View Poll Results: Which cartoon family wins?
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Flintstones vs. Jetsons: which iconic family comes out on top?
OK, I know I haven't posted a poll in quite awhile---been busy lately, plus lacking in ideas... which explains a lame "who'd win" poll here (inspired by the Grudge Match website contest):
(Orbit City, the future, late afternoon. Fade in on Spacely's Sprockets; we see George is speaking to Mr. Spacely)
SPACELY: Jetson, as you know, the evil aliens from Kenosha-4 are planning a massive invasion of Earth. These aliens have no compassion for us humans---unlike *yours truly* (dumps some ashes from his cigar on George's lap )---and they *will* destroy all life on Earth in order to conquer it, if necessary. Unfortunately, all of Earth's present-day defenses are useless against the aliens.
GEORGE: But what does this have to do with us, sir?
SPACELY: The government's asked us, as a leading manufacturer of weapons for the military, to come up with a way of stopping the aliens. After much research, our best scientists have come up with---THIS! (Shows a holographic diagram of a weird death-ray-like device) This baby will be able to easily stop those aliens and send 'em packin' back to their stupid home planet. Unfortunately, the weapon requires this... (presses a button, to show an image of what looks like an oddly-shaped diamond) This diamond would be the only thing that could properly configure and power the weapon.
GEORGE: That's great! So what's wrong?
SPACELY: (In George's face) What's *wrong*, lunk-head, is that this diamond existed only in the distant past---namely, the Stone Age! And since that time, there've been no historical records of its disappearance!
GEORGE: Oh, gee, that's too bad... I guess we're doomed.
SPACELY: Hardly. Do you remember that stupid time machine your son invented?
GEORGE: Aw, no, Mr. Spacely, you wouldn't send us back *there*...besides, it broke down, remember?
SPACELY: Then get him to build a *new* one! Go back in time, get that diamond, and bring it back here... or there'll be more than those aliens to worry about---like your *JOB*!
GEORGE: *Gulp*...y-yes, sir.
(Later, at the Jetsons---where we see the Jetsons, Rosie, Henry Orbit, Astro, Mac, and even Orbitty standing in front of a new time machine)
ELROY: (Wiping his hands) There, dad... it's all finished. And with much better parts than the old one, too...
GEORGE: I hope this goes better than the last trip.... (sighs) Fire 'er up, son, and let's get this over with---the entire fate of the world is at stake!
ELROY: Right, dad. THe Stone Age, here we come!
(The machine, and all the characters, vanish...)
(Fade on: The Stone Age, namely Bedrock. We see Fred talking to Mr. Slate...)
MR. SLATE: Fred, our quarry specialists have just discovered this valuable *and* oddly-shaped diamond... (holds up the diamond). Several government specialists are interested in purchasing the diamond for some new weapon they call an, uh, "light amplification weapon" (holds up a slab showing the "blueprints" for the weapon, which is apparently meant to use the diamond to amplify sunlight into a massive, powerful laser beam). As you know, various enemies are planning a massive attack upon the country, and the feds believe *this* is the only weapon that will stop their attack in their tracks! Without this diamond, their light-amplification weapon won't work... so, I'm ordering you to guard it at all costs! (Gives Fred the "blueprints" and diamond)
FRED: You can count on me, sir! I won't let you down!
(Back at the Flintstones' house, we see the entire gang, including the Rubbles, present)
WILMA: I don't know, Fred... this seems awfully dangerous---what if the diamond gets stolen?
BARNEY: Yeah... what if?
FRED: Eh, what are the chances of that?
(We suddenly see the time-machine materialize in the room, startling everyone)
FRED: (pleased) George! You're back!
GEORGE: (Pleased) Hi Fred---glad to see you again... (gasps) The diamond! Quick, grab it! (Tries to do so, but Fred holds it up out of reach)
FRED: Whoa, there, pal---I need this diamond for a weapon to keep our country safe from a bunch of terrorist goons who'll blow us to bits without it!
GEORGE: But, Fred---we need it in the future to protect the *Earth* from a devastating alien attack! So, if it isn't too much trouble, we need the diamond...
JANE: Can't we *both* just share the diamond? We'll bring it right back.
ELROY: No can do, Mom...according to Dad's blueprints, the anti-alien weapon would make the diamond useless for any other purpose once it's installed!
FRED: Gee, that's the same thing Slate told me about the light-amplification device this hunka ice is destined for. And since nothin' else will *work* in that thing...
ELROY: (Looking over the light-amplification device's "blueprints" lying on a table) Dad, he's right---none of our devices from the future will work in this weapon as a substitute! So I guess only one of us *can* have that diamond...
(Both families stare at each other, then Fred grows angry looking)
FRED: Pal, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. (Looks at Rosie and Mac) And you can take those two walking tin-cans with ya, (laughs)
GEORGE: (Sternly) Sorry, Fred, but I'm afraid I don't have any choice... grab the diamond, everyone!
FRED: Over our dead bodies! A little help, guys?
(The cavemen and people-of-tomorrow, now both ticked off, start to move in toward each other...)
So, who wins in this fight between these two iconic cartoon families?
After much back-and-forth 'hilarious' violence, the Jetsons will acquire the diamond, because their situation is somewhat more desperate (and there's more of 'em.)
But, this being an HB cartoon, that won't be the end of the story. As the Jetsons are just about to leave, Elroy, who has been trying to make himself heard for some time, will finally get his say. They can not just take away the diamond, because if this stone-age society is left undefended against the terrorists, that will very probably change the future. "When we get back, we might not even exist!"
So the two families will have to work out some way to disarm both threats. Most likely, everyone will participate in some very spread-out plot to take down the neanderthal terrorists, which won't require the diamond but will involve much amusing head-klunking. The Final Confrontation will be against the terrorist leader, who bears striking resemblence to some well-known 20th (or very-early 21st) century celebrity. Marlon Branrock, perhaps?
Then there'll be a scene of warm-and-fuzzy fellowship, before the Jetsons return and save their own world.
But Spacely will still find some reason not to give George a raise.
Last edited by Sharklady; 03-18-2006 at 12:36 PM.
Wait a minute- how can this poll have gotten three votes when, according to the counter, it's only had three views?
I think something's stuck!
Think it's OK now...
Originally Posted by Sharklady
At any rate, I voted for the Flintstones... between that any one of the cavemen (and -women) could probably single-handedly beat up the human Jetsons family members (see: various episodes of Fred, Barney, Betty and/or Wilma beating someone up), and possibly calling in external help (Bamm-Bamm's super-strength, the various animal appliances, clever use of the various rocks lying around, etc.), figure they could take the fight (after a scene of hilarious-yet-ludicrous cartoon antics between the two families). Though yeah, will agree they'd probably figure out they'd have to work together and whatnot to resolve both their problems... ;-)