Super Nerd Issue #1, Chapter #1
This is my first time writing my own comic book. And I may need your help on giving me giving advice and tips to improve on this chapter.
NOTE: This is a work in progress:
CHAPTER ONE: The jewelry heist: Enter the Leopard
Shot of the Jewelry Exchange building at late night
CAPTION: Pretty Oaks, California. The Jewelry Exchange building, 2 A.M.
CAPTION: “Soon, the Council will embark on its’ greatest caper yet!”
CAPTION: “Soon, the entire world will be on kissing at our feet!”
CAPTION: “Our purrrrfect plan is in full effect!”
CAPTION: But first…
A shot inside the third floor, in a darkened room where a cylinder, covered in a rectangular-shaped glass case and surrounded by several red laser beams, contains a large shiny diamond inside. A shadowy figure sneaks outside the beams
CAPTION: I have to make a pit stop along the way.
With cat-like agility, the mysterious figure flips over and dodges the security beams like an Olympic gymnast and heads towards the cylinder. A yellow fur glove leans towards the glass case, retracting its’ claws
The gloves’ claws touched the glass, cutting in a perfect clockwise twist
The gloved hand gently and carefully pushes the cut shaped glass oval aside, the figure reveals her face, it’s Lady Leopard, glazing at the diamond.
LADY LEOPARD: Puurrrrrfect!
Leopard’s hand was about to reach the diamond when a loud voice rings at her left.
VOICE: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
Leopard looks at her left. Standing outside the room entrance, is a beautiful young blonde-haired girl in a red swimsuit and high-heel boots, posing in a superhero’s stance (standing firm with her hands on her hips.) It’s Gorgeous Girl, one of the world’s greatest superheroes.
GORGEOUS GIRL: Up to your old tricks, I see. In on to your usual shenanigans, this time, Lady Leopard!
LADY LEOPARD: How purrrrfectly convenient you show up, Gorgeous Girl. You are just in time for the Council’s greatest perrrrformance yet!
GORGEOUS GIRL: What are you talking about?
LADY LEOPARD: None of your business for now! You’ll have to catch me first!
Leopard runs out through the third story window. She jumps outside and uses her adhesive gloves to stick on the outside wall. She climbs down the wall at like a spider while, unnoticed, a streak of red swoops down behind her.
When she reaches the ground, she stands and turns around and sees Gorgeous Girl, standing with her arms folded, standing in front of her.
LADY LEOPARD: (Surprised look on her face, sweat drop) What?!?
GORGEOUS GIRL: (winking) you’ll have to be a little faster than that!
LADY LEOPARD: Try and catch me first!
Leopard zips away in a blur of yellow, with Gorgeous Girl in pursuit at super-speed. Yellow and red blurs streaks down the empty downtown streets like shooting stars, blowing away the liter on the sidewalks.
Shot of Leopard looking at Gorgeous Girl while running in super-speed
GORGEOUS GIRL: Give it up, Leopard!
LADY LEOPARD: You are so perrrrsistent, young one…
Leopard reached on her back
LADY LEOPARD: Let’s see if you are as smart!
Leopard throws something on the ground.
A barrage of smoke bombs blinded Gorgeous Girl, stopping her on her tracks.
LADY LEOPARD: Sayonara, for now! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Leopard sped away into the horizon.
The colored smoke gave way to a blurry red tornado. When the smoke clears, the tornado reveals a spinning Gorgeous Girl. She then stops spinning then coughed a little from the fumes.
GORGEOUS GIRL: (Coughs) Huh?
She looked around the empty night street for Leopard’s whereabouts and she was nowhere to be found.
Shot of Gorgeous Girl standing under a streetlight.
GORGEOUS GIRL: Oh no! I missed her.
She put her right hand on her chin and was thinking
GORGEOUS GIRL: (thinking) I don’t think she was just here for a mere jewel heist. They’re planning something big, but what?
Any comments or suggestions?