[Fade in on KATIE seated cross-legged on the office floor with BRAIN in the palm of her hand and PINKY on her knee, listening to the diminutive megalomaniac speak. A slow smile spreads across her face.]
KATIE: You really want to take me on a trip to Mexico? And you say it'll be good for my nerves?
BRAIN: Yes! Travel broadens one. And it's better than any pill, potion, or palaver for curing your ills. I guarantee once you spend a few days in that luscious old-fahioned Spanish countryside, you'll return home a new girl.
KATIE: And no more kaboom?
BRAIN [reassuring smile]: No more kaboom.
KATIE: When can we leave?
BRAIN: Tomorrow at seven. Meet me out at the front gate.
KATIE: I'll ask my parents if I can go--but I'm sure they'll say yes!
[she leaps to her feet, dropping BRAIN on his rump as she does so, and runs for the door.]
DR. S [entering, looking confused]: Zere vas no vun on za phone. I belieff zum pranskster is pulling a funny one on me.
KATIE: Oh, Doc! I want to thank you for everything! This appointment was the best thing that I ever did for myself. I'm going to go on vay-cay, get a tan, and above all, stop blowing up over every tiny thing! [singing] La cucaracha, la cucaracha, la la la la la la...[voice fades as she exeunts]
DR. S: But ve hardly...zat is, you weren't on za couch fiv min--aw, schkip it. I must be better zan I thought. [grins and looks proud of self]
BRAIN: Well, I've secured my scheme and fed that bumptuous egghead's ego. All is falling into place.
[PINKY leans against a heavy textbook and causes it to fall on top of BRAIN, squashing him.]
PINKY: Oopsie! Poit! Sorry, Brain.
BRAIN [muffled]: Remind me to murder you later.
PINKY: I'll make a note of it.
[Fade out. Fade in to next scene as KATIE and the MICE load an Acme Labs van at the front gate. Background music for this scene is Grofe's Grand Canyon Suite (recall the music used for the "Eat at Joe's" bear in Tex Avery's "Jerky Turkey") as the bags (a lot of them) are loaded into the rear of the vehicle. KATIE stops, unzips a small duffle, and paws through it, faster and faster until she gets frantic.]
KATIE: Grrr! Where is my waterproof sunblock? I know I packed it last night! I can't go in the sun without it!
BRAIN: Calm down, my dear. I'll buy you another bottle.
KATIE: You can't buy this stuff at a store! I mail-order it special from this company I know! I need it! [starts to lose her temper and get red in the face] Otherwise the UV rays'll give me wrinkles! [turns into a wrinkled old crone; BRAIN and PINKY look terrified] My skin is delicate like a lily! I need my sunblock! Auuggghhhh! [her head spins around like Linda Blair's in The Exorcist, and she speaks in tongues. Exorcist-like music is heard, and a Greek chorus vocalizes, "Rectus dominus...rectus dominus...rectus dominus...lactose!"]
BRAIN [petrified, gulps]: Oh...darn.
PINKY [cheerily]: Found it! [holds bottle aloft] You packed it in the pink duffle, not the black one, silly goose! Narf! [giggles]
[A record scritches and the creepy music ends. KATIE is normal and all smiles.]
KATIE: Thanks, Pinky! [climbs into back of van. BRAIN exhales with relief and mops sweat off his sizable brow.]
[Spin cut to the van, interior. BRAIN drives, using his "Mr. Perkins" contraption from "Opportunity Knox"; PINKY is in the passenger's s eat. The back of KATIE's head is just visible over the top of the seats.]
PINKY: Um...Katie's taller, Brain. Why not let her drive us to Mexico?
BRAIN: For the same reason I don't go jump on a trampoline with a bottle of nitroglycerine in my pocket, Pinky. One tense moment, one bit of road rage, and we wind up two charred smears on our nation's highways.
PINKY: Oooooooh, charred smears! Sounds yummy! [licks lips]
[Cut to a live-action map of the western coastal states. A star drawn in pen represents Burbank, California; a second star represents Azucarero, Mexico. A paper cutout of the van on a stick moves slowly from the first to the second star. Background music is an instrumental of "On the Road Again" .]
BRAIN V.O. What did I tell you about drinking all that diet soda in one sitting, children?
KATIE and PINKY V.O.'s: We'd come to regret it.
[Cut to a background of a desert landscape of cliffs and sky, a sumptuous scene that could be lifted out of a Chuck Jones cartoon. KATIE and the MICE stand with their backs to the camera, looking over it from atop a cliff. Background music is the same piece both Stalling and Stone used for scenes with sunrises and morning establishing shots.]
KATIE [whistles appreciatively]: It's gorgeous. [a closeup of her face, with her eyes starry as an anime heroine's] I could live here the rest of my life in perfect bliss.
[As the MICE scheme, the BG music rapidly switches over to Edvard Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King".]
BRAIN: The acoustics of this valley are, by my calculations, optimum to carry the shock waves of Katie's detonation. [points to a green swatch of foliage down in the valley] That is Azucarero... [points to a mound of earth and concrete]...and that is the levee. That [points to a squiggly blue line] is the river. Once Katie goes ka-boom, the levee will break like a cracker and the river will overflow its banks...leaving nary a sugar bean in its wake.
PINKY: Egad, Brain, brilliant! But...no, wait, wait. Won't the poor people of Azoo--Azza--Achoo--that sugar place be wiped out too?
BRAIN: Not if they're smart and climb onto something high when they see the water coming. Now...[points to KATIE] anger her, Pinky!
PINKY: Me? Why me, Brain?
BRAIN: Because I know no one who can frustrate and vex better. Vas, Rosadito! Anger her...now!
[PINKY shrugs resignedly and steps up behind KATIE.]
PINKY: Hey, you there...with the legs! [KATIE turns to look at PINKY, smiling.] Um...your hair...is so...darn blonde!
[KATIE is surprised, then amused. She starts to giggle.]
PINKY: Your mother is...older than you! Your feet...have ten toes each!
[KATIE giggles even harder.]
BRAIN [whispers loudly]: Try harder!
PINKY [perspiring with effort]: Um...all right...here goes...your face...has skin on it, and your eyes are so round and moist!
[KATIE can no longer control herself. She flops on the ground in a laughing fit, her legs and hands thrashing. Unfortunately one of her hands accidentally hits BRAIN and knocks him screaming off the edge of the cliff. He plummets down and bounces off of several protruding ledges. KATIE, who has ceased laughing, and PINKY peer down at their companion worriedly. BRAIN continues his fall, thudding onto a tree branch and sliding through sticker bushes on the cliff slopes, then splashes into the river. The background music is "Way Down Upon the Swanee River", tempo prestissimo. The rapids carry him painfully into several rocks and bash his skull into a low-hanging tree limb before he hurtles shrieking over an immense waterfall. He washes onto the far bank, muddy and drenched and with tattered ears, where in the sky overhead buzzards circle. One decends and pecks BRAIN's forehead hungrily. He sputters and thrashes, startling the bird away with a squawk. He rises unsteadily to his feet.]
BRAIN [dazed voice, glassy eyes, teeth falling out of his mouth]: El elefante es gris y grande! El elepfante es gris y grande! [grunts and faints, falling flat on his face]
[Fade out. Fade in to Acme Labs. Pan into interior. PINKY and KATIE are seated cross-legged on the floor reading teenybopper magazines and eating tortilla chips. The P&B theme plays in the background.]
KATIE: I had a great time today on our road trip, Pinkster. Pity we had to cut it short, what with Brain getting hurt and all.
PINKY. Yeah! [giggles] Zort! He gets hurt a lot, you know. I guess that's the [speaks slowly and precisely, frowning] un-for-seen ram-i-fi-ca-ti-ons of having a dream for taking over the world thingie.
KATIE: Yeah. Goals suck.
[BRAIN enters the room, hobbling on a matchstick crutch. His head is bnadanged, there's a cast on his left foot, and a sling on his right arm. There are lotion-covered cuts and scratches on his face.]
BRAIN [crossly]: Oh, look at this place. It's a sty. Magazines strewn everywhere...chip crumbs ground into the rug...the bathroom a shambles with cosmetics on the sink and water all over the floor. And a proper lady knows how to flush a toilet, you know!
[KATIE is visibly annoyed.]
BRAIN: And there's no toilet paper. Kindly replenish what you use up, child. Not to mention the diet soda cans scattered all over the floor....
PINKY [worriedly]: Uh...Brain...you're being rude to our guest....
BRAIN [continues angrily, ignoring PINKY]: And for the love of all that's good and holy, use a coaster! You've left unsightly rings on our formica tabletops! And don't even get me started on your infantile use of the Bunsen burner....
KATIE: Aackk! You are such a bossy little thing! Don't tell me what to do! You are not my mommy! [The Greek chorus vocalizes again...Rectus dominus! Rectus dominus! Lactose!]
[Cut to exterior of Acme Labs, the roof. A massive explosion blows out the skylight, and the MICE go soaring into the air, then land splat on the sidewalk outside the building. Smoking debris rains down on them. KATIE, calm and all smiles, saunters by.]
KATIE: I had a witchin' time south of the border, Brainy and Pinkster! We oughta do it again next summer! [Exeunts.]
SINGERS V.O.: Her family knows that anytime soon...their little lady Katie goes...[a flaming piece of wood lands a few feet from the mice in cue with the downbeat]...ka-boom!
[The background music segues into an instrumental version of "How Dry I Am" as the MICE struggle to lift their heads.]
BRAIN: Sleep safe in your soil beds, sugar beans...at least until tomorrow night.
PINKY: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?
BRAIN [raises finger into the air and winces as an audible crack is heard]: The same thing we do every night, Pinky...try to take over the world!
SINGERS V.O.: They're dinky...they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
[A cement block with the words THE END carved into it falls with a thud on PINKY and BRAIN. Iris out.]