http://www.toonzone.net/forums/platypus-comix/203180-christmas-tales-2007-a.html http://www.toonzone.net/forums/platypus-comix/222182-christmas-tales-2008-a.html http://www.toonzone.net/forums/platypus-comix/262002-christmas-tales-2009-a.html http://www.toonzone.net/forums/platypus-comix/276906-christmas-tales-2010-a.html http://www.toonzone.net/forums/platypus-comix/290475-christmas-tales-2011-a.html And now for something completely different. My oldest cousin got remarried and they now own an AWESOME house, with an AWESOME yard. Whenever I go there I eat AWESOME food, and this year's Christmas dinner did not disappoint, with some killer prime rib and BAKED potatoes. I've never had that option for a holiday dinner -- potatoes have always come mashed. Normally my parents and aunts and uncles and cousins get together either at our house or the uncle's, but this time? Christmas just had to be here. Playing in the background throughout much of the festivities was this holiday mix one of her husband's friends made and copied for him. This included a lot of foreign tracks, one Enya, a song by Foghorn Leghorn, the entirety of Dean Martin's holiday efforts, something country called "Rudolph's DUI," and several tracks from the Brady Bunch Christmas Album. I didn't know that last one existed either. How is it? It's...generic. The Brady kids are singing Frosty and Rudolph, but I don't fully believe it's the real actors. You could have told me it was the Full House Christmas Album, or a Kidz Bop that came out in the 70's, and I would have believed you. There was one track they skipped entirely labeled "Disneyland," apparently it was just that bad. Someone got a spider ornament. A spider. Ornament. There's a market for that. Spiders don't invoke feelings of Christmas in me, and I don't think I'm alone, but the manufacturers gave it their best shot. There was a card attached with a story called "The Legend of the Christmas Spider." I can't remember all the details, but I think there was a little boy, and a lot of spiders, and then Santa Claus appeared and turned all the web silk into gold, and....yeah. Earlier this year my mom shocked me by saying she'd never seen A Christmas Story. I could have sworn she said she'd seen it when the topic came up before, but she probably just got the title confused with another movie (because that's just like her). The moment she said that I knew what she had to get for Christmas, and I wrapped it in a paper sack cut-out with FRA-GEE-LAY markered on the front. I knew the opportunity I'd be given. Sure enough, she turned to me and said "FRA-GEE-LAY, what is that?" "It's French," I told her back. No laugh from her; she accepted that. Hah. It turned out, when we watched the movie later, I'd gotten the quote wrong and the dad said FRA-GEE-LAY was Italian, but it was great to introduce somebody to all the classic moments in this movie for the first time and watch their reactions. As for what I got this year, there's no picture because it wasn't much. My parents are going through financial problems and they're usually the only ones who get me anything for Christmas. I have been feeling very lonely lately, however, and that AWESOME dinner in that AWESOME house with my extended family was just the present I needed. I would have paid for that. Oh, and someone said this: "Last night I saw The Hobbit before I watched The Sound of Music on TV. I couldn't sleep because all I could see were orcs singing The Hills Are Alive." Now you tell your experiences. Go!