Men in Black The Coronary Syndrome

[ChandaK562]

Zed surpressed a groan as his office door came open and Lyndon came storming in waving a stack of papers. "What is it this time, Lyndon?" he grumbled as he reached for his bottle of asprin with one hand, automatically flipping the lid off with a thumb and shaking two of the white tablets out, making a mental note as he swallowed them to have Klah'Mikk pick up yet another bottle from supplies. It seemed like he was going through the things like crazy lately.
"The way your agents handled the Ranzbad situation is completely unexceptable, Zed!' Lyndon exclaimed as he threw the papers onto the desk. "Let me tell you that there's a whole lot of bad feelings building up in the alien community over this! Your agents didn't announce themselves before making the arrest, excessive force...."
"The Ranzbad has a rap sheet a mile long and he was about to eat the cashier at a Burger King! Should they have given him the time to finish his meal while they properly introduced themselves? And as for the excessive force, he was resisting arrest and I have two agents down in the medical lab with the broken bones to prove it!" Zed shook his head as he yelled, noting with a resigned feeling that those chest pains he seemed to have whenever Lyndon dropped in were back. Felt like they had brought friends too, like an elephant was suddenly sitting on his chest.
"Be that as it may," Lyndon grumbled. Seeing he wasn't going to get anywhere with Zed on the Ranzbad issue, he moved on to another complaint. "And there's still the problem of the lack of alien field agents."
"We have X. You sent us X. Wasn't he supposed to take care of that issue?" Zed muttered as he dropped back into his chair fumbling for the asprin again. The pains had never been that bad before! What had Klah'Mikk done the last time he got asprin, bought the regular kind instead of extra strength? 'And why was it so cold in there all of a sudden?' he thought as he shivered slightly, 'The worms better not be messing with the air again.'
Zed's gropping for the asprin bottle was suddenly interupted by a
shooting pain down his arm. Against his will, he let out a cry of pain, the bottle slipping out of his fingers as he reached up, grabbing at his chest. He suddenly found himself falling to the floor, the sound of Lyndon's voice mercifully ceasing as the world went black.
"Well, the nerve of some people!" Lyndon grumbled as he looked down at Zed lying on the floor, a thin sheen of sweat coating his face, his skin an ashen grey with a bluish tinge around his lips. Well, if Zed thought this show of bad manners was going to make Lyndon leave, he had another thing comming! He would stay right there until he made every point he had to make!

[ChandaK562]

Jay stalked down the corridor after U,still unable to believe exactly how insufferable the uptight agent could be. Kay had been tied up all day with talks with some alien race Jay couldn't even pronounce, forcing him to partner with U. After a few hours together neither could stand the other anymore and had both snapped, storming of for Zed's office to file complaints. As they entered the office, they both started yelling at once, ignoring Lyndon who was also off on a tirade.
"Zed, Agent Jay is a disgrace to that suit and I...."
"Me, a disgrace to the suit? Zed, this stick in the..."
"At least I'm not a...."
"He tried to make me...."
"He has the intelligence of an Artirpid slug and...."
Suddenly Jay noticed something and stopped yelling. "Um, Lyndon, where's Zed?" They had assumed that since Lyndon was yelling, Zed was in there but now that Jay was actually paying attention, he realized that the head of the MIB was nowhere in sight. Jay shook his head wondering if his boss had finally had enough and fled through the air vents. "Like Zed would fit through the air vents," Jay muttered under his breath struggling to surpress a chuckle.
"Sir?" U said as he approached Zed's desk. "SIR!!!!"
"What's.... oh, no!" Jay cried as he saw what had freaked U, Zed lying on the floor behind his desk, his face a sickly gray color, his lips dark blue and his hand clutching at his chest.
"Lyndon, how long's he been like this?" Jay demanded as he dropped to the ground by his boss, slipping into autopilot as he recalled his first aid training with the NYPD. 'No breathing,' he thought as he straightened Zed out a bit, tilting his head back and putting an ear by his nose and mouth for a moment before pinching his nose shut and blowing rapidly into his mouth twice. 'Heart attack! It had to be a heart attack.'
"U, go get help!" Jay demanded as he felt for a pulse only to find nothing once more. He quickly jerked Zed's shirt open, his fingers moving down to the right position as fast as possible before he started chest compressions. As he worked, he looked up to find U standing there still, a look of shock on his face as he hyperventilated. "U, HELP!! GET HELP!!! GO FIND KAY AND ELLE!! FAST!!"
Finally Jay's screaming seemed to get through to the other agent and he fled out the door, Jay could only pray to actually get help instead of to have a nervous breakdown. "Just hang on, Zed," Jay muttered as he continued the cycle of breaths and then more compressions. "Help's on the way."

[ChandaK562]

'Get help. Get help,' U thought as he ran frantically through the
hallways searching for Kay and Elle. He tried hard not to think about his last sight of Zed laying there on his office floor with his face that grey color and.... Panic washed over U as he recalled at and he started to scream. "Zed's DEAD!! ZED'S DEAD!!!!" He fled oblivious to the stares that everyone was giving down the hall, his mind now on automatic, only recalling the last thing he was told, to find Elle and Kay. Why did it seem like these halls were endless? Where could Elle and Kay be?
Where Kay and Elle were was in the kitchenette, Kay drinking coffee after a hard session of negotiations with the Fowiehriwoehft and Elle awaiting her partner who was trying to convince the agent in charge of vehicle maintence not to mention that rather large dent in the SUV's hood to Zed in his next report. "Fat chance of that happening. That guy's almost as uptight as U," Elle muttered. And hadn't she warned X to watch where he was tossing that suspect?
Just then she and Kay heard a loud commotion in the hallway and jumped from their chairs to see what in the world was going on. "U?" Elle asked as she looked up in concern as the straightlaced agent stumbled into the kitchenette gasping for breath. Was he the one who had been making all of the noise? That wasn't like U at all, especially since that much commotion surely violated more than a dozen rules.
"ZED'S DEAD!!" U cried when he saw the pair he was looking for before collapsing to the floor in a heap, his energy totally spent and the shock of what he had seen finally hitting full force.
"U?" Elle said as she dropped down beside him, slipping into doctor mood as she gently touched his shoulder. It looked like the poor man had had a breakdown, something that wasn't totally unexpected. "Um, Kay, I think you better call Zealtor and have him bring a gurney down here." Time to lag U off to the MIB mental ward.
"Help," U mumbled. "Got to get help. Zed's...." Suddenly tears begin to pour down his face. "Oh, my.... Zed's dead and I just left and...." He tried to get to his feet again but Elle gently held him down. "We have to help him!!"
"U, settle down," Kay told him sternly. He didn't know what in the world the younger man was talking about. If something was wrong with Zed, the entire organization would have been alerted by now.
"He's dead, sir," U stammered through his tears. "Agent Jay and I went into his office and he was just laying there on the floor and...."
"And you can just tell Zed that I plan to lodge an official protest about his terrible attitude! Turning blue!" Lyndon called as he stalked down the hall. he had finally given up on talking to Zed and had decided to go home for the rest of the day. On his way out, though, he decided to hunt down Kay to complain. "Worst form of manners and don't think I'm going to let him get away with treating me like that!"
"Turning blue?" Elle murmured as she looked at Kay for a moment before they both raced for the door and took off for Zed's office, knocking Lyndon down as they ran out. It looked like U hadn't lost his mind after all!

[ChandaK562]

Jay's shoulders were burning and his chest was aching as he pressed rapidly down on Zed's chest for what felt like the millionth time. It had already been ten minutes and where was U with that help? He had heard something snap in Zed's chest after a couple of compressions and after that, it was slightly easier to work but he was still exhausted and knew he couldn't keep going much longer without some help.
"Come on, Zed," he quietly murmured as he forced himself to keep going. "You don't want to leave now. Still to much scum out there in the universal that needs dealing with."
Just then he heard the door fly open and looked up to see Elle and Kay, their eyes wide at the sight of him doing CPR on their boss.
"Here, Slick. Let us take over," Kay said as he dropped down on Zed's other side, rapidly checking for a pulse and breathing before looking up at Elle. "We need Zealtor down here now!" He quickly gave Zed two more breaths and then started the compressions. Kay felt an aching in his own chest as he pushed down, looking into Zed's ashen pain distorted features. he shut his eyes for a second, forcing his mind to go almost blank as he worked, the life of his oldest friend in his hands and rapidly slipping away.
"I know. Jay, how long's he been like this?" Elle asked as she pulled out her communicator.
"At least ten minutes. That's when U and I found him," Jay said as he tried to catch his breath. "Elle, you can fix this, right? He's going to be okay, isn't he?"
"We'll do everything we can, Jay," Elle murmured, not even wanting to think about how heavily things were stacked and not in Zed's favor. Just then Zealtor appeared on the communicator. "Zealtor, get up to Zed's office now! He's had a heart attack or something, it looks like. Bring everything but the kitchen sink! We're going to need it!"
"Here, let me help," Elle murmured to Kay as she knelt down next to Jay and took over the mouth-to-mouth portion of the CPR. Maybe it would be enough to buy some time until Zealtor could get there with the supplies to do more.

******

"Hey!" X called stopping an agent who was running through the hallway. He had finally convenced the agent in charge of the vehicles not to file a report on that dent and had gone to find Elle but she wasn't where he left her and everyone was running around the building like crazy. "What's going on?"
"Zed. Something in Zed's office!" the other agent cried before pulling out of X's grasp and fleeing down the hallway to who knows where.
"Zed's office? Wonder who's in trouble this time?" X grumbled as he headed to what was apparently the center of the commotion figuring that was where Elle had wandered off to.
When he got there, the area around Zed's office was jammed with agents blocking his view. X debated shoving through the hoard, demanding his alienly rights to be at the front of anything interesting as he stood to his toes to see if he could see over all of the little creatures. Suddenly, X saw something that caused him to gasp and back away. He collapsed back against the wall in shock, unable to believe what he had seen. Zed was laying blue on the floor and there Elle was.... His little human was kissing his boss!
X jumped when he heard a beeping noise. As he answered, his shock was beginning to fade and be replaced by anger. Who did Zed think he was, trying to steal Elle?
"Mom?" he asked as his mother appeared in the communicator.
"You naughty boy!" Zoe exclaimed as she glared at her son. "And why haven't you written me?"
"Mom, I can't talk right now!" X said, getting madder the more he
thought about what he had seen. "I've got to go and beat up someone! I
don't care if he's my boss! He can't just steal my human and think he can get away with it!"
"X, what are you talking about?" Zoe asked. "Are you talking about Zed?" She had seen the man the last time she had visited her son and he seemed very nice.
"Yes, Zed! He's laying there on the floor in his office all blue and my human's kissing him!! I'm going to beat him up! Who does he think he is stealing her?!"
Zoe let out a gasp of shock at her son's words. She had done a little reading on humans and she knew that blue wasn't a good color at all! "Son, don't you lay one finger on that human! I'm going to get a shuttle now! I'll be there as soon as I can!"
"Please don't let him die," Zoe whispered as she cut off the
communications signal and raced to through a few things into a bag. Tears pouring down her face. Zed couldn't die. He just couldn't!