adrastea ooooh shiny!!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2004
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    0
    Y'know, even if SOMEONE ruined the story, i'd still like to read the rest of it, sounds good.

    plus, every time i read your signature, I will smile. I liked that movie a lot.
     
  6. oneeyemonkeypie

    oneeyemonkeypie D_S needs a hobby...

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    0
    ya, funny. Plus i loved these lyrics. I remember half the first chorus, do you know it?

    its like
    queen and country safe and sound
    with villains 6 feet underground
    and no-one knows cause no-one's found
    (forget this line)
    so watch out for a
    man of all seasons...and then it's like the other one.
    WHATS THAT LINE?!?! ARGGGH!

    anyways, I like this. For some reason, I have no objetion to any TT relationships, except that I dislike the R/S one. Hmm.
    WRTIE MORE!
     
  7. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    5,596
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thankyou, your reactions were much better than I expected!

    Sorry to dissapoint you, onemonkeypie, but the girl visiting the grave IS actually supposed to be Raven (albeit more grown-up and "moderate", if you see what I mean). The story that I'm going to tell you the relationship between her and the man in the grave, and exactly how things got to the stage that you just saw. Anyway, the symbolic wearing of the purple cloak was to show that, even though Raven has long since left the Titans, she's prepared to go back to it for the sake of the man she loved. I'm also amazed to see that no one commented on the cards, but in case you were wondering what that was all about then you'll find out in due course...

    I only realised this morning that I'm much further behind on my college work than I thought, so I probably won't be able to post anything new today. Even so, I'll try and get the next chapter to you as soon as I can.

    In the meantime, I'll see if I can get Welshie to write anything more!
     
  8. moro loci

    moro loci SHEPHERDS PIE!!!!!!!!!

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2004
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dude, your story so far is kool. write more, i'm enjoyin this. :D
     
  9. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    5,596
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dudes, you're in luck! It turns out that the work I needed to do today can't actually be done today since I don't the information that I need. So I decided to write the next chapter instead.

    It proably isn't the greatest thing that I've ever written, as the mechanics of the plot meant that there was quite a lot that needed to be explained and described very quickly. As a result, my usual carefully cultivated descriptions have fallen by the wayside a little bit, but hopefully what I have written is good enough to please you all. If not, then feel free to berate me endlessly until I comed out with something more to your tastes.

    Either way, have a butchers and tell me if it passes muster.



    Chapter One: Shadows

    Slowly, almost imperceptibly, one eye opened. One it had taken stock of its surroundings and sent the necessary messages to the brain that owned it, the other eye instantly snapped open. With both eyes working fully, the brain could tell exactly what was going on, and thankfully the world was as normal. Raven got out of bed with her usual lack of flourish, showered, dressed and then went to the lounge to get some breakfast.

    It was about an hour or so before the others would even consider getting up, so everything in the Tower was nice and quiet, with no one to disturb the comforting silence. Raven poured herself a cup of coffee and sat by the window, watching the sun rise over Jump City. The view was as wonderful as it always was, but she couldn’t help wondering yet again why Jump City was so called: it was a pretty strange name to use, but, then again, at least it wasn’t called Nether Wallop or anything like that. Anyway, no one else seemed to know either, so there wasn’t much point in wondering.

    Suddenly, the crime detection alarm went off, filling the lounge with bright red light. Raven swore, angry that her plans for a relaxing day off had just been ruined, but before she could compose herself the other Titans burst in. Considering that the alarm had woken them up, they all looked remarkably awake. Once they were all sat down, details of the current criminal incident appeared on the TV screen: it was an armed robbery at one of the major banks in Downtown.

    Robin laughed. “A bank robbery?”

    Cyborg laughed too. “Yep.”

    You mean that someone’s stupid enough to try that? I thought we’d made sure that petty crooks were too scared to operate here?"

    Cyborg’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Unless it’s Slade…”

    “No, that’s not his style. Even Slade wouldn’t try something so basic as this. I think we are actually dealing with a proper bunch of idiots here.”

    Starfire suddenly piped up. “Are we not forgetting something here?"

    Robin looked at her. “Forgetting what?”

    “This robbery should be stopped, whoever is behind it.”

    “Um, good point. Lets go.”

    Ten minutes later, the Titans arrived at the scene. The bank in question, the First International, faced a large square, and that square was currently swarming with cops and cop cars, all looking rather unsure of what to do. Robin strode up to the commander.

    “Right, what’s going on and how can we help?”

    However, before the commander could answer a body flew through the front door of the bank and rolled down the steps, only coming to a stop when it one of the cop cars. The body was clearly a deceased one.

    The commander’s face darkened. “That was one of the hostages.”

    “Hostages?”

    “Yes. There’s about ten men in the bank, holding fifteen staff and customers at gunpoint. We were in the process of trying to open negotiations, but I don’t think that a robber who kills a hostage within the first half hour of a siege can be negotiated with. But, seeing as you’re now here, I think that you can try sort this mess out.”

    Robin thought quickly. “Okay, order your men out of the area.”

    “What?!"

    “Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but I know what I’m doing.”

    The commander bristled, but he knew better than to tell the Teen Titans where to shove it. “Alright. I’ll do it, but I want it to go on record that I don’t like it.”


    It was about twelve hours later. Night had only just descended over Jump City, and the square was now only occupied by the five Titans. Nothing had been seen or heard from the robbers since the cops had left, but it still took them nearly half a day to pluck up the courage to leave the bank.

    A truck drove into the square at high speed, stopping quickly right at the bottom of the steps. The ten masked, armed men came out of the front door in single file, each one of them holding a hostage, and they walked down the steps towards the truck. The robbers climbed into the back, making sure that the hostages came with them and that the Titans were aware of this.

    However, they weren’t worried. As the truck drove off, Raven conjured up ten small balls of black energy, flinging them at high speed into the engine and the wheels. The truck stopped forever just at the edge of the square, only to be swarmed over by the many cops who had been hiding out of sight. The hostages were taken to hospital for checkups, and the robbers were taken to the station for booking.

    All except one, though. One masked man was still standing in the entrance to the bank, with the crossed arms and tapping foot that are indicative of someone’s impatience. The Titans pulled closer together, ready for the fight that was inevitably to come. However, something unexpected happened.

    Five blinding flashes of light and five deafening bangs came from the direction of the man. Thankfully, however surprised the Titans were, they were still alert enough to dodge the five bullets that smacked into the ground, spraying flakes of stone all over the shop. Seeing that he had missed, the man ran round the side of the bank and down a side street, the Titans in hot pursuit.

    However, the chase didn’t last long. The street ended after five hundred metres in a small square, the kind of space that it is simply an empty area between various buildings. As a result, the only exit was the side street that they had just run down, and so there was no choice for the man to but fight his way past the Titans. The five of them slowly surrounded him, ready to give him a quick and easy pummelling.

    Years later, when asked about the ensuing fight, the only thing that any of the Titans could remember was the man’s speed. Whenever any of them made a move, he would instantly be there to counter it and fling them into a wall. If two or more of them attacked at once, he would somehow be able to turn the tables on all of them in an instant. Any projectiles that were sent his way, be they Starfire’s green bolts, Cyborg’s sonic cannon or whatever else they could shoot/throw, would be dodged so effortlessly that might as well have been shot in the opposite direction. Even when Beast Boy did his turning-into-a-fifty-foot-tall-dinosaur trick, the man simply dodged his huge blows and returned the favour with a punch that put him through a building.

    Finally, after spending what felt like a lifetime being hammered by a masked man who wasn’t even breaking into a sweat, Robin managed to get a hit in. The man fell disturbingly easily, but by that point Robin was too angry to care: he simply forced the man onto his back and knelt on his chest. However, before Robin could start interrogating him, the man headbutted him and left him sprawling on the ground. The other Titans ran over from wherever they had been thrown to earlier and helped Robin onto his feet.

    It was at that point that they noticed something strange: even though the square had been blocked off by fallen rubble, and so making sure that there was no possible way of leaving it, the man had still managed to vanish into thin air.
     
  10. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,918
    Likes Received:
    0
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
     
  11. moro loci

    moro loci SHEPHERDS PIE!!!!!!!!!

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2004
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    oooo oooo ooooo ooooo, keep goin :anime:
     
  12. oneeyemonkeypie

    oneeyemonkeypie D_S needs a hobby...

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    0
    hmm, I never though Raven would need to rent a car.
     
  13. Rae

    Rae Insert amusing comment

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    1
  14. starburn1116

    starburn1116 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    0
    that was really really good
     
  15. Adrastea

    Adrastea ooooh shiny!!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2004
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    0
    HM, i definatly like it.
    One question though (and this isn't something just in this fic, it's everywhere), when the Titans are chasing a villain, if raven can enclose people in her dark energy forcefields, why doesn't she immomilize them from running in one?
    I've always wondered that....
     
  16. oneeyemonkeypie

    oneeyemonkeypie D_S needs a hobby...

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    0
    see, now I'm upset, for 2 reasons.
    !. you broke up the titans. Why? Why does author do that when they want to get someone's attention?
    2. No matter what happens, we know this story has a depressing ending, cause Raven will be interested in someone and he will die.

    I like it so far, but I have to ask. Are we guaranteed a sad ending (breakup of titans and death of guy) or might you twist it around into a happy tale? Raven gets enough sad stuff as it is.
     
  17. Matt A

    Matt A Smile. Or Else.

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    5,596
    Likes Received:
    0
    Again, that reaction was much better than I had been expecting, so thankyou all very, very much! I'll try and get the next chapter to you as soon as I can, maybe within the next day or two.


    I'd also like to take the time to reassure onemonkeypie on a few points:

    1. I'm not trying to "break up" the Titans, and nor is it my intention to ever do so. The primary unwritten rule of all cartoon series is that each episode ends with the heroes and villains in exactly the same state as they were at the beginning, and to mess with that rule would be morally unacceptable. So, don't worry about that, the Teen Titans are perfectly safe in my hands...I hope.
    2. Yes, I can pretty much guarantee that this story will have a sad ending, but it will be sad in a very cathartic, uplifting kind of way (watch Kill Bill vol. 2 if you aren't sure exactly what I'm talking about). Besides, the whole tragic nature of Raven's character (i.e. being happy will result in people possibly getting killed) means that misery tends to stick to her like feathers and tar to a drunk man.


    If those two points particularly spoilt the plot for you, then I apologise, but I felt that it was important to resolve those two problems before they actually become problems (if you see what I mean).


    Oh, and one more thing. I've been reading various other threads on here, and, well, don't take this personally rrarbecy, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't put your political views across here, thank you very much. I don't particularly want to see a man as obviously corrupt, incompetent and dangerous as Bush being championed by anyone, let alone one of us.


    In the meantime, feel free to talk amongst yourselves until I get the next chapter written and posted. See y'all later!
     
  18. oneeyemonkeypie

    oneeyemonkeypie D_S needs a hobby...

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    746
    Likes Received:
    0
    OOoo. *distant chanting*
    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT...

    j/k.

    OK, the titans are together. good. I'm still bummed that this story is gonna have a sad ending. I mean, I know they can be well done and all (like cowboy bebop), but the titans just dont seem like a sad ending kinda show.
    And you're right, misery tends to stick to Raven, which is why I try to put her in happy situations whenever I can.
    Oh well, your fic. Keep going!
     
  19. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,918
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thems fightin' words buddy. You have no idea what I'm capable of. :evil:
    (I am of course talking about Welshi's Mate)
     
  20. rrarbecy

    rrarbecy I'm Back!

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,918
    Likes Received:
    0
    AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
    Come on people. Give me a break. Please!
    I thought we agreed not to talk about this.
     

Share This Page

  • Find Toonzone on Facebook

  • Toonzone News

  • Site Updates

    Upcoming Premieres

  • Toonzone Fan Sites


Tac Anti Spam from Surrey Forum