Cancer

Discussion in 'Cafe toonzone' started by The Huntsman, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. The Huntsman

    The Huntsman Friend of Toon Zone

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    About a month ago, my father became constipated. A week later, when all of the medicines failed and he started to experience a lot of pain, he went to the hospital. They kept him in there for a few days but released him, and with the help of some digestive enzyme medicine, he was able to use the restroom. Unfortunately, he just called me today and said that the doctors got the result of one of his latest tests, and it's not good. Pancreatic cancer.

    I've lived a lucky life to this point. 26 years old and I haven't gone through a tragedy. I've had distance relatives who have fallen ill and died, but they weren't anybody I knew personally - not even my grandmother. She didn't really stay in touch. But this... well, there's no avoiding this. My luck has run out. Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst types. Well, it's all bad, but the survival rates for it are particularly dreadful. I've been ill-equipped for life for a while now, sort of just drifting, but things like this are a rude awakening.

    Does anybody else here have a relative who has cancer? I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but maybe having a thread to talk to people will help.
     
  2. Peter Paltridge

    Peter Paltridge Steven Sword!

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    It doesn't run in my family, but it's come close for a couple people. On my stepdad's side, my aunt died of it a few years ago.

    You definitely aren't alone. Cancer is so darned common that everybody in the world (at least it seems like) either has it or knows somebody who has it. And when you hear about an old celebrity who just died, what is always the cause? It's always some form of cancer. Are we all doomed to get it? Is it inevitable?
     
  3. The Huntsman

    The Huntsman Friend of Toon Zone

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    Not helping. :shrug:
     
  4. Ed Liu

    Ed Liu Grumpy Gorilla

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    I am so very, very sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. The only hope I can offer is that my sister-in-law's father got that same diagnosis a little while ago, but it turned out to be a false alarm and he's fine now. I am hoping the same will turn out to be true for your father.

    My mother passed away from stomach cancer almost exactly 1 year ago, and you're right -- it's not something I'd wish on anyone. She beat the odds because the prognosis for her type of cancer when they found it was 6 months to a year and she made it for a little more than 3 years. Long enough to still be able to hold her grandchildren and have them call her by name and remember who she was when we show them photos, and long enough to put most of her affairs in order before she went. And long enough for me to tell her all those things that I'm pretty sure she knew already, but I told her anyway because saying those things matters.

    I will tell you that I did not handle her diagnosis terribly well for a long time, and it's never easy to confront the imminent loss of a loved one. The odds are not good, but you can't play the odds with cancer because there's so much about it that people don't understand. You will have to learn to take what you get and roll with the unexpected, and there will be a lot of the unexpected. I don't know what other advice I can really offer other than to say that you have a limited amount of time (and, if the diagnosis of pancreatic is accurate, that limit is hard and very short). Don't waste it. If the diagnosis is accurate, then everything you are about to experience is going to be hard enough without you standing around afterwards regretting and saying, "If only I had..." when its too late. And that grief and sadness during the run-up is natural and it wasn't until I lived through it myself that I finally understood that Buddhist philosophies of detachment don't mean that you don't feel things any more, but that you can feel them, embrace them, and then let them go.

    Still, hoping for the best.
     
  5. Shawn Hopkins

    Shawn Hopkins TZ Member of the Year 2013

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    All I can say, Huntsman, is that I am really sorry to hear about this and I hope that it's a false alarm or that if it is not your father is able to beat it. My best friend is a survivor of testicular cancer. It can be really tough, but you can't give up.
     
  6. GWOtaku

    GWOtaku Moderator

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    Offering all best wishes & hopes for your dad. I had a scare with this for awhile when my Mom had an early stage of breast cancer. They were able to catch it, do some surgery, put her on these meds for awhile, and of course she still gets checkups...some time later it hasn't come back so far, which is good. For some people it gets beaten and stays gone, sometimes it's stubborn it seems.

    Treatment is a lot better than it used to be when it comes to fighting this and preserving someone's life...I don't know what else to say except to reiterate I'll hope & pray for the best.
     
  7. Gold Guy

    Gold Guy This ain't Pokemon!

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    Huntsman, I'm so sorry. :(

    M mom had breast cancer. Luckily, she got better. My sister is worried that she'll get it, though.
     
  8. Light Lucario

    Light Lucario Moderator

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis, Huntsman. I really hope that it's either a false alarm or that they'll be able to treat it so that he'll be okay. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family as you deal through this situation.

    Both of my dogs had a form of cancer and while that is different from dealing with a person you're close to who has it, I think that the grief and pain of learning that they have it is probably very similar. I still remember when my first dog was diagnosed with cancer and how shattered I was inside and out. I don't know any person who has cancer though. I think that most of my grandparents had some form of cancer, except for my grandmother on my Mom's side who had Alzheimer's, but all of that happened either before I was born or I was just an infant. It is a difficult situation to go through and I hope that you and your family will be okay.
     
  9. Neo Yi

    Neo Yi :D

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    My grandmother recently had lung cancer about two years back. My dad told me after the surgery a couple days later. She's alive and well, the doctor said she was lucky. I definitely get how you feel, Huntsman. I've never had anyone close to me die to feel that kind of loss and tragedy. It's an entirely new concept that I'm still terrified of feeling. I haven't seen grandma in eighteen years due to lack of money to fly over to visit her, but when I heard about this, it was like someone punched me in the guts and kicked me off a cliff. This is a woman who took me in and raised me in Korea during most of my toddler years because my parents could not at the time. I owe my life to her and she's someone I hold in high respect.

    I really, really hope for the best, Huntsman. I'm so sorry this had to happen.
     
  10. Jave

    Jave Beware of the SPLAT

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    I'm really sorry to hear about that, Huntsman. A year and a half ago my Mother nearly died of a stroke, but she managed to survive after several months of surgery, hospitals and tons of medication. The doctors said the odds were against her, with 30-40% chance of survival and even lower for her to survive without sequels, but she made it. If it happened to my Mom, it can happen to your Dad. Never lose hope.

    Be there for your Father and support your family. There will be tough times, and you will all need each other, but as I said, never lose hope. I, for one, hope for the best for your Father and for those close to him.
     
  11. Dudley

    Dudley Moderator

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    When she was working overseas, my mom called me to tell me she had breast cancer. She ended up having to move back to the States, which in a way was great because for the first time in over a year, the whole family was back together. Through surgery and chemotherapy, she was cured.
    I hope your father recovers, Huntsman. And that your family stays strong and together through this difficult time.
     
  12. Jacob

    Jacob Moderator

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    Breast cancer is pretty common in my family, my aunts on both sides had it. I still remember when I was five or six, the phone call my dad received that his sister had been diagnosed. I know that crushing, sinking feeling that you must be having, Huntsman. One of my aunts recovered; unfortunately, the other passed away. I'm sorry about the bad news but just try to hope for the best. Supporting your father and being optimistic when you're with him (even if you're really not) is the best thing you can do. You've got a lot of people and resources on your side, trying to cure cancer. Hopefully during my lifetime there finally will be....
     
  13. sun

    sun You stay, I go

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    What do you do when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer?

    What you do is you show up, as best as you can. About a year ago, my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer spread to the brain. What I did is show up and try to be there for her. Watching a loved one die is well, awful. And I loved her very deeply... So, I tried to be there as much as I could be for the ordeal...
    ...In one hopital, out for a while, in again.......to a nursing home.....
    I watched her slowly let go. Yes, they treated her, with chemo and radiation..it did not work...
    But I tried to be there for as many events as I could be, although I was recovering from very serious illness too. Rather than stay a long time, say several hours at something, I would recommend that you visit more times... Say, visiting and being there 3 times, instead of one long time. But, if you cannot be there every day, be there as most as you can. There is no easy way to get thru, and you are the one that you live with as far as visits and time are concerned. Someone said to me...why were you not with her more???????
    But I knew I really did the best that I could do. The most that I could do...and when I went to visit, I tried to at least be kind and not overwhelmed with what is/was happening. I told her I loved her and she knew. I knew that I did the best..given me....and who I am/ and was at the time. So, if you do indeed show up as best as you can, and if the person does die...then, you can feel ok with the process.
    The amount of time at any one visit..I don't think matters much...it is the quality of the careing at that one visit. You stay a half an hour, or an hour..that is up to you...the person who is sick knows..if they are aware..................it you love him, he will know by your actions....maybe bring something important...special to the room he is recovering..like a picture or some momento..that may be ok...at least it was ok with my girlfriend..
    .....She was diagnosed on March 12 and died July 31, 2012 ....4 and a half months later....I wish you the very best and hope that he survives...
    Sun.....
     
  14. Spaceman

    Spaceman I Am Here

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    One of my great-uncles has battled colon cancer for nearly two years. He's been very brave and persistent, but unfortunately it's gotten to an advanced level. We've been told to expect his death at any moment.

    My thoughts go with Huntsman and everyone else here with affected relatives.
     
  15. ndb

    ndb New Member

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    My dad is a 4 time colon cancer survivor. In the past 7 years, they've believed it was dead 3 times and now they know that they can contain it. He has little colon left and uses a colostomy bag. This summer, he'll go under knife to remove the rest of his colon, hopefully permanently removing any threat. The second time his surgery had complications and nearly killed him. Facts are, he should be dead.

    So yeah, cancer's real, it's scary as heck and I know what you are going through. I'm a Christian, so I don't know if you have that assurance, but it's what helped me and my family during those dark days.

    Btw, at the present time, he's fine the cancer is in remission. But like I said, they want to be sure they get it once and for all.

    Praying for those or your loved ones who are still dealing with cancer.
     
  16. The Old Maid

    The Old Maid Voice in the wilderness

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    Cancer's rough. There are so many kinds, but they have some things in common, such as the feelings.

    Your dad might do best at a hospital attached to a good university becase they sometimes get research projects/money/specialists. Or maybe a specialized hospital like the Cancer Treatment Center of America, which does pancreatic among others.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2013
  17. The Huntsman

    The Huntsman Friend of Toon Zone

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    Since my father is a veteran, all of his tests go through the VA. They only just now brought him in for more the additional tests that were scheduled. I wasn't happy about that, but now this second round of testing has indicated that he might not have cancer after all. They're going to do more tests in about a week, but hopefully that holds true. I'm not going to think we're out of the woods yet, though, as I'd prefer to wait and see what the next test says before I let my guard down.
     
  18. Jave

    Jave Beware of the SPLAT

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    I understand your stance of wanting to be cautious, but as I said on my previous post, never lose hope, Huntsman. Take these events as a ray of hope.
     
  19. The Huntsman

    The Huntsman Friend of Toon Zone

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    They just got the results of the samples they took and they say he's 100% cancer free. They did find a cyst on his pancreas, which they said could become cancerous, but they're going to try to keep that under control. Thanks to all of you for your support during these trying times, and hopefully this thread can help other people in the future.
     
  20. Light Lucario

    Light Lucario Moderator

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    That's wonderful news. I'm so that that your father is cancer free.
     

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