Sequel-Hungry Nation Demands Production of Click II (and other Onion headlines)

[Peter Paltridge]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ce=slate_rss_1

It's been a while since The Onion made me laugh.

According to Sparks, 2007 has been "egregiously lacking" in sequels, only providing movie-continuation fans with the films Spiderman 3, Shrek the Third, Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End, Live Free or Die Hard, Ocean's 13, The Bourne Ultimatum, Hostel: Part II, Evan Almighty, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Rush Hour 3, Resident Evil: Extinction, Mr. Bean's Holiday, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and the follow-up to 2003's Daddy Day Care, Daddy Day Camp.

"This summer was a tentative step in the right direction, but we have much, much further to go," Sparks said.

[Dynamite XI]

Ah, sequels. I still stand by the notion that they should produce Titanic II.

Speaking of sequels that should NEVER be made, I recently read about a guy out there who wrote a script for a sequel to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, featuring a 40-year-old Ferris. And this guy is trying to shop the thing around Hollywood, hoping that John Hughes and/or Matthew Broderick can be talked into making it. True story.

[Peter Paltridge]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ce=slate_rss_1

"Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails" is another great one. And no, you didn't miss anything, the show isn't real--but I can see in my head exactly how it'd be written.

[takineko]

oh its not real, I was about to say, LOL

[Draft]

Ah, sequels. I still stand by the notion that they should produce Titanic II.

Speaking of sequels that should NEVER be made, I recently read about a guy out there who wrote a script for a sequel to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, featuring a 40-year-old Ferris. And this guy is trying to shop the thing around Hollywood, hoping that John Hughes and/or Matthew Broderick can be talked into making it. True story.

The Ferris thing doesn't sound too bad. Prolly could be a good DTV for if they considered picking it up

[takineko]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ce=slate_rss_1

"Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails" is another great one. And no, you didn't miss anything, the show isn't real--but I can see in my head exactly how it'd be written.

I was thinking of that article as I read this

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/2...723838000.html

Just because Lord of the Rings and Narnia did well, why didn't Golden Compass? Narnia did well partially BECAUSE it was based off the Bible. Golden Compass was written purposely to mimic the story type of Narnia and Lord of the Rings, but was meant to push atheism. Personally, it annoys me when adults take their squabbles and dangle them in the face of children, so I chose not to see it.

[Peter Paltridge]

I was thinking of that article as I read this

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/2...723838000.html

Just because Lord of the Rings and Narnia did well, why didn't Golden Compass? Narnia did well partially BECAUSE it was based off the Bible. Golden Compass was written purposely to mimic the story type of Narnia and Lord of the Rings, but was meant to push atheism. Personally, it annoys me when adults take their squabbles and dangle them in the face of children, so I chose not to see it.

I think it has more to do with people being sick of big fat bloated fantasy epics with CGI landscapes and children as the main characters. Hollywood is usually overdoing one genre and this time, it's fantasy. Did you see "The Seeker," "The Last Mimzy" or "Eragon"?

[takineko]

I think it has more to do with people being sick of big fat bloated fantasy epics with CGI landscapes and children as the main characters. Hollywood is usually overdoing one genre and this time, it's fantasy. Did you see "The Seeker," "The Last Mimzy" or "Eragon"?

I didn't see the Seeker, but I kinda liked Mimzy except for the hippies. No offense to them it just felt like they were shoved down your throat. Eragon was very very odd. But you're right, Hollywood .. I just don't know any more, are they lazy? Is that what this is? Is that why we had like 4 penguin themed children's movies in one year? My head hurts...

[Peter Paltridge]

I didn't see the Seeker, but I kinda liked Mimzy except for the hippies. No offense to them it just felt like they were shoved down your throat. Eragon was very very odd. But you're right, Hollywood .. I just don't know any more, are they lazy? Is that what this is? Is that why we had like 4 penguin themed children's movies in one year? My head hurts...

Lazy, unoriginal, take your pick of slurs. The biggest problem is one that's been around for generations: movies cost so much that nobody can afford to take a risk on anything.

I would argue that merely copying what seems to be popular doesn't always work either (Golden Compass is one example). So if it's all up to chance either way, why not gamble on something GOOD?

[takineko]

True. I'll admit I was interested in Golden Compass until I saw it was all just another kids movie with a lesson I didn't feel like hearing. They even showed the first five minutes of it on Yahoo news and that kinda sealed my desire to not see it.

[Dynamite XI]

I think it has more to do with people being sick of big fat bloated fantasy epics with CGI landscapes and children as the main characters.

That's the main reason I'm not interested in seeing it -- it's just another fantasy CGI lovefest, so why bother? If not for the controversy surrounding the film, it would be another forgettable movie.

Additionally, I thought that the title of "The Seeker" was just another lame way of mooching off of the Harry Potter franchise. Tell me I wasn't the only one.

[takineko]

That's the main reason I'm not interested in seeing it -- it's just another fantasy CGI lovefest, so why bother? If not for the controversy surrounding the film, it would be another forgettable movie.

Additionally, I thought that the title of "The Seeker" was just another lame way of mooching off of the Harry Potter franchise. Tell me I wasn't the only one.

I thought golden compass at least looked better than the ones we've seen in recent history.

I also agree about the Seeker.

Did you see "The Seeker," "The Last Mimzy" or "Eragon"?

I thought of some more. Zathura, Bridge to Tarabythia.

[Peter Paltridge]

I thought of some more. Zathura, Bridge to Tarabythia.

The weird thing about Bridge to Terabithia is, it was only advertised as a fantasy epic. It was really about two kids playing pretend in the woods, and only occasionally would we see what was going on in their heads. As is sometimes the case, the advertising department thought it would sell better as a different movie, so they produced a trailer that would strongly suggest "fantasy epic."

[takineko]

As is sometimes the case, the advertising department thought it would sell better as a different movie, so they produced a trailer that would strongly suggest "fantasy epic."

I've noticed that, what the heck is wrong with them?
Thats like when fans edit clips from the shining to make it look like a feel good movie.

[Narf]

Was the Seeker that one where the kid on the commercial says 'Save the world? I can't even talk to a girl' or something like that? That one really looked stupid.

[takineko]

Was the Seeker that one where the kid on the commercial says 'Save the world? I can't even talk to a girl' or something like that? That one really looked stupid.

That quote just about says it all doesn't it?

Speaking of which...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJxKDLF0nVo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXcOmCCwuhA

I like that kid actor, but does he ever age? Honestly.

[Narf]

That quote just about says it all doesn't it?

Speaking of which...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJxKDLF0nVo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXcOmCCwuhA

I like that kid actor, but does he ever age? Honestly.

Yeah, really. He's a good actor, but I don't care much for the movies he's been in lately (Arthor and the Invisibles, ick). I'm not looking forward to this one either.
Speaking of sequels, Shrek the Third sucked. The DVDs are saying it's the best Shrek yet. Guess what? It's not. I thought Shrek 2 was the best Shrek, and I don't even LIKE Shrek that much. I hope we're not getting a Shrek Four soon. Shrek is like an Easter egg. When you first dye it, it's just so colorful and great. Few days later, it's a little faded, but still nice. Two weeks later, it's old and rotten and makes you want to spew when you open the fridge to grab a Coke and it's right there. Yuck.

[takineko]

lol

Puss in boots ftw.

[Peter Paltridge]

With the strike crippling late-night and Comedy Central satire, The Onion practically has the exclusive on candidate roasts.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...ce=slate_rss_1
This one is particularly good.

[Draft]

Skittles are bad though..

Oh, and according to I Am Legend, cancer will be cured by 2009 or something like that..