Popeye and Shorty in "Fish Anglin' Ahoy!" - a chainlink story

[Pietro]

I thought it'd be fun to make a Popeye chainlink story so,

"Fish Anglin' Ahoy"
(Opens on Popeye reading a newspaper. He finds an article that states that fishing season is open.)

Popeye: "Fishin' Season's open taday, so git all yer fishin' supplies an' start fishin'!" Oh boy! Fishin'!

(Popeye dashes to the closet and starts searching for fishing supplies. Then we fade to Popeye walking down the street with a fishing hat and a fishing rod. Shorty is also walking down the road and starts following Popeye. Then, Shorty quickly dashes behind a tree when Popeye turns around.)

Popeye (to himself): Humm, I coulda sworn some smebody was followin' me.

(Popeye continues walking and Shorty follows. Again, Shorty quickly dashes behind a tree when Popeye turns around.)

Popeye (to the audience): Do youse ever gets the feelin' that yer bein' watched?

(Then Shorty pops out from behind the tree)

Popeye: Ah ha! So it's you, Shorty!

Shorty: Hiya Popeye! Whatcha doin"?

Popeye: Oh I'm just doin' some fishin', ya know fishin' season's open. Don'tcha, Shorty?

Shorty: Fishin'! I love fishin', Popeye! Why once I caught a 100 bounder flounder.

Popeye: Ya did?

Shorty: Yup. So can I go fishin' wit' ya Popeye?

Popeye: Well I guess, you can carry the bait until we git there!

(Popeye hands Shorty a can labeled "Spinach" containing the bait)

Shorty: Gee, thanks Popeye! Oh and, one more thing......

[Jon Cooke]

Shorty: ... I'm hungry! Let's have some lunch!

Popeye: But...but...

Shorty: You're treat!? Gee, thanks Popeye! You're a pal!

Popeye: But, Shorty, I don't...

Shorty rushes into a restaurant, "Wimpy's Cafe". Wimpy hands Shorty a menu.

Shorty: I'll take a triple hamburger with everything on it... a side of french fries, onion rings, the biggest vanilla milkshake you got...

Wimpy fills Shorty's order.

Shorty: ...an' my pal, POPEYE, is paying for it all! (Shorty pointes to Popeye)

Wimpy hands Popeye a bill for $20.00.

Popeye: But I ain't got any money!

Wimpy: No money!? (He throws an apron at Popeye and points to the kicthen) Then you'll do dishes!

Popeye sees mountains of dishes.

Later.... we see a muttering Popeye finishing the last few dishes. He hears a voice...

Shorty: Ya done yet, Popeye!!???? I don't see how we're gonna get any fishin' done if your gonna be doin' the dishes all day!

Popeye: Why... I ... outta...



-Jon

[Captain Caps]

Popeye: Boy, I'm hungry. Shorty probably ate my spinach, though. Hey, Wimpy...Ya got any spinach?

Wimpy: Why yes we do...There's several fresh bowls of spinach ready for the veggie burgers.

Popeye: Oh...in that case, never mind.

(Popeye mumbles under his breath while the final dish. His squinting eyes catch a newspaper headline. "ROBERT ALTMAN ON THE OSCAR INSIDE TRACK: still hates America")

Popeye: What? He made a live-action movie of my adventures, and now he's insulting my country? Why, I oughta...(A lightbulb goes off over his head) Wimpy, I need to borrow that spinach you have.

Wimpy: Okay...I'll give you the spinach today. Pay me Tuesday.

Popeye: Sure thing...

(Popeye grabs the spinach, eats it all with great speed, and starts running. The muscles in his legs grow tremendous, and the anchor tatoos on his ankles start crawling up until they get to his fists. Running extremely quickly, he ends up in a movie studio. We see Robert Altman, drawn in "Popeye" style, talking to interviewers)

Robert: Yes, if I do win the Oscar, you can bet I'll say something bad about George W. Bush, and furthermore...Oh, hi, Popeye! I haven't seen you since 1980!

(Robert gets punched)

Popeye: You're coming with me. We're going on a fishing trip.

(Cut back to Popeye's small town.)

Popeye: Sorry, Mr. Altman...Care for some fishing?

Robert: Okay...

(Popeye and Robert hail Shorty, and the 3 of them get on a boat. We see various shots of them fishing, and then we see Popeye signalling Shorty to get out some ACME brand fireworks and rockets)

Popeye: Say, Robert, there's a fireworks display coming up...

Robert: Yeah, so?

Popeye: Well, guess what? You're participating!

Robert: How?

(All of a sudden, Robert launches off and we see a display of red, white and blue fireworks, while "Stars and Stripes Forever" plays in the background)

Robert: (In the distance) I'll get you for this, Popeye!

Shorty: Nice move, Popeye...

Popeye: Think nothing of it, and now to fishing!

(Pick up here)

[Pietro]

(Later, we see Shorty catching huge fish, and Popeye only catches sardines.)

Popeye: Wot luck! Me kingdom for a large fish.

Shorty: Oh boy, Popeye! Wait'll ya see my new fishin' technique! Why I was the best darn fisher where I come from!

(Popeye looks at Shorty performaing his new technique, fishing with his hands tied behind his back.)

Popeye: Hey, Shorty! Wot say we team up?

Shorty: Okay, Popeye! We'll start all over again!

(Shorty throws all the fish back in the water. Popeye starts to get angry at Shorty.)

Shorty: Gee, Popeye, ol' chum, ol' pal, ol' buddy we'll catch lots of BIG fish, won't we?

(Popeye starts to calm down)

Popeye (to himself): Forgive and forget that's me motto.

Shorty: Hey Popeye! Look what I got.........

[angilbas]

(A huge, ferocious orca rises from the water.)

Shorty: "That's the biggest fish yet!"

Popeye: "Shorty, you ignoranamux! That's no fish! It's an orca -- a mammal!"

(Close-up of the quivering Shorty as the orca's shadow covers him, causing his pupils to dilate.)

Shorty: "Tha...that's the orca who ate Bo Derek!"

(Tight close-up of the orca's stomach, showing a tattoo of Bo Derek with one leg in a cast.)

Bo: "Don't I know it!"

(The orca spits out Shorty's hook, leaps from the water, and uses its hind fins as legs to chase him.)

Shorty (running): "Help! Popeye!"

[Pietro]

(Once Popeye sees Shorty in trouble. He reaches into his pocket to find his spinach. Instead he pulls out a can of onions)

Popeye: Now don't tell me I left it at home.

(Again, Popeye reaches into his pocket again and pulls out a can of carrots. Then he asks the audience for help)

Popeye: Is there a can of spinach in the house?

(A member from the audience throws Popeye a can of spinach)

Audience Member: Here ya are, Popeye!

Popeye: Gee, thank pal! Now, ta save Shorty!

(Popeye eats the spinach and he muscles grow just as strong as an anvil. Then Popeye runs up to the giant orca.)

Popeye: Ya sea-swabin, sea swab! I'll show ya ta mess wit' me chums!

(Popeye punches the giant orca into a whole pile of canned sardines)

Popeye (to the audience): Gee I can't believe I used spinach in a cartoon with Shorty, I don't think I ever did that before.

Shorty: Gee, tanks, Popeye! Now let's get back to the fishin'! What do ya say Popeye?

[John-Paul]

Popeye:Kid I dun' wanna fish no more

Shorty:Why not Popeye?

Popeye:BECAUSE!

Shorty:Because

Popeye (Pretends to cry):Olive Oil's REAL sick!

Shorty:No hse isn't popeye

Popeye:Yes she is

(A pirate then hits Popeye)

[Jon Cooke]

Popeye: Ouch! Why'd ya hit me, ya pi-rate!?

Pirate: Arrrr! (Bluto appears)

Bluto: Hey, runt! I'd like you to meet me pal, Captain Westington Ernest Von Frankfurter III.

Pirate: Arrr!

Bluto: An' we've kidnapped yer nephews!

Pip-Eye: Help...

Pup-Eye: Us...

Poop-Eye: Uncle...

Peep-Eye: Popeye!

Popeye: Oh my garsh! Why'd ya kidnap me nephews, ya swabs?

Pirate: Arrrr!!

Shorty: This cartoon ain't makin' any sense, Popeye!

[Pietro]

Popeye: Yeah, it just don't add up. Foist ting I knew, we were fishin', then we went to "Wimpy's Cafe," then we met Robert Altman, then we went fishin' again, then ya almost got eaten by a giant orca, then I calls ya a "kid," then a pirate hits me on the shoulder who's Captain Westington Ernest Frankfoiter the thoid or whatever his name was.....

Pirate: Arrrr!!!

Popeye: An' den we find out dat Bluto kidnapped me nephews. And now I gots ta save 'em!

Pirate: Arrrr!!!

(Popeye pulls out his spinach, but Bluto picks it up)

Bluto: Oh no, you ain't eaten no spinach in this picture!

Pirate: Arrrr!!!

Popeye: But, I already ate it......

Bluto: Well, anyway......

(Bluto throws the spinach on the ground and it rolls over to Shorty)

Shorty: Gee, Popeye's in trouble!

(Shorty eats the spinach and....

[Jon Cooke]

... he immediately spits it out.

Shorty: Yuck! That's disgustin'! How does Popeye eat the stuff!

Bluto: Ha, ha, ha! Looks like dat lil' twerp can't help ya, Popeye! Tie 'em both up, Captain Westington Ernest Von Frankfurter III!

Pirate: Arrrr!!!

Bluto: Good job, Captain Westington Ernest Von Frankfurter III!!

Pirate: Arrrr!!!

Shorty: Gee, Popeye!!! Who's gonna save us from Bluto an' Captain Westington Ernest Von Frankfurter III??

A voice (off-screen) : I will!!

Popeye: Oh my garsh!!! It's... it's...

[John-Paul]

Popeye:Betty Boop?

Betty:Boobp boop pei doop oop!

Popeye:Ok now this picture ain't makin' no sence at tall!

(All of a sudden a car appears)

Popeye:Oh lordy!

(Then it morphs into an alien spaceship and the aliens look like Mickey Mouse)

Mickey:Surrender all your.................

[Pietro]

Off-screen voice: HEY! That wasn't Betty Boop! It was me!

Shorty: Who are you?

(The voice is reveled to be none-other than Billy the Goat from "The Hungry Goat")

Billy: Hiya Popeye, I couldn't help, but overhear your cry for help and I.......

(Billy spots a trash can filled with cans)

Billy: Mmmm, dessert! Excuse me a minute Popeye.

(Billy goes off screen and eats the cans out of the trash can)

Billy: Now, uh, where were we? Oh yeah, I decided ta save you and, uh, uh......hey, what's your name anyway?

Shorty: I'm Popeye's pal, Shorty.

Billy: Well......

[Jon Cooke]

Later... Billy, Shorty, and Popeye are on a boat fishing.

Popeye: Gee, Billy, thanks for savin' us from them Mickey Mouse aliens, Cap'n Westington...er... whatever the pirate, Bluto, and savin' me nephews. That was pretty heroic!

Shorty: It was amazin'!

Billy: Ah, shucks, don't mention it.

Popeye: Now we can finally get back to fishin'!

Billy: I need to go now, fellas! Bye!

Shorty & Popeye: Bye!

Popeye: Ah, now fishin' at last!

We hear a voice off-screen:

Voice: Ahoy, mates!

Popeye: PAPPY!?!? What are YOU doin' in this picture!?

[Pietro]

(Pappy comes by on a boat)

Pappy: Hi son, just thought I'd go fishin' with ya and yer little friend.

Popeye: Pappy, ya can't fish yer too old.

Pappy: Too old, eh? I'm never too old ta fish! Remember that son. Yer never too old for anything!

Popeye: B-b-b-b-but Pappy! Ya can'ts fish! Ya got ta be in bed!

Pappy: Nonsense son, I'm Poopdeck Pappy!

Popeye: Well, okay Pappy you can......

(Popeye then finds Pappy fast asleep in his boat, snoring loudly)

Popeye (whispering): See ya, Pappy.

(Popeye and Shorty head back to shore in their boat. Just then, Pappy wakes up)

Pappy: Hey ya swabs git back here! Wait'll I show ya me fishin' awards!

(Later, Popeye and Shorty finally arrive to the beach)

Shorty: Gee Popeye, we never got ta fish at least once in this story. It doesn't make any sense why it's titled "Fish Anglin' Ahoy."

Popeye: I know, Shorty, but......

Off-screen voice: Yoo hoo! Popeye!

Popeye: Olive!

[Jon Cooke]

Olive: Thank goodness I found you! You'll have to watch Swee' Pea while I go out shopping!

Olive hands Swee' Pea to Popeye.

Olive: You can take Swee' Pea fishing with you.

Popeye: But, Olive, we justs got back from fishin'.... sort of...

Swee' Pea: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Olive: Look what you did, Popeye! You made Swee' Pea cry, you brute!

Popeye: All right, Swee' Pea... let's go fishin' (again). You too, Shorty!

[Pietro]

Shorty: Hey, Popeye, ya know I don't want ta fish anymore.

Popeye: Ya don't?

Shorty: Yeah, I mean we haven't caught a bite in this entire cartoon.

Popeye: Lisken, Shorty, we has ta fish, after all da title of dis cartoon is "Fish Anglin' Ahoy."

Shorty: Yeah, you're right. And, hey, where's Swee' Pea?

Popeye: Swee' Pea? Oh my garsk, I forgot all about him!

(Swee' Pea is seen catching tons of large fish using smaller ones)

Shorty: Look Popeye! There's Swee' Pea! And look at all the fish he caught!

Popeye: Swee' Pea!

(Popeye runs and grabs Swee' Pea. A larger fish eats all the fish Swee' Pea got.)

Shorty: Popeye, look!

Popeye: Oh my garsk! All the fish is gone.

(Olive Oyl walks back with a load of groceries in her hands)

Olive: Oh Popeye! I'm back! How was Sweet Pea?

Popeye: He was very good, Olive.

Olive: Okay, then, come on Sweet Pea let's go home!

(Olive takes Swee' Pea home)

Shorty: Now what'll we do, Popeye?

(Then a giant whale swallows Popeye and Shorty)

Popeye: Oh my garsk, this story's turnin' into a whale of a tale!

TO BE CONTINUED......

[Thad Komorowski]

Shorty: Gee Popeye, I wonder who are next guest star'll be?

Popeye: Just shut up, Shorty, and nothin' else will happen!

Shorty: Okay, I'll just sit here, and whistle.

Shorty whistles "Skiddle Diddle Dee"...

Popeye: Shorty, no! Don't whistle that song, it'll signal, oh my garsh! It can't be! They're not even owned by Paramount Pit'ures! It's... it's...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe Jon or Pietro should pick up the story, since they probably know who the heck I'm talking about...


-Thad

[Jon Cooke]

Shorty: Hey, look! It's the Famous Cartoon Stars... HERMAN & KATNIP!!

Popeye: Wait a second... how did Herman and Katnip get inside a whale??!

[Pietro]

Herman: Let me tell ya it's a WHALE of tale!

Katnip: That's right!

Shorty: Hey Popeye, if Herman and Katnip are here, do you think that Baby Huey, Dog Face, Moe Hare, Tommy Turtle, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Little Lulu and Buzzy the Crow are here too?

Popeye: No, Shorty! No!

(We then see Baby Huey, Dog Face, Moe Hare, Tommy Turtle, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Little Lulu and Buzzy the Crow who also have been swallowed by the whale)

Baby Huey: Duh, hi Popeye!

Dog Face: Hiya, Popeye!

Moe Hare: Hey Popeye!

Tommy Tortise: Greetings Popeye!

Casper: Hi Popeye! Can I be your friend?

Little Lulu: Hello Popeye!

Buzzy the Crow: Hiya Boss!

Shorty: Maybe we should end this fanfic now.

Katnip: Humm, that sounds logical!

Herman: But we can't end it just yet, we have at least one more page of dis fanfic to cover and then it's over!

TO BE CONTINUED.....

[Jon Cooke]

Popeye: And how are we going to get out of this whale?

Casper: I'll take care of that!

Casper floats out of the whale. He floats into the whale's face and says:

Casper: Hey you, don't hurt my friends!

Whale: A G-G-G-G-G-HOST!!!

The whale spits everyone out and swims away as fast as he can.

Popeye: Thanks, Casper!