An MST3K teaser from my final FFN update
I've made my final update at FanFiction.net. The MST3K category is being shutdown, so there's little reason to stay. I'm setting up my own website right now (fingers crossed). So say farewell in one week to:
And say hello to the future site:
Here's a clip from the latest: Mike, Tom, and Crow just read a Digimon story about two evil Digimon who are boyfriends, and are just about to meet them....
MIKE, TOM, and CROW exit the theater. Doors slam as we return to the living quarters. GYPSY raises an alarm.)
GYPSY: Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! (Pause.) I never have anyone to talk to. (Pauses again and waits for MIKE, TOM, and CROW to enter. They do about a minute later.) Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
MIKE: Intruder alert?
GYPSY: Yes, intruder alert! I've been saying that for five minutes! I could have been dismantled and sold for spare parts in the time I waited for you to come so I could tell you, "Intruder alert! Intruder alert!"
MIKE: I'm sorry. We were just tidying up the kitchen....
GYPSY: Don't you want to know about the intruder in our intruder alert?
MIKE: I'm sorry. Yes.
GYPSY: Well, I don't know who or where they are, so we have to ask Pearl.
MIKE: I'm...Pearl, you gettin' this?
(Onscreen: chaos at Castle Forrester. PEARL and OBSERVER are working franticly at their mainframe.)
PEARL: Give us a minute, Nelson. There's an evil Digimon here and another on the Satellite. We're still trying to assess the situation.
OBSERVER: I've already assessed it. He's doomed. I'd be more concerned with us. As near as I can tell, we're under attack by the highly dangerous Myotismon.
PEARL: Him? It's Myotismon, all right, but it's Slacker Myotismon. He's not much of a threat. All he does is watch TV and eat. He's over on the couch, see? I've got Bobo working on him.
(Pan to the couch, where SLACKER MYOTISMON, dressed in flannels, gobbles popcorn. BOBO is trying to get him to leave.)
BOBO: We don't have a remote. It's a very old set.
SLACKER MYOTISMON: That's weak, dude.
BOBO: And we're out of Chee-tos Paws.
SLACKER MYOTISMON: Aw, man!
PEARL: See? Not a problem. Now what's this about Mike's being doomed and such?
OBSERVER: Analysis indicates that Piedmon is aboard the Satellite.
MIKE: Is that all? I thought this was an emergency. Ah, well, back to work.
TOM: But, Mike!
MIKE: The kitchen's not going to clean itself. Besides, Piedmon's a wuss.
CROW: But he's evil and stuff. Mike!
(Offstage: PIEDMON laughs maniacally.)
GYPSY: Oh, no, here he comes! RUUUN!
(PIEDMON enters. The robots run wild. MIKE, unimpressed, folds his arms and stays put.)
PIEDMON: This strange space vehicle is mine! MINE! Ha ha ha! You will all be destroyed!
MIKE: Oh, you are, huh? What are you going to do, balloon animal us to death? Gimme a break.
PIEDMON: Do you mock me? I, Lord Piedmon, greatest of the Dark Masters?
MIKE: Ah, yes, the Dark Masters. That would be the giant sea snake that died in two episodes, the giant robot snake that died in two episodes, and the stupid annoying puppet that did more to defeat the kids than you did?
PIEDMON: Ah...well, anyone can make the others sound stupid. But I, I am the most dangerous of all Digimon!
MIKE: You spent more time strolling to your battle than actually fighting it. Plus your idea of a battle was a magic trick of throwing your hankies at people and turning them into keychains, of all things. Plus you got killed by the littlest kid's Digimon. Plus-
PIEDMON: Um, yes, enough! Now I will destroy you for your impudence! Ah ha ha! Behold, Trump Swords!
(PIEDMON draws his swords and throws them.)
GYPSY: I don't want to die!
CROW: Save us, Mike!
TOM: Do something!
(MIKE ignores the swords, which whirl menacingly around him without touching him.)
MIKE: We saw that episode. We know they're illusions. Try something real.
PIEDMON: Um, yes. I know! I shall destroy you with my Clown Trick! You will all be reduced to keychains! Ha ha ha! Observe, I take my trusty handkerchief and....