"Negativity"

[sun]

It can be started by any small thought.
It can be started by some small act
It can be started by some unknown
.
Sometimes, it stays for a short time, and goes.
Sometimes it does not.
For years it has owned a place in me.
I know why, but I am not alone.
Many have this place inside them too.

For some of us, it was installed by others,
but for some, we did it to ourselves.
It does not matter.
For it is there.

When it comes strong, it is like being in the darkest, most empty, cold, heartless, place, totally alone.
.
Here, every finger points at me that I am very bad, completely no good.
Nothing I have done is right.
It feels like I killed someone. Yet I have not.
But these sounds in my head are nothing but lies from some distant past voice.

I see hanging upon the wall, the row upon row, of casset tapes in small players.
Hundreds of tapes ready to play ,when their time comes.
Often, they seem to start all by themselves.
Magically moving me into that place of Hell, which is a lie..
Alone.
Dark
Vengeful
I hate all of me for something, deeper than anything, the tapes play their evil song.
Eventuallly, they stop. I rest.

These tapes lie.
The Negativity lies.
The truth is I am a good, helpful, sensitive, kind person,
Imperfect as we are all.
Trying my best to survive and live and enjoy.
The time that I have, for that is all we have.

Stu-oldtoonguy

[Matt A]

Dude, that was good. What you described is exactly how I feel pretty much every single bloody day, so as you said it's good to know that I'm not as alone in that as I sometimes think. That's an encouraging thought...:anime: :anime: :anime:

Very good job!:anime: :anime: :anime: :anime: :anime:

-Matt A-

[TrogdorNyimbhat]

I try to look positive most of the time, but the negativity within really aggrivates me. No way to get rid of it until I accomplish what I want, but the inability to do so is causing it, keeping it, and making it even stronger with each passing day.

You should know oldtoonguy. Good contribution letting others know how you feel.