Clash of the Cartoon Stars: Garfield Vs. Bucky Katt

[Brandon Pierce]

BUGS: Heelloo, cartoon fans! You are watching Clash of the Cartoon Stars! The animated ESPN TV show that does to cartoon weaklings what horseback riding did to Christopher Reeves. And tonight my co-host is Lyman! Mickey forgot he had a date with Minnie, and had to rush out, and our sound technisioner Lyman is filling in. For those who don't know who he is, he used to be in the Garfield comic strip.

LYMAN: Yep. And speaking of Garfield, he is one of the challengerrs!

BUGS: Before we start the game, Lyman why don't you tell the kind folks about how you got out of the Garfield stip.

LYMAN: Oh, righty-then. What happened was--

[Lyman gets cut off by static, it fills the screen blocking out the picture and sound for 10 seconds. Finally the screen and sound come back on]

Lyman: And that's what happened to me in the Garfield strip.

BUGS: Interesting, Doc! Now let's go to the challangers. First we have Garfield, who recently beat up Heathcliff. Now he's up against a cartoon cat who's only been with us for 4 years. He's from the comic strip Get Fuzzy. Can Garfield take down this new cat on the block? We'll have to wait and see.

Lyman: Are the challengers ready?

Garfield: Hey, that siamese will get sent back to Siam!

[audience stops cheering, all is silent]

Garfield: THAILAND you dopes!

[audience cheers, Bucky enters the ring]

Bucky: You know, I don't know WHY this meat head decided to show up. I'm skinnier, more agile, smarter, I could whip this guy before he even knows what'll hit him.... err... wait.... that didn't come out right....

[Garfield body slams Bucky]

BUGS: Holy ox! Garfield SLAMMED Bucky!

[rimshot]

Lyman: And before the bell even went off! I give him 40 points!

Bugs: Ehh... make it 80.

Lyman: So it's 80 points for Garfield and 0 for Bucky.

BUCKY: WHAT?! You can't do that! That's cheating! I demand a redo!

Bugs: Doc! We're cartoons! We can do anything!

BUCKY: Oh, yeah! Come down here and say that to my face! I aint afraid of you, Beaver face!

Buigs: Okaaaay...

Bucky: What're you? chicken?! Bok! Boc-ah! Bawk!

[garfield body slams bucky again]

Lyman: Ohhh.... I heard something snap!

Bugs: 120 points for Garfield. Bucky: Big, fat zero!

Garfield: Boy, this is like taking candy away from Odie!

Bucky: You're only trying to make Garfield win cause today's his birthday!

AUDIENCE: GO GARFIELD! GO GARFIELD! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Bucky: That's not funny!

Bugs: Well, Bucky seems to be having an episode. A rare episode.

[rimshot]

Lyman: We'll go to commercial. BRB!

[Brandon Pierce]

[Don Wilson appears on stage in the form of a mouse]

Don: If you're feeling mighty lucky, bugs bunny-ish and Daffy ducky, and tawt you taw a putty tat. There's just one thing to do for that.

[commercial abrubtly ends]

Bugs: Back to the show! See in the cartoon world, we have the power to cut off commercials. And you human beins don't! HA!

Lyman: So far bucky has no points, Garfield has 25,000.

Bucky: waitaminute! You said it was 120!

Lyman: Just kidding!

Bucky (to himself): I hope these steroids that Satchel gave me will help. (swallows steroids, turns into a cat version of the incredible hulk, beats up Garfield).

Bugs: Bucky has been caught taking steroids. Not allowed! Minus 35 pints!

Bucky: But, you said cartoons can do any--

Bugs: I know that! Tell me something I don't know!

Bucky: Your stepmother was a Nazi!

Bugs: Ohh... that hurt.

Lyman: Because Bucky cheated, Garfield gets 150 points. Now 10 seconds left on the clock can Bucky catch up in that amount of time? Starting now?

Bucky: Oh, what's the point?

[10 seconds go by]

Garfield: You COULD have done SOMETHING!

Bucky: Huh?

Garfield I was standing right here behind you doing nothing, and you could have punched my lights out!

Bugs: Minus 500 points from Bucky for not doing anything. 200,000 points to Garfield for letting Bucky have a chance to hit him.

Bucky: But...

Lyman: The winner and still champion, GARFIELD THE CAT!

Bugs: Happy 25th Garfield!

Bucky: But....

[The Dork Knight]

Good job! Best one yet!

- The Dork Knight (Version 1)

[Pietro]

I just read it now, excellent job Brandon!

Bucky deserves it.

-Pietro