Termite Terrace Episode 4

[Brandon Pierce]

[CN Satellite, Jon is updating is webpage]

Jon: Oh, hello, welcome. I'm Jon Cooke. [gotlucky64 enters]
Gotlucky64: Hello. Jon, you're cool.
Jon: Thanks. [Sveven enters]
Sveven: Nice day we're having. I like the sunshine. The birds are chirping, and Jon's here to make the day brighter.
Jon: You guys are probably wandering what's up with these two? Well, I've installed protocol modules in all my shipmates, it makes them all nice, peaceful, and less violent.
Sveven: I don't wanna cream anyone, I find plum funny how everyone used to bamboozle me off that balcony. [sveven runs off-stage, you hear the audio of sveven throwing himself of a balcony]
Jon: That's one for Ripley's. [Kiddiesunshine enters]
Kiddiesunshine: Jon, you're like my best friend.
Jon: You know I'm having second thoughts about this.
Gotlucky64: Oh, Jon! We'd take away every bit of hesitation about this project.
Kiddiesunshine: Not that we'd take issues away from anything you think. [thad enters]
Thad: Jon, could you fix my Jeri Ryan statue. I trust you to help me. You're my best friend.
Jon: I'm really having second thoughts about this.
Thad: Don't worry, my Jeri Ryan statue can wait.
Gotlucky64: Oh, you like Jeri Ryan, too? Even though she's gotta big nose and dangerously skinny torso.
Thad: Ahhh... but, beauty is only skin deep.
Kiddiesunshine: Right you are. Hey, let's give Jon a BIG HUG!!!
Jon: Yeah, I'm gonna remove those modules. [thad takes a gun out]
Thad: Oh, just take this gun and shoot me. [Gotlucky64 takes a knife out]
Gotlucky64: Do your best imitation of a butcher! [kiddiesunshine takes a slingshot out]
Kiddiesunshine: Now, where's my rock collection.
Jon: We'll be right back.

[Commercials]

[After Commercials, Jon is removing the modules from everyone]
Sveven: Don't touch me don't ever, EVER touch me!
Thad: This is painful! Jon, how are you gonna persue your dream of being a doctor?!
Kiddiesunshine: Jon, I lent a video game last week and you never returned it, I don't trust you anymore!
Gotlucky64: Geez, what's that smell? [smells jon's arm] Man, Jon, did some small animal crawl inside your jumpsuit and die?!
Jon: There's the shipmates I know, and love [button flashes]. Oh, Babbit and Catstello are callin'.

[CN Labs]
Turner: Oh, hello, Greg Brady. My invention this week is called the Scanner Planner (hold up a scanner planner magazine). It's all about gripping the mind of a weaker soul and make their head explode. Now, who could that weaker soul be... [herb enters with a lollipop]
Scannell: Hello, Captain Planet, howya doin'? [turner tries to make scannell's head explode, but the lamp is in the way and the lamp blows up]
Turner: Huh?
Scannell: Hey, you were scanning me wern't you? You tried to make my head explode you freaked out moron! [he bobs turner on the head with his lollipop]
Turner: This could take awhile, back up to you guys. [grabs scannel and tries to scan him again]

{CN Satellite]
Jon: Sirs, when will you realize that when you kill each other, you're only hurting yourself. Anyway, my invention is called the Cartooner. Have you ever noticed that funnies just aren't funny anymore.
Brandon: Yeah, like Get Fuzzy, Heathcliff, Peanuts...
Jon: The Cartooner takes stupid idiotic cartoons like Blondie, mixes iot together with Mark Trail, put 'em in the cartooner. And, it makes them funny. [brandon takes a comic strip out of the machine]
Brandon: Okay, here's Dagwood and he's eating a sandwich filled with sligs, twigs, and bear plop. [jon laughs]
Jon: Okay, here's the Lockhorns, and Cathy. [brandon takes a srtip out of the machine]
Brandon: Hey! Mrs. Lockhorn accidently crashed her car into a shopping mall where Cathy was trying on a swimsuit! [jon laughs]
Jon: Oh, my ribs....

[CN Labs, turner is choking the life out of scannell]
Turner: Oh, a, well, it's time for the cartoons, so uhh... [tries to use his brain to send the movie]

{CN Satellite, jon's head explodes]
Brandon: Woah! You made Jon's head explode. [alarm goes off] Woah, and we got LT Sign. (camera fades out and Hare Trigger fades in]

{After Cartoon]
Thad: Hey, why ARE they called Cowboys?
Brandon: Because they round up cows, Silly.
Thad: Hey, I think the next cartoons starting. {Life With Tom fades in]

{After Cartoon, Commercial]

{After Commercial]
Sogturtle: Okay, I'm gonna trie and sing Under the Sea, before LT Sign goes off.
Sveven: Good luck. {alarm goes off}
Sogturtle: Ahhh... wouldn't you know it... {Patient Porky fades in}

{After Cartoon}
Jon: Well, the episode's ending. Time to say bye.
Everyone: See ya!
Sveven: Don't come back now you hear! {every one looks at him} What?

{CN Labs, Scannell's appears with no head}
Turner: Wow! I made Scannell's head explode! Well, reminde me to snap on a new on, Jon! Until next time... {he uses the scanner planner to shut off the camera, credits begin}

[The Dork Knight]

*Raises eyebrow*
Who's Jeri Ryan?