MOVIE MAYHEM (Tentative Title)
This story contains references to hot summer movies. It is not for those who have no sense of humor (so it's definetly not for me then).
(Scene; The Warner Bros studio building. Inside that spawn of Satan himself, Jaime Kellner, is holding a meeting with Mr. Plotz to discuss upcoming WB movies).
Kellner: I love how things are going Plotz, this year we'll release both Scooby-Doo and then the Powerpuff Girls movie. That should blow anything Disney, or any of our other competitors can make, out of the water.
Plotz: Indeed sir, they don't stand a chance.
Kellner: True, but we shouldn't celebrate yet, after all there is still one problem that could ruin the summer season for us.
PlotzConfused) There is sir, is it Spider-Man? Or that new Tom Clancy film?
Kellner: No, no they're no competition for the demographic that we're trying to lure in. No I'm talking about someone that has caused problems for all of our last projects.
Plotz: (Scared) Oh no, you don't mean...?
Kellner: Yes, the Warners (he gazes at the Water Tower) Everytime we make some type of attempt to make a profit those wacky kids ruin it.
Plotz: And you're sure they'll do something to ruin our movies?
Kellner: Oh yes, they couldn't resist a chance to damage the Powerpuff Girls reputation.
Plotz: What can we do. no security can keep them out.
Kellner: I thought of that, and I have a solution, one that should keep those kids out of our hair.
Plotz: (Excitedly) OOh are we going to send them to Siberia! Or maybe a zoo, they'd be so good in a zoo...
Kellner: Shut up! My plan is to give those kids what they've always wanted.
Plotz: Mel Gibson's autograph?
Kellner: No I believe that's just Dot. I mean the one thing they've always wanted more than anything.
Plotz: A pizza the size of a house? A new show for Don Knotts? The chance to beat up Pikachu?
Kellner: (Angrily) No! I mean a theatrical film! (dum dum dum!)(lightning flashes in the background).
Plotz: (Dumbfounded) Y-y-y-you can't be serious sir, those Warners aren't ready for a theatrical film, they're insane.
Kellner: I know, but it won't be a movie starring them.
Kellner: We'll be giving them a film, but it'll be live action like Scooby -Doo . You see the reason the public supports them is because a small majority are still fans of thiers. But when the public sees this terrible film, they'll be so disgusted they'll turn on them like Pauly Shore, and those dumb kids will never be able to show thier faces again. Then we can do what we please, without worrying about them trying to stop us. Just look at Josie and the Pussycats if you don't believe me
Plotz: (Happily) Very good sir, (thinks) but wait what will we do about the Warners, will they be computer animated?
Kellner: No, we used up all of our computer animation working on our blockbuster films. We'll just use young actors in suits, they'll work just as good. Now we'll begin casting as soon as possible, but we need to dispose of the Warners until we can get everything ready.
Plotz: But how? Those crazy kids, are always hanging around the lot, doing all sorts of crazy stuff. They'll be sure to find out about this plan sooner or later and then they'll do something bad to us. (Nervously) Maybe they'll hit us with an anvil or put us in diapers, or they'll do that terrible "two-places-at-once" gag, I hate that thing!. But I can guarantee you they'll take thier revenge, why the only way they couldn't find out about this is if they were somehow out of the city but that would...
Kellner: Plotz, that's it!
PlotzSurprised) It is? What is it?
Kellner: Get them out of the city yes, that could work. (To Plotz) Go and send someone to visit the Warners, tell them we're sending them on an all-expenses paid trip to Acapulco.
Plotz: I don't think that will work sir, we've never treated them nice before, I'm sure they'll suspect we're up to something. Besides what if they ring up a huge bill?
Kellner: Just tell them that we've finally decided to pay them back for all of the mean things we've done to them over the years and we hope they will accept our apology. After all they are part of the Warner Bros. company so they should buy that. And don't worry about the bill, we'll make enough money from our two summer blockbusters to cover any expense.
Plotz: Well I guess that could work, but can we make a movie in the time that they're gone?
Kellner: No, but by the time they get back we'll have all the casting done and can begin shooting. Besides we own the rights to Animaniacs so we can do what we like with the show. Now we'll have to get a script written, I'll get my best Pokemon writers on the job, as well as some guys who worked on Waynehead , Brats of the Lost Nebula , and a nut I found rooting around in the dumpster. Now send Ralph to go extend our (finger quoting) "apolgies".
Plotz: Yes sir (he exits)
Kellner: (singing to the tune of "Animaniacs") They call them Animaniacs, and we gave them the axe, but they keep coming back, and annoy us with stupid cracks, so we'll make their movie whack! Man that is a stupid song, oh well singing never was my strong suit. (grinning sinisterly) I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of those little brats when they find out that they're going to Acapulco (laughs).
(Meanwhile, at inside the Warner Tower, Yakko, Wakko and Dot are relaxing, watching TV)
Yakko: Yup. I know what your all thinking! Axel Foley is going to pop up on the TV! Well, your wrong! He's appearing later in this fanfic.
(A commerical for the new Scooby-Doo movie comes on)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dot: I think that's enough TV for one day.
(Dot turns off the TV)
Wakko: Now what do we do?
Dot: Nothing, I guess.....
Yakko: Wait sibs! Look at the script! Jaime Keller is on his way to visit us!
Wakko: That's great! He can be our new special friend!
Dot: Look! There he is!
(They all look out the window and see him walking towards the tower)
Yakko: Hey, up here!
(Jaime looks up and sees an empty Warner Tower)
(The Warners pop up in front of him)
Yakko and Wakko: We're the Warner brothers!
Dot: And the Warner sister!
Kellner: How did you do that?
Dot: Oh, COME ON! EVERYBODY knows that old gag!
Yakko: So, you wanted to see us about something?
TO BE CONTINUED..................................
Last edited by Pietro; 06-03-2002 at 02:49 PM.
Oh, goody...I haven't done this in a while...
Kellner: Well, we, as the people running this studio, have decided to extend an olive branch towards you for all the stuff we've dumped on you through the years. Seriously, you guys rocked our world for 6 years, and toyed with it for an additional 3, but that's kosher. It's you, you're the Warners. So, we have decided to give you a special trip out to Acapulco.
Yakko: The deuce, you say?
Wakko: Excellent! I hear the women look especially wonderful this time of year...
Dot: Brothers...can't live with them, don't have a show without them.
Yakko: Dot, you know you like the guys as well.
Dot: I hate having my bluffs called.
Kellner: You'll love Acapulco, though! You leave in 48 hours!
(And speaking of 48 hours, it wouldn't be a fanfic without...)
Axel Foley: (Sitting in his office, going through legal work) When do we get that dirt-eater Osama? (Bleep) "Where's Waldo?"...where's Bin Laden? Might as well grab a dart and aim it at the map...
(Axel's phone rings)
Axel: Hello, Representative Foley speaking...
Yakko: Tell me a story!
Axel: (Bleep) you!
Yakko: I like that story.
Axel: How's it going, Yakko, and where are we headed this time?
Yakko: WE are off to Acapulco...bad news, though! You can't come...
Axel: Oh, really? (While he sounds, he's making fist-pumping gestures)
Yakko: Yeah...it says we can invite no other people to the fair land of sun, surf and sultry sirens.
Axel: Ooh...tough (bleep) for me! Well, let me know what happened when you get back.
Yakko: Okay! Bye, foul-mouth!
Axel: Later, wacky whatever!
(Axel hangs up the phone)
Axel: A tint of doubt colors my mind...nah, must be those hot dogs I ate earlier.
(We fade to Acapulco, when who should we see but...)
Mikey: You know...this utility villain work bites!
Sheryl: Yeah, but it's paying the rent and your new Testarossa.
Mikey: So, we're here to welcome the Warners, and to make fake apologies?
Sheryl: That's it, Mikey...You think they'll accept it? They tend to be good at seeing through disguises. They've got senses past six...I'd say a good 15 at least.
Mikey: Hey, don't compliment them now...you'll use up your enthusiasm.
Sheryl: Alright...Order up 2 Long Island Iced Teas.
Mikey: Good, I could use a stiff drink.
Sheryl: Who said anything about you? I think I'll need to be drunk to do this right.
(PICK UP HERE)
Meanwhile, at the Warner Tower........
Yakko: If we're going to go to Acapulco, we gotta pack!
Dot: Yeah, but what?
Yakko: Everything, of course! Wakko, your gag bag, please!
(Wakko pulls ut his gag bag, looking for something to pack the entire Warner Tower in,
while doing this he finds Buster and Babs Bunny)
Buster: I'm Buster Bunny!
Babs: I'm Babs Bunny!
Buster and Babs: No relation!
Dot (to the camera): Speilburg really enjoys the frequent cameos.
(Then Wakko pulls Bugs Bunny out of his gag bag)
Bugs: Eh, What's up doc?
Yakko: Uhhhh....I dunno. I think we could do without the frequent cameos.
(Yakko and Dot nod in agreement. Then, Wakko pulls a suitcase out of his bag)
Yakko: Okay, sibs! Let's pack!
(Yakko grabs a vaccum and sucks up EVERYTHING in site and then puts it all in the suitcase)
Dot: Now what?
Wakko: I know!
(Wakko pulls a soda out of his bag)
Wakko: A toast to our vacation!
(Wakko drinks it)
Yakko: Okay, now we're ready!
Yakko: Wait! We need to take our special friend, Jaime Kellner on our vacation too!
Wakko: That's right! And, I'll call him "Dad-do!"
Dot: Yeah... but remember, it says we can invite no other people to the fair land of sun, surf......
Yakko and Wakko: And sultry sirens! Helllllllllllo Nurse!
Yakko: But still, let's invite old Jaime Boy, just for the heck of it!
(Yakko reaches all the way to Jaime Kellner's office and grabs Kellner and brings him into the Warner Tower)
Yakko: We want YOU to come with us, Jaime Boy! Is it allright if I call you Jaime Boy?
Yakko: Whatever you say, Jaime Boy!
Kellner: Don't call me......
(Suddenly, the phone rings. Wakko picks it up, it's Axel)
Axel: Hey you (Bleep)! How come I wasn't invited to your (Bleep) vacation and that other (Bleep) guy was!?
Wakko: Because he's our new special friend! Now, can you tell me another story?
Axel: No, (Bleep), you!
Wakko: That was a very funny story! Tell it again! Hello........Hello.....Hello? He hung up!
Yakko: Oh well! So, anyway, Jaime Boy........
Kellner (Shouting): Stop calling me that!
Yakko: No need to shout Jaime Boy!
Kellner: Stop it! Stop it!
Dot: Quite pouting! Or else, you won't go with us to the fair land of sun, surf......
Yakko and Wakko: And sultry sirens! Helllllllllllo Nurse!
(Dot sighs. Then, Dot sees Tom Crusie out the window)
Dot: Helllllllllllo Nurse!
(The Warners jump in Kellner's lap)
Yakko: So, Jaime Boy, read any good books lately?
Wakko: Can we call you "Dad-do?"
All right A couple of people have signed on for this. Let's turn this mother out.
Kellner: (thinking) Hmm those blasted puppy brats want me to go with them to Acapulco, probably so they can keep me from causing any problems here. Okay I might as well go, I can promote another guy to handle things. (out loud) Okay kids I'll come with you.
Wakko: Yeah our old heartless boss is now our special friend!
Yakko: Let's get the beach ball
(the Warners walk off, Kellner quickly grabs his cellphone and dials)
Kellner: Hello Plotz, look there's been a change of plans. Yeah those kids want me to come with them, and I have to to get them out of here. Don't worry, just begin production, and hire Mr. Director to get things rolling. (Loud noises from the other end) Yes I know he's crazy, but I think that makes things even better. I'll see you in a week.
Wakko: You are you talking to?
Kellner: AAhh! how did you get here?
Wakko: I forgot my towel, who was that on the phone?
Kellner: Uhh my stockbroker.
Wakko: Faboo! (grabs the phone) Buy stocks of Don Knotts videos.
Kellner: Give me that! Now let's go, Acapulco won't enjoy itself.
(Later the crew is at the airport, stuck in security)
Kellner: Lousy security checks, as a network executive I shouldn't have to put up with this.
Yakko: Okay sibs, we need to dump anything that may seem like a weapon.
Wakko: So no mallet then?
Dot: No anvils or explosives?
Wakko: So I should let Daffy Duck out then too?
Yakko: I think that may be best.
(Wakko opens his suitcase, Daffy comes out gasping for air).
Daffy: Haven't you ever heard of airholes you crazy kid? (he stomps off).
Wakko: I like him.
Dot: Ugh this will take forever, It'll be winter in Acapulco before we get there.
Yakko: Quit complaining, at least there are no lab mice, cranky squirrels or profane politicians here.
Wakko: Yeah, I mean they're great friends, but I can't see them going to Acapulco.
pick up here dudes.
"I haven't changed my underwear in 5 weeks"- Thaddeus "Curly" Gamelthorpe.
Yakko: Yeah, I agree. And we have enough cameo appearances allready. Don't you agree Jaime Boy?
Kellner: Stop calling me that!
Wakko: Then can we call you "Dad-do?"
Kellner: No! Don't call me "Jaime Boy" or "Dad-do!"
Dot: Okay, we're sorry.
Kellner: You mean you won't call me "Jaime Boy" or "Dad-do," anymore?
Yakko: No, it means we will even more!
(At this time, Kellner gets really mad)
Dot: Hey! Jaime Boy! How do you make your face red like that?
Yakko: Yeah, how do you do it, Jaime Boy?
Wakko: Tell us, Dad-do!
Kellner: I told you, DON'T call me "Jaime Boy" OR "Dad-do"!
Yakko: OK, sorry.
Kellner: OK, so you're going to stop calling me "Jaime Boy" or "Dad-do", and please, DON'T say "Now we'll call you it even more"!
Wakko: We'll just call you "Jaime Boy" AND "Dad-do"!
Yakko: OK, sibs, let's get a movin'! Come on "Jaime Boy" and "Da-do", let's go!
Kellner: I'm not going....
If evolution happened, then why are there still monkeys?
I interrupt this story to say something to one of the writers...
Pietro, just to let you know...Axel Foley is not an inconsequential character. He's an essential part of our "Animaniacs" fanfic continuity. If you already knew that, I apologize...If not, go to the fanfic archive are do some studying.
John "Captain Caps" Kilduff
I'll come up with something soon.
Capt. Caps, I finally got to do some studying in the WBC fanfic archive. I think I finally have the feel of Axel. Which was something I had trouble with earlier on. Thanks for the suggestion. Now on with the fanfic:
Yakko: Fine. We don't need you anyway! Isn't that right, sibs?
(They turn their bcks to each other for awhile. Then Kellner turns around)
Kellner: PLEASE! CAN I GO?! PLEASE???
Yakko: Uh.....I dunno. What do you think sibs?
(Wakko and Dot nod in agreement)
Yakko: Great! Let's go, Jaime Boy AND Dad-do!
Kellner: But, I.......
(They grab him and toss him in the plane. They take a seat)
Wakko: Isn't this fun, Jaime Boy AND Dad-do?
Kellner: Well, uh.....
Dot: Uh-oh! We gotta tie you nice and tight with your seat buckle!
(Dot ties Kellner's seat buckle REALLY tight)
Yakko: Humm, that's odd sibs. I can't help but feel that something's missing.
Wakko: My potty?
Dot: The Warner Tower?
Yakko: No, no. It's....hummm.....oh yeah ol' Foul Mouth!
Wakko: Axel Foley?
Dot: I thought you said he wasn't coming.
Yakko: Of course he's not sibs, just he's been kinda outta this fanfic. And he IS an essential part of all of our Animaniacs fanfics. Now then, WIPE!
(A wipe brings us to Axel Foley's office)
Axel: It's about (Bleepin') time! I didn't think you'd get here already, you (Bleeps).
(A knock is heard at the door)
Axel: Who the (Bleep) is that?
Voice: Oh, I think you of all people should know Axel
(Back on the plane)
Kellner: I don't feel so good!
Kellner: I never flown like this before!
Yakko: What do you mean, you've never flied before!
(Kellner's face turns green)
Dot: Don't worry Jaime Boy AND Dad-do, Wakko will help you get over your sickness!
(Wakko makes a gookie. Kellner then pulls out a brown paper bag and vomits in it (off-screen, of course))
Yakko: Uhhh....Jaime Boy AND Dad-do, why did you barf on your lunch?
(Kellner looks at the paper bag and it says "Jaime's Lunch" on it)
Kellner (to himself, sinisterly): I want my.........mommy.
(Kellner picks up his cell phone and dials Mr. Plotz's number)
Mr. Plotz: Who is this?
Kellner: This is Jamie Kellner you twit! These blasted puppies, or chickens or whatever they are are driving me (Bleepin') nuts! My plan seems to be going through every second.
Mr. Plotz: Relax. They act nuts all the time. And wash that mouth out, you're starting to sound like Axel Foley.
Kellner: What should I do?
Mr. Plotz: Tell them if they act good you'll treat them to something good.
Kellner: Thanks for the advice, Potz.
(Hangs up phone)
Kellner: Say kids, if you behave you can be the first one to see the next Pokemon movie! I even have free tickets!
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: AHHHHHHH!
Kellner: This is going to be a long flight.
(On the plane in the next seat we see Speedy Gonzales)
Speedy: Ola Warners!
Yakko: Hey look, it's Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in all Mexico!
Speedy: You were expecteng mabye Jaime Kellner?
Kellner: Uh, I'm Jaime.....
(The Warners immediately shut Kellner's mouth)
Dot: Shhh! Don't you know your manners Jaime Boy AND Da-do?
Yakko: So what brings you here?
Speedy: I decided to take a break, I theenk. I wanted to get away from that El Greengo Loco Pussy Gato.
(We see Sylvester in the seat behind reading a newspaper with an evil look in his eyes)
Sylvester: That's what he thinks!
Yakko: Would you like to join us?
Speedy: Ce, senors!
Speedy: And senorettas. I well be glad to come weth you, I theenk!
(Back at Axel's office)
Axel: So it's a deal. I get 50%.
Voice: No, you get 20%.
Axel: WHAT THE (Bleep)?
(Who did Axel make a deal with? What will happen to the Warners? What is Sylvester's scheme? Will Kellner's plan work? Will Kellner barf again? Will Kellner make another crappy Pokemon movie (hopefully not)? Will Kellner ever find his mommy? All this and more later in the fanfic. Somebody please pick up here!)